Dogma 2:Azrael's Revenge
Written By: William R. Webb The 3rd
Note: I have Shortened Bethany's Name to Beth.
We see the News reporter Grant Hicks say: "well it seems that I am here on location at
Los Angeles. Were a radical Female Minister has presented a new version of the Bible with many changes.
Among these changes are that God is a woman, there was a black apostle named Rufus,
that the virgin marry wasn't a virgin after the birth of Christ and that Christ was black.
With these changes the Catholic Church And other Christian groups have said they have
no comment at this time on this radical new minister. Well I'm Grant Hicks and this is
the news." As this is said then we see the main title.
It was a normal day and Beth was strolling her baby Cindy when a man goes up to Beth.
"Go to the Saint Joan's Church." As the mysterious man goes away Beth then thinks if
this has anything to do with her experience exactly one year ago when her whole life
had changed by stopping two renegade angels Bartleby and Loki. But then she shrugged
it off and thought to just go.
So she went to the Church and surprisingly was opened on a Saturday. So she went .
in parked Cindy's stroller close to the door and carried Cindy further off to the Pew.
There she saw a Black man who could pass for Samuel L. Jackson in his thirties accept
he had long hair and a long beard along with wearing some type of sheets as cloths.
"You finally made it here Beth. You see the man who told you to come here was an angel and I am Jesus."
As in this is said Beth is in shock. "You see Beth I resurrected myself just like Rufus so I could
help you. You see after what happened as you now know a Female Minister has made an accurate version of the
Bible it seems that Satan has sent Azrael with Bartlebey to kill this Minister we are to stop them from
doing so." Then Beth says: "I have only two questions. One is this the apocalypse because if I am right
isn't that the only time your suppose to go to earth and two didn't Bob kill Azrael."
Then Christ says: "On both accounts no. On you fear of the Apocalypse it will only happen if I come after Gabriel blows
his horn and I appear. As for Azrael if you do beat down a Demon with an instrument of God they just go back to Hell."
As this is told Beth says: "So what does this exactly mean?" Then Christ says: "I thought you only had two questions."
"I only thought..." "I'm not judging you Beth. Anyway the agenda is that we go to Los Angeles you see Coming out of
hell is hard be cause of how my well mother father well made it hard so Azrael and Bartleby will be there around the
same time as us. One there is also another thing you Know Jay and Silent Bob well they're coming with us." Then Jay
And Silent Bob came out as this happens Jay Says: "This guy who says he's like Fuckin' Jesus will pay us to go.
Any way that thing about Azrael reminds me that after the original Star Wars Darth Vader was thought to be killed
in the battle Yavin but was really alive." As that talk ends they go on their journey.
Mean while Azrael and Bartleby were talking on there way to the Bus Station. "Now Azrael Could you explaine why
do we have to do this?" "Well it seems Satan has givin us a chance not TO GET GRILLED IN HELL and be one of his
many adcisers." "So why is this so big?" "If I told you then the mission would be over like a snap and we would go
back start to hell." Then we se them go into the Bus Station.
The five of them Beth, Cindy, Jesus, Jay, and Silent Bob were all in Beth's new car. "Yo Jusus can i put on some tunes?"
"Sure thing Prophet Jay." jay puts in the CD then Nine Inch Nails song Mr.Self Distruct goes on. Then Silent Bob says:
"Your Going to wake the baby turn it down!" Then the baby wakes up and Jesus puts on The Red Hot Chilli Pepper's Cover
of Roller Coaster. Then the baby calms down and laughs plays around. Then Jesus says: "well you know when I feel down
i put on the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on or AC/DC." "No way jesus is into Rock and Metal." "Yes jay I am into some but i
really injoy old bands to like The Beatles, The Who, Jimi Hengrix, and that great old metal band Led Zepplin." Then as
jay and Jesus are talking we go staight to scene were Azrael is argueing with the woman who is selling tickets.
"what do you mean your sold out no Fucking way this booth has only been open
for two minutes." "Well sir don't hasle me a man just came here bought them all and left." "What did this person look like?"
"well if i am correct he wore a shirt that said I Love Skee Ball." Then Azrael Says: "Why god how do you know?" Then Bartleby
says: "What the fuck have you been keeping from me!" "If you know were both fucked so just stop bitching."
We then see the car go into a motel were Jay, Silent Bob and Jesus go into there room. "Ok now how are we going to do this?"
