Sometimes I wish I was different.

I mean I'm not the most strong or brave or intelligent.

I do know I have my good points, I make people laugh I'm the bomb at any instrument I pick up , but I do wish I was braver.

Braver, so I could tell people things, Like how I feel about them, or stronger to face up to people and tell them the truth about certain things, like how im gay for example.

Now you May be Looking at me funny now, or even be crinkling your face in disgust, but your not a real person are you journal, see I'm so much of a coward I'm resorting to writing my feelings in a book.

But I can put anything I want in this book and this is where it will stay.

But Im getting ahead of myself here my name is Demyx O'Donohue.

Yes yes alliteration and all that feel free giggle or chuckle, what ever the case may be, according to Roxas I have whats called a manly giggle what ever that is.

Now im tall , very tall much to my best friend Zexy's chagrin , considering the fact hes almost a year older then me.

My hair is dirty blond not dirty as in grimy heaven forbid, I take great pride in my hair especially my creation the Mull-Hawk its like a Mo-hawk and a mullet has a drunken night together and did the nasty without protection ,hey Rikus words not mine.

But its my orginal creation and im proud of it, pfft and the teachers think that all in my head is music they couldnt be more wrong.

Music does take up a large portion yes but its more like ;

30 % food

10% Sleep

50% the well being of my sitar

and the rest, well Zexion

, Zexys hair ,his eyes,his butt, uh you get the brings us to my problem as I had earlier stated I am gay and am crushing on my best friend with as you know never ends well, but heres the thing ive only know him almost a year, well if you want to be specific 358 and round about a half days, yes im counting If its about Zexy I cant help it.

It was quite silly really, I had just broken the string on my sitar, no not a guiter a sitar!, and had to run into the local shopping centre, I stopped off and stocked up on hair wax as well, and me being the clutz I am just had to knock over a stand... of tomato cans sending them rolling everywhere , as I turned I winced the store clerk who looked very mean , and I like the coward I am , turned and bolted it out of there shouting run! Run away!.

As I did , but I didnt get very far, as bam! I knocked straight into him, bundling me, him and another food stand crashing to the floor.

I remember as I opened my eyes I had to rub my eyee, blink then look at him again .

In front of me was the most beautiful person I had seen in my life, I wanted to reach forward and feel how soft his periwinkle, almost purple hair felt bewteen my fingers.

His eyes well the one eye I could see was like a blue diamond, shimminering with blue shades like the sky.

Heavy bangs veiled one side of his face .But from the portion of his face I could see, I knew he wasnt happy but there was the hint of a blush how cute!.

I stood up quickly and reached out my hand to help him up he glared at me but accepted . I pulled him up and was shocked at the height difference , he was small and so very cute ,i wanted to pick him and give him a big cuddle.

I could tell that wouldnt work so I resorted to introductions I had to get his name ,rubbing the back of my head in which I did when I was nervous I stuttered out my name along with apologies for knocking him to the ground.

I asked what his was before he released my hand with a blush , I hadnt relised we were still holding hands . He brushed himself off , turned and walked out of the store if I hadnt been carefull I wouldnt have heard his sweet little mumble but I heard it loud and clear Zexion.

I tried to follow him, actually have a conversation with him but a tap on the sholdaur stopped me I turned and there stood the store clerk mop in hand and skowl on face .I sighed and thought there went my chance at true love I would never see my sweet Zexy again .

But oh how the weavers of fate smiled on me that day.

As I strolled into college , traisped in my form room , counting the minutes until music class.

Which was the only class I enjoyed well apart from clases with Xiggy of course he was like the big brother I never had .I sat down in my seat at the back, smiled at our teacher, Xigbar.

He wouldnt let us use his last name, or tell us why he wears a eye patch and has scars runing over his face , one kid asked on our first day of freshmen year, Xigbar told him of course but in our juinor year and 3 years of intensive councilling he still screamed at the sight of the bogan that we had for a form tutor.

That day I mentally prepared myself for another day of teachers treating me like I was dumb and knew nothing except music , hey they thought that all through my life why change their minds now ?.

But then the door opened and in came Miss Gainsbrough, our office lady she was the nicest teacher I had met , but she was no pushover , she knew how to see the good in people and everyone in the school loved her for it but behind her was what I was intrested in.

As Miss Aerith was talking to Xigbar, I thanked the heavens for standing there , trying to put on a brave face was my Zexy , but I could see the nervous look in his eyes, to be assumed when it comes to a new school.

I straightned in my seat and mentally did a victory lap around the classroom as I came to the relization, there was only one seat free in the class, and that was the empty seat right next to me.

I beamed and said hello calling him by his nickname that I had thought up for him, he seemed unhappy with it was first but he grew into it he had to , since Xiggy put him under my care , we shared pretty much all lessons even music but that as he said was not his choosing ,so all he reallly did was sit there reading books as big as his head that were written by people 100 years ago as I sat there practicing my sitar ,it put him in a calm frame of mind to read he said I was just happy with his company.

It was on one of these Zexy and Demy read/play sitar time that suddenly the door flung open and in flew a blur of brown spikes, that quickly turned and used their weight against the door to close it, sighing in relive they slumped to the ground

.It was then that he saw us , it was Sora the bouncy ball hedgehog.

I knew him well enough, well I knew of him he was in a couple of my clases, but we never had the reason to talk . He smiled sheepisly and said hi, as his eyes lit up as he saw the sitar in my lap , but as soon as he opened his mouth to talk he was interupted by loud banging accompanied by shouts and curses all aimed at him.

Sora beamed, stood ,opened the door sending a blonde with a bed head inspired hair-do, and the silver hairsed sex god as I had overheard girls describe him, into a tangle of limbs on the floor.

Zexion raised his eyebrow and his eyes glinted with amusment at the scene that was unfolding.

Before the two on the floor had any chance to protest , Sora quite happily accounced "Riku, Roxas I think we have found our band!"

That was how I got roped into playing guiter and sing vocals for the band that didnt have a name yet as Sora has put it, only after strongly stating that the instrument at my feet was in fact a sitar not a guiter, totally different instruments.

After that it became a regular occourance for the five of us to get together for jam sessions at Rikus. Sora on drums, Riku on guiter or keybourd, Roxas on bass and me on guiter and vocals ,Zexion seemed to fall into a sort of manager roll , sitting in with at jam sessions or helping me with had of course not got a gig or anything yet, but we seemed content with just hanging out and making music.

It was at either Rikus or mine, Rikus for the music because of the lacking of neighbors made it great for blasting out the beat, or mine for movie night,thank you dad for being a nut with crazy sized tvs and surround sound that could make your ears bleed if you put if on full night often turned into crash in Demys room ,on the bean bags or the floor.

That where I am right now, 358 and a half days since I met Zexion, sitting in my room . I like my room its spacious and blue, very blue but with an underwater theme some out of the little mermaid as Zexy had dubbed It I didnt have a problem with it , little mermaid is my favourite disney movie of all time! .anway im sitting on the floor trying in vain to come up with lyrics that come from the heart.

Its for one of my assignments music isnt music unless it comes from within your self and your experience As my music teacher Areil had put it. Well, I know what I could write about , but that would just cause unessary problems bewteen Zexy and me. Throwing the music sheets across the room in dismay I put the headphones back on my head and listened to the genius that is David Bowie.