Okay, I have reread and changed some things, again. I am very aware of how ooc everyone is. No Simon isn't a rapist as some of you weren't clear, he just is abusive. Chloe is acting so strange because she is just now becoming Derek's Mate. This is a supernatural process in my fan fiction. Simon realizes this too. Hopefully this will make more sense now.
As dreams go this was the most disturbing.
I wasn't me in the dream I was watching myself like an audience member in a movie. I was an actor, and so was Derek.
"Chloe." he whispered. He was lying on his back and I was laying my head on his chest. Simon and Tori were there too, Tori looked like she was in pain and had ice on her stomach. Simon looked sad, but relieved.
"I can't believe you killed him." Tori said. Killed him? Derek? No way. My heart pulsed in a painful way but I started paying more attention to myself. Andrew wasn't there and that was strange considering we were with him. I shouldn't know I'm dreaming, this is too real to be a dream.
"I almost killed him, and its Simon's fault. Tell him not to piss me off anymore, or you could stop blackmailing me whenever you want." I said, but the sound of my voice was wrong, it sounded dead and upset.
"Okay." She said with sarcasm, but she whimpered as she tried to stand.
"Simon carry her inside. Now." I heard myself say and I was shocked. Why would I talk to Simon that way? Simon grunted and started towards her.
"Don't trouble yourself Simon. I can-" She broke off with another whimper and slide to the ground, with her eyes squeaked tightly. Simon lifted her gently but she still moaned.
"Sorry Tori next time I'll just punch you." I did this? Why would I say that if I hadn't? Gosh this is confusing. I heard myself sigh.
"Chloe? What happened?" Derek said, while struggling to sit up. I saw my face and gasped. I had never seen that expression on anyone's face before. A twisted version of guilt, terror and pain. I was tear streaked and very pale. I looked older but that was because my face was tense with strain something I'd never really had to feel.
"Are you tired?" I asked suddenly.
"A ?" he asked suspiciously. I stared at him, but my voice was a low whisper.
"I can't let go of you Derek."
Confusion swept across his face, he eyed my hand clutching his way too tightly.
"What are you talking about?" I knew I wouldn't be able to convince him so I let go of his hand and he swayed and started to drop before I fastened my hand back on his. He kept his eyes closed tightly his hand resisting mine.
"I'm sorry." I said sadly, and looked like I really was. Almost like it was eating away at me. I mean I would never want Derek dead, but why was I this upset? His hand squeezed mine and he sighed in defeat.
"Come on and ill see if Tori will-"
"Don't worry about her, she fell asleep in my bed I'm taking Derek's. You guys share Chloe's room tonight or until this is fixed....." Simon said cutting me off mid sentence, but I nodded and pulled Derek with me to my room. I noticed I looked happier, but Derek looked dreadful, like he was sure something bad would happen.
"When you say you can't let go of me...." Derek started to say but trailed off.
"Skin to skin contact or you'll die....as dramatic as it sounds. I think I can fix it I just need to concentrate. That I can do while you're asleep. I can't even believe it happened." I said, adverting my eyes. He didn't say anything but seemed more relaxed as we entered my room. I frowned at the two twin beds on opposite sides of the room. I turned to Derek uncertainly.
"Do you think you could move the beds?" he looked confused at first then nodded, but hesitated. I laughed and pulled him towards the first bed and slid my hand under the edge of his shirt so he could use both of his looked startled at first but moved the mattress onto the floor and went over to the other while I trailer at his side.
"Are my hands clammy?" I asked curiously. I always hated clammy hands. It was gross. He chuckled causing his back to shake and my hand slipped and he fell to his knees before I could grab him again.
"Damn it." I muttered and he looked at me like I was a disease.
"Since when do you cuss?" he asked. Oh, I had hadn't I?
"Since I killed the-" I broke stunned to realize I was about to say the man I love.
"Since I killed you." I said quickly before he realized I made a slip up. Derek looked sad and disapproving.
"It wasn't your fault. It's not anyone's." he said when I was about to say then whose is it.
