Her mother succumbed to the fever during a storm. Laena was only seven then, but she remembered it as clearly as if it were yesterday. She could recall her mother's screams as she brought her little brother into the world, her weeping as the babe died in her arms, her coughing as the fever took hold of her, and her croaking an apology to her father before closing her eyes forever. Her father didn't speak for weeks afterwards, only taking his meals in his solar and staring out over the sea from the terrace. Patrek tried to conceal his feelings beneath hours of training and riding, but whenever Laena looked into his deep blue eyes, she could see the sadness hidden within them. Laena herself didn't quite understand what had happened to her mother and baby brother – and she wouldn't for years – but she did understand that they were gone, and because of it, her family would never be the same.
Three weeks following her mother's death, friends and family arrived from every corner of Westeros to mourn the loss of Elene Mallister, including Catelyn Stark of Winterfell. Laena watched from behind a pillar in the Great Hall as her father received everyone, smiling sadly and nodding as they gave him their condolences, but when Lady Catelyn stood before him the tears ran freely down his face and he collapsed into her. Patrek found her then and explained how Lady Catelyn and their father were friends as children because their grandfather often took his eldest son with him to Riverrun, where Catelyn grew up.
During the burial, Laena squeezed her father's hand, refusing to cry. She cried once when one of her kittens had been snatched by Patrek's bird, and when her father found her sobbing on the terrace he told her not to cry because death was the natural way of life. She would not cry for her mother, at least not publicly, because she refused to look weak. Patrek did not cry nor did her father. Laena would not be an exception, no matter how distraught she became as her mother's body was laid to rest beside her baby brother's within the cliffs of Seagard. Laena knew they would be among the souls of her ancestors, and that brought her some peace, but no amount of inner peace would bring her mother back.
"Come, Laena," Patrek whispered, pulling her away from her father. Everyone had cleared out of the tomb but her father, her brother, and herself. "Let's give him a few moments alone with them."
"But they're dead. What do you say to the dead?" she asked curiously. She looked over her shoulder and saw her father kneel and place his hand over the hands of her mother's stone likeness. She drew her eyes away from the scene and looked into Patrek's again, not understanding.
"You'll understand when you're older, little sister," he assured, but Laena didn't want to wait until she was older. She was envious of her brother – already a grown man in his fourteenth year – and how he seemed to know everything. It wasn't fair. Her mother had told her often that she knew more than Patrek had known at her young age, but she wanted to know just as much as he did now. She started to pout, crossing her arms in front of her. Patrek tweaked her nose and smiled. "I promise."
She smiled up at him. "Above the rest?" she questioned, citing their house words, something that had become a habit for her after learning what the words actually meant.
He nodded, chuckling. "Above the rest." He led her from the tomb then, leaving their father to say his final goodbyes to his wife and son that he never had the chance to meet while he still breathed the same air as they did.
Laena stayed glued to Patrek's side for the rest of the evening, undoubtedly annoying him when she would pull on his shirt sleeve or grip his hand tight as she hid behind him while he talked to people that she didn't know. When a pretty, young girl – no older than Patrek – approached, he leaned down and hissed, "Go bother Father instead, Laena."
She frowned at him, huffing, before turning to search for her father. She already knew that he wouldn't be found in the Great Hall with all of those people mulling about. She walked the halls, expecting to find him standing on the terrace, but as she passed his solar she heard two distinct voice from behind the large oak doors, one belonging to her father and the other to Lady Catelyn Stark. She pressed her ear to the door.
"Please, Catelyn. I'm begging you. The girl needs a mother and–" her father began, only to be interrupted.
"What the girl needs is her father, Jason," was Catelyn's sharp reply. Laena could hear someone pacing, imagining it to be Lady Catelyn, her black dress swishing behind her as she moved about the solar. "She just lost her mother and now you're asking me to take her from her father as well. I won't do it."
"Cat, please," her father begged. "I don't know what to do. Laena's...difficult." Laena pulled back and glared at the door as if she was looking through it at her father. "Elene was the one who parented her. I was always too busy with Patrek, trying to teach him about the affairs of Seagard and– I'm sick, Cat. There are good days and there are bad days. I don't have enough energy to be a mother and a father to Laena as well as training Patrek. Gods know the boy has much more to learn before he becomes lord of anything."
