Stop Me From Falling

Hi everyone! Just because this is a strange pairing, please read it and don't write it off quite yet... Thanks!-Liv

They were polar opposites. They were like the moon and the sun- they had nothing in common except for the fact that they shared the same sky. His heart was broken, he was trying to heal. And her heart had been broken so many times that she felt like no one could put the pieces back together.

He could be the glue she needed to keep her together at the seams, and she could be the one who wouldn't treat him like just another stupid player. For the first time in years, Puck knew that she was special.

Emma Pillsbury wasn't just another hookup. What he felt had at first been nothing, which progressed slowly to something, which errupted into something bigger and all-consuming, and suddenly, she was his everything.

But nothing lasts forever, does it?

XXXX

"Puck." He snapped his head up to meet the gaze of Mr. Schuester. Spanish had never exactly been Puck's cup of tea, but he usually paid attention just because Mr. Schue was his favorite teacher. If he had to pick favorites, anyway. If Puck ever decided to like a teacher, it would probably be Mr. Schue, so normally the boy would at least try to tune into the lesson.

But today was different. For the third time in the last two months, Quinn had called of their relationship. This time, he knew that she was serious. "Puck," she had said, "I can't do this, anymore... it's... it's just stupid, because neither of us feel anything for each other, but we don't want to admit that we were stupid enough to even start this thing we have. I mean, we never felt anything, but admitting that would make last year so much more ridiculous, and I'm sick of pretending. It's..." she pursed her lips, almost a sad smile, before finishing, "It's over, Puck."

But the thing was, Quinn was wrong. Puck loved her, and he had given her everything he had left to offer. Which wasn't much. She had broken his heart by lying to Finn that he was the father of their child, she stomped on the shattered pieces by giving Beth up for adoption, and with one final sweep into the trash can, Quinn had dumped him, left him high and dry.

Probably for a stupid-ass kid like Finn, whose biggest problems were still his algebra homework.

Puck wasn't a kid anymore- his growing up process happened as the Cheerios uniform grew tighter and tighter around Quinn's middle last year. And just like the garment finally didn't fit, neither did Puck's kiddish lifestyle. He was a father, and with a fatherly title came fatherly problems, responsibilities. He swore to himself up and down that he would never mess up all that he had with Quinn, the love of his life, but as she walked down the hallway earlier that day with the broken pieces of his heart with her, Puck knew that all of his promises to be better had been for moot.

"Puck," Mr. Schue's agitated tone finally caught his attention. "For the third time, what is the 'you' form of the conjugated verb 'to run'?"

"Umm..." Puck's mind was already elsewhere. He couldn't focus on this shit class anymore, he couldn't focus on anything today. When was he ever going to use this information in real life, anyway? He knew for sure that he wasn't planning on walking around the streets yelling out conjugated verbs in another language, and Puck knew a thing or two about real life.

It had hit him like a ton of bricks last fall, and he was yet to move those heavy weights from his chest. Childhood dreamland was over, and his welcome to the real world hadn't been exactly pleasant. Spanish verbs wouldn't ever mean anything to him, and he was going to say so. "I don't know. Or care." His tone was that unwavering monotone that said "I am macho and manly and do not care what you have to say to me, now or ever."

"Puck, can I see you after class?"

"Whatever." Fuck you, Mr. Schuester.

XXXX

"You're not yourself today, Puck," Mr. Schue sighed, running a hand along the back of his neck.

"So?"

"So I care about you, Puck, and I want to know what's wrong. If I can help. Spanish is your best subject, Puck, you and I both know that and if you couldn't answer such a simple question today-"

"It's Quinn, okay?" Puck snapped, "She broke up with me. Again. And I'm sorry that no one here gives a damn about your stupid Spanish class, but I've got bigger problems than the ones you write on that chalkboard."

He placed a hand on Puck's shoulder, and Puck had to actively try not to flinch away. Mr. Schue was a good guy, really, and he was just trying to help. But Puck didn't want help, he just wanted to be alone. He needed time to think, and to vent to himself and feel sorry and wallow for a bit.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Puck," Mr. Schuester said, pulling out the top drawer of his desk and grabbing a pink hall pass to excuse Puck from his next class. Nurse? Detention? The office? "I'm gonna write a pass for you to go see Ms. Pillsbury, okay? I think you need someone to talk to right now, and she's always open to listen, alright? No ones judging you here, Puck... just, umm, try not to let this one get you down."

