This is a four chapter work; I'll probably be posting the chapters within a few days of each other for balance. I just want to emphasize the tags beforehand; this is dark at times and features a whole lot of self-disgust, internalised sexism, Kid struggling with himself, and features literally running away from your problems.
The name of the story comes from the book Alpha and Omega by K. Webster. I know nothing about the book I just googled omega quotes and liked this one *blushes*
More discussion of internalised sexism and the society Kid is from at the end if you want more information before reading.
I hope you enjoy!
Law groaned, one hand coming up to grab his hip, and Kid felt as if he'd been struck by lightning.
'What the fuck am I doing?' he thought, panic racing through his system.
He was having sex with an Alpha, or about to. He wasn't even supposed to be alone with Law at this point. Their acquaintance had been- tolerable when it was just chance meetings in bars, conversations, helping the Alpha get back to his submarine in one piece. But he should have realised what was happening when Law asked for his number instead of giving it without hesitation.
When they were talking on the phone for hours most days.
When Law started asking him to join him on supply runs to keep him company.
When he started offering to keep him company while he did his supply runs.
When they started making plans to spend time together in the next harbour days before actually arriving there.
When Law kissed him on one of said gathering trips, and he kissed him back without even thinking about it because he'd been wanting to kiss him for weeks.
When they forgot all about gathering and spent the rest of the day touching each other sprawled out on his coat on the grass until they both fell asleep.
When Law invited him to stay the night.
When it became a habit he didn't even think about and looked forward to.
When Killer started asking questions.
When Killer didn't even know where he was while they were on land because he lied to him.
He'd lied about his whereabouts to his brother. His Alpha, the head of his family in their prolonged absence from their mother. Killer didn't even know where he was right now. If something happened, Killer's only means of reaching him was via snail phone. He wouldn't be able to find him if he scoured the whole island because he'd never dream he was on some other ship, in somebody's bed.
He should've introduced Law to Killer. He should've told Killer he was- taken by the Alpha.
Should've asked Killer to talk to Law and arrange courtship or the other way around.
Not form a relationship with Law without his Alpha's consent and knowledge.
Without Law speaking to the head of his family, whether that was Killer in substitute or their mother directly.
It should've- it should've been monitored. He shouldn't've been alone with Law at any point after they'd established they were interested in each other.
But here he was, half-naked on top of Law in the Alpha's bed. Having let himself be kissed and touched and mated without his family's knowledge.
He'd offered himself freely like a whore in a brothel.
He was worse than the whores.
He knew the customs. He had family to speak for him, to give consent, to evaluate the interested Alpha. And he had chosen not to follow the rules. To turn a blind eye to the way Law looked at him from the very beginning as if he didn't notice. Ignored it all as if he didn't know Law wanted him when it was obvious he did. Kid might not be experienced with relationships, but he knew lust and longing when he saw it.
A whore had no choice, no other option. They were alone and desperate.
He was neither.
He was just a slut.
But then he already knew that.
He shuddered, shaking off the thought as he got up and grabbed his trousers. He couldn't stomach it at the moment, not after this realisation- he could deal with it later. He had to deal with it later. He tied his sash around his waist quickly and buckled the belt as quickly as he could with his shaking hands. He had to hurry or he was going to- he didn't know what. Scream, throw things, attack Law, or – worse than all – break down and cry. He couldn't handle the humiliation of crying in front of the Alpha. He'd rather die.
Law was sitting up, frowning, but Kid couldn't bring himself to look at him. If he was disgusted with himself, what did Law think? About an Omega who didn't even introduce him to his Alpha before letting himself be mated? He couldn't imagine what things the Alpha wanted to say to him but refrained because he was obviously benefitting from his promiscuity. He couldn't even recall how often he'd let Law touch him, how often he'd let the Alpha mate him. Probably over a dozen times. Maybe dozens of times. He'd enjoyed it.
He shuddered, almost dropping the bandolier before he managed to fasten it. He was aware of Law speaking to him, asking what was wrong, trying to get him to talk to him, but he was too caught up in the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions to hear him.
Law grabbed his arm as he was pulling his coat on, other hand reaching for his face as if trying to make him look at him, and Kid shook him off, growling a warning. He'd never tried or wanted to try stopping Law from touching him before.
