The one day that I actually felt like my world was going well the inevitable happened. My best friend had turned for the worst and died in the hospital that night. That was the beginning of a really long school year. A school year I never thought I would recover from, if I even made it through.
Evan was the greatest. He always knew what was wrong with me, he was the only one I could ever trust. I could trust him even in the lowest of lows and yet that did not seem to matter. He was my best friend. A friend that I had known at the time was completely irreplaceable. My life had been shattering and until that long day and night at the hospital I had thought it was bad. That was until a few days after he had died. Once he died I was lost. Everything had gotten so much worse but I did not seem to notice or care. I had no idea who I was without Evan. I had no idea what to do, or even who to talk to. Everything was crumbling yet I did not care whatsoever.
I tried to remember all the good times that we had shared. The time he broke his arm because we were chasing each other and he ran into the mailbox. There were so many memories that we had shared together. I was not ready to let that go. Every moment of everyday I was in my own world just trying to remember everything and anything I could about Evan. They way he walked, the way he talked, the distinct scent that he had. He was my best friend and I could not just let him go, he died too young.
That year I had let myself go. I just did not care about what had happened to me. I went to school, participated in my normal activities, and just created my own bubble of existence. Even when school started I pretended everything was fine, and to my surprise my act seemed to work. My other friends had no idea what happened over that summer nor had they noticed the sudden change in my behavior. Yet, I pretty much did not mind.
As the year passed on I just continued in my ways. Then I met a really nice guy in my animation class. He was funny and nice. He eventually asked me out. I have no idea why I said yes. And to this day I still have no idea why I had said yes. Things were going surprisingly well until he inevitably brought up Evan. There once was a time in my life that I had liked Evan and that he had liked me. WE had decided that we did not want to ruin our friendship though. But anyway back to this new guy. As he started to ask more about some of the issues I had, they were some things that I did not want to remember because it always reminded me of Evan, our relationship I knew was just not going to work. As nice as he was I just could not take it anymore. I knew I was only hurting him and myself. My bubble was a much better place to be in, and I needed it. I just wasn't ready to be me again. I needed that sense of security that I had when Evan was still here. Yet once he was the gone the only sense of security I could find was that of what my other friends would call my bubble. A world that I was oh so often lost in.