He handed Puck the pass, and the teenager fought to roll his eyes.

The hallways were crowded, as usual, but the noise was drowned out by Puck's thoughts. This whole day was stupid- and now he was supposed to go vent about it to some bullshit counselor who was too busy shining her pens and ogling over Mr. Schue to give a damn about the student body? Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit...

X

Her office was clean. For some reason, as soon as Puck set foot inside, he decided that he liked it that way. Maybe it was lemon-scented Lysol that hung heavily in the air or the overwhelming sense of order, but Puck definitely liked the cleanliness. "Noah," Ms. Pillsbury smiled, looking up from her paperwork. "H-how can I help you?" It usually bothered him when people called him "Noah," but something about her thinly accented voice made him sort of like the way it sounded rolling off her pink lips.

Seeing her sitting there, so fragile and small, at her desk made Puck's stomach clench. Why hadn't he noticed her before? Ms. Pillsbury's hair was curled and flipped to perfection, reminding him of those stupid old movies his younger sister liked to watch. Her brown eyes were by far the biggest that Puck had ever seen. And her smile? He felt lighter as soon as she laughed, flashing her pearly white smile.

God, she was hot. "I, umm," his throat felt clogged for some reason, and his palms grew clammy. "I have a pass...?" He handed her the pink slip of paper, their hands just brushing as it passed from his fingers to hers. A jolt of electricity shot up Puck's spine, and he wondered if she felt it too. There was a light blush to her cheeks now. Maybe, just maybe...

He watched carefully as her lips pursed into a thin line when she read Mr. Schuester's name on the paper. He'd almost forgotten about that whole drama between his teachers- Mr. Schue being a man whore or something and Ms. P calling him out on it. Good for her- Mr. Schuester thought he was so great. It made Puck want to vomit sometimes, even though he knew that his teacher was just trying to be nice.

"Right," she said, twisting her coffee mug so that the silver "E" on it faced him. Emma, right. He liked that name. "Sit down," she gestured for one of the seats across from her, and he flashed her his signature smirk as he took a seat. Why was he acting so ridiculous? This was his teacher... his smokin' hot teacher... And as Puck took his seat, he decided right then that he was going to make Emma Pillsbury his.

"Mr. Schuester says here that you haven't been yourself today?" she asked quietly, snapping him from his trance. He nodded quietly, his eyes slowly mowing over the small fragment of her body that he could see from where she was perched behind her desk. Her crazy ass sweater, her smile, her floral necklace, the soft swell of her breasts against her blouse...

"Yeah," Puck said finally. "I guess not. I'm under a lot of pressure and stuff, okay? Like, my mom expects me to be perfect about everything, and then when I mess up shit, she acts like I've done our family this huge disservice by giving up Beth for adoption. My mom knows I wanted her, but Beth's life would suck like mine if I kept her!" He was on a role now. He hadn't meant to disclose all of this personal stuff. He hadn't even thought about his mom that day. Even though it got him down sometimes, it hadn't been bothering him lately. But he guessed that maybe some of this stuff would hit home with Ms. P more than girl issues would.

"Oh, Noah," she sighed, resting her hand over his. Puck knew what they meant now when they talked about all of those butterflies in your stomach. And, more importantly, his pants. "I'm so sorry to hear that. No one is perfect, and no one should have to feel guilty- you shouldn't have to feel guilty- after that choice you made... You put Beth first, Noah. You should be proud of that, not ashamed. Certainly not... guilty..." she trailed off, her mouth forming an "o" shape as Puck's foot rested against hers underneath her desk.

Their eyes met, she looked up at him almost lovingly from her curtain of feathery red bangs. "Hey," Puck whispered, closing in on the moment. This was a golden opportunity.

"Noah..." The bell, signifying the end of the period, shook both Emma and Puck from the moment. But from then on, Puck had a new goal, someone else to try to ease into bed. And Emma had those feelings again, feelings she knew that she had no right to have.

