(( A/N: A cute little excerpt from one of my bigger stories im writing. Ah the things Severus does when noone is looking lol This story is to me rather cute and funny, but maybe thats just me. The basics of it is this, Severus and Candis (former student, now potions professor, embodyment of snarkiness as much as he is) are in a pensieve reviewing memories. Here's one of em with funneh commentary by the pair, where Snape makes a new friend. The snake's thoughts will be in double parenthesis. Review and I shall love you always

Disclaimer: -- I believe the word alone sais it all. Candis however is my own, so I do indeed claim her ))

The scene around them warped again, flashes of imagery showing random pictures from the time between then and the intended occurrence as Candis yet again pressed the fast forward button on her magical remote control. The scene froze.

Humidity hung thick in the warm summer air. Though it was after dark, it was still uncomfortably muggy and hot for that time of year. The leaves on the trees around them had turned multicolored as early autumn had fallen over the dark forest, the leaves having changed color early due to the drought that had befallen Scottland in Candis's second year. The pair stood in the middle of a path that looked to have been carved out of the foliage by the herd of centaurs, their hoof prints set in the cracked dry ground. The scene twinkled with the lights of fireflies and played host to an orchestra of chirping crickets and hooting owls with the moon shining brightly above them and casting a silver highlight over the forest.

Candis clicked the pause button and the sounds ceased. She watched Severus as he looked around, scowling as the gears in his mind churned to remember what could have possibly happened in the middle of the dark forest at night. His efforts were fruitless as he looked down at Candis with a cocked eyebrow. He didn't need to speak for Candis to answer his confusion. "Here, maybe this will help." she said simply, clicking play.

Footsteps could be heard from behind them, growing louder with each step. A figure emerged from the thick underbrush in the shadows, stepping onto the moonlit of the path. The moon made his pale skin almost glow against his black billowing robes and curtains of black untidy shoulder length hair. It was Snape. He wiped his brow on his sleeve, sweating from the heat and making his hair greasier than usual. He oddly looked the same age as Severus did now. He walked past them, glancing over his shoulder now and then in obvious paranoia, his eyes sweeping his surroundings for any student that may have followed him.

The Scene Paused. Severus glared at himself for a moment, then gasped and looked down at Candis. "No...This isn't...Why must we watch this?!" he asked in desperation, his face flushing. "You snuck this memory in here! I did NOT approve.." Candis smirked. "-I- think it's cute...and really are you all that surprised that I would do this?" she asked smoothly. Severus sighed as she pressed play and the two followed memory Severus.

He walked on deeper into the forest and followed a small stream. He suddenly stopped, unsheathing his wand and pointing it at the path ahead of him. He had heard movement, not much, but you could never be too careful in the dark forest. "Lumos." he hissed quietly and his wand tip lit up, showering the path with light. There was a light hiss as a black and neon green striped serpent slithered across the path, recoiling as the light hit it and closing its eyes.It shook its head as it squinted its bright green eyes to look up at the source of the light, flicking its tongue and coiling up its 7 ft long body . Severus let out a sigh and glared down at the creature. "Just a bloody snake.." he snarled, angry at himself for having let his paranoia get to him. He just continued walking, nearing his destination, the snake's eyes following him as he went. A few minutes later Severus quickly turned around as a twig snapped behind him. "Who's there?" he called into the darkness, lighting his wand again. No one was there. After scanning the path for a good while he scowled and continued on his way, keeping his wand lit. A minute later it happened again, and again he turned around to nothing but silent darkness. He looked around, breathing harder half from frustration and half from anxiety. He narrowed his eyes and took off again, keeping his guard up for the slightest noise. He found the noise he was looking for almost immediately after he walked away and he turned in a swirl of robes. This time his wand light caught something as it disappeared under a bush. With a triumphant smirk, he quickly parted the bush and looked underneath it. "AH HA!" He glared as he saw what it was. Under the bush was coiled the same black and green serpent he had run across earlier. "You!" he hissed, looking annoyed. "Great...Of all the snakes in this forest, I run across the one that stalks people.." he drawled to himself, raising back up and walking on. He looked back at the snake that was now following him at his feet. He sighed, stopped, and motioned for it to shoo. It only raised its head and looked up at him, flicking its forked tongue. (( What am I a dog?)) "...Shoo!" It only blinked ((I'd rather not.)). "Go do..whatever it is you serpents do." It tilted its head. "...Don't look at me that way!" he ordered, but the snake stared on. He sighed again "Don't you have a family or something you can go bother?" The snake closed its eyes and lowered its head sadly. As rediculous as he realized he sounded talking to a snake, he looked around and once sure noone was there, looked down at the snake with a softened expression. "Fine...But only because...Well I have my reasons." He said with a twirl of his robes as he walked on, his new companion happily at his side.

"So cute." Candis said as she smirked up at Severus. "Shut it.." he snapped. "Aww c'mon, you have to admit it's cute how you're all "Shoo!"" she said with a light laugh, copying his gesture. Severus crossed his arms "Am I going to be forced to endure this the entire memory?" he asked smugly. "It only gets better love!" she replied with a big fanged smile. "I'm thrilled.." The scene continued.

