Part of him knew they were just hallucinations, but that part was buried beneath the weight of his brother, his mother, even himself pushing him in every direction. Sometimes he could move freely around Bobby's panic room; other times he found himself handcuffed to the bed, the need for demon blood the only thing keeping him company. Those were the moments he knew he was an addict going through withdrawal.
He pulled at the handcuffs in vein, knew he would be bruised when this was all over, but he kept struggling. The handcuffs rattled against the bedpost and the noise was grating to his sensitive ears.
"Sam," a familiar voice filled the room. Sam stopped struggling and looked up.
"Cas?" He looked over and realized the door to the panic room was open. Maybe Cas had come to let him go?
"I'm here, Sam." Cas pressed him palm against Sam's forehead. At first it looked as if he was trying to take Sam's temperature, but then his fingers spread and he grazed down the side of Sam's face with a feather-light, intimate touch.
"Castiel, what the hell-"
"Shh. I've got you, Sam."
It felt so real, the way Cas climbed on top of him and settled his legs on either side of Sam's hips, the bed sinking in around them. The way Cas dragged his hands up Sam's forearms, fingers playing with the handcuffs. He leaned forward and Sam couldn't take his eyes off Cas', couldn't ignore the way they seemed to darken with resolve.
"This isn't real, is it?" Sam whispered as Cas touched his face, his lips, rubbed a finger over Sam's bottom lip and let his eyes follow the motion.
"I've always found the way humans talk about 'reality' to be amusing. You can feel this, can't you?" Cas pushed his hips down and Sam grunted as Cas' erection pressed in to him.
"Y-yes."
"Then how could it possibly be fake?"
"It's not really happening...Cas..."
Cas' lips twitched as Sam tried to hold back his moans. Cas had started a slow, teasing gyration of his hips, making Sam impossibly hard. "Doesn't mean it isn't real," he breathed in Sam's ear before pressing their lips together.
Sam tugged on the handcuffs, desperately wanting to drag his fingers through Cas' hair, but they were too strong and Cas wasn't getting rid of them anytime soon. He moaned into the Angel's mouth, their tongues wet and needy against each other. Cas had his hands up Sam's shirt, smoothed over the contours of Sam's muscular chest, until on hand made its way up to Sam's nipple. Sam groaned as Cas let his fingers glide over Sam's nipple, his own sweat making the movement wet and enticing.
"Sam..." Cas was rocking his hips faster, though his cock was against Sam's abdomen this time. He pushed the trenchcoat out from under him and rubbed his ass against Sam's member, eyes fluttering closed at the new sensation.
"Want you in me, Sam. Is that what you want? Do you want me to fuck myself on your cock?"
Sam had a fleeting moment, a tiny second, where he remembered that this wasn't happening. His Cas would never say something like that. But that moment came and went fast when Cas started pulling his pants down.
"Yes, fuck, please Cas, please."
"Look at you," Cas laughed, and it sounded off to Sam's ears - not a real laugh, something more twisted than anything he had ever heard out of the angel. "Desperate to feel my ass around you, hm?"
"Oh god, oh god..."
"God isn't here right now, Sam. Just you and me. And what you did to me."
That made Sam's head snap up in confusion, eyes locking with Castiel's. Cas watched Sam as he dragged his boxers down his thighs and pulled his aching cock out. Cas' eyes fell down to the member in his hand and he gasped, pupils dilated.
"What do you - ahh, fuck - what do you mean, what I did to you?" Sam tried to think passed the hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him slowly, but it felt too good. Cas' lips twitched into that same odd, twisted smile that Sam had heard earlier as his thumb circled the head, smearing the bead of pre-come.
"I should hate you, Sam Winchester." Cas shifted and let his other hand knead Sam's balls. Sam tried to keep his head up, eyes on Cas, even as his body shock with need. "The boy with the demon blood. The boy who promised he would stop. I suppose all addicts say that, though."
Cas leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sam's ears, breathing hot air against his already warm skin that had him crawling, pulling on his restraints. "I should have killed you months ago."