As Jesus then Silent Bob speaks into Jay's ear and Jay says: "The Tubby Bitch says that we sleep on the beds and he will sleep standing up."
"I geuss if that is totaly ok with you Bob." As Jesus says this Silent Bob nods his head yes.
That night we see a montage of were Azrael stealing peoples' money. Then we see Azraeel and Bartleby buying tickets at a cheap airport.
The next morning they go off in the car and Jay sees something. "Yo guys we got to go see marilyn Manson in concert." Then Jesus says: "Well since we are several miles ahead of were we should be ok." Then they turn in to were the concert is being held.
When they get into the parking lot Beth says: "I'll sit this one out with Cindy, ok?" "Yeah lets go Jay and Bob." They go off get the tickets and go into the crowd. They are having the time of there life when Marilyn Manson thinks that Jesus is making a statment by dressing like him so he has him come up. "Yo Jay, Bob should I go up." "Yeah go up and sing with th cool cross dressing fuck (Jay means this in the most respectable way)." Jesus goes up and starts singing the Marilyn Manson song godeatgod (whats funny about this is if you haven't heard the song its about Manson asking God his limitations). So after that they go out to eat.
While they are out eat they see some one familiar The Metatron. "And why are you here sir." "Well sir son of are only Lord i'm here to inform you." Then Beth says: "What type of information?" "Well its about Azrael And Barleby. You see the story is this: Statan wants Jesus on earth so heaven is weak and easy to take over. So this has just been a huge distraction and it gets woarse. It seems the two (refering to Barteby and Azrael) are all most to Los Angeles because they have taken a plane I highly advise you to do the same."
"Do you want me to..?" "Yes Jesus replacate money." Then Jay says: "You can make money?" "Yes he can. If you think he could make water into wine that he could make money out of thin air and i mean that way sell the wine." "But Metatrone why can't i just go home." "Because Jesus this is your porpuse to help man kond and this is part of it." "Selling wine?" "You just have to make let Jay and Silent Bob sell it." So they did and they went got tickets got on the flight.
While this is happening all happening Bartleby and Azrael are next to a really distcusting person.
Anyway several hours latter both planes land at the same airport (what a coincidence) each group see each other and run (wich is becomeing hard because she has Cindy in her hands) they both go then they both get into two taxis while one of each group says: "To the St. Rufus Curch." Then both taxis get to the Curch at the same time and: "Barleby you get the Christ Bitch and i'll kill that Minister Bitch." "No Azrael I don't care what happens this is too fucked up and I see it now I at one time was also." The two start fighting and Jesus says: "Jay, Bob go take care of Beth, Cindy, and the Miss Minister." "Kay Man...Wait you mean the Minister were suppose protect is a broad snoogens." "Just go." Jay and Silent Bob go to help well the three Jesus already mentioned.
"Come on beth lets get the minister." They go up and see a Blonde woman with short hair, slender, and Perky breast with a medium size bust. "Shit they didn't tell me that you were one hot bitch." The woman looks at Jay in discuss. But then Jay starts talking some what like what a child sounds like when he wants to go out with a person. "What i meant to say is that I'm Jay an over there is my hetro life-mate Silent Bob and over there is Beth with her baby girl Cindy. Whats your?" She Replies: "Joyce, Joyce Haliway." "Hi joyce anyway lets be together i mean lets get out of here before someone gets hurt."And so they do.
While in the fight. "Bartleby you have no power and i used mine up a while back on turning water into wine." Then Bartleby says: "What do we do?" "Well Bartleby i'll get Loki out of hell." As Christ says this then he goes back to heaven (because he used up all his power) and Loki appears with a cross. "Hey nice seeing you Bartleby lets do this!" "Yeah" With them both holding the huge cross they smash it into Azrael and he goes back to hell. Then the Metatron apears. "Bartleby, Loki God has decreed that because of your bravery your going to heaven."
So they go up and Jay is watching this as he is Talking to joyce and sees them. "I got hit the habit." "What habit Jay sweety?" Joyce asks Jay. "Nothing Joyce nothing."
several minutes later jay is talking to beth. "Well Beth this is the end of the road me and Silent Bob are gonna live here. You see even though its been a small time me and Minister Hailiway and I have some thing special." Then Beth says: "Good then your out of my life for good." Then the camera backs away end to credits.