I sank down to the mattress, pulling him with me.
"How do you usually sleep on your side or back? I doubt you sleep on your stomach." I said, he actually laughed, but then he tensed.
"What?" he shook his head and muttered 'side'. He leaned back closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. I giggled. He shot me an irritated look.
I turned onto my side so I was almost touching him. But I didn't want to hold his hand all night it might slip away so I put his hand on my waist under my shirt. He didn't say anything, but I sighed and moved closer to him.
"Just one night Derek, now sleep." I commanded. He laughed but didn't make any sound for a long time. I was positive he was asleep so I tried to focus as hard as I could. I guess I basically felt his ghost. I was trying to find the weak spot that was making him so close to death. Then suddenly, while I was deep in concentration, Derek shot upright with a very loud,
"What the hell?" I scrambled for his hand before he could fall, and stared at him in shock and irritation. Then I looked at him uncertainly, had I hurt him?
"What? Did I hurt you?" I asked, panic in my voice because I had already hurt him closed his eyes and took seven deep breaths and then glared at me.
"No you didn't, but don't do whatever you were doing." He hissed but he seemed uncomfortable puzzled over it trying to figure what I had done.
"Oh!" I said and started laughing hysterically.
"What?!" He asked surprised at my sudden laughter's couldn't stop laughing and Derek decided to wait until I was done. I actually laughed so hard I cried.
"Okay Derek sorry I won't do it again. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing." I said and tried to pull him back down to the bed, but he wouldn't budge.
"Derek?" I said and looked at him questioningly.
"Like I could sleep. Just pretend I'm not here." He said turned away, but still had my hand in his. Not that he had a choice. I tried to start where I left off without him knowing but it didn't work.
"Chloe." he said his voice was uneven. I was surprised but continued ignoring him. The answer was here somewhere. I went further and further then suddenly I was pinned on my back and Derek was glaring down at me.
"You are driving me crazy. Stop it." he said, he was breathing heavily and his eyes glinted with passion, now my breath got.
Wow I didn't even want to think about what I did next. But I kissed him. I. kissed. Derek. That didn't make any sense but before I could think too much the vision blurred and shifted. It didn't feel like a dream at all, it felt ...real.
I was on a bed, my hair was sticky and Derek was holding my hand tightly.
"It'll be fine Chloe." He said his voice a strange calm, but still ...anxious. Then Simon was sitting in a corner behind me with his eyes closed, and he looked green.
"You better hope so Derek or I swear I really will kill you." I said anger very plain in my voice. Derek laughed and squeezed my hand more tightly.
Then I let out a horrible scream and everyone flinched.
"It's okay doing great." I heard Tori say. I gaped when I saw her. She was pregnant, not too far but big enough to notice. Then everything came into a bigger focus. I was giving birth. To a baby. Oh god.
I let out another scream and started crying.
"It's fine Chloe."
"You did this. I hate you!!!" I screamed at Derek. Wow there. Derek did this? I suddenly felt nauseous.
"Love you too." He said stunning me. Then I saw my hand clutching his making it a startling white. A diamond ring on my left hand and he had one too. We were married. I let out one more scream and then Tori gasped.
"It's a girl. Oh god." The baby started crying and to my surprise she handed her to Derek.
"Cassey." I whispered, Derek looked to me in surprise.
"So much for Nathan." he said as if we had been thinking it was a boy the whole time.
Simon came over now that the worst was over and slid his hands around Tori's waist.
"I love you" he whispered into her ear. She smiled and leaned into his arms. Tori had a ring too. I noticed something else, we were all older. Derek had no acne, my hair was blond again and Simon and Tori were more mature looking and Tor's hair was longer. We were at least 20 years old.
"CHLOE?"
I jerked awake and looked into the eyes of Derek, Simon, and Tori.
"What was that?" Derek asked shock all over his face.
I felt tears pouring down my face, and I cleared my throat.
"Nothing." I whispered, and ran from the room. I was grateful no one followed, at least at first.