"Jason," Catelyn breathed, voice just barely loud enough for Laena to hear the concern that the woman held for her father. "I'll send a raven to Ned. We've already taken one ward. I can't make you any promises, but I will try."
"You've been a good friend to me, Cat. I won't forget everything that you've done for me." Laena tore herself away from the door and leaned against the wall. She gulped and took a deep breath before pushing the doors open. "Laena? What have I told you about knocking and entering a room unannounced?" her father scolded while she shuffled closer to him, eyeing Lady Catelyn wearily. She didn't want to leave with this woman. Not now, not ever.
"I'm sorry, Father. Patrek told me to come find you. He said I should come bother you instead," she admitted, climbing into his lap. She rested her head against his shoulder and stared at the woman. "I think he likes a girl."
Her father laughed, smoothing her dark hair with one hand. "I would hope so. He's to be married to one someday." Laena smiled at him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. "It's getting late, my sweet girl. Perhaps it's time for you to say goodnight to your brother and get prepared for bed."
She wrinkled her nose. "But I'm not tired," she cried. Her father stood up, setting her firmly on the ground. She tugged at his vest. "I want to stay up with you. Patrek never has to go to sleep this early."
"That's because Patrek isn't a seven year old girl," he countered, eyebrow raised as if challenging her. "Go, Laena. We will break our fast together in the morning before we say our goodbyes to our guests."
She turned to Lady Catelyn. "Are you leaving tomorrow too?" Laena hoped so. That would mean she could stay with her father.
The woman smiled and shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. I have some business to take care of before I can return home."
"What kind of business?" she pressed, cocking her head to one side in curiosity.
"That's enough, Laena," her father ordered. He gripped her shoulders gently and led her from his solar, straight into the hands of the waiting Septa Merser. He pressed his lips to her temple. "Goodnight, my sweet girl. Sweet dreams."
She begrudgingly went with the Septa and sat silently as the woman put her into her nightgown and brushed her hair. She did struggle slightly when the elderly woman tried to put her into bed, but when the Septa promised candied almonds for the morning, Laena pulled the covers up to her chin and shut her eyes. She kept them shut until the old woman had blown out the candles and left the room. Once she heard the door click shut her eyes were as wide as they had been when she was fully awake earlier in the day. There was too much running through her mind for her to sleep. Did her father not want her anymore? Would she be leaving Seagard to go live in a strange place with a strange woman and her strange family? She didn't want to leave. She liked Seagard and the smell of the salt water and the sound of waves crashing against the cliffs below. She heard that it snowed in the North, and Laena had never seen snow. She didn't want to.
Her father had the final say in the matter, of course, and three days later, Laena was placed onto a horse beside Lady Catelyn. "I don't want to go," she cried as she gripped her father's arm, keeping him at her side. She was crying now, something she told herself that she wouldn't do. "I want to stay here with you and Patrek. I'll be a good girl! I promise! I'll listen to everything that Septa Merser says and so as she asks. I promise! Just please don't make me leave, Father!"
Her father's eye softened and he sighed. "I'm doing this for you, my sweet girl. You'll like it at Winterfell, I know you will. And Catelyn has children closer to your age than Patrek. Be a strong girl and make House Mallister proud."
She sobbed loudly, her lip trembling. "Above the rest?" she asked through her tears.
"Above the rest. Don't forget it, Laena." He pried her hand away from his arm and kissed her hand before letting it fall to her side. "I'll come see you. I swear it. I'll even bring Patrek along." He smiled widely at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly.
Laena smiled back, unable to resist despite her melancholy attitude. "Do you swear it by the Old Gods and the New?" she asked, wiping away her tears to look expectantly at her father.
"Where in the Seven Kingdoms did you learn that phrase?" he asked, laughing.
"Septa Merser makes me swear by them when I promise to do my reading," Laena admitted. "It's not like I'd lie about it. I like reading."
