Slayers is the property of Kadokawa Shoten.


Blind Date



Filia smiled brightly as she stepped aboard the large cruise liner she had chosen to
take her vacation on. Lina had been right. She could use some rest and relaxation, and
this first class cruise seemed to be just the ticket.

She looked out at the ocean before her and let the wind whip through her blonde
hair. Yes, this is exactly what she needed. No stress. No duties to save the world.

No annoying, stuck-up, smart-ass, trickster priest Mazoku…

Yes, just what she needed.



Xellos boarded the cruise liner he had chosen for his vacation and smiled. This
wouldn't be so bad. At first he had been a little reluctant, but Zelas had all but ordered
him to take a vacation.

"Being the harbringer of evil and destruction can be very stressful," she had told
him. "Relax for a bit. Get some sun. Find a nice piece of ass and enjoy yourself!"

He wasn't quite sure about the third suggestion, but he thought the first two might be
nice, so he had arranged for a cruise. No traitors. No Shinzoku…

No uptight, holier-than-thou, naïve dragons…

He looked out at the ocean and sighed.

This was just what he needed.



Filia smiled as she walked down the corridor. She was reading the itinerary
pamphlet for the cruise and trying to decide what events she would want to attend.

"Let's see," she said to herself. "There's swimming, table tennis, the world buffet,
the luau on the main deck, dancing…"

She frowned slightly as she realized that many of the things on the itinerary were
designed for couples. Well…she could still have fun…

She walked past a maid who was busy dusting a portrait of Prince Phil. Suddenly,
the maid sneezed, and Filia ended up walking straight through a cloud of dust without
realizing it.

"Oh no!" she whimpered as her eyes began to itch. She stood against the wall and
reached up to her eyes, removing her contact lenses. "Oh, now I have to clean them again!"
she whimpered. She kicked herself mentally for not bringing another pair with her.

It was at that moment that someone came walking around the corner, rubbing at his
own eyes.

Xellos removed his contact lenses. "I think my optometrist must have given me the
wrong prescription," he mused, looking down at the tiny lenses.

He was so preoccupied with this that he ran right into Filia, who squeaked as she
fell to the floor, her contact lenses going flying. Xellos jumped in startlement and
accidentally dropped his own contacts.

"My contacts!" the two cried at once.

"Oh my!" Filia cried. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, my fault entirely," Xellos assured her. He reached down to help her up.

Filia took his hand, but then suddenly remembered that she still had to find her
contacts. Without thinking, she tried to pull away. Xellos, still holding her hand, was
caught off guard and fell to the floor, both of them landing in a heap.

*CRUNCH!*

"MY CONTACTS!" they both cried again.



"I feel like such a clod," Filia said sheepishly from her side of the table on the
poop deck. "Please, let me buy you lunch to make up for it."

Xellos waved the offer away. "No, please. It's quite all right. I should've been
paying more attention to where I was going. I'll buy *you* lunch."

"That really is too kind of you," Filia told him with a slight blush. (What a polite
young man,) she thought to herself. (And the way he talks…He sounds educated.) She
squinted, trying to make out his face, but couldn't.

"No, really, it's my pleasure," Xellos told her. (Such a polite young lady,) he
thought to himself. (And by the sound of her very cultured and intelligent.) He squinted,
trying to make out her face. All he could see, however, was the gold hair. (Oooh! A
blonde!)

They both realized at the same moment that they were squinting at one another.
They both blinked and laughed. Xellos sat back in his seat as the waitress appeared.

"Please, order whatever you like."

"I don't want you to waste your money," Filia told him.

Xellos chuckled. "Trust me, I've survived food bills that would make your lovely
head spin. You should've seen the group I used to travel with."

Filia giggled. "The people I used to accompany were total pigs as well." She
turned to the waitress. "I'll have a salad. Seyruun dressing, please, and tea."

"Make it two," Xellos said with a smile.

The waitress sauntered away, leaving them alone again. "So…" Filia began,
searching for clues to her knew lunch partner. "What brings you to a cruise such as this?"

"Vacation," Xellos answered. "I'm in a rather high stress profession," he told her
with a pout.

Filia frowned sympathetically. "I can relate. I'm a priestess."

"Really?" Xellos asked. "What a coincidence. I'm a priest."

"Really?!" Filia asked excitedly. "Perhaps we know some of the same people!"

"I doubt it," Xellos told her. "Let me just say that I'm a priest in a
very…er…small, exclusive, and rather unpopular order."