"Chloe." Of course it was Derek. It was always Derek
"I'm guessing I talked in my sleep." I said softly. I felt numb, like I had lost something in my essential makeup.
"Yea, you do. But all I heard is that Tori married Simon and you had a baby and Tori was going to. I missed the beginning." He said. I sighed in defeat.
"I noticed you skipped over the part where we were married. Go figure. I don't know why I would dream something like that, any of it." I said confusion all over.
"Yea I guess. It wasn't important." That stung and he saw me flinch but I was pass hiding what I was feeling. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't understand why I was so vulnerable.
"Of course not." I didn't bother keeping the pain out of my voice.
"Chloe. Don't mess with me."He had a hopeful look before it fell and was replaced with hurt.
"I'm not playing Derek. We were married. You loved me. I loved you. And we had a baby. No point in denying it. But it wasn't real. Just a dream or a nightmare." He cringed.
"But that would never really happen, you know that."
"Why not?" I said turning to him and staring intensely.
"No one would ever feel that way about me, especially you." I gaped at him in disbelief, and then I got angry.
"I always thought you were smart, but you've never said anything so stupid." I said venom in my voice. He looked hurt but I could see that nothing I could say would make him change his mind.
"Why do I come with you every time you Change? Why am I even here? Why am I telling you this? Why do I talk to you at all and tell you things I don't tell anyone else?"I asked him a tear escaping my eyes.
"Because you're nice." he said, shock in his expression.
"No Derek because I trust you, because I love you. Is it so hard to believe? But it's not important so forget it. It's obvious that you don't see it that way. That you won't see it that way." I hissed and ran away.
I mean, I had never run like that in my life. I wanted to run back to him, but I wanted to never see him again at the same time. Two things impossible to compromise. My heartfelt hollow and I was angry for not realizing I loved him until now. I had been so blind, falling over my feet with Simon. Derek knew me better than Simon ever could. And before I knew it, I was sobbing. The most horrible sound, straight from the heart, a gut wrenching feeling. Derek might as well have been dead, and that thought just added to my sobs.
I don't know how long I sat there and cried. Maybe 15 minutes or maybe hours, but I heard footsteps behind me and then I was lifted to my feet. I knew it was Derek. He would have felt bad, but he couldn't make me feel better. He couldn't pretend he loved me no matter how much I wanted him to. He tilted my chin up and looked at me sadly. He saw the tears running down my face, and pain flashed in his green eyes. I always loved his eyes. He had a few flaws, but none of them were his fault, and they made him beautiful in my eyes. I started sobbing again and he pulled me closer, so I was sobbing on his chest. We sank to the ground, my sobs stronger than before basically was lying in his lap and soon enough drifted to sleep.
I thought the first dream was disturbing. I was wrong. This was even worse. I saw myself kicking Tori in the stomach harder than possible. She groaned and doubled over clutching herself. The images flickered, but one stood out the most. Derek, falling to his knees in pain, staring at me in horror. My expression was reflecting the pain and grief inside. In that moment I really thought I had killed him. In that moment it all clicked together. I loved him and now he was gone and I could never tell him. The dream wasn't disturbing anymore. It was my own personal hell.
Then I jerked awake.
"I've never seen anyone cry in their sleep." Derek's voice said. I whimpered in relief and realized I had fallen asleep in his arms. It was pitch black out.
"I was crying?" I asked, but my voice was hoarse coughed and cleared my throat and tried to climb out of his arms, but he kept me there.
"Yes you were crying. What did you see?" he asked. I hesitated than decided he already knew most of it anyway.
"I killed you. At least it I thought I did. It wasn't gross though. I just ripped your soul from your body. I was fighting with Tori and Simon and you walked out to see what was going on and you just fell to your knees. You were looking at me like it was my fault, and it was." I babbled, and gave more information than I meant to. Those words just made me sound pathetic.
Derek's pov
I didn't know what to believe. How could she love me? It wasn't possible, I shouldn't even consider it. But I was hoping. I loved her, I really did. I could never tell her, but there wasn't any other explanation for what I was feeling right now.
