I don't deserve to be with this woman. To be brutally honest, nobody else deserves to be with her either.
Every time I look into her eyes, I always think of what it should be, what it would be, and what it could be. Nothing but blind optimism standing in my way. But I know I'm better than this. The girl of my dreams is what I aspire to be.
Serious. Brave. Dedicated. Hardworking. These words and more best describe the girl of my dreams, Lucina. She's the daughter of Chrom, the prince of Yliesse. I am forever indebted to Chrom, thanking him for all he has done for me. Would he ever thank me for being the boyfriend of his precious daughter, or will he chastise me, just like most fathers do with their child-in-law? The very thought of it is quite unnerving...
Today I was playing a chess game with Lucina, the girl of my dreams. My pawns were white, and her pawns were black. Opposites attract?
"Ready to get your butt kicked?" I asked Lucina, engaging her in some good old trash talk. If I ever want to work on a potential relationship with Lucina, then trash talk would be a way to go.
"You say that every time before we start a chess match, and you know what happens," smiled Lucina. Indeed I know, and she knows as well - I've been on a losing streak as of late, I've seemingly lost my rhythm when it comes to playing chess. And as a tactician, I have no excuse for losing any sort of rhythm.
I make my first move, moving the pawn in front of the queen up two spaces. Lucina responds by moving her pawn near mine. I take out her pawn, and then she moves another pawn towards my pawn, ready to capture it at any given second. Not wanting to risk sacrificing a pawn (which may have little value in the game of chess), I move my bishop two spaces diagonally, and Lucina moves the pawn in front of her king up two spots.
I think I'm in for a really good one - and I believe a possible relationship with Lucina would be a really good one too, if the cards play out.
"YOU want to date Lucina?" Dark Pit chuckled after I told him the possibility of me and Lucina being an item and going out and all the usual stuff couples do. He was rolling on the floor, laughing his butt off. Why is he laughing, it's not like he was ever in a relationship of any sort! "Oh man, that is TOO funny!"
"Not funny at all..." I replied, feeling a bit insecure. Dark Pit wasn't the only individual to told of my presumably ill-fated possibility - Sonic, Diddy Kong, and King Dedede all laughed at me for my thinking. What gives them the right to mock and ridicule me? Sonic has a shaky relationship with Amy Rose, Diddy Kong has yet to experience love, and King Dedede's character flaws, such as his greed, will prevent him from ever finding a girlfriend. They should be laughing at themselves...but then again, I should be doing the same for my idiotic optimism.
"Sure dude, keep on believing. Won't change the fact that you'll never get Lucina as your soulmate!"
He may be right, he may be wrong. But my intentions are that he is right.
Now back to the chess game, and Lucina just made a very unwise move - she had moved her queen to capture my bishop, but since her queen was greatly unprotected, I took advantage and captured the queen with my trusty bishop. Her move made me wonder...
...what if Lucina is an unwise person? What if, her seriousness is all a facade, and deep down inside she's shallow? I can't simply bear the burden of going out with a shallow woman, for I feel that in order to be the perfect girl, you must have some qualities of depth within you. You can't be one-dimensional, you have to have qualities that will jump out, and keep your romantic relationship going.
Sometimes, I wonder myself if I'm one-dimensional. Yes, I'm a great strategist, but other than that, what else can I claim? Am I athletic? Absolutely not. Am I brave? Only when I choose to be. Am I funny? My humor is honestly not the best, but humor is overrated in my eyes. Why does it matter if you're funny or not, that shouldn't dictate whether or not you should begin a relationship with a person.
"I'm starting to regret that move..." Lucina shook her head, dismayed that her queen is no longer in her possession. Will I ever have Lucina in my possession? Unless I make wise choices, I won't.
"No worries Lucina, you can always bounce back from your mistakes," I grinned. I'm already making a mistake - following after a girl I may never get.
"The thing about love is, it can be like a battlefield," Zelda explained to me after asking her opinion on Lucina and I being a couple. This battlefield comparison hits home for me, for I've fought in a war previously at Chrom's side. "In a relationship, there can be ups and downs, positives and negatives, joy and heartache. It can get problematic at times, but what matters is how you handle and cope with your problems."
"So what you're saying is, love isn't perfect?" I inquired. Do I have to be perfect to win Lucina's heart? Being perfect must take a lot of hard work, and I don't think I'm quite cut out for it...
"Nobody is perfect, we all make our mistakes. But if you can bounce back from your mistakes, then anything is possible."
Anything is possible...anything is possible. If I can put my mind to it, then anything is possible. Those three words might build up the confidence I will need to ask out Lucina, but I wonder if it will be enough confidence...
For the first time in what may have seemed to be forever, I was winning against Lucina in a chess game. She captured four of my chess pieces, and I have captured six. Momentum is now working in my favor. Momentum, it has two meanings. One meaning applies to the product of the mass and velocity of an object. The other meaning applies to energy and strength. Will I have the energy to keep a relationship with Lucina going, and will I have the strength to carry the relationship through times of despair, fear, and any other detrimental factor? Or will I be lacking in both qualities?
"It feels great to be winning for once, getting a bit tired of losing all the time," I remarked. And what a feeling it was - it's like a feeling of euphoria and bliss, everything is working in your favor and it seems like you can't screw anything up...anything but a relationship.
"Keep saying stuff like that, and you'll might lose," replied Lucina. I may lose in the game of love, but in the game of chess? I'm already winning, and it's awesome.
"A marriage is one of life's greatest pleasures!" gleamed Olimar, after discussing with him my long-term plans to marry Lucina. "Always knowing that you have a woman to be standing at your side when you're down, and knowing she'll always be there for you when you need her the most!" I could have asked out Lucina during the war, and even get the chance to marry her, but I didn't. I just didn't know what to say - what if I say the wrong words, and hurt Lucina's feelings? Chrom would be greatly displeased with me...
"What if your wife was never with you, and she was distant?" I asked out of utter intrigue. Can't hurt to ask Olimar any more questions, since he's married and has a family, he possess a great deal of romantic insight, both short-term and long-term.
"Hoo boy, that's an aspect of marriage I'd rather not get into. It can be a dark aspect, depending on what your viewpoint may be. A distant spouse means more wear and tear on your body, mind, and soul, and I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone!"
Maybe I'm the only person excluded from "anyone".
I'm now nearing a dominant win against Lucina. All she has left now is her king. Me, on the other hand, have six pawns, two bishops, a rook, a queen, and a king to use at my disposal. Today must be an off day for Lucina - is it possible to have an off day in a relationship, or in the game of love in general?
For the next turns, I spent my time putting Lucina's king in a checkmate. I did everything in my power to do just that; I moved my queen, bishop, and to a less extent, my rook, just to get a checkmate, but Lucina refuses to budge. This is how I would envision trying to win her heart, using whatever resources I have to win, but straying farther and farther away from winning at all.
Alas, our chess match ended in a stalemate, when I moved one of my pawns forward, and my queen and bishop were a couple of squares away from Lucina's king. This is how I would envision our relationship - ending in a stalemate, with no clear winner in sight. Nobody wins.
"Good game," remarked Lucina. And what a game it was - even though it became horribly mismatched near the end, it certainly went down to the wire, though teh result is not what I expected. "Shall we have a rematch tomorrow?"
"You know I'm always up for a chess match," I grinned. One thing's for certain though...
...there is going to be a winner, one way or another.