"I know you do, sweet girl." He leaned in a placed a final kiss on her cheek. "Be safe and do as Lady Catelyn says. The King's Road is a dangerous place and I can't have anything happening to my little girl."
Laena nodded, biting her lip to stop the sob that threatened to spill from her mouth. She turned away from her father as the horses trotted forward, through the cobblestone streets of Seagard and away from the only home she's ever known. Laena knew that if she looked back at her father or brother she would turn her horse around and clutch her father tightly while refusing to leave. She wanted to believe everyone, that going to Winterfell would be for the best, but did anyone ever think to ask Laena what she wanted? No, and no one would've. Her mother had made sure that she understood from a very young age what women were put in the world to do: marry and many birth sons to carry on a family name.
But Laena didn't want to marry. She didn't want to have children. She wanted to travel. She wanted to be a warrior like Visenya and Nymeria and Rhaenys. Patrek often let Laena train with him and taught her how to shoot bow and arrow when she was five. She wasn't the best, and she feared she's never improve without Patrek's guidance. She had already heard Lady Catelyn discussing propriety and etiquette and things like needlework. Laena hated needlework. Septa Merser had given up trying to get her to sew after one too many bloody fingers and angry fits.
"It'll be a fortnight before we reach Winterfell," Lady Catelyn informed her. "We'll stop every few hours to feed and rest the horse, and come nightfall we'll make camp."
And they did just as she said for the next twenty-two days, finally coming upon the gates of Winterfell at midday of their twenty-third day. Lady Catelyn rode through the gates ahead of Laena, but she wasn't far behind. One of the guards helped her climb down from her horse before taking its lead and pulling it towards the stables. "Cat!" a man called out. He tore through the gathering crowd of people to approach her and pull her into a tight hug, kissing her firmly before letting her go. His gaze lifted and landed on Laena, hiding behind Catelyn's skirt. "And you must be little Lady Laena. I'm Eddard Stark, Catelyn's husband." He held his hand out, and she delicately placed hers within his. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Please accept my apologies for not being in attendance at your mother's funeral."
"Um," Laena glanced up at Catelyn, receiving a warm smile and a small nod. "Thank you," she said, though it came out as a question rather than a statement.
Lord Eddard laughed and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He looked over his shoulder at the three children stood behind him and then back at Laena. "Let me introduce you to the other children." He walked in front of two boys with similar curly hair, one black and the other a mix of dark brown and red. "These are my sons, Jon and Robb. The boy behind them is my ward, Theon Greyjoy." She narrowed her eyes at the mention of Greyjoy, making Eddard laugh. "I forgot, there's bad blood between the Greyjoys and Mallisters. You won't have any problems from Theon here, I promise my dear." He moved down the line, his hand on Laena's back guiding her beside him. "These are my daughters, Sansa and Arya." One was tall and had hair as red as her mother, while the other was small and looked more like her father, even at a young age. He stopped in front of a woman that held the hand of a child slightly smaller than the youngest girl. "And this is my youngest, Bran."
Lady Catelyn stepped forward and took hold of the small child. "Perhaps Sansa can show Lady Laena to her room. The poor girl hasn't had a decent night of sleep since we left Seagard." It was true. Despite her best efforts, Laena laid awake most nights of their journey, crying and wishing for her mother to return and take her home. It was futile, but she did so anyway, worrying Lady Catelyn. Her concerns for the younger girl brought the two closer, but they would never have a relationship similar to the one that Laena had with her mother.
Catelyn tried to make things easier for Laena during their journey to the North, but hardly anything made her smile. The one day that Laena felt truly happy was her eighth nameday. Thinking that it would come and go with no one realizing the importance of the day to her, she sulked most of the way until they stopped at an inn for the night. Catelyn had a tray of lemon cakes brought to her and presented her with a new cloak of soft furs and warm sheepskin. "I was visiting your father in Seagard the day your mother found out that you were growing inside of her. She was so convinced that you would be another boy, but I told her that she would have a girl," Catelyn told her after seeing the shocked look on Laena's face. She smiled and added, "I was right."
After that night, Laena was more comfortable around Catelyn. She hardly left her side on the road, even taking to tying her horse to Catelyn's so her horse wouldn't stray from the woman's side.