"Chloe. You know that would never happen." I said trying to stop her tears. I had never seen her cry. I didn't like it.
She pulled away from me and I let her go reluctantly.
"Chloe it's not a big problem. You haven't done anything." I said. I didn't want to see her tears, they hurt me to.
"That not why I'm crying Derek, did you not listen to a word I said back there?" she snapped but her eyes were filled with pain. A pain that I had caused. I stood up and she looked up to me.
I pulled her to her feet.
"This isn't you Chloe. You're stronger than this. You've never left anything bother you. Even when you're father put out articles in the paper. I know you wanted to go find him, but you didn't. You knew it would only make things worse. You're stronger than this." I said. I couldn't stand to see her this way.
"I've never had my heart broken Derek. How would you know if I was strong enough for this?" she said jerking away from my touch.
I didn't realize I was gaping at her.
"Come on. You're smart, did you think you could say you didn't love me and that it wouldn't hurt me?" she said looking amused but still angry and hurt.
"When did I say that, Chloe?" I asked her. Sure I hadn't said I loved her but I hadn't said I didn't either. I saw surprise and hope flash in her eyes but it vanished quickly, more hurt replacing it.
"Derek, don't play games. If you loved me you would have say so. You didn't, so you don't." she said softly. Her was voice regretful. I grabbed her hand and she looked at me warily. I was angry. How could she think this?
"Chloe you're smart too. You shouldn't be thinking that." I said my voice dangerously low. I needed to calm down. But she moved closer to me, getting angry herself.
"How would I know what you think and feel? I can't read your mind Derek!" she yelled accusingly. I growled.
"Don't pretend Chloe. You know more about me than Simon does. There are a bunch of reason why you should know what I think and feel."
She looked so furious I thought she would try and hit me, even though it would hurt her more than me. Instead, she kissed me. I didn't even see it coming, and I definitely didn't know why my hands pulled her closer and sighed as she wrapped her hands around my neck.
CHLOE'S POV
My hands slid around his neck and I felt myself hit a brick wall, but I was oblivious to the sting of it. I moaned a little as Derek pressed closer to me. His hands had wound around my waist and were squeaking hard enough to leave bruises. I was sure I would have many of them. Then he suddenly pulled away, he looked stunned. I felt the urge to laugh, but I figured he would get angry again. He was so shocked.
"I didn't think you believed me." I said slowly not wanting to make him angry, but I had anyway.
"Don't look at me like that." he snapped.
"Like what?" I asked confused.
"Like I'm a time bomb ready to explode." Wow nice metaphor. I laughed, and he growled again,then stiffened.
"Simon do you need something." Derek said. He was up against me, but we weren't kissing anymore. He pulled away from me and I disentangled myself from him.
"Sorry but Tori is freaking out, and locked herself away, and I doubt she'd talk to me. Maybe you could talk to her Chloe." He was speaking very strangely, like he was sure he had imagined what had happened. I was angry again.
"Don't act like you care about Tori, Simon. I know you could care less." I said started towards the front door but Simon stepped in front of me. I stared at him shocked.
"When did you start talking that way to me?" he asked.
"When I saw how much you hated her. You're nice to me Simon, but your horrible to her." He looked shocked and hurt, but anger also flashed in his eyes.
"Whatever, Chloe." I stalked away, but it was easy to overhear them argue.
"Derek....you can't possibly like her!?" Simon said. Derek remained completely silent.
"Why were you kissing her than?" Simon yelled.
Derek growled.
"She kissed me. I wasn't just going to slap her around like you do with all the girls Simon. I haven't forgotten Hayley and Nicole."
Simon slaps girls around? I always got the clingy stalker vibe from him; I just couldn't place it until now.
"You didn't look like you minded feeling her up." Simon said.
"Shut up Simon. Just because she hasn't let you in her pants doesn't mean you can blame it on me. Take it out on a wall or something." Derek said.
"How do you know I haven't? She is playing you Derek. Don't fall for it." Simon said. I wanted to go slap him senseless for telling these lies.
