Author's Note:
If you haven't already watched the music video of the Vocaloid song "Reboot" by JimmyThumbP, I strongly recommend doing so in order to understand the context of this fanfic.
Here's a link to the video on Youtube: watch?v=3BFvN-idN1s
...
"Hey guys! Thanks for waiting. I have something for you two." Zimi is panting heavily, but manages to pull off a large smile like she always does.
"Gifts? For us?" I ask.
Zimi hands us each a carefully wrapped package. "Go ahead, Luka, Miku. Open them!"
Miku and I eagerly tear open the wrapping paper to reveal a golden star keychain. As we admire them in the light of the setting sun, Zimi pulls out one of her own.
"Friendship keychains!" Miku proclaims.
"Yeah!" Zimi nods.
We raise up our keychains simultaneously towards the orange and pink-streaked sky.
"Best friends forever!" we chant in unison and collapse into a fit of giggles.
"That's so cheesy," Miku remarks, the first to lower her keychain.
"So what? Are you saying we're NOT going to be friends forever?" I retort, jokingly.
Zimi giggles again. "You two are silly. Of course we're BFFs!"
...
Miku and Zimi are my BFFs. I've known them both since elementary school; most of my happiest memories have been with the two of them. The three of us walk to and from school together every day, and when it rains, we share Miku's big, rainbow checkered umbrella. We know all of each other's favorites, dislikes, crushes, and deepest secrets.
We may not always get along, but we always find a way to set things right in the end. I can't imagine anything ever permanently coming between us.
...
One sunny afternoon, we're on the way to the mall eating ice cream cones when Miku points yet out another flaw in the guy I'm crushing on.
"Come ON, Miku! That's enough already." I give her a playful shove, causing her ice cream cone to splat onto the sidewalk.
Instantly the mood shifts.
"M-miku?" I put my hand on her shoulder. One glance at my friend's face makes it clear that she is not the Miku I know and love.
She doesn't answer. Instead, she shoves me back three times as hard. There's an unusual, frightening fury in her eyes.
But I'm not going to let her be a brat-after all, it was just an ice cream cone. I shove her back just as hard. "Miku, what's your deal? I'm sorry, okay?! I'll go buy you another one."
She simply glowers at me and shoves me back again.
"Miku, stop this!" I yell, only to be answered with more shoves and grunts. I let my exasperation take over me and decide to play along. Besides, she's taking it way too far; it's not like I meant to push her ice cream on the sidewalk in the first place. She started it.
All of a sudden, Miku stops and stares into the street with a deadly silence.
I turn around just in time to see Zimi's frail body flying up into the air as the truck zooms by.
Zimi?! No, no, no!
As the scene unfolds a small yellow object flies out of her hand and lands at my feet.
I ignore it and dash straight to my friend's still body. The unmoving expression on her face is of sheer terror.
Miku is at my side almost immediately, dialing 119 on her cellphone with trembling hands. But it's no use. Even as young as we are, both of us already know it's too late.
...
It's been about a week since the accident. I haven't talked to Miku at all since then.
Shortly after the ambulances arrived, I blacked out. One distinct memory I do have is picking up that yellow object that flew towards me that day-it's still stuffed away deep into my purse. Just looking at my purse gives me pain.
My parents have been really supportive, giving me lots of hugs and trying to explain the situation to me. I appreciate their comfort, but I don't need any explanations. Zimi's gone for good, I know that already.
Why didn't she look both ways before crossing? Why was she in the middle of the road like that? Why was she even crossing the road anyway?
And worst of all, why were Miku and I fighting so intensely that we didn't even notice her? Zimi's death could have been prevented. I can't believe we let it happen.
...
The memorial service seems to go by quicker than I thought. Her close family is there, but not many others besides the Hatsunes, my parents, and me are also in attendance. Zimi was a shy girl, so unfortunately Miku and I were the only two friends she really had.
Afterwards, Miku lingers a bit in front of Zimi's coffin. All of our parents are patiently waiting for us near the exit, so I decide to go comfort her sooner than later. It's the first time we've seen each other in a week, but Miku doesn't seem to notice me. She's muttering unintelligibly to herself.
Eventually her mumbles turn to desperate cries, and my eyes widen as I start to make out what she's raving about.
"It's all...her fault, Zimi! You're...you're gone forever because of her!"
She's blaming ME for Zimi's death. But...but why? Why is she blaming it all on me?
"Zimi..." She breaks down into tears.
As she screams, I think about how neither of us wanted Zimi to die. Does Miku really think that it was all my fault?
...
Miku's been avoiding me. I saw her for the first time in weeks just yesterday and yet she didn't even acknowledge me.
What's worse? It was raining and for the first time in years, the three of us BFFs weren't sharing Miku's signature rainbow-checkered umbrella. Instead, Miku carried a smaller, strawberry-patterned umbrella as she walked home with our classmate Hana. Talk about snubbing. I guess Miku really no longer considers me her friend.
