I absolutely adore Lorde and I love her new album Melodrama. This fic is based on the album with each little section thing based on a song. The heading above each section is a quote from the song that it's based on.
Hope you like it!
Their romance is a whirlwind of emotions. It's surprise and happiness and lust and confusion. It makes her think about what a relationship actually is, what it's supposed to be.
It's everything she ever thought she didn't need and everything she thought she wanted.
/ I thought you said you'd always be in love, but you're not in love no more /
Adelaide is the one that leaves.
It's not sudden, both of them saw it coming. They saw everything fall apart.
Everythings that was perfect and special about what they had is gone. It's toxic. Nothing's like how it was then.
At the start.
/ Ain't a pill that could touch our rush /
Everything about their relationship is sudden.
It's a rush that Adelaide's not used too, a pummeling of emotions that she slowly becomes addicted to.
Everything's new and exciting and spontaneous.
And, as much as she likes to pretend otherwise, she's suddenly dependant upon Daisy and everything she makes her feel.
She's knows it's not forever, but she doesn't like to think about that part.
/ Let's let things come out of the woodwork I'll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies /
They love to talk about what they hate. About everything that's wrong with the world.
It's where they have the most similarities, it's where they agree.
And that should be a warning, a red flag. But, even if she does notice it, she pretends like she doesn't.
Adelaide's determined to make this work for as long as possible.
And so together, they hate.
/ A rush at the beginning, I get caught up, just for a minute /
At the start, everything seems perfect.
They're high off of one another, off of their emotions.
The relationship doesn't yet reak of delusion, or destined to fail. They're still young, and happy and it's all beginning.
Together, they decide that everything is perfect, and they don't yet look forward. They stay in the moment. They stay together.
This is the part where Adelaide loses herself to the feeling, the part where she ignores the feeling that someday it will all come to an end.
She let's herself be everything Daisy wants.
And that helps.
/ Get you wild, make you leave /
The sudden sobriety, the shock of it all, even though she knew it was going to happen, makes her blame it all on herself.
They're not together because she was too much to handle. She couldn't hold it together, she couldn't be what Daisy needed.
And all around her, people seem to be disappearing. She can't remember the last time she talked to Rory, or Chase.
She blames that on herself, on the fact that everything about her screams inconvenience.
This, at least, is what she tells herself.
/ Cause I remember the rush, when forever was us /
When she leaves, it takes her moment to fully realize, to accept, that it's over.
She looks back, once, at Daisy's apartment, at her window, and stares, for a prolonged moment, at what was and what could have been.
And for a little while, she hates Daisy. On the way back to her own apartment, to own life, she hates her. She hates how they parted, and how they acted.
She hates it all.
But then, slowly, she lets it all go.
And she learns to love herself.
/ We're L.O.V.E.L.E.S.S Generation /
She thinks to herself a lot, how does this happen, how did they ruin it, love.
It's not meant to be ruined, but they did it.
She gives herself a pat on the back.
/ Lights are on and they've gone home, but who am I? /
When it begins, everything is wild and exciting. She needs a moment to think about it all. To avoid the idea that it will end.
She tries to clear her mind, to figure everything out, so that later, when it catches up to itself, she can look back.
This isn't where it went wrong, this is where she denied that it ever would.
She knows that.
/ But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power, I'll find a way to be without you babe /
She knows how she's going to move on as soon as it starts to fall apart.
She knows how she will make her point, how she will say goodbye.
She very nearly apologises for doing this, for figuring out what to do, for being ahead, but that doesn't seem necessary. They both knew that Daisy was the better of the two, and now, because of that, it seems pointless to apologise.
Daisy will move on to be the someone for someone else, and Adelaide, as much as she wishes she wouldn't, will remember it all.
And some nights, when she needs a moment to herself, she replays it all.
/ In my head, I do everything right. When you call, I'll forgive and not fight /
Whenever she looks back, it always begins with the happiness, with the excitement, with the victories.
It's never the complete story, it's only the highlights, but, to her, it's the best part.
Because that's what it's meant to be.
It's a shallow, two dimensional look on a living, breathing relationship because it only shows the ups and never the downs.
It gives her everything she thought she needed from that relationship.
Adelaide realizes this and that's why she plays it first.
/ All of the dreams that get harder, All of the things that I offer you /
It takes her a little while to figure out that it's not only her fault. To realize that she needs to stop pushing people away.
She needs to rethink it all, to look back and see everything.
She needs to remember.
And when she does, it's suddenly not all her fault.
/ All of our heroes fading, Now I can't stand to be alone /
In the end, it all comes back to the rush. To the euphoric feeling and then it's end.
Nothing about her relationship with Daisy was perfect, it never was. Everything that it was made of, the hate, the experiences, all of it was, in some way, toxic to her.
It takes a lot to get her to realize this, but when she does, everything makes sense.
And that's nice.
/ All these nights spent off our faces, Trying to find these perfect places, What the fuck are perfect places anyway? /
I really hope you liked it! Sorry that it was a little intense and such.