A/N: Many a years has it been since I posted here. Okay, so really it's been more like three. But still this process is a lot more confusing and complicated than I remember. Anywhatsits, here is a fic of mine written in about April and posted to my LJ, which I have still yet to figure out how to use properly, so I'm here looking for some response and crit. Its focused on Katie's character, following her break up with Danny, and going into the farce of a relationship with Freddie, which I am still upset about how that ended. The very end is supposed to be the set up and start of Katie's video diary break up with Danny. T for Katie's naughty swearing. Read on, you readers you.
Summary: Following Katie's discovery of Danny's infidelity and leading up to her relationship with Freddie.
Katie gives herself one night to cry over Danny.
It's less time than she took for her last boyfriend after that whole mess in middle school with him going after Ems, but Katie figures it should be enough.
After all, Danny was a major jerk off and she should be beyond glad to get rid of the greasy fuck who was crap at football and crap at everything else.
But he'd had years of her life. Years she spent styling her hair and practicing her coy smiles in the mirror before dates. She'd given him kisses, winks, laughs, all of them wasted on Danny. A million moments of her life she'd never get back because she'd fucking wasted it on a useless moron who wasn't smart enough to know not to post pictures of him with his face buried in some slut's tits on a public website.
She takes one night, though, to think about those moments she won't get back.
Katie spends it in the bath, locked up for two hours in a letting her tears dribble into the tepid water. James comes by four times demanding to be let in for the toilet, but she tells him to fuck off or she'll tell Dad that he's been slacking off punishment reps by using the five pound weights instead of the fifteen. He tries to pick the lock but Katie's smarter than that. She brought a chair into the room and has it pressed up against the knob. The keyhole is blocked by a wash cloth and James will have to piss in the kitchen sink.
When she gets out, she towels off and wipes a clear path in the mirror. The brown eyes that look back are lined in red, with purple bags under the lashes and she can still see the tear streaks on her face. Her shoulders are slumped downward in a hunch that speaks of defeat, of insecurity. Katie observes her damp red hair, drying into messy waves, and the roundness of her face. Emily's identical profile appears in the front of her mind. Katie feels her shoulders fall even more when she thinks about Emily's pointed chin, her flat stomach and the shape of her sister's legs. Usually the differences in the twins are minute. They're easy to miss, unless you're standing up close. But Katie looks further down at her body and thinks of the way her clothes are fuller than Emily's.
"It's no wonder Danny went after that whore," Katie spits at her reflection. "You look like shit."
She immediately regrets it, and turns away from the mirror. Determinately, she begins scrubbing at the tear marks on her cheeks. She forces one corner of her mouth upwards in a smirk, retraining her face to exude confidence. Then she goes through a painstaking process of shaving, plucking, moisturizing and primping herself into perfection. It's nearly an hour until she's able to meet her eyes in the mirror without wanting to undress and slink back into the tub for another cry.
"I'm Katie Fitch, and I'm better than you, bitch," she tells herself, posing with one hand on her hip.
Satisfied by it all, she pulls the drain on the tub, and watches the water swirl until the last drop disappears.
The next morning is a Friday, and she goes to college like she's supposed to. She's going to do what she does every day and she's not going to let anyone know how she's still burning inside from that fucking skank picture. Normalcy, she reminds herself, is the key to it all. In red tights with a short black skirt, Katie swishes her hips like she's the hottest girl at college. Because she is the hottest girl in college, next to- along with Effy. Katie Fitch rules these halls, and no dickfuck of a boyfriend could mess with that. When Katie sees Emily looking off toward the lockers down the corridor she reels her back into line, just like she always does. Naomi is leaning against one of the metal lockers, her brow furrowed in concentration as she reads from a book. Cook is there, eyeing the hem of the blonde's skirt and waggling his eyebrows. How revolting. If it were her he was looking at, Katie knows she'd tell him to fuck off and strut in the opposite direction. But Naomi puts up with it, exchanging insults with the pig- and even smiling, for fuck's sake- until he laughs and wanders away. Katie watches her sister, noting the way she perks up when it's clear Naomi's alone.
"Emily," Katie says sharply when Emily takes two steps in her direction.
Her twin looks away from the blue lockers ahead with wide-eyed innocence. "What, Katie? I'm going for a drink at the fountain. You want me to ask permission?"
Katie wants to pull the bitch's hair out for that lie. They used to have no secrets. They used to be close, and Emily loved it as much as she did. But Katie can feel her sister stretching, pulling, yearning to put distance between them and it makes the burn from Danny's cheating heat up into an agonizing ache. She knows she's got to drop Danny. Katie knows she's better than the girl who lets her boyfriend cheat and get away with it. But if she's going to be without a boyfriend for the first time since pre-adolescence, she's got to have Emily to love her. Katie knows she's not worth shit if she hasn't got someone else, and Emily's just about the only person to stick around through all Katie's abuse and put up with her. Ems is the best person Katie knows.
