Four years had passed and he was finally done.
Jeff looked down at his graduation cap and contemplated his life. In the beginning it had all been so simple. The plan had been to earn his college degree and return to the life he left on pause as quickly and with as little effort possible, but his simple plan soon turned complicated. It seemed that along the way a change occurred and the life he once deemed perfect was no longer enough.
The beauty of having a plan was the fact that it acted as a map; navigating him through the hard times, especially when he would lose focus, but in the end the plan would save him from losing sight of his goal and of losing touch of who he was and what he stood for. Surprisingly enough, accepting that he had changed was not the hard part. It was something he suspected would happen from the very first day. He hadn't been deluded enough to think that a four year detour would not affect him, but he definitely had not expected the changes to be so big or life-changing.
Now it was up to him to draw up a new map. He contemplated many things, but ended up with more questions than answers.
Did he want to continue practicing law? If so, would he grovel for his old job or try his hand at a private practice? Could he still stomach representing the same sort of questionable and shady characters? Although, a more fitting question would be – would they want him to represent them? He hadn't gone completely soft, but there were thing that he could no longer bring himself to do. His ethics had once been far too flexible, and although they still could be stretched, there was a limit.
He blamed her for that.
Kissing Annie had been unexpected. The first time had been a mere debate tactic, but the second time there was no doubt about their feelings. Somehow he ended up taking a shine to the young overachiever and it seemed that she too was fond of him. Unfortunately, the easy part had been admitting his feelings, but dealing with the aftermath of such a revelation was not.
While everyone else enjoyed their summer, he spent his miserable as he tried to work up the nerve to call her. His days were spent on the couch watching television and practically stalking her on Facebook. She on the other hand had been busy, as she volunteered at a day camp, travelled to Spain with her parents, and even helped Shirley out at a church bake sale.
He knew that it was her way of dealing with things, by submerging herself in a flurry of activities in order to avoid dealing with the fact that they had a lot of things to discuss, but he figured that sooner or later they would have to face the music, as the new semester was due to start in a week.
The first day of class passed by quickly, and before he knew it they were all seated around what had become their study table. Shirley gushed about her kids; Pierce tried to not fall asleep; Abed and Troy were their unusual selves and anyone who ever tried to figure out the complex inner working of their bromance was just plain foolish. Britta seemed to be handling things maturely as she pulled him aside and forgave him for everything, as well as apologized for having let her competitive spirit get the best of her. She also explained that although she felt great affection for him, it was by no circumstances love.
"I can't explain it. I blurted out the first words that popped into my head. I just wanted to win so badly… I'm sorry Jeff, but I don't love you, at least not like that."
Having finally resolved that mess he felt lighter than he had all summer, but only partially, as his biggest predicament absent mindedly twirled a strand of her long hair around her finger as she shared with the rest of the group what he already knew.
"Barcelona was definitely my favorite. It's like the entire city is one huge work of art."
"You should come along with me next year. I'm thinking of traveling to Pamplona to run with the bulls," Britta insisted.
"That sounds really dangerous," Shirley added with wide-eyes, her overprotective motherly instincts kicking in.
"It's not that dangerous… I did it once," Pierce added, and then rubbed his behind, "although that damn bull did get me pretty hard, but hey, I'm still here."
Shirley only shook her head and pointed at him, "you could get rammed by a bull!"
"Only if you're not careful," Britta argued and then turned to Annie, "don't let them scare you, you're a fast runner."
He's not sure what else came after that as he lost track of the conversation, his attention solely focused on the strand she continued to twirl. He still remembered how soft her hair had been as he ran his fingers through it. There were even times when he laid in bed and swore he could feel the phantom caress of her small hands along his shoulders and across his back.
"Jeff?"
"Yo, dude…"
Snapping out of his thoughts, he found all eyes on him.
"What?"
"We asked you how your summer was."
"Oh… it was alright," he shrugged and slumped in his chair. "I cracked a whole new level of bejeweled, got wasted a few times with Abed and Troy, and just lazed around."
"You forgot the prank calls and the time you both dared me to run naked through the park."
"That too."
"Wait… and you guys didn't call me?" Pierce sounded genuinely put out.
Turning to Annie, Jeff tried his best to not flinch as their eyes finally met, "so, Spain?"
Taking the hint Annie nodded, giving him a small smile, as she continued talking about her trip long enough that even Pierce forgot about what he been mad about. He on the other hand could not forget about the almost obsessive thoughts running through his head.