Suddenly the girl with bright, fiery hair was standing in front of her looking excited. "Come on," she said, grabbing her hand, "I'll show you to your room." She let the smaller girl pull her away, glancing back at the rest of the family one last time before disappearing into the castle.
Once Sansa left her alone and all of her things were brought into the room that was to be hers for her duration at Winterfell – she wasn't positive how long her father intended on keeping her in the North – she fell back into the bed, closing her eyes and sleeping peacefully until a young woman woke her, beckoning her to get into the tub and wash before dinner. The dress that the handmaid put her into was heavier than any of the dresses that she had ever worn at Seagard and her hair remained in a long, dark braid lying along the line of her spine. With one hesitant look at the young woman, she motioned her forward with her hands and said, not unkindly, "Go. The Starks are waiting for you, Lady Laena."
She joined the family in the Great Hall and sat between Sansa and Theon, the other ward. Laena was used to fish – and lots of it – for dinner, but on the table in front of her was an abundance of chicken, venison, and pork. Everyone pulled portions of meat into their plates while Laena stared at the meat, unsure of what to take. She looked over at Sansa's plate: chicken and a mix of vegetables. She took the same before anyone could notice her hesitation. "Laena," Eddard called her name, making her look up from her plate as she took a bite of chicken. He glanced from Laena to his wife, continuing, "The letter I received from my lady wife barely told me anything about the girl we would be taking in. I'm curious about you, as are my children." She looked down the table to see expectant faces waiting for her to speak.
"I'm eight," she offered, unsure of what they wanted to know (if anything specific at all).
"You don't look like you're eight," one of the boys – Robb – observed, eyeing her like she was an anomaly. "You hardly look any bigger than Sansa."
She narrowed her eyes at the boy. "You don't look much bigger," she sneered. Theon nearly choked on his veal from laughing. Robb narrowed his eyes and returned to his meal, keeping his eyes cast downwards at his plate. Laena turned back to the adults in front of her and clarified, "Mother always told me I was sickly as a babe. That's why I'm so small. Patrek says that what I lack in size I make up for in speed when we spar."
Sansa gasped. "Ladies aren't supposed to spar," Sansa ridiculed.
Laena's cheeks heated up. She dragged her silverware across her plate, not making eye contact with anyone. "I'm not very good at it. Patrek always went easy on me."
Catelyn tsked. "That won't matter here. You won't be sparring with the boys or wielding a sword. You'll be taking lessons with Sansa and Arya, of course. As long as you're in our care it is our duty to teach you how to act like a highborn lady of your status. Perhaps we'll even find a suitable husband for you if your father agrees to it."
Eddard chuckled when Laena's eyes grew wide in terror. "You're scaring the girl, Cat. She's only seven. She's got quite some time before she thinks about marriage."
"If Sansa was her age I would have asked you to consider Patrek Mallister for her," Catelyn countered, looking at her husband in defiance. Catelyn Stark was a highborn lady through and through, Laena had no doubt about that. "But I do suppose it is up to Jason who Laena will be wed to and when." She turned her azure gaze on Laena. "It will happen one day though, my dear. It's better to learn the etiquette of a proper lady while you're so young."
"I'm going to marry a prince," Sansa added dreamily. Laena snorted, making Catelyn look at her disappointedly but also making Theon, Jon, and Robb laugh. Sansa kept talking, ignoring Laena and the boys. "Or maybe even a knight. He'll be brave and handsome. Like Ser Jaime Lannister." Catelyn and Eddard stopped eating to look at their daughter, and Laena saw a look pass between them before they continued eating, remaining silent for the remainder of the meal, only ever whispering to each other in passing but saying nothing more to the children. The other children continued to mindlessly chatter as they ate their dinner, but Laena kept her focus on the adults, wondering what it was that had wordlessly passed between the two at the mention of the man they called Kingslayer.
The plates were all clear when Jon walked up to her and asked her to join the boys in the Godswood, playing hide and seek. Laena was eager to see something other than the dimly lit castle and gladly accepted. He took her hand and led her through the castle and courtyard until they found themselves deep in the Godswood, sitting beside Robb and Theon in front of the Heart Tree. Theon held four sticks in his hand.