So Katie retaliates for the lie, for Emily's constant need to pull away, for her sarcasm, by forcing her back into her place.
"Fucking hell, Emily, don't lie to me! I need to know now if you've been lying to me this whole fucking time."
"I don't know what you're on about, Katie, stop being paranoid." Emily rolls her eyes and starts back towards Naomi, who's turned to put her book into the locker she was leaning at. She strains against Katie's hold, but the elder twin grips tighter.
"Do you remember what we talked about after Panda's party?" Katie asks, grabbing her sister's turquoise sleeve and pulling her back to the wall again. "Do you remember how I asked you about the bouncy castle and you promised me it was the drugs? Do you remember how you swore you weren't gay and you weren't going after that," Katie hissed, jutting her chin towards Naomi. She notes the way Emily's shoulders hitch up at the inclusion of the blonde girl. "I need to know if you were lying to me. If you're still Emily- or you're some fucking stranger. Someone else, someone I don't know, who doesn't give a shit about her own sister."
"Katie…" Emily looks down at her black flats, and taps the left shoe on the ground nervously. "You know I care about you, you're my sister."
Katie forces her face upwards and Emily meets her eyes. "Ems, you promised me it wasn't what I thought, that it wasn't true. If you really care, then tell me again, promise me one more time."
Emily does what she asks, and promises that it wasn't true, that she wasn't gay, that she didn't want Naomi.
In her mind, Katie adds that Emily has promised to be the Emily Katie's always known. Always.
To punish Emily and to reassure herself, Katie keeps hold on her sister, and drags her in the direction of Naomi's locker. Katie flings a particularly harsh insult at her as she and Emily strut past, without bothering to look at her. She tells herself she's imagined it when Katie sees the two link hands briefly before the elder twin can drag her away.
On Saturday Katie gets up to find Emily has already gone. Her twin's bed is empty and unmade, and when Katie stumbles downstairs for breakfast no one's there but Dad, who's watching some fitness video and taking notes. He gets up and kicks out like the man on the screen, and sits down to write some more notes down. Katie decides to bypass the father-daughter bonding and heads out the door. There's not a fucking thing to do, and Katie has never felt more aimless in her entire life. She's got no plans. Briefly she thinks about calling Danny and demanding he pick her up, and that reminds her that she still hasn't officially broken up with that fucking twat, that she's still technically his girlfriend. She's both comforted and disgusted at the same time, but she can't break up with him now. Not when she's alone, not when she's got no fall back.
She's in an unfamiliar neighborhood and there's graffiti all over the brick buildings, and she sticks her nose up like she knows where she's going, like she's got a reason for being there. Inside she's feeling like a fucking moron, like she's worthless because she's got no one with her to pretend too. She follows an alleyway and nearly kicks herself for not sticking to the main roads. If Emily was there, Katie thinks, she would remember how to get back home. But Katie has no fucking clue where Emily has gone off to, yet again, just like the month before when her twin spent two nights away from home without explanation, coming back covered in dirt and looking depressed. Emily refused to talk about what happened.
Katie slows when she notices the alleyway has given way to a skate park, covered in more graffiti and cocky boys doing tricks. She sidles up closer, watching with interest as one boy ahead did some kind of complicated jump from behind. He's tall, lean, and wearing a black hat over his dark hair. Katie immediately decides that he's got skills on the skateboard, but this poor boy has no fashion sense whatsoever. She watches him as he does a few more tricks, fascinated. His movements make him different from the other boys there, as Katie watches. He's got more power, more assurance when he jumps and spins the board. Katie decides it's because he's better than the other skateboarders. They're all shit, they're all boys, but this one is different. He turns it into an art, but Katie nearly smacks herself for admiring something as stupid as skateboarding. She's starting to turn and leave when the skateboarder twists his board around to face Katie's direction.
It's Freddie, she realizes, and he notices her before she can decide whether or not she wants him to. Freddie lifts his hand in a wave and juts his chin at her. Katie sticks out her chest and twitters her fingers back, which Freddie takes as a sign to come over for a chat. Her stomach erupts in nervous flutters, which weren't there the last time she saw him at college, but they're gone before Katie can figure out what they meant and Freddie's in front of her.
"Katie! What are you doing here?" He smiles at her, stepping off the board and letting it rest on his side. His teeth are white and straight and his voice is nice and deep, not at all fucking sniveling and irritating, like Danny's, and he doesn't immediately look her body up and down. It makes Katie feel good to know Freddie could have a conversation with a girl without turning it into a cheap prelude to sex.