"Oh," Filia said, blinking in puzzlement. She decided to let it pass. The waitress
returned with their order, and they began to eat. Filia took small, bird-like bites, and was
delighted to see that her lunch date wasn't pigging out and eating like a wild animal
like…several other people she knew…

Xellos watched his lunch partner eat and was rather pleased that she ate like a
human being and not a ravenous wolf like some other humans he knew. He was beginning
to wonder about their race, to tell the truth. It was nice to see that some of them were
civilized. He squinted again and tried to make out her face. She almost sounded
familiar…

"Ladies and gentlemen!" a cruise director on the main deck called out, "In ten
minutes the complimentary dance lessons will begin on the main deck! All guests are
welcome to participate!"

"Dance lessons?" Xellos muttered.

"Couples only," Filia sighed. "I guess I'll just watch."

Xellos grinned and gambled. "Would you like to go down there and try it?"

Sure enough, the young lady blushed furiously and stammered. "I can't dance!" she
cried in embarrassment.

Xellos fed off her embarrassment and pushed it a little further. "That's why it's
dance *lessons*," he told her. "What? You don't want to dance with me?"

"Oh, it's not that!" Filia cried, waving her hands in front of her. "I'd love to dance
with you! I mean…That is…It…could be nice…" She blushed again and looked down at
the table.

He took in her feelings of embarrassment like a breath of fresh air. He stood up
and offered her his hand. "Then join me," he offered.



Filia giggled and squealed in delight as Xellos spun her around and dipped her.
Despite being a total clod herself, her dance partner had proven himself to be a rather
accomplished dancer.

The other dance students on the deck made room for them as Xellos whirled her
around the dance floor. Filia laughed out loud again as he twirled her. For some reason
she didn't feel very clumsy or awkward with him. It was if she'd known him for months.

(Funny, kind, cultured, a wonderful dancer,) Filia thought as she danced. (I wish I
could tell if he was handsome…)

(This woman is positively a delight,) Xellos thought. (It's nice spending time with
someone who wants you around and isn't trying to bash your head in with a mace all the
time.)

The two laughed as they walked off the dance floor. "I haven't had that much fun in
ages!" Filia told him.

"Well, I'm happy I could be of help," he told her.

"Excuse me, Sir, Madame," a young man no older than eighteen called out to them.
He was standing next to a small tent full of painting canvases and easels. "How would the
two of you like a memento of your vacation?" he asked. "For just a few gold pieces, I can
make a portrait of you to take home."

"That would be wonderful!" Filia told him, reaching into her purse. "Can you
make two?"

"Sure!"

"Please, my dear," Xellos said, reaching into his robes. "Let me."

"No, no, no!" Filia chastised him. "You paid for lunch. This is my treat!" She
handed the man a few gold pennies and let him lead them to an area of the railing.

"Now, this won't take long," he assured them. "I'll make a sketch and paint it later,
then deliver it to your state room." He looked at them for a moment. "Okay, Sir, if you'd
put your arm around the lady's shoulder."

Xellos moved closer and put his right arm around Filia's shoulder. The dragon
priestess blushed bright red.

"Now, smile, Miss," the man prompted her. Filia gave him an embarrassed smile.

"That's it. Now hold still."

It only took the man twenty minutes to do a sketch of them. When he was done, he
took down their room numbers and promised to deliver the finished copies that night.

"This has been such a wonderful day!" Filia told him as they walked along the
guard rail.

"I have to admit, I've not had so much fun in a long time," Xellos confessed. "It
must be the company." He smiled.

She blushed in embarrassment again, giving him a slight thrill as he fed on her
conflicting emotions.

"Would you join me for dinner tonight?" he asked seriously.

She smiled and nodded quickly.

"Unfortunately, I still have to unpack and take care of some other arrangements," he
told her with a sad frown. "Why don't we meet here at six?"

"Six sounds fine. I'll be here," she assured him.

He smiled. "Then I look forward to it."

Filia smiled and watched him walk off. She reached out, grabbed a cold drink
from the tray of a passing waitress and quickly poured it down the front of her dress with a
contented sigh in an effort to cool herself off.

(HIS NAME! YOU DIDN'T GET HIS NAME!) her mind suddenly screamed at
her. (HOW WILL YOU EVEN RECOGNIZE HIM?!)

Her eyes went wide as she realized all of this. "D'OH!" she cried, smacking
herself in the forehead.