"I'm talking to snakes now. God I need to find myself a girl." Severus mumbled to himself with a sigh and shake of his head. "No..No even better. Now I'm talking to -myself-!" He had reached his destination. Pushing weeds back to expose a peaceful clearing, in the center of which was a decent sized pond of crystal clear water and sandy shoreline, he slipped inside and walked to the waters edge. He stroked the waters surface with a long thin finger, testing the water temperature and sending ripples across the still pond. The snake coiled up in the shadows, watching him in curiosity ((The bloody hell is he doing..)). With one more glance around the forest to be sure he was alone, and to the snakes apparent surprise, he began disrobing. The snake's eyes suddenly grew very wide and round as it watched in transfixed shock as his final garment fell to the ground at his feet ((OMG PROFESSOR SNAPE IS..IS..OMG!! O..O)). The moon was definitely out that night, his pale skin glowing softly against the dark surroundings. He waded into the pond, then let himself be fully submerged in the cool water only to reemurge moments later and blow water out of his nose. This had become almost a nightly ritual for him over the past few weeks, the hot dry spell making this cool little secluded pond he had found become too tempting to resist. After lazilly swimming around for a few minutes, ravishing in the feeling of the cold water against his bare skin, he swam to the shoreline and rested in the shallows on his stomach ,using his folded arms as a chinrest. Recovering from the shock of seeing Professor Snape naked, the snake slithered out of the shadows and coiled up in front of his face, its head resting on its coils inches from his nose in a way almost mocking his position.

The scene froze. "So cute!" Candis cackled only to recieve a glare and quick "Shut it woman!" from Snape. Candis snickered and shook her head. "Touchy touchy...Though I must say love, you do have a nice a..." She was cut off by an anguished sigh "Don't you say a word. Just keep playing it." He grumbled, though with a cocky smirk this time. "Fine fine...nice -ass- I was going to say." She laughed "WOMAN!.." She quickly clicked play.

Severus scowled at the little snake, their noses almost touching. It flicked its tongue, lightly tickling the end of his nose. He didn't really mind, after all he wasn't afraid of snakes in the slightest. In responce to the lick, he scrunched his nose and mocked the snake as it had mocked him, by flicking his own tongue. The snake just hissed and watched him. Severus's eyes shifted around the area, then fell on the snake again and to his own amazement, the corners of his mouth began to form a small grin. "I guess you're not so bad." He said quietly as he ran a finger over its head carefully. "Kind of.." His eyes shifted again. "..cute..actually." He couldn't recall having ever said that word in his life, and smirked because of it. His finger paused as it ran over the crown of spikes along the back of its head and his eyes widened slightly. "Are you a...No, couldn't be. I would be dead by now." He dismissed the thought and shrugged off his curiosity. (( .. Aww)) The snake licked his nose again, and again his nose scrunched. He chuckled lightly and actually smiled for the first time in a long while. "Your welcome. Well..My name is Severus." The snake hissed. "...Or you can call me Sssss I suppose." he chuckled again, now idly petting it's head much to the snake's enjoyment. "I don't suppose you have a name. Hmm." He ran his finger down the coiled spine of the snake, its bright green stripes glowing softly against the rest of its ebony scales. "You remind me of one of my students. She always wears black and green, she's surprisingly intelligent as you seem to be, and she's in slytherin. And so little snake, I christen you Shadow." Shadow's eyes widened, but only briefly, then she hissed happily and uncoiled herself as she slithered around his neck and nuzzled her head against his cheek affectionately. This made him laugh lightly and scratch under her chin. "I see you like it. Very well then, it's official." He said with an affermative nod. He pushed himself up out of the water, grabbing his wand as he stood up and waving it over his body to dry himself. He was still very naked ,and having her head and neck dangling lazilly over his chest to about mid-stomach, Shadow had a very interesting view which yet again had her eyes resembling marbles (( OMFG HIS PENIS...IT'S RIGHT THERE...and bigger than I had thought! O..O )) . Needless to say she kept both ends of her body pulled up to be a safe distance from anything she didn't need to be touching. Thankfully for her, Severus soon got dressed and threw his robes on. "I'm sure Dumbledore won't mind if you wander the castle, assuming of course that you won't bite anyone...though if you wish to bite Potter you have my absolute permission." He drawled with a smirk as he took off back towards the castle. Shadow hissed ((Gladly..)) and brushed the lower half of her body over his stomach, making him laugh. "Watch it, I'm ticklish...But don't tell anyone. For the love of Merlin I don't need -that- spreading around the school." (( Aww hehe..Oh..This shall come in handy someday I feel..D ))Shadow nuzzled Severus again, making him smile. Then in a blatant show of affection previously unseen by anyone, he placed a light kiss on top of the snake's head.

The scene paused again. "-So cuuute- I know!" Severus sneered in a mocking tone, reaching and grabbing the remote from her hand and pressing a few buttons. Candis just grinned as the scene changed and began to play. She stole back her remote. "If -you- play with my remote, then -I'll- worry about leaving this with all limbs intact." She smirked, he scoffed, and Harry Potter came into view.

Severus was sitting at his desk in his office, his quill scrawling cramped words across a piece of parchment that appeared to be a students essay. He looked to be in his usual grumpy mood, his eyes scanning the parchment and not looking up from it as Harry Potter walked tentatively into the office. "Yes?" Severus drawled in a bored tone. "Er, here's my essay on Boil Cure Potion from where I was sick yesterday Professor." He said as he laid the parchment on Severus's desk. Harry noticed something he hadn't seen from a distance and raised his eyebrows. "I didn't know you have a pet snake Professor." As he stepped closer Shadow's eyes opened ((..It's the winey arogant one!)), having been asleep, and she immediately bared her fangs and hissed loudly, striking out at him and missing by inches before recoiling to do it again. Harry backed up quickly. "Uh, I think I'll go now." he said as he left the office. Severus hadn't raised his eyes or his quill from the parchment the entire time, but once he heard the door snap shut his eyes turned to Shadow and a smirk crossed his face. "I think we are going to be good friends, you and I"

End