Once upon a time, there was a beautiful teenage princess, Snow White. Her hair was long and dark as the night, her lips were bloody red, her eyes wide as a doe's and her skin a very pale snowy white, which got her the name Snow White. Her look was on the edge of being emo or gothic, but not quite.
Both her parents had died when she was young, her mother while giving birth to Snow White and her father, the deceased King, some years later, having married a beautiful supermodel soon before his death. Snow White's stepmother, the new queen, was the only person left who could raise her.
They never got along well. The Evil Queen (which is how Snow White had nicknamed her) always had lots of trouble because of Snow White. But she wasn't evil at all; she was a gorgeous, well-educated, classy, conservative and majestic kingdom ruler.
Snow White was the evil one. She was a very mean, nasty, bad-behaved and foul-mouthed princess. She had a lot of issues, the psychological reason behind them behind them being the trauma from her parent's death.
Snow White liked to get drunk every weekend, and sometimes smoked weed. She was a Bad Girl.
One day, the Evil Queen got herself a new boyfriend, Huntsman. Even though many years had passed since the King's death, Snow White didn't like that her father was finally forgotten. But she did like Huntsman. A lot. She fell in love with her stepmother's boyfriend.
When the Evil Queen found Snow White blatantly flirting with Huntsman, she was in rage, which is quite comprehensible. Snow White did many bad things, but this was the last drop. The Queen's patience and kindness were over, she couldn't take this anymore. So, Snow White was sent away into an institution for problematic teenagers.
Not surprisingly, Snow White fell in depression shortly after. Her life had taken so many bad twists that she just didn't care about anything anymore.
The instituition was very big and she soon found friends. Her best friends were Rapunzel and Cinderella.
Rapunzel was a long haired blonde bitch, who always thought she is better than anyone else. She was always flirtingly playing with her hair, or either brushing or braiding it. It was an annoying flirty habit.
Cinderella was a gorgeous, very, very intelligent, promiscuous girl. A slut, a smart slut, and a gold-digger.
Both princesses were in love with Prince Charming, who was walking perfection himself. He had lots of girlfriends, having already dated both, and formerly also the drug addicted Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty was the baddest of all bad bitches out there. If there had been any Championship of Bad Girls, she would have won it.
Snow White didn't like players and heartbreakers like Prince Charming, so she dated other guys.
As she was so gorgeous, she quickly got seven boyfriends. This might strike as six too many boyfriends, but Snow White couldn't love any of them as they all had flaws. In fact, she gave them nicknames that summed up and illustrated pretty well their main character traits:
There was Grumpy, who was always in a bad mood, he had never said anything nice to Snow White, often calling her ugly slut and etc; Sneezy, whose runny nose and constant pitiful sneezes made snow White embarrassed and irritated, Bashful, who was shy and way too nice guy, couldn't even come to kiss her; Sleepy, who could barely get out of bed, and was always too tired to have any fun; Doc, who was a smug arrogant bastard; Happy who was always high and dopey who was just a complete idiot.
For all this, Snow White couldn't love any of them, and she ended up liking them less everyday, and nicknaming the group of her boyfriends "The seven dwarves", just to piss them off.
But even though none of them was perfect or even nearly good enough, they still pleased other girls. Those girls were very, very jealous of Snow White's beauty, popularity and boyfriends.
Unfortunatly, one of the girls was an Evil Witch, who decided to poison poor Snow White.
After putting much thought and effort into it, the Evil Witch settled in poisoning her through an apple, not only because she often saw Snow White eating some, but because it's mystical qualities and symbology would make the magic easier to perform. An apple is an ancient symbol of beauty, temptation and sin. What could be an better element to bring death upon someone who adored all this qualities?
The Evil Witch started working on the magical poison, but as she was only a teenager yet, she wasnr powerful enough to bring actual death upon someone. The maximum effect she could achieve was a deep coma, and she hoped no one would be able to distinguish it from actual death, and Snow White would be buried alive. And that's exactly what happened.
The Evil Witch left the big red sweet juicy apple one evening next to Snow White's bed, so she would take a hungry bite as soon as she saw it. And that's exactly what happened.
To make sure no one would be searching for a murderer and found out she's guilty, the Evil Witch also spread cocaine all over Snow White's bed, so everyone would think she died from an overdose. And that's exactly what happened.
On Snow white's burial day, all her friends were crying big sad sour tears, and were burying poor Snow White alive. Well, she wouldn't keep alive for long in a coffin under earth. Soon, she would be rotten and eated alive by various worms. In some months only bloodied infested bones would be left of this once divine creature.
And the coffin goes down, down further… And further…