Ok. She's weird you're thinking. Well yeah, I am. I wrote this "rules of war" poem after a RE lesson at school about rules of war. We had to make up our own, and being the naughty pupils we are, me and 2 of my friends made up some rules which we found really quite amusing. Fruitful Fred is a character from another lesson. Maybe I'll do another thrilling installment later, but for now…
RULES OF WAR,
BY JEN
LOVE YOUR TROOP IMENSLY,
AND NEVER LET THEM GO.
MAKE THEM FIGHT WITH ALL THEIR MIGHT
BUT SHARP THINGS ARE A NO!!
ENTERTAIN YOUR PRISONERS
WITH A GAME OF BATTLE SHIPS.
ENSURE THAT KIDS ARE LOCKED AWAY
OR ELSE YOU'LL BE IN SHIT!
ALWAYS CLEAN THE SPLATTERED BLOOD
AND NEVER EVER SNITCH.
IF U DO, YOU'LL BE IN POO
AND THAT WILL JUST BE IT
REMEMBER WHY IT IS YOUR FIGHTING
(TO KEEP THESE RULES OF WAR)
NEVER SHAVE YOUR TROOPS EYEBROWS,
EVEN IF THEY SNORE!
ENSURE TO ALWAYS WEAR BRIGHT COLOURS,
AND STAY AWAY FROM GREEN
THE GREENERY YOU SEE,IS THE BIGGEST THREAT
IT MAKES US LOOK UNSEEN
IF YOU DO NOT LOVE YOUR TROOP
AS IMENSLY AS YOU SHOULD,
I ASSURE YOU SIR THAT YOU WILL PAY!
WITH YOUR POSSESIONS MADE FROM WOOD??
IF WHEN I CHECK YOUR GUN, AND SEE
THAT YOU ARE SHOOTING BULLETS.
YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE TROOP
WILL ALL HAVE HAIR CUT JUST LIKE MULLETS!
IF HOWEVER YOU WEAR PINK,
AND LOVE YOUR TROOP IMMENSLY,
AND BOTH YOUR EYEBROWS REMAIN INTACT,
THEN SIR, YOUR FUCKING AMAZING!
FOR I YOU SEE, HAVE NEVER HAD
A FIGHT WITH BOTH MY BROWS
I ALWAYS SEEM TO WEAR GREEN CLOTHES
AND I NEVER WORKED OUT HOW!!!
BUT IF NONE OF THESE SEEM TO WORK,
AND YOURE IN A FRIGHTFUL FRENZY
JUST REMEMBER FRUITFUL FRED,
AND LOVE THY TROOP IMENSLY!!!!!!!!!