XXXXX

For the next month, Puck tried to get into the guidance office whenever he possibly could. There was something about Emma that made him keep coming back. At first, it was because she was hot. She made his stomach do somersaults (a feat only Quinn had previously accomplished), and she presented a challenge. Because even though he was sure this one was going to be a little harder to crack, no one could resist Puckzilla, right?

But then he started opening up to her, little by little. She was his drug, and Puck quickly became addicted. Maybe it was her voice of reason, her smile, laugh, her priceless advice that he craved... or maybe it was all of it. Yeah. Puck slowly began to realize that Emma Pillsbury wasn't just another hookup for him. He was obsessed- and he realized, frightening little by little, that he was in love with her. She was hot, yeah, but Emma was more.

Emma was beautiful, and he hadn't ever said that before, about anyone.

She trusted him.

She respected him.

She didn't turn him away when she was having a bad day, instead she told him that of course he could come in, she was having a really rough day and wouldn't mind some company.

Puck was starting to think that Emma might want him, too.

XXXXX

"Shit." Puck was at the end of the main hallway, which housed the choir room, and at the very end, Emma's office. Recently, they'd been on a first name basis. He had always called her Emma in his head, ever since he realized what a pretty name that was, but for him to say it out loud was an entirely new addition.

"Noah, how are you today?" she grinned up from her paperwork, like always, as Puck came in and plopped into the chair across from her.

"Good. Just, umm, stopping into chat. That's a lot of paperwork," he said, gesturing to the stack of college applications that she had to file away before the end of the day. "Thought you might like some company." She blushed.

"Thank you, Noah, that was very sweet of you..." she said, standing up to put a manilla folder into the filing cabinet to the left of her desk. When she bent over to place the folder into it's proper compartment, Puck stifled his gasp. Her skirt was shorter than usual today, and Puck was such a leg man.

"You can call me Puck, you know," he said as she turned around, resuming her work.

"Oh?"

"All my friends do. It's a nickname... I don't usually go by Noah, but..." He shrugged his muscular shoulders, and Emma blushed, meeting his gaze and then hastily dropping it again, resuming her seemingly endless task of paperwork.

"Friends, huh?" she asked quietly, chuckling to herself. "You know, No- Puck," she flashed that smile, "I would like that. I mean, being... friends," she finished quietly. "It certainly doesn't feel like you're turning seventeen, you know. I feel like I've known you for a long time already." She blushed then, and Puck's heart soared.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she breathed, putting her pen down. "I'll make you a deal, Puck. If you think of me as friend enough to use your nickname, than you can call me Emma. Not, I mean, n-not in front of... people, but while we're here... why not?"

"Emma. That's pretty," he nodded, smiling. You're pretty...

His feet pounded down the hallway, his mind snapping out of his memories and into reality. And the reality was that Azimio and Karofsky had just nailed Emma with an extra large grape slushie. She stood at the end of the hallway, her hands held up at her sides, palms flexed outward as if to ward off the potential germs and mess. Her breathing was fast, anxious and she looked like she was about to break into a million pieces. Emma's eyes were shut tight, but even though they were clamped closed, Puck saw a few tears escaping from her huge brown orbs. He was going to hand those two their asses the next time he saw them, that was for sure.

He reached her just a few seconds. "Emma," he breathed his hands finding her shoulders, then tentatively placing a hand on the small of her back, edging close to her hips. "Em, Emma..." he said, shaking her a little.

"Puck." It was one word, whispered in a state of terror, and more tears squeezed out her eyes. "Puck." She said it again, whimpering quietly. Her whole body began to shake uncontrollably, and she reached for his hand.

"Oh, Em-" he was stopped short when she fell forward, collapsing into his arms. His instincts made him pull her closer to him and hold on to her for dear life, letting her cry into his chest. The sobs racked Emma's small frame, and Puck had no idea how he could make them stop, make it better, make everything okay. "Shh, shh you're alright... Emma, what can I to help you?" he asked, feeling very helpless himself. Of course it was after school hours, and there wasn't Glee today so Mr. Schue was (gladly) nowhere around.

In their compromising position, Puck was sort of glad that no one was around to see it. "Just don't let go," she whispered, so quietly that it was barely audible at all. "Tighter, Puck... please hold me tighter..." her cries subsided to sniffles and few shuddering gasps, and Puck flexed his arms to pull her as close as humanly possible. When her breathing slowed to normal, he pulled away a little, only to find that she was gripping his shirt so hard that her knuckles were white.