The End
Written By: William R. Webb The 3rd
Note: I have Shortened Bethany's Name to Beth.
We see the News reporter Grant Hicks say: "well it seems that I am here on location at
Los Angeles. Were a radical Female Minister has presented a new version of the Bible with many changes.
Among these changes are that God is a woman, there was a black apostle named Rufus,
that the virgin marry wasn't a virgin after the birth of Christ and that Christ was black.
With these changes the Catholic Church And other Christian groups have said they have
no comment at this time on this radical new minister. Well I'm Grant Hicks and this is
the news." As this is said then we see the main title.
It was a normal day and Beth was strolling her baby Cindy when a man goes up to Beth.
"Go to the Saint Joan's Church." As the mysterious man goes away Beth then thinks if
this has anything to do with her experience exactly one year ago when her whole life
had changed by stopping two renegade angels Bartleby and Loki. But then she shrugged
it off and thought to just go.
So she went to the Church and surprisingly was opened on a Saturday. So she went .
in parked Cindy's stroller close to the door and carried Cindy further off to the Pew.
There she saw a Black man who could pass for Samuel L. Jackson in his thirties accept
he had long hair and a long beard along with wearing some type of sheets as cloths.
"You finally made it here Beth. You see the man who told you to come here was an angel and I am Jesus."
As in this is said Beth is in shock. "You see Beth I resurrected myself just like Rufus so I could
help you. You see after what happened as you now know a Female Minister has made an accurate version of the
Bible it seems that Satan has sent Azrael with Bartlebey to kill this Minister we are to stop them from
doing so." Then Beth says: "I have only two questions. One is this the apocalypse because if I am right
isn't that the only time your suppose to go to earth and two didn't Bob kill Azrael."
Then Christ says: "On both accounts no. On you fear of the Apocalypse it will only happen if I come after Gabriel blows
his horn and I appear. As for Azrael if you do beat down a Demon with an instrument of God they just go back to Hell."
As this is told Beth says: "So what does this exactly mean?" Then Christ says: "I thought you only had two questions."
"I only thought..." "I'm not judging you Beth. Anyway the agenda is that we go to Los Angeles you see Coming out of
hell is hard be cause of how my well mother father well made it hard so Azrael and Bartleby will be there around the
same time as us. One there is also another thing you Know Jay and Silent Bob well they're coming with us." Then Jay
And Silent Bob came out as this happens Jay Says: "This guy who says he's like Fuckin' Jesus will pay us to go.
Any way that thing about Azrael reminds me that after the original Star Wars Darth Vader was thought to be killed
in the battle Yavin but was really alive." As that talk ends they go on their journey.
Mean while Azrael and Bartleby were talking on there way to the Bus Station. "Now Azrael Could you explaine why
do we have to do this?" "Well it seems Satan has givin us a chance not TO GET GRILLED IN HELL and be one of his
many adcisers." "So why is this so big?" "If I told you then the mission would be over like a snap and we would go
back start to hell." Then we se them go into the Bus Station.
The five of them Beth, Cindy, Jesus, Jay, and Silent Bob were all in Beth's new car. "Yo Jusus can i put on some tunes?"
"Sure thing Prophet Jay." jay puts in the CD then Nine Inch Nails song Mr.Self Distruct goes on. Then Silent Bob says:
"Your Going to wake the baby turn it down!" Then the baby wakes up and Jesus puts on The Red Hot Chilli Pepper's Cover
of Roller Coaster. Then the baby calms down and laughs plays around. Then Jesus says: "well you know when I feel down
i put on the Red Hot Chilli Peppers on or AC/DC." "No way jesus is into Rock and Metal." "Yes jay I am into some but i
really injoy old bands to like The Beatles, The Who, Jimi Hengrix, and that great old metal band Led Zepplin." Then as
jay and Jesus are talking we go staight to scene were Azrael is argueing with the woman who is selling tickets.
"what do you mean your sold out no Fucking way this booth has only been open
for two minutes." "Well sir don't hasle me a man just came here bought them all and left." "What did this person look like?"
"well if i am correct he wore a shirt that said I Love Skee Ball." Then Azrael Says: "Why god how do you know?" Then Bartleby
says: "What the fuck have you been keeping from me!" "If you know were both fucked so just stop bitching."
We then see the car go into a motel were Jay, Silent Bob and Jesus go into there room. "Ok now how are we going to do this?"