He grabbed his boots off the floor and ran, desperate to get away before he did something stupid. He had to get away from the Alpha, from himself, from the fear, terrors, and memories crowding ever closer like a ticking time bomb. He had to find some place where he could unleash them without harming anyone. He'd hurt too many people from not being in control.
He had to get away so he could think. Remember, forget, understand-
Think, think, think, think, go-
Kid's island is very backwards. Omegas are to stay at home, have and raise children, take care of the infirm and elderly, do as they're told, and obey their Alphas every whim. It's similar to the standards of the Victorian era except instead of it being male over female it's Alpha over Omega. 'Omega' is a dirty word. Omegas sometimes are not even given names. If they are, they might not be referred to by their name, only by their gender.
Omegas don't have a choice in their mating; the head of the family (in most cases the Alpha parent, any sort of same gender relationship being frowned upon) consents to and arranges the mating. An Omega can express their wishes if they're interested in someone but if the one they're interested is not considered suitable for some reason it is instantly denied. An Alpha who's interested in an Omega and has something the Omega's family wants (money, family ties, influence, certain skills, etc.) is almost guaranteed to get the Omega regardless of the Omega's view of them.
Before the mating is announced and takes place there is a trial relationship period (courtship or courting) where the Alpha and Omega spend time together under careful watch by family members or relatives. They're not allowed to be alone together and no touching but handholding and greeting/farewell kisses are allowed. The Omega is to be 'pure' when the mating takes place, not having been touched beforehand.
At the same time, any Alpha who finds an unprotected Omega in heat and mates them has them for life. 'Rape' is not something they believe exists. Omegas are considered free game if not protected. An Omega is believed to be constantly prepared and ready for sex; being in heat is not considered relevant. An Omega who is raped outside of their heat is no longer pure; they're soiled and dirtied and unfit for mating. The family might force them into slavery or prostitution to 'pay' for having let themselves be sullied if they don't throw them out on the streets outright; it's always the Omega's fault and not the Alpha's who raped them. If they don't fight the Alpha off or somehow overpower them it's their fault, regardless of age, sex, or stature.
This sort of thinking is considered barbararic by most of the world. As has been mentioned by Law in other works of the series most consider Omegas precious and to be cherished, not hurt. They are rarer than the other genders, especially the males, and in many countries Omegas are the ones in high positions in government and religion, and even the Marines. There's a notable lack of Omegas among pirates, mostly because of the hugely pro-Alpha, macho environment and culture associated with them. Many Omegas who are pirates hide the fact they're Omegas as Kid does until after the timeskip (I haven't quite worked out the details yet). In some places they are automatically considered royalty or gods, and they certainly always choose their partners themselves. Hurting an Omega has grave consequences and punishment and rape, kidnapping, and forced mating have been punished by the criminal's death. When death isn't the punishment it is often called for by the Omega or those closest to them. Reparations also have to be made, and an Omega is never forced to mate or ever see the one who hurt them again. Them wanting to stay with the one who hurt them for any reason causes shock and outrage.
Kid's mother very much disagrees with and is against the backwards thinking. She's had to deal with similar stigma because of her personal choices (mating only with other Alphas, always carrying the children, etc.). She tried to shield Kid from it as much as she could, but in such a sexist sociey he was going to hear disparaging comments and face hypersexualization from the day he was born. His mother's mate very much agreeing with these views without ever sharing them with his mate or anyone but Kid himself makes the problem even worse. Not only was he spoken down to and hypersexualised by the majority of his society and peers but by his father figure.
Regarding head of the family and Alphas: In Kid's case, his mother is the head of the family. As Kid isn't mated at this point in the story, the head of the family is his Alpha; the Alpha who speaks for him and makes decisions on his behalf like any parent or legal guardian (as an Omega in their society Kid never reaches legal majority). In their mother's absence, Killer, as his eldest brother and only family member nearby, becomes the head of his family and his Alpha. When Kid and Law mate, Law becomes his Alpha and the head of his family.
In the rest of the world, it generally doesn't work like this, which is why it doesn't occur to Law to 'ask permission' or speak to anyone but Kid himself. Many of their problems lie in the cultural differences because both assume they come from the same background.
If you want to know more, ask away!