"The one to get the short stick has to count first," he declared, holding the sticks out to the younger children. Robb drew first, then Laena, and finally Jon. All four held out their sticks at the same time. "Well, bastard, it looks like you're counting. I'll know if you cheat."
Jon rolled his eyes. "I'm not like you, Theon. I don't cheat." He covered his eyes with his gloved hands, peeking through his fingers not once to look at them as he said, "Stay in the Godswood. Last time I spent an hour looking before I realized you two went back to the castle."
"Robb made me do it," Theon accused. Robb laughed and pushed Theon playfully.
"Whatever. Count to fifty?" Jon nodded in response and covered his eyes again, this time not peeking. Robb turned to Laena and grabbed her wrist before she left to find a hiding spot. He nodded towards her cloak and the trail of mud and snow that it was leaving in the light dusting of snow that covered the floor of the forest. "Pick that up and carry it or Jon will find you right away."
Laena nodded. "Thanks." She lifted her cloak around her and checked to make sure it didn't touch the ground. When she was sure she would leave no tracks, she hurried in the direction opposite of where Theon had gone. She ran past large rocks and even large trees, some of which she's never seen, before finally finding a small, stout pine tree that brushed the forest floor. Despite the damp ground and her new dress, she crawled underneath the tree until she was fully hidden beneath it. She sat quietly, watching with halted breath as a pair of feet ran past her, only feet from her face. She tried to crawl further into the undergrowth beneath the tree but snagged her dress on a root, tearing it. It was loud enough for Jon to hear, and he quickly turned around and approached the tree again. A hand slipped over her mouth, silencing her completely as whoever it was pulled her closer to him and further into the darkness of the tree.
When Jon turned around and walked in the opposite direction, Laena bit down on the hand that covered her mouth. "Ow!" he yelped in pain. She craned her neck to see Robb – barely, it was so dark under that tree – holding his hand to his chest. "What the hell was that for?"
Laena looked at him in disbelief. "I didn't know it was you! What if you were a kidnapper or a rapist or–"
"But it wasn't! It was me!" he hissed. "And you bloody bit me."
"You shouldn't have taken my hiding spot. Then we wouldn't have this problem," she countered, raising an eyebrow. If she could, her hands would have been on her hips as she stared at him intently.
"This was my hiding spot first," he shot back. "I always hide here." His face was muddy and his hair was disheveled, sap making it stick together at odd angles. Laena could only imagine what she looked like.
"What's the point of playing hide and seek if you hide in the same spot every time?" she questioned.
Robb smirked and told her, "No one's ever found me."
Laena frowned. "You must be so proud," she deadpanned. "Your mother is going to have a cow when she sees how dirty you are."
"I'm not the one who ripped my dress," he argued. "Plus, you look like a little wildling girl." He picked at a twig in her tangled hair, pulling it out and showing it to her with a smug grin on his face.
"You've seen a wildling before?"
His face dropped. "Well, no," he began, "but Uncle Benjen is a ranger on the Wall and when he comes to Winterfell he tells us stories about them. He goes beyond the wall and fights the wildling all the time."
"That doesn't mean you know what a wildling actually looks like. The Night's Watch doesn't fight children, so your uncle's probably never seen one either," she argued, smiling innocently at him. She reached over and tugged on some of the sap that was stuck in his hair. He hissed in pain as she giggles, "Sorry."
"You did that on purpose!" he accused, rubbing his sore scalp.
"I did not!" she snapped.
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"You guys do realize the point of hide and seek is to not get found right?" Both turned their head to look at Jon as he stared at them, head tilted to look at them without getting on the ground himself. "I could hear your shouting from the other side of the Godswood."
Laena glared at Robb as Jon held his hand out to help her out. "It's his fault," she muttered.
Jon pulled her out helped her brush her cloak off before looking her over. His eyes stopped at the tear in her dress, running across her ribs. "Is that his fault too?" he asked.
Robb had just crawled out from under the tree. "Nothing was my fault. She stole my hiding place," he snarled, brushing his pants off. "She's a nasty little thing. She pulled my hair."
