A/N: I have been reading the Jedi Apprentice books by Jude Watson recently, which is what sparked the idea for this story. It's set between JA #13, where Obi-Wan is 14 years old, and JA #14, where Obi-Wan is sixteen. In this story, he's 16 but it's earlier in the year. Hope you enjoy! Please leave feedback, thank you!
Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Siri, and Adi Gallia walked down the ramp of their transport, as it docked at the Jedi temple on Coruscant. They had just completed a dangerous mission. With their combined skills, a planet had been saved from slipping into a civil war. The four Jedi were tired but relieved that they had kept the peace once again.
"We should get freshened up from our long journey," Qui-Gon suggested. He knew the group needed to attend to some minor injuries, clean up, and meditate about their experience before doing anything else.
"Then you and I can report on the outcome of our mission to the Council," Adi said. She was exhausted, too, but this was something they must do after every mission.
"Shall we say, two hours from now?"
"Fine by me. It was a pleasure working with you both again. Your connection to each other and the living Force is admirable and served us well on this mission." Adi said. She shook hands with Qui-Gon, a new gesture of thanks that the locals had taught them on their last mission. Then, she bowed genuinely to Obi-Wan.
"I should say the same of you, Master Adi," Obi-Wan nodded politely at her, looking into her eyes. It was the first time throughout the exchange that he had taken his eyes off Siri. She had radiated a glowing presence throughout this entire mission, something more than her ravishing beauty. She had even cooperated and listened to his ideas for a change.
"Siri." He extended his hand for her to shake, mimicking Adi's proper tone. Sixteen-year-old Obi-Wan was not partial to formalities. In fact, he had been known to disregard them altogether. He had only extended his hand to get a chance to touch hers. Her ice blue eyes exuded unexplainable warmth, and she reached out and returned the gesture. Her lithe, smooth fingers slid into his effortlessly. He memorized the sensation of her skin against his. Control yourself, Obi-Wan thought. What is wrong with me? He had never thought of Siri as much more than a lightsaber prodigy with teamwork issues. But this mission had changed all that.
"Obi-Wan." The sound of his own name made his ears go numb, upon hearing it in her voice. Her tone was not mocking or teasing. Is she finally beginning to trust me? Obi-Wan wondered. They had been through a lot together, and had even saved one another's lives multiple times on this mission.
"Come on, Siri, we best head back to our quarters." Adi and Siri left the landing platform and walked through the welcoming temple doors. Although they had spent the past week together, Obi-Wan thought that she was gone all too quickly.
"You did well, Padawan." Qui-Gon told his apprentice when they were alone.
Had his Master noticed? Was he complimenting Obi-Wan for his etiquette, or worse, for his…occupation…with Siri?
"This mission was quite challenging. But you kept cool and relied on your instincts. You are becoming more and more connected to the Living Force, my young apprentice."
Phew, thought Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was referring to the mission.
"Thank you, Master. Only by learning from your example." Obi-Wan smiled to himself. He was thankful and contented on two accounts. One, that Qui-Gon had bestowed on him such affirming words of praise, and two, that his master had not noticed the electric exchange with Siri.
"Oh, and you are also improving your ability at working cooperatively with other Padawans." The Jedi Master walked over to his apprentice, and playfully slapped him hard on the back. A little too hard, if you asked Obi-Wan.
Qui-Gon smirked knowingly. "Especially young Siri." He walked off, leaving Obi-Wan gaping on the landing platform.
"Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan alerted the green-skinned figure of his presence. The Jedi Master was sitting alone in his private meditation room.
"Obi-Wan! Returned, you have. Wonderful news, this is." Yoda beckoned him to sit down.
"Yes, Qui-Gon and Master Adi will report to you shortly. If I could have a moment of your time, I would like to talk to you about something," Obi-Wan said.
"Guide you, I can, if it is counsel you seek." Yoda replied.
He didn't know why he had come to Yoda. Although he was beginning to view Qui-Gon as a brotherly figure, he still could not talk openly with his master about such matters. His best friend Bant Eerin had been taken as a Padawan by the Jedi Knight Tahl, and they were now on a mission together. His other pal, Garen Muln, was also out of the system right now with his master, Clee Rhara. It seemed he had nowhere else to turn.
About to jump out of his skin, Obi-Wan came right out with it. "Why does the Jedi Code forbid attachments?"
Yoda paused for a beat. "Know the answer to this question, you do, Obi-Wan. Asking for another reason, you must be. This makes you unhappy, hm?"
"Well, I do know what the Code says, having learned it my entire life. Attachments with other beings divide a Jedi's focus. How can a Jedi focus wholeheartedly on the people he is helping if bound to another? This would compromise his duty as a guardian of the peace."
"Correct, this is." Yoda remarked. "And upset with this, you are?"
"Well, yes. I don't believe attachment would hinder a Jedi's ability to remain bound to the peacekeeping cause. It encourages compassion and devotion to a partnership. Wouldn't this benefit a Jedi's ability to identify with the beings he helps?"
"Wise and steadfast you have become, young Obi-Wan, even at such a young age," Yoda said evenly. "Perhaps a Jedi with as much prudence as yourself could handle attachment. Act so honorably, not many can. Become so dedicated to the partnership with another, beings have become. Abandoned the Jedi tenet of impartiality, they have."
Obi wan did not reply, but listened intently to his superior. He revered Yoda and wanted to soak up all of the knowledge in his near-900 year old body.
"Demanding and dangerous, the Jedi lifestyle is," Yoda continued. From planet to planet, Master and Padawan teams move. They are needed throughout the galaxy at a moment's notice. Strain bonds between beings, this would. Unfair to both parties would this arrangement be."
Although he believed Yoda had a good point, Obi-Wan's situation was different. He didn't know if he should take it up with Yoda, however, because that might make the Grand Master suspicious. Worse, would revealing his desire for attachment out loud make it all the more true?
"But what if both parties are Jedi?" There, he said it, in his own covert way. He had feelings for another Jedi.
"Committed, we all are, to the good of the galaxy. With attachment to another of the same order, hierarchy could arise. United, we are. Consider one member of the order to be above another, we must not." The ancient Jedi's tone remained patient.
Obi-Wan stared blankly ahead, still absorbing Yoda's wisdom. He was glad he had come.
"Thank you, Master Yoda, I appreciate your time," Obi-Wan rose to leave.
"Glad, I am that you are thinking and seeking out answers. Growing, you are, into a more skilled Jedi and a thoughtful man."
Taken aback by the compliment, Obi-Wan bowed deeply and exited the room. He stopped in the hallway and thought about all he had heard. He put his head and hands against the wall. The logical part of Obi-Wan agreed with Yoda's words. Yet, the boy in him found fault with something. Why did he have to be deprived of attachments for the sake of people who couldn't handle it? This seemed an unfair principle of the usually fair-minded Jedi Order.
He began to walk down the halls of the vast temple. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Siri walk from the washroom to her quarters, wearing only a towel. Quickly ducking out of sight, his heart began to beat faster. If he did love the girl, and he wasn't sure he did, he loved her in a different way than he loved the rest of his contemporaries, the rest of the Jedi. Not more than them, but just differently.
Obi-Wan sighed. Everything was becoming so complicated, but he could never give up his feelings or his questions. He decided to meditate more on Master Yoda's words of wisdom and hopefully find some clarity. He knew he would remember this day and these teachings for a long time to come. By Master Yoda's tone, he felt certain the attachment rule would never be amended. The question was: was he all right with that?