Mello's pov
Please forgive me Matt, I should have never let you help me. I should have known something like this would happen, now you're dead and it's all my fault. I punch the wall as I start to get angry at myself again. I feel the pain shoot through my hand "That's gonna leave a bruise." I say to myself. I half expected to hear Matt's voice respond with something about how I need to control my anger but then I remember he isn't here anymore. Now that I think about it I'm really going to miss all those little comments. If you would've asked me if I cared about him this morning I would have denied caring for him with all my strength. Now that he's really gone I've realized just how much he meant to me. I guess something's you just don't appreciate until you've truly lost them. I mean being part of the mafia sure I saw death all the time but this is different. Those were people I never knew or cared about but Matt was different, I knew him almost all of my life. He was my best friend, I know he would always do anything he could to help me no matter how dangerous. When I really think about it, if things were a little different I probably would have done anything for him. If I had just stayed and never joined the mafia we could both be happy. I was the one who ruined both of our lives, me leaving that day led to where we are now not just me and Matt, maybe it affected everyone. I mean look at us now, L, Matt and Beyond are all dead and me and Near are enemies. Wow, I really ruined a lot of lives over the years. I laugh at the memory that comes next, the memory of the day I told Matt about how I blamed myself for the way we all ended up. He kept saying how we were all messed up from the very being and how none of it was ever my fault. He was wrong though this is my fault there's not even anyone else to blame, I mean I can't blame Matt for his death he was helping me. "I'm so sorry Matt, I knew this mission was dangerous but I let you come with me anyway." I said to the empty room. What am I doing? I know he's not the slightest bit worried about me wherever he is now. For once in my life I don't think I'm strong enough to get through this. "Please Matt, if you can hear me work some kind of miracle and make me die too." I say to the room again. I really must be losing my mind I know he can't hear me. I didn't really think anything would happen but then something did. Out of no where my heart just stops. Never mind I guess Matt can still hear me, honestly I'm surprised he listened. That's the last thought I get in before everything goes black and quiet. When I open my eyes next it feels like I just woke up from a long dream, like none of that life ever existed. I sit up and take in the scenery around me. We're in the sky and everything is such a beautiful orange-gold color, it's perfect. I go to stand up and notice that I'm walking on the air, that's going to take some getting used to. "Hey Mells." I hear that wonderful voice I missed so much call from behind me. "Hey Matt, good to see you without all the bullet holes." I say to Matt. "Yeah don't remind me about that." He said the smile on his face didn't falter even mentioning his death. "So… how did you manage to get me killed?" I asked because I'm pretty sure Matt wasn't supposed to do that. I would think that it would be frowned upon to kill someone else because they miss you. "Well I don't really know I just heard you say that and I thought 'I wish I could get him here'. Well, I don't know I think I had some help from some god or something but you're here now that's all that matters." Matt said seeming quite confused himself. "Well, anyway now I'm here and I'm never going to leave your side again." I say to him. I don't think I've smiled this much since we were kids. I forgot how good it feels to be happy and to have nothing to worry about. "I missed that smile glad to see it's still there after so long." Matt says to me. "Well it's been a long time since I had time to be happy in that chaotic world." I say. "Well, we'll never have to worry about that again." Matt says as he sits down to look at the sunset right in front of us. "I missed you Matt." I say as I join him. "I missed you too, Mells." Matt says. Well I guess this was my fault after all, I caused both of our smiles. I caused us both to die and end up here together. I'm so glad I left you all those years ago Matt so that I could be here with you now and forever.