Disclaimer: WarioWare: Touched!, Ashley and Red are the brainchild of Nintendo. Lucy Reed and her cat are my creations, but I couldn't care less about them.
BEGGARS WOULD RIDE
The ritual devices had been assembled; candles lit, all outside light sources blocked off and parchments placed to the left and right of the altar. Ashley, clad in arcane ritual garb and wielding Red in his scepter guise, rang the bell to purify the air. The Infernal Names she read aloud, each echoed by her impish pet. Drinking from the chalice, she then turned counter-clockwise, pointing with her scepter to each cardinal point of the compass and calling forth the Dark Princes… getting as far as Belial before the doorbell to her mansion rang.
Muttering oaths at being interrupted, Ashley forged huffily into the foyer with Red in tow and flung open the front door. On the threshold stood a demure blond in her mid-twenties, holding a fluffy white tomcat in her arms and regarding the teenage witch with an expression of awe that bordered on fear.
"Ms. Ashley? Lucy Reed," stammered the young lady, her words hinting of a rehearsed speech gone down the tubes upon being put to the test. "It… it's been breaking my heart, the way I've never been able to sustain a meaningful relationship. I've been pining for my Prince Charming – a virtuous, strong, good-looking man who'd love me and stand by me forever and ever. People say you've got special talents and stuff, I was hoping you could…"
Ashley held up one delicate, pale hand, hushing the visitor. All annoyance seemed to have left her – the icy demeanor she previously projected was now replaced by an expression of vague amusement. A ghost of a smile (or was it a smirk?) hovered on her perfect lips as she gestured with her scepter, this flourish engulfing Lucy and her cat in an umbrella of color.
As the light faded, Lucy rubbed her eyes and noticed that Ashley was gone, the mansion door now shut. All confusion soon left her, however, when she turned to look where her cat had leapt from her arms. There, in the feline's place, stood a tall, dark, handsome man with movie-star features, bulging biceps, broad shoulders, sculpted abs and a soccer-player's marvelously toned legs.
Mad with joy, Lucy squealed and rushed to his arms, not once noticing the awkward, uncomfortable look he wore nor the fact that her passionate embrace was being returned less than enthusiastically. It was only when things got a little too passionate that she finally realized the reason for her newfound beau's discomfort.
The anguished caterwauling of a woman totally regretting her prior decision to get her cat neutered shattered the quiet of the evening. Somewhere deep inside the gloomy mansion, Ashley giggled as she resumed her eldritch rites.
THE END