If only I hadn't pushed her so hard that day...if only I had tried to understand her feelings. These kind of thoughts are the only ones drifting around in my head nowadays.
As I struggle to find some sort of closure to this never ending nightmare, I finally summon the courage to open up my purse, and take a good look at that yellow, no, golden object.
A plastic star. An oddly familiar star...
My gaze shifts to a keyring hanging off the side of my purse. Bits of the chain and star are missing. That's strange, I don't even remotely remember it being broken like that. Plus, no one has touched my purse since that day. The only time that keychain could have been damaged was-
The puzzle pieces click in immediately. It really is all my fault.
That's likely why Zimi was in the street. She cherished her only friendships so seriously that it wouldn't be far-fetched to assume that she'd dive straight for the keychain if it somehow broke or fell off.
If I hadn't been fighting Miku, I could have held Zimi back. We could have easily purchased another keychain if the truck ran over it. That cheap thing meant so much to her, but it definitely wasn't worth her life. I doubt Miku knew about all this, but fate has it that she blames Zimi's death on me anyhow. I have to admit it fully now...she's right.
At last, I'm convinced that it truly WAS my fault. Not only because of that stupid fight I started with Miku, but because it was MY keychain that she went after.
I don't even know what to think anymore.
...
It's been ten long years...and I still haven't fully healed from Zimi's death. The pain has ebbed somewhat, but it won't ever disappear.
I still haven't spoken to Miku, and I doubt that I'll ever have the courage to face her again. To be honest, I haven't seen her at all since middle school; we went to different high schools and never bothered to say goodbye. It's not like she seemed willing to reestablish our friendship in the first place.
But it doesn't matter now. I'm a new Luka with new friends, new interests, and better things to do with my life than dwelling on someone from my distant past. I've thrown myself headfirst into my studies, so much in fact that I had to get glasses last year. Besides, unlike the events of the past, my grades and test scores are something I have control over.
I'm walking across campus after a long day of lectures when all of a sudden something catches my eye on an otherwise typical club recruitment banner.
A star.
A star, just like those keychains from so long ago. The keychain Zimi risked her life for.
Something compels me to check out the Astronomy Research Society. My body carries me there on its own will.
Before long, I'm standing in front of the room. I take a deep breath before pushing open the door.
Wait, someone's inside. That distinct turquoise hair...could it be...?
She turns around. There's no doubt-it's her.
I gasp. Our eyes only meet for a split second before I turn and bolt from the room as fast as I can.
Why?! Why, of all people, did it have to be Miku?!
I bet she still blames me for Zimi's death. I bet she still hates me-
"Luka, wait!" I feel my hand being grabbed from behind.
Tentatively, I turn around to hear what she could possibly have to say.
"I...I just want to say sorry. I'm so, so, sorry..."
What?
It's then that I notice how much of an emotional mess she is. Tears are streaming down her face and her body is convulsing in sobs. I can't remember her ever being so genuine and open with her feelings.
Seeing my friend break down rips open my old wounds, all the anguish and suffering pouring out onto the surface yet again.
My anger is gone, replaced with big, ugly tears just like Miku's. We take each other's hands and instinctively sink to the ground at the same time, the weight of all these years crushing down on us.
I'm sorry too, Miku. You weren't really blaming me for Zimi's death; it was just your way of dealing with it. We were just immature kids being stupid.
In reality, the rift between us disappeared long ago. I wouldn't have admitted it, but I missed you more than you can imagine. I just want to be friends again too, Miku.
After holding each other for a while, I muster up the bravery to talk to Miku for the first time in years.
"I missed you, you know."
"Yeah, I missed you too."
...
After we both collect ourselves, we decide to do some catching up back at the hill where Zimi, Miku and I all used to play together. It was atop this very hill that we received the star keychains and promised our eternal friendship to each other.
"Wow, you're majoring in Biochemistry, Luka? That's amazing! I never knew your dorkiness would get you this far.
Suddenly I notice something. Around her neck is a familiar golden star hung on a black string. I guess neither of us could get bear to get rid of that keychain; I myself wear it as an earring.
"Thanks. But you know, I'm not surprised you're majoring in the Classics, Miku. You always had a love of reading and writing."
It's been years, but finally we can talk like normal friends again. She's matured into such a beautiful young woman, but deep inside I can tell she's still the same spunky Miku from my childhood.
We drifted apart when we needed each other the most-both of us are to blame for that. Zimi loved us both dearly; she never would have wanted us to separate like we did. But now I realize just how much I cherished and continue to cherish my friendship with Miku.
As we talk, I get a strange sense that someone/something is behind us. Miku seems to notice it too.
We both turn our heads at the same time.
There's nothing there, but in my heart I somehow feel a sense of peace and resolve.
Until we can meet Zimi again, the two of us will just have to keep holding on. At least now we no longer have to suffer alone.
"Best friends forever," I whisper to myself, remembering that promise from years ago.
Miku smiles and nods, having heard me.
"Best friends forever," she affirms.