She blushed heavily when he removed her hands from his shirttail and held them gently in between their bodies. She blushed heavily, looking down at her ruined shoes. "I'm so, so sorry..." she whispered quietly. "I... you must think I'm crazy, right?"

He chuckled, then bit back the laughter. She was serious. How could anyone think that Emma was anything less than perfect? Suddenly, Puck wanted nothing more than to punch the bastard who made Emma so insecure like this. "Emma... of course not. I think that Azimio and Karofsky, however, should run as fast as humanly possible the next time they see me or-"

"Puck. Y-you really care that much? I mean... no one's ever, umm, protected me like that before. Thank you. For not writing me off as insane when a little slushie got on my shirt and I had a panic attack-" she was halfway through explaining herself and rambling and working herself into a thankful frenzy when Puck decided enough was enough.

And Emma Pillsbury was immediately silenced by Puck's lips crashing onto hers. At first she was hesitant, her hands pushing ineffectively on his chest, but Puck persisted. He knew she wanted this, he knew from her desperate clinging to him, her rantings about being crazy that she needed this. And then she began kissing back, her arms circling around Puck's neck. Their lips were pressed firmly together, and Puck's tongue darted out to rub lightly against her bottom lip, begging for entrance.

She abided quickly, opening her mouth and letting Puck's tongue begin it's exploration of her mouth. She moaned into the kiss, and Puck instinctively pulled her closer, lifting her onto her tip toes. God, she was so small. His hands moved from her hips to her back and then still lower, resting against her backside. They were as close as possible, tongues dueling and touching and caressing the whole time. From the way she leaned and responded to his every touch proved his suspicions right- she wasn't too experienced with this.

But that just made Puck want her even more. His hands tangled in her perfect hair, bits of slushie still trapped in her curls making his fingers a little sticky. At this, he laughed and smiled into the kiss, and she pulled away, embarrassed, her hands flying to the back of her head and her face growing redder. "Oh, oh gosh, Puck... I'm sorry I-"

"Emma, Emma, whoa, whoa..." he looped an arm around her waist, pulling her against him. Her face was still flushed red, and she was quick to bury it into his shirt collar, shyly giggling. He tilted her chin so she met his gaze, and she gave a nervous smile that made him lean down to kiss her lips, more gently this time. "You're beautiful, Em. Slushie and all..."

"Puck..." her tone was serious, sadder now, and he immediately wanted to fix it again. And to kiss her more. That was nice too. "This is wrong, Puck... we... we shouldn't be... doing... this." The last word was barely audible, and the way she clung to him completely contradicted her words. She buried her face further into the crook of his neck, never wanted to let go. How could she let this go? Over the past few months, Noah Puckerman had slowly but surely become everything she ever wanted.

He looked down at her, holding her fragile frame in his arms, and he felt complete. For the first time in a long time, Puck realized that she was all he'd ever want. Age never mattered to him. And now he realized it didn't mean anything to her, either.

"Hey," he tilted her chin with his index finger so that their eyes met. He kissed her , chastely, and held her tighter as her eyes began to fill with tears. "I-I can't do this, Puck... it's wrong." Then, after a long pause filled with pleading glances, "Isn't it?"

"I could feel more right," Puck sighed honestly, "I don't ever want to let you go, Emma. You... you're amazing. And I can't give this up, not now, not so fast... you're special. You're different... and I think that over these couple of months... God, I fell in love with you..." his voice trailed off, and she gasped, pulling away.

She turned her back to him, and began crying silently. Hadn't she used up all her tears today already? What was she supposed to do? Her mind and her heart always conflicted, and Emma was tired of letting her mind win. Again, and again, and again, ruining any chance of a relationship that presented itself. No matter what happened, Emma always got scared. Whenever she got those feelings, the ones that told her that she was in love, she would run. Why risk the heartache? She'd had enough of it already. She turned around, his arms still outstretched, as if he was reaching just for her. As if they had been made to hold me, she thought to herself, another onslaught of tears falling from her eyes. Leave it to Emma Crazy-Off-Her-Ass Pillsbury to fall in love with a student.

