Disclaimer: If I own Gundam Wing, then I wouldn't put Disclaimer in front of this sentence, right? Right.
A. N. An Accursed parody. This is the original plot of my angst fic 'Accursed'. At first, I planned to make it humorous but I changed my mind (obviously) and made it into angst. Now, I decided to pursue it's funny side ---in a demented way. Beware: character bashing. I think I'm going to get flames for this. Oh well.
For comments, suggestions, flames or reviews, you can email me at raizenheero@aol.com.
He stood in the shadows, waiting, his cold blue eyes focused on the massive structure ahead of him. He could hear no noise inside, only the soft voice of the priest administering the solemn ceremony. Nothing could be seen in his face, no emotion seemed to be present there. He remained there, like a statue, impassive, unmoving, as he patiently continued his silent vigil.
His trance-like gaze was interrupted when he saw a white limo pull over. As if on cue, two figures emerged from the church, followed by a steady stream of people. His face softened when his gaze settled on the golden-haired bride tossing the bouquet. She was beautiful. Remarkably, breathtakingly beautiful. Without doubt, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The soft expression on his face vanished just as quickly as it appeared, regaining its hardness, as he watched the groom with the long braid kissed her in front of the happy, cheering crowd. He turned and started walking away.
"I thought you love me," he muttered. "I thought you'll always love me. But you betrayed me, Relena. You and Duo betrayed me." All of a sudden, an explosion was heard. Everybody gasped, horrified. The white limo parked in front of the church exploded into flames! Even with all the commotion, he continued walking, never looking back even once. People passing by started giving him odd glances as he smiled, then chuckled, then laughed uncontrollably, almost maniacally. But he never paid any attention to them or to his immediate surroundings. He was trapped in his own world, being entertained by some private joke that was causing him to laugh that way.
He was still laughing hysterically that he didn't see the speeding truck coming at his right. It collided into him full force, sending him flying away. He stood up, unscathed, then brushed his clothes. The driver yelled at him. "HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, YOU PUNK!"
Heero gave him his famous (or infamous) Heero Yuy glare of death and continued on his way. As he walked, he started laughing that disturbing laugh of his again, causing him to miss seeing the open manhole in his path. Everybody was shocked when the laughing madman suddenly disappeared from view then emerged from the manhole after a few moments, dirty but unhurt. He glared at everyone who started snickering at him, pointing his gun at a few unlucky souls then started walking again in the direction of his motel, still laughing uncontrollably. He was climbing the stairs when all of a sudden he slipped and came stumbling down. Blackness swallowed him as his head hit the floor with a loud 'thwack'. Wide, vacant eyes stared at the ceiling, blood pouring forth his head. In his palm lay a silver, cylindrical object --- a detonation switch.
Heero opened his eyes. Why do I feel like I'm floating? He glanced down and saw his body sprawled on the ground, dead. Huh? I'm dead? How? He then saw the cause of his death. His blood boiled with the thought (I know he's dead but if he still has blood, it'll surely boil after realizing what killed him). "WHAT? A BANANA PEEL! I SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL AND DIED?!" he yelled, incredulously. "I, THE PERFECT SOLDIER, WHO KILLED THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH EASE, PILOTED THE WING ZERO AND MASTERED THE ZERO SYSTEM, WHO SURVIVED SELF-DETONATION, FALLING FROM THE 50TH FLOOR, PLUNGING INTO THE OCEAN AND BLASTING A FALLING DEBRIS WHILE IN REENTRY MET MY END THROUGH THIS HARMLESS, LITTLE BANANA PEEL! WHAT A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR DYING! IT'LL CERTAINLY RUIN MY TOUGH GUY IMAGE! INJUSTICE!" he seethed. (Wufei: Hey, that's my line! Heero: So? Wufei: You dont just use other characters' lines. That's stealing. They're patented you know. Heero: .... Wufei: Fine. Since you've used my line, I'll use yours then. Omae o korosu. Heero[points gun at Wufei's head]: Omae o korosu. Wufei[gulps]: Hehe. Injustice?) He then regained composure and smirked. "No matter. I don't fear death. I welcome death anytime. At least I managed to have my revenge on the two persons who betrayed me." He floated away, satisfied.
A few moments ago at the church…
Duo helped Relena stand up. The newlyweds watched the burning white limo in front of them with horrid fascination. Their reverie was interrupted when they heard a honking sound. Duo turned and smiled at Relena. "There's our ride." He then carried her in the direction of a white limo, their entourage happy and relieved that the burned limo was not the bridal car. Duo kissed her once again before going inside the car. It then sped away.
Apparently, our beloved Perfect Soldier rigged the wrong limo. May his turmoiled soul rest in peace.