(It won't be so bad. We're supposed to meet right here, after all at a certain time,
and he will surely recognize me…right?)

She just had to hope. She quickly dashed off to the ship's surgeon to see if he had
finished fashioning her new contacts.



Xellos was halfway to his cabin when he realized something.

(Her name. You didn't get her name.)

He sighed. "Yareyare."

(Well, perhaps she'll recognize you…) He shrugged and headed to his cabin. It
was a small boat. He shouldn't worry.



Filia adjusted her yellow dress for the thousandth time and checked the clock on the
nearby bulkhead. Almost six. Her new contact lenses fit perfectly, giving her excellent
vision again. This time she'd be able to see the man she was dancing with.

She giggled to herself. Oh, she was having so much fun.

Fun, that is, until she saw something that turned her stomach. She grimaced. Why
did *HE* always have to show up just when she was starting to enjoy herself?



Xellos adjusted the collar on his new suit and smiled. New contact lenses meant
he'd be able to get a glimpse of the polite young lady he'd be sharing the evening with.

He stopped and blinked when he saw someone he hadn't been expecting in a
million years standing near the railing. He growled. (Why does she have to show up just
when I was close to relaxing?) he thought. Well, it didn't matter. He wasn't about to let
some prissy dragon priestess ruin his date.

He walked up the railing and smiled. "Ah, Filia san!" he greeted jovially. "I
didn't know you were on this cruise too."

"Hmmph! Spare me the false happiness, namagomi," she sniffed. "And if you
would please keep going. I'm meeting someone here."

Xellos grinned and checked the clock. He still had a few minutes before she
arrived. He had time to pester his favorite dragon. "Oh? Have a hot date, do we?"

"THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" she cried.

"AH! So that *IS* it! Is the pious, innocent dragon looking to get lucky?!"

"You…You…YOU HORRIBLE NAMAGOMI!" she screamed. "You have no
idea what it's like to be a real gentleman! Now leave me alone! I'm on vacation!"

"I'm surprised you managed to find someone desperate enough to take you out,
that's all," Xellos told her innocently. "Cabin boy or barnacle scraper?"

Filia fumed for several seconds. "I'll have you know he's a priest, very refined,
highly intelligent, and treats me with RESPECT!"

Xellos reached out and started to lift the hem of Filia's dress with his staff. "So
does this mean you don't intend to put out for him?"

Filia screamed and brought her mace out, taking two quick swings at the trickster
priest. Xellos hopped back and smiled.

"Please, Filia san! I happen to have plans tonight that would be hampered by one
of your love taps."

"Hmmph! Hot date?" she asked acidly.

"As a matter of fact, I *am* meeting a young lady here," he told her. "She's like
you, only not a prude."

"You mean she's a slut," Filia said with a grin.

"Hardly," Xellos growled, coming to his date's defense without even realizing it.
"She happens to be a very congenial, cultured, and intelligent young lady."

"Slut," Filia announced with a laugh.

Xellos growled.

Before he could say anything, the painter came around the corner. "Ah! There you
are! I was on my way to deliver these but since you're right here…" He walked up to
them and handed them each a portrait. "Thanks for your business!" he said with a bow
before turning.

Filia and Xellos looked at their respective portraits, then looked at each other…

That's when part of the starboard bow blew up…



Filia whipped her paddle around and struck the ball again as hard as her rage
would allow. It came back a second later, and she hit it again, growling.

(Why?!) she cried silently. (I finally think I've met a nice man, and then *this*
happens! Why, God?! Why do you taunt me so?!)

On the other side of the ping pong table, Xellos was giving the ball his own angry
attack.

(Figures,) he growled to himself. (If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.)

"Hmmph!" Filia sniffed as she struck the ball again. "Filthy namagomi! I bet you
had a good laugh at my expense! Taking advantage of my poor eyesight like that!"

"Look who's talking," Xellos shot back, whacking the ball back at her. "I never
thought of you as sneaky before, but that was low, even for you!"

"Me?! I'm not the one who went around pretending to be something I wasn't!"

Not far from their table tennis match, crewmembers were still trying to repair the
damage their initial outburst had caused.

"Is that so?!" Xellos asked, knocking the ball back again. "So you weren't
pretending to be a charming young woman!?"

"I *AM* a charming young woman!" she cried out. "You're the one who was
pretending to be a nice guy!"