Not just any student. Noah I-Want-You-In-My-Pants Puckerman. How did this happen? How could she have let this happen? "No one loves me, Noah," she whispered as she turned away, her feet clacking down the hallway. He wanted so badly to run after her. He wanted to hold her and never let her go, but somehow his feet felt stuck to the floor.

"Wait!" He out to her, helplessly, and she turned to face him. Her expression was so pained that it almost caused Puck physical hurt. He needed her, couldn't she see that? "Come back, Emma, just... I need you. I need you, and I love you, and I would never think you're crazy- you're too goddamn perfect to be crazy!" he felt a surge of anger tear through him, and he didn't know why. Why was she so fucking stubborn? The first woman he had ever truly loved, and he knew that she loved him back, so why was she turning away? Why was she so afraid- he would never hurt her. He couldn't even if he tried.

"W-what...?" from the opposite end of the hallway, he could see the tears falling unchecked down her cheeks. He felt them on his own, but brushed them away with the back of his hand, angrier than ever. How could she see him cry and still turn away? He could give her everything she would ever need. Love. Care. He never used to even contemplate those things. All he wanted was some hot sex, another hookup, another woman to add to his stupid List. But then, leave it to her to walk in and change everything, only to walk out because of it.

"I love you! I mean, at first? At first... at first this was me just trying to get one more cougar, another hookup, this, you, it was nothing, Emma, nothing! And then I was with you. A lot. I talked to you, and spent time with you, and I saw you... as this whole different person! You changed me- you changed me because now it's impossible for me to want anybody else! Only you, Emma, you're the only one I want now because you showed me what love is. What it feels like... to feel things and, God, now you're running away because you think that no one can love you? I used to be powerful, the type of guy who doesn't love anything... who doesn't care, who he hurts along the way or what other people feel, what he feels because he's just looking out for number one. But... you think that you can walk in here... walk into my life and change it around and make it good again only to leave? I can love you, Emma! I will love you, I have too, because I can't ever imagine hurting you..." his voice took on a softer tone, a more gentle facade, as she walked closer to him.

He could see her crying, trembling. "I'm so fucking furious, right now, at everything... at the fact that you think that this can never work out, just because you're afraid of trying...? Y-you think that you're protecting yourself, by doing this, by walking away but I need you. You... you saved me, Emma... and you're taking that away, and I'm so mad but all I want to do right now is hold you, and tell you it's alright and just how much I'll always love you because you're crying."

And suddenly, Emma was in Puck's arms again. Trembling, crying relentlessly and quietly into his chest. "Puck... t-that... you..."

"Forget it all, Emma, if it's hurts you to try," he said, trying and failing to bite back his own emotions. "Because I love you so much that I'm never going to cause you any hurt. You've already had enough of it to last a lifetime." Through his words he held her as tight as possible, just in case this was the last time he ever would.

She gripped him too, holding the cloth of his shirt mercilessly in her clenched fists. "I'm so afraid, Puck... I'm so afraid... but I want to try." She swallowed thickly, his eyes widening in hope as she met his gaze. Her bottom lip trembled, "I-I... all I ever wanted was for somebody to love me, and that has always been so scary to me... the thought of never, ever wanting someone else because one person is all you'll ever need. I thought that it wouldn't be a problem, for me, I had enough problems already... And then, you get all you ever wanted, only to find out that it wasn't true. I wanted to be loved, Puck... and I thought that was the hard part. But falling in love back, all this time I thought it would be easy... but it's so terrifying I feel like I can't breathe," she buried her face in his collar before choking out the next words.

"And then you think it's over, that the fear has to stop, and you just don't want to get hurt... so you turn away, and that should be it, but you realize just as your leaving that trying to go on without this person... without you... is so much more terrifying than falling in love... because even though it's scary, as long as you're the one holding me... I don't think I'll ever want to stop falling."

A/N: The end :) For some reason, this popped into my head the other day, and I just HAD to get it down on paper ;) Puck and Emma are my secret 'ship (guilty pleasure, right here!) I'm usually SUCH a Wemma dork that it's ridiculous but for some reason Puck and Emma seem too cute to pass up sometimes :) I tried to make Puck in character, but I'm pretty sure that failed. Also, I hate to use such "colorful language" in my fics, but Puck will be Puck... LOL. So please Review! Thanks! -Liv