"I never do Simon. Leave it, the only reason I talk to her is because she's nice." Derek's footsteps rounded the corner and he was right behind me.
"Is that what he was after? He just wanted to get in my pants? As you so nicely put it." I sneered.
"Yep. Aren't you supposed to be talking to Tori?" I glared at him.
"I will later. she wants to think, right now I think I'll go kill Simon." I said moving towards the alley way, but he caught my shoulders stopped me.
"That's illegal." he said with a smirk.
"So is slapping girls around and paralyzing guys. I'll join the club of delinquents." I hissed. He dropped my shoulders liked they had burned him.
"Fine, go kill him." He said and started to pull away but I grabbed his hand.
"You think I shouldn't? I think I know what's going on. How many of Simon girls came running to you?" Derek closed his eyes and tried to pull away, but I just kept moving closer.
"About half? Maybe all of them? Some girls just can't resist messing up family."
"You would know that from experience." Derek growled.
"Indirectly. My friends......loved screwing brothers. It was practically a sport." I bluffed, but I was to infuriated with anger to care.
"But you don't? Likely story, all Simon girls came to me for help." he stated clearly.
"Help with what?" I said teasingly.
"Their perspective on life. I convinced every one of them not to tell. And we kept moving away."
"Simon's a rapist isn't he?" I whispered.
"No. He just loses his temper. it's the magic I think. He's never seriously hurt any of them." but I could hear the lie in that.
"That's better, and he's never getting in my pants." I said trying to pretend none of this bothered me at all.
"Sure tell me that in a few days." I pressed closer against him, so I could see him better.
"I think I'll be busy." I said
"Really doing what?"
"You probably." Simon's voice cut in. I rolled my eyes and pulled Derek into the house. Derek's hand wasn't responsive, but I wasn't taking no for an answer.
"Derek." I said in a venomous voice. He didn't resist.
"She is possessive, isn't she?" Simon stage-whispered to Derek.
I hissed and pulled Derek further into the room.
"Good night, Simon." I said without meaning them. He could tell that and glared at Derek.
"you gonna choose a girl over me? your own brother? and for her?!" Simon asked.
My hand loosened on Derek's. He would never choose me over Simon. Never. Derek shot me a look. I'm sure pain and fear twisted through my expression. Simon just looked smug. Derek's hand slipped from mine and he stepped away. He caught my eye and flinched at what they held. I never realized just how much it would hurt to have him willingly reject me. Give me up. To know I wasn't good enough for him, it caused me a pain I was not ready for. It left all my defenses down and Simon and Derek could plainly see what it did to me. How much it hurt. I backed away numbly, almost blindly. I felt a wall hit me and I slid down it, clutching my torso tightly to try and close the whole being punched throw my chest. I couldn't bare their stares but I couldn't find the muscles to close my eyes. I stared at Derek, memorizing his face. He looked panicked and that triggered a response from me.
Was someone using magi on me? This couldn't possibly be a normal reaction for being rejected.
"I'm fine." I sounded detached and the words were separated strangely. Derek walked toward me and I flinched as he knelt down to my level.
"What's wrong Chloe?" I just stared at him, his face, and his eyes. How did I ever think he was nasty and horrible? I loved him more than I had any right to. I didn't deserve his concern. He was better than me, and I wasn't good enough for him.
"I fine." I repeated looked for Simon. He stood staring at my face, in horror.
"Simon." I said he came closer. When he knelt down next to Derek I locked eyes with him.
"Why can't you share?" my words sounded as before ....distant from each other....separate like they didn't want to form the sentence. Simon paled. Something was wrong with me. I should be worried about Tori, and how we were going to stay safe. Not about this pointless feeling.
"I can Chloe. I can." he promised.
"But it's too late. You didn't share when it mattered the most. It doesn't anymore." My voice sounded dead even to me. I had no idea this would happen. Derek helped me to my feet, his touch sending pointless, hopeless shivers of pleasure through me. I jerked away from his touch falling into Simon. He threw me back into Derek and I didn't have the strength to pull away.