Xellos suddenly reached out and caught the ping pong ball in his hand. He turned
away and started to walk off. "Considering we're both here to relax, why don't you stay
on your side of the ship, and I'll stay on mine?"

"Fine!" she spat, and walked away.

Xellos shook his head. "Yareyare…"



Filia sat on her bed in her cabin and sniffled. Why did her vacation have to turn out
this way? She was having such fun, too…

She looked down at the painting, its edges burnt from the 'accident' before. She
was smiling in that picture, oblivious to the fact that a dirty, filthy, disgusting, horrible
Mazoku was standing right there.

How could she have been so blind?

She wiped a tear away.

"Blind dates suck!" she cried out.



Xellos stood at the guardrail and looked out at the ocean, glowering as if it were
the cause of his trouble.

"Stupid dragon," he muttered. "You'd think with her hating me so much she'd at
least know me by now."

He sighed. He *had* enjoyed himself…

"Blind dates suck," he murmured.



Filia sat down at the breakfast table and tensed and she heard *his* voice behind
her. Apparently, the waiters were seating them at adjacent tables, their backs to one
another. She sniffed and opened her menu.



Xellos sat down and ignored the blonde at his back. He was just here for breakfast,
nothing more. He opened his menu.



Silence.

Filia couldn't figure it out. Why wasn't he pestering her? Or laughing at her for
being able to trick her so easily yesterday? He should be living it up, taunting her.

She really did have fun yesterday.

She thought over the events that had occurred. Was it even possible that Xellos
could have set things up so perfectly that she'd walk right though that dust, have to clean
her contacts, and then rig things so that she'd lose them?

Sure, it was.

But how likely was it?

She blinked. Could he be…telling the truth?

Impossible! He was a Mazoku! Namagomi! Nothing more!

Then why wasn't he tormenting her?

That's it! He *WAS* tormenting her! It's all part of his plan. He sits there and
acts hurt, and she has thoughts like this! It was diabolical!

Wasn't it?

She sighed.



(What? No, "namagomi" today?) Xellos asked himself as he read over the menu.
No harangue about how evil and malicious he and his entire race were and how the entire
world would benefit from them being wiped from existence?

He sniffed in annoyance.

She was so stuck up, so conceited, so naïve, so…so…

He growled.

The waiter walked up to him just as a waitress walked up to Filia.

"I'll have the Carvalho Miso soup," they both said at once.

Both waiter and waitress looked to one another sheepishly. "There's only one
bowl left," they both told their respective customers.

Xellos and Filia looked to one another then sniffed and looked away.

"Go ahead and take it," Xellos told her.

"No, you can have it," Filia replied.

"I don't want it. Go ahead and eat it."

"I wasn't in the mood for soup anyway…"

The waiter and waitress sweatdropped.

"Change my order to toast," Xellos sighed. The waiter jotted it down and
practically fled from the table.

Filia looked over her shoulder and frowned. He was so quiet. She nodded to the
waitress who went to get her soup. She glanced back at Xellos. He was staring down at
his toast. The waitress returned a moment later with a bowl of soup.

She looked down at it and took a breath. She thought for a moment then stood up.
Taking the bowl in both hands she turned to his table and sat down, setting the bowl
between them.

Xellos looked up at her and blinked.

"We're…both mature…adults," Filia bit out quietly. "There's no reason we
couldn't….share…this."

Xellos was too shocked to speak. Without being asked, the waiter placed a bowl
in front of him.

"Mazoku…don't often share," he pointed out.

"They don't often dance either," Filia pointed out quietly.

"True," he replied. He watched as she poured half of her soup into the empty
bowl.

"Now," she said, almost scared, "Let's…try this again. Tell me about yourself."

Xellos took a sip of the soup and paused. For a moment, Filia thought he'd just
ignore her or taunt her some more…

"I was born five thousand, six hundred, and twenty three years ago," he began,
"Where I was raised as a vassal of Metallium…"

Filia sampled the soup and paid attention as Xellos continued with his story, not as
a priestess of the Ryuuzoku, but simply as a woman on vacation sharing breakfast with a
fellow traveller.

As it should have been to begin with.



Please send your hate mail to Davner at doscher009@hotmail.com

Thanks for reading! ^_^ \/

I got this idea from an episode of Love Hina. Two of the characters who hate each other
end up breaking their glasses and spending the day together on a date without realizing who
the other was. Apparently, it was somehow possible to not recognize each other's voices
and go an entire day without saying, "What's your name?"

I thought it was worthy of parody. ?