As Jesus then Silent Bob speaks into Jay's ear and Jay says: "The Tubby Bitch says that we sleep on the beds and he will sleep standing up."
"I geuss if that is totaly ok with you Bob." As Jesus says this Silent Bob nods his head yes.
That night we see a montage of were Azrael stealing peoples' money. Then we see Azraeel and Bartleby buying tickets at a cheap airport.
The next morning they go off in the car and Jay sees something. "Yo guys we got to go see marilyn Manson in concert." Then Jesus says: "Well since we are several miles ahead of were we should be ok." Then they turn in to were the concert is being held.
When they get into the parking lot Beth says: "I'll sit this one out with Cindy, ok?" "Yeah lets go Jay and Bob." They go off get the tickets and go into the crowd. They are having the time of there life when Marilyn Manson thinks that Jesus is making a statment by dressing like him so he has him come up. "Yo Jay, Bob should I go up." "Yeah go up and sing with th cool cross dressing fuck (Jay means this in the most respectable way)." Jesus goes up and starts singing the Marilyn Manson song godeatgod (whats funny about this is if you haven't heard the song its about Manson asking God his limitations). So after that they go out to eat.
While they are out eat they see some one familiar The Metatron. "And why are you here sir." "Well sir son of are only Lord i'm here to inform you." Then Beth says: "What type of information?" "Well its about Azrael And Barleby. You see the story is this: Statan wants Jesus on earth so heaven is weak and easy to take over. So this has just been a huge distraction and it gets woarse. It seems the two (refering to Barteby and Azrael) are all most to Los Angeles because they have taken a plane I highly advise you to do the same."
"Do you want me to..?" "Yes Jesus replacate money." Then Jay says: "You can make money?" "Yes he can. If you think he could make water into wine that he could make money out of thin air and i mean that way sell the wine." "But Metatrone why can't i just go home." "Because Jesus this is your porpuse to help man kond and this is part of it." "Selling wine?" "You just have to make let Jay and Silent Bob sell it." So they did and they went got tickets got on the flight.
While this is happening all happening Bartleby and Azrael are next to a really distcusting person.
Anyway several hours latter both planes land at the same airport (what a coincidence) each group see each other and run (wich is becomeing hard because she has Cindy in her hands) they both go then they both get into two taxis while one of each group says: "To the St. Rufus Curch." Then both taxis get to the Curch at the same time and: "Barleby you get the Christ Bitch and i'll kill that Minister Bitch." "No Azrael I don't care what happens this is too fucked up and I see it now I at one time was also." The two start fighting and Jesus says: "Jay, Bob go take care of Beth, Cindy, and the Miss Minister." "Kay Man...Wait you mean the Minister were suppose protect is a broad snoogens." "Just go." Jay and Silent Bob go to help well the three Jesus already mentioned.
"Come on beth lets get the minister." They go up and see a Blonde woman with short hair, slender, and Perky breast with a medium size bust. "Shit they didn't tell me that you were one hot bitch." The woman looks at Jay in discuss. But then Jay starts talking some what like what a child sounds like when he wants to go out with a person. "What i meant to say is that I'm Jay an over there is my hetro life-mate Silent Bob and over there is Beth with her baby girl Cindy. Whats your?" She Replies: "Joyce, Joyce Haliway." "Hi joyce anyway lets be together i mean lets get out of here before someone gets hurt."And so they do.
While in the fight. "Bartleby you have no power and i used mine up a while back on turning water into wine." Then Bartleby says: "What do we do?" "Well Bartleby i'll get Loki out of hell." As Christ says this then he goes back to heaven (because he used up all his power) and Loki appears with a cross. "Hey nice seeing you Bartleby lets do this!" "Yeah" With them both holding the huge cross they smash it into Azrael and he goes back to hell. Then the Metatron apears. "Bartleby, Loki God has decreed that because of your bravery your going to heaven."
So they go up and Jay is watching this as he is Talking to joyce and sees them. "I got hit the habit." "What habit Jay sweety?" Joyce asks Jay. "Nothing Joyce nothing."
several minutes later jay is talking to beth. "Well Beth this is the end of the road me and Silent Bob are gonna live here. You see even though its been a small time me and Minister Hailiway and I have some thing special." Then Beth says: "Good then your out of my life for good." Then the camera backs away end to credits.
The End