As he pulled away Sam realized Cas' pants were gone. Guess angels can get away with that. Sam licked his lips, eyeing Cas' sizable erection, wondering how Cas would taste, how he would sound moaning as Sam sucked him off.
"But here I am," Cas lay his cock on top of Sam's and stroked them together, "ready to give myself to you. This is what you do, Sam."
It's not real, it's not real, it's not real.
"Holy shit!" Cas positioned himself above Sam's cock and dragged the tip over his asshole. Sam clung to the bed frame as he felt Cas' hole flutter over him, knew he would slip right in if Cas weren't preventing it. He hadn't realized how much he was sweating until now, his sweat easing the glide of his member.
"W-what do I do?"
Cas smirked, and it was impossible to ignore how terrible that smirk was, how it made Sam shiver with actual fear.
"You break everything you touch."
Cas sunk down in one quick motion, not giving Sam any time to feel the burning pain, the guilt, before pleasure coursed through his veins. Everything was hot and tight, and it should have been painful without any preparation but it wasn't.
Hallucination, remember?
"You make me want you so much, Sam," Cas muttered as he slowly started riding Sam's cock. Sam pulled on the handcuffs, pushed his legs up so he could just barely work his hips up to meet Cas' thrusts.
"Want to save you, protect you, keep you alive even when you're destroying everything. I shouldn't. I should kill you."
Cas leaned closer and slammed down, taking Sam completely in his ass, and Sam yelled out as Cas squeezed around him. He felt a hand pull his chin up and they were eye to eye, both sucking in air too fast.
"How does it feel knowing you soiled an angel?"
Cas placed both his hands on Sam's chest and began fucking himself fast and hard, grunting each time Sam's cock rubbed over his vessel's prostate.
"I didn't- uhhh...I didn't do that!"
A bark of laugh broke off quickly, replaced by a beautiful moan as Sam slotted his hips up and pushed right into Cas' sweet spot.
"Oh, but you did. Why else would I let you fuck me like this? 'Azazel's special child'."
"You chose to help us," Sam spat out. His head fell back and Cas rode him faster, a hand running over his own straining cock. The sound Cas' thighs slapping wetly against Sam's filled the air, made it hard to focus on Cas' words.
"But I never chose to let an abomination break the world. Yet here I am. You're so filthy you've dirtied everything you touch, including me. And now," Cas pulled on Sam's hair, earning him a gravelly moan, "I want to be damned with you."
"Let me go, please, let me go!" Sam yanked on the handcuffs but they wouldn't budge. He just needed to touch Cas, to hold him close and kiss him sweetly and let him know that he never meant for things to get this bad.
"No."
Between the tight ass surrounding his cock and the sight in front of him, pure little Castiel jerking himself off, jaw dropped and eyes glazed over with lust, Sam wouldn't last much longer.
"Fuck me, Sam, undo me!"
"Just let me touch you, please...please, Cas-"
He was cut off by Cas' lips against his, tongue forcing itself into him mouth. From this angle he could feel Cas' hand trapped between their bodies as he tried to keep stroking himself, his hips pushing up and down to suck in Sam's cock. Cas bit Sam's neck and whispered three words, three words that sent Sam over the edge in a heartbeat.
"I forgive you."
He came hard, screaming the angel's name as he filled his ass with come, only to hear an oddly high-pitched moan as warm liquid coated his stomach and Cas stuttered above him.
"Cas, Cas I never meant for it to be like this, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."
And just like that he was back in the empty room, fully dressed and thirsty for demon blood. He choked back tears and pulled on the restraints one last time before letting his sore muscles relax against the bed.
"I'm so sorry."
So apparently all I write now is smut. How did this happen to me? Remember when I used to be so embarrassed about writing smut? I blame tumblr. Now that I got this idea out of my head I'm off to write the two requests I received. Send me any fic ideas you might have and I'll see what I can do! And please review! Come on, it took me over an hour to write this damn fic, you can take one minute to write a review, yes?