Eventually the awkwardness faded into the background, as they were forced to spend a great deal of time together. The debate team alone guaranteed that at least three times a week they met up in the library to polish their arguments and research. Together they were a force to be reckoned with.
"I'm glad things are back to normal," she blurted out as they ate ice cream in his car.
They had just won a debate against a rival community college and were indulging in a sweet treat before heading back. He had to admit that he too was glad that things felt a lot more normal than before, although not everything was as it had once been.
He doubted it would ever be like that again.
The next three years passed by quickly and before he knew it they were sitting in the middle of a football field listening to the dean drone on about chapters ending and beginning. Thankfully for him it had been a short speech which he hadn't expected, but it seemed that the entire ceremony was full of surprises, as his name was called an hour ahead of schedule.
"Now, I know it's customary to have a guest speaker, but frankly we couldn't find anyone, so instead I've picked one student to come up here, and that student is Jeff Winger.
He felt like a deer that had been caught in the headlights, and he was pretty sure he looked like one. Looking around him, he noticed that he wasn't the only one surprised.
"Go on," Annie had urged him forward delicately, her small hand squeezing his arm, as she smiled encouragingly.
"I can't," he whispered.
"Why not? It's not like you suffer from stage fright. Just think of it as another debate."
"Except for the debate part," Britta added as she too urged him towards the stage.
"Stop acting like a woman and do it!"
"Pierce," Britta turned around to glare at him, "you can't say things like that….
"Hey," Annie whispered near his ear. "You can do this. You're Jeff Winger. You're awesome."
Fighting the urge to grab her face and kiss her, he stood on shaky legs and made his way to the microphone.
"Here goes nothing," he muttered under his breath.
As you start your journey, the first thing you should do is throw away that store-bought map and begin to draw your own….
Under normal circumstances public speaking was his thing, but standing in front of such a large crowd was definitely not normal. Miraculously the words had flowed from his mouth on their own accord, and in retrospect he couldn't help but marvel at how fittingly poignant they had been.
Don't spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that you miss the right one. Recognize that there will be failures, and acknowledge that there will be obstacles. But you will learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others since there is very little learning in success.
Many times along the way you're going to ask why. Why am I on this path? What is it all about? You'll ask yourself those questions in ten years and in twenty years as often as you're asking them now. The key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams. I was fortunate to find my passion early in life. But many people find theirs later on, and others never find it at all. And for some, their greatest passion is the search itself. But whether you've found your calling, or if you're still searching, passion should be the fire that drives your life's work.
Try never to be the smartest person in the room. And if you are, I suggest you invite smarter people … or find a different room. In professional circles it's called networking. In organizations it's called team building. And in life it's called family, friends, and community….
Sighing, he took one look at the large campus before him. The place he both hated and secretly loved. It had brought him heartache as well as headaches, but at the same time it had allowed him the opportunity to connect with six other lives that ended up changing his. How could anyone ever regret that?
He was more aware of the world now than he ever been, which wielded both positive and negative consequences, yet he was willing to deal with them if it meant never losing the sense that he was accepted, and not because of what car he drove or how much money he made, but rather because he was genuinely liked as a person… as himself.
"Penny for your thoughts."
Snapping out of his wayward thoughts, he found her coming towards him.
She had long discarded her robe and looked as pretty as a picture in her simple, but beautiful turquoise dress. Standing in front of him, she held out the year book the dean had given them all as a graduation present, even though they had all protested that it was better suited for high school than college.
"Sign my year book?"
Smirking, he took it from her as well as the pen she held out. "As long as you promise to sign mine too."
"No problem. Where is it?"
"I left it at home…" he spoke as he wrote, already regretting not having bothered to bring it with him.
He could sense the proximity between them shortening as she stepped closer. Her perfume assaulted his senses but in the most pleasant of ways.
"How about we meet for lunch tomorrow and I can sign it for you?"
Closing the year book he looked up to find her regarding him with wide eyes.
He could feel his heart beating rapidly, but he refused to back down. "Like a date?"
Far too much time had passed since that one night, but she was still deeply rooted in his heart. There was no doubt; his feelings were not a momentary distraction. They felt real and wholly palpable, and as his eyes met hers, he could also tell that they were mutual.
"Would you like it to be?"
A smile spread over his lips, "yeah, I would."
"Me too."
First there had been relief and then mirth, which was soon followed by laughter; the kind that surged from deep down inside, but once it died down, her cheeks turned an alluring shade of pink, as he stepped closer and wrapped one arm around her small waist. Bringing his other hand to her hair, he ran his fingers through it and tilted her face towards his in order to kiss her.
FIN