Mom my butt doesn't talk!
My life's messed up. Everything started last week in my birthday party, when some kid for some retarded reason ruined my life.
This kid that I didn't even know was holding some kind of those stupid toys that you press a button and it says something completely random, and so this kid pull out a prank on me.
We were at the table with the cake in front of me and I was about to blow the candles when the freaking kid got up close to my buttocks and pressed the button and to my luck the toy said something like "sorry I farted" so then the kid ran away laughing, while I was standing there having the most embarrassing moment of my life.
I blushed, and the only thing I could think about was something like " when I see that boy I'm going to making him fart till it hurts", so then I came back from my imagination and saw everybody staring at me, like saying "blow the candles!", but I couldn't move knowing that my girlfriend just heard that.
The next day I got ready for school and went to the bus stop, when I got in the bus like five rows behind me was that little silly kid from yesterday sitting with this other buff looking g guy.
I knew that I couldn't just go back there grab him and punch him when that other kid could even stop my dad, so I just had to wait till his bodyguard would leave him alone for a while so I could fix this problem.
He was about 12 or maybe 11 years old but age didn't matter, I wanted my reputation back. I was sitting in seventh hour in my social studies class waiting to see that boy, and I think after what was going to happen he would need therapy, and I wouldn't be happy to be the therapist.
It was time to go home and I didn't do anything in the entire day about the problem, and during the way home the big guy was next to him again. My bus stop is almost the last one but when I saw the kid getting off I could see it was about three blocks away from my house, I got an idea and to proceed I had to get off in this stop to see where he lives so someday I could pull out a prank on him.
He lives in a white house with gardens in the sides and a dog house, that house was kind of familiar, but it didn't matter now so I just walked home the rest of the way.
My mom was cooking dinner and my dad was watching TV in the sofa, I said hi and walked into my room and lay down in the bed, when I was about to go to sleep when someone knocked on my door and o rapidly woke and opened the door.
I found my mom holding a bunch of papers and with a face of excitement that I didn't like that much, I asked my mom what was she doing and quickly she sit down on my chair and pulled out a paper that talked about people with supposed talking arms and legs but there was this one article about talking butts!, I managed a smile and asked her what was this, she said "oh dear don't worry we'll find the right doctor".
I could see some papers about a bunch of books of world records, some papers with names of hospitals for special people and a bunch of papers of various circuses around the world.
My mind filled with fear, answered "mom my butt doesn't talk!", and she replied "oh my, the first symptoms are happening" so I just lay down again and tried to forget everything but then my mom got a call, she was talking to a "doctor" about my "problem".
I took the phone out of her hands and repeated "mom my bottom doesn't talk", but no she didn't give up, she just said something like "ok sweetie ill talk to you later" or something so I ran and sat down with my dad.
He looked at me weird and after that he said, "I love you son but I can't live with a son with a magical butt", so I went upstairs to my room upset and continued with my miserable life. Will continue…..