"Let's just get back before Catelyn sends out a search party." The sky was getting dark, the sun completely hidden beyond the horizon. Robb and Laena were able to agree that neither wanted to be in more trouble than they surely would be in already once Catelyn took a good look at their appearances. Robb sent Laena one final, nasty look before stalking off towards the castle. "Lady Laena," Jon called, offering his arm.
Laena took it and furrowed her brows. "Why do you call your mother by her name?" she asked, eyes wide with curiosity.
"She's not my mother," he grumbled.
Suddenly, it dawned on her. "That's why Theon called you bastard." She felt Jon flinch at the word. "You know, my favorite cousin is a bastard. My uncle Jeffory only had a daughter by a tavern wench. She's a few years older than I am, but her status doesn't make me think less of her. I won't think any less of you either," she confirmed, squeezing his arm reassuringly.
"Lady Catelyn won't like it if you treat me as well as the others. She doesn't like me very much," he confided, but then changed his statement. "She doesn't really like me at all, really. I actually think that she hates me."
Laena stopped walking and looked at him with sad eyes. "That's cruel."
"I doesn't matter," Jon stated, pulling her along with him. "I am what I am, and I live with it. You should too." Laena mulled it over as they walked through the courtyard. She didn't like hearing that Jon was treated differently. Her cousin was the only thing that remained of her uncle Jeffory, and her father made sure that Abygael was fed and clothed, even paying off her mother's debts and giving them a suitable place to live just outside of Seagard. Abygael even joined them for dinner some nights while her mother worked.
Lady Catelyn stood on the stoop, waiting for her, looking more and more displeased the closer the pair came. When her eyes landed on Jon, she ignored him completely, acting as if he simply didn't exist. She looked Laena up and down, frowning when she saw the tear in the blue fabric of her dress. "Laena," she scolded, "how, pray tell, did you get so filthy." Laena didn't miss Catelyn's eyes flitting disapprovingly over to Jon. "Come child, let's go get you cleaned up. You can't sleep with that sap in your hair."
Laena looked back at Jon as Catelyn guided her through the doors of the castle, leading her swiftly to her room where she stripped and stepped into a steaming bath for the second time that day. This time, however, Catelyn helped her wash instead of a handmaid.
"Lady Catelyn?"
"Please, just call me Catelyn dear. There's no need to be formal when it's just family around," Catelyn ordered as she brushed through Laena's tangled hair. Laena ground her teeth together as Catelyn pulled on a particularly difficult knot.
"If you're not Jon's mother, then who is?" Catelyn abruptly stopped running the brush through her hair, seeming to freeze altogether. Laena turned to look at the woman, who had a blank expression on her face. "Catelyn?"
She shook herself from her thoughts, returning to brush the girl's hair. "I don't know," she admitted in a soft whisper. "Ned will not tell me and I do not ask. You shouldn't either." It was a warning, Laena could tell as much. Instead of pressing further she only nodded and relaxed into the water. Catelyn plaited her hair simply when she was finished brushing it. "Let's get you dried off and into bed. It's far too late for you to still be up. Your father would throw a fit if he knew you weren't in bed right now."
Laena smiled at her new foster mother. "It's a good thing you won't tell him then."
Catelyn smiled back, tweaking her nose like her father used to. "Indeed it is." Laena stood, water dripping from her body, and Catelyn used a strip of cloth to dry her. She helped tie the laces of her nightgown, one much thicker than the ones she was used to wearing at Seagard, and tucked her into bed. "Sweet dreams, child." Catelyn extinguished the remaining candles and left the room, shutting the door softly behind her.
Laena liked the Starks well enough, though she still missed her brother and father every single second of the day. It will just take time, Laena told herself, though how much time she didn't know. Perhaps she would only remain for a month, perhaps for a year. She felt like a fish out of water, a Riverlands girl in the North, surrounded by Northerners save for Lady Catelyn. She told herself she wouldn't cry herself to sleep that night like she had every other night since leaving Seagard, but she hadn't been keeping her promises to herself lately and her first night in Winterfell would not be an exception.