"Oh, you know, just out for the day," Katie says, smiling wider. "I didn't know you skateboarded, you're really good." She runs her hand along his forearm, testing the waters by flirting innocently. She hasn't got any plans for it to turn into anything, but Freddie turns sheepish in front of her, and Katie mentally notes that he likes it when she touches him.
They talk about it a little, about how he really loves it and how he's been doing it for so many years. They get further into the conversation, and he starts to lead her back to his house, back to the shed he's been going on and on about, and Katie's in the middle of some story when she stumbles onto Danny's name by accident. It gives her pause, but she only slows her step a little. Freddie looks over, noting the change of the click clack from her heels, and asks her if something's wrong. It hits her then that in the course of the last three days, no one has asked her that question. Not Emily, or her mother, or any of the troupe of blond beauty shop clones that follow her around.
It's nice, Katie decides, to have someone at least notice. So when they get to the shed, she slumps in a chair and tells him everything.
She's got someone again.
Katie looks in the mirror, and smirks as she fiddles with her clothes. Two weeks ago she felt like shit, like nothing and no one wanted her. But now, after the fact, she stands in front of the mirror with her shoulders straight, admiring the very things about herself she so recently despised. Emily's thin frame doesn't fill out the low cut top the way Katie's fuller curves do. She makes this outfit what it is, and this outfit is hot.
Freddie invited her to his house again, after spending two weeks just hanging out and Katie feels like she's on top of the world when she's with him. As soon as she told him about Danny, Freddie called him a bastard and told her she was better than that. Katie had been telling herself that all week, but to hear it from someone else felt pretty damn good, and especially nice from someone as pretty to look at as Freddie. She turns in the mirror, to look at herself from the side. Freddie hasn't asked her out, not yet, because, as she reminds herself again, she's still yet to officially break things off with Danny. She's waited this long, but tonight, after she visits the shed in this fucking hot dress, she's going to make sure she's got Freddie eating out of the palm of her hand. She wants him. She wants him because he looks at her like she's a real person. Katie knows he likes her. Katie knows he likes her because in the last week, they've had conversations where neither one of them is bored. They've taken walks around the skate park, and she's caught him looking- but in a nice way, in a subtle interested way, never being a pig. And Freddie's really made an effort to be a friend, and in all her ten years of dating, not one of the other fucking bastards she's gone out with has done that.
As Katie's sliding her feet into a pair of matching heels, Emily comes in and she's practically glowing when she flops onto the bed. Katie doesn't feel obligated to ask where she's been or what she's been doing, because she's too busy at the moment to think about that. She doesn't want another fight over Emily's fucking problems to ruin her night. Emily's reflection falls slightly when she catches Katie's eye in the mirror.
"What are you doing in my top, Katie? Stop stealing all my fucking clothes!" Emily cries, tugging on the sleeve of the shirt.
"Get off. Come on, they look better on me anyway. I'm leaving and I'm wearing this," Katie smoothes down her red hair, fixing it into place.
"Where do you think you're going, anyway? Are you going out with Danny or something?" Emily asks, slumping on the bed, giving up on the fight like Katie knew she would.
Making a quick decision, Katie fastens the diamond necklace Danny gave her around her throat, feeling the cold stone settle on her neck nicely. "No, that's done after tonight. I'm going out. And when I come back I'm ending things with Danny. He fucking cheated on me last week and we're through. Greasy fuck." Katie throws her bag over her shoulder and goes to leave the room, but Emily pulls her back in forcefully.
"What? Why didn't you tell me Katie?" There's shock in her voice, and Katie feels almost gleeful that Emily's both surprised and hurt.
Katie leaves her hand on the knob and turns, making a show of rolling her eyes. "Because it's none of your fucking concern, Em." When Emily's face falls, Katie feels triumphant, because it's true. If Emily had been more concerned over Katie, she would have noticed. She would have noticed like Freddie noticed that day they were walking back from the skate park. She thinks she might have taken it too far, though, when Emily looks up and her eyes are glassy. "Look Em, I'm sorry, okay, I should have told you. We'll catch up on it as soon as I get back."
Emily nods and agrees, "Promise?"
"Promise."
Freddie's bitch of an older sister lets her in. Katie's met her once before, when she was over earlier in the week, and already she knows she hates her. Katie doesn't bother waiting for Karen to lead her up the stairs, or to call up to Freddie's room. She's not supposed to seem as nervous as she feels. In the back of her mind she thinks of Danny, who hasn't even fucking called and hasn't texted in two weeks. She thinks about how he's got no idea his girlfriend is climbing the stairs and letting herself into the room of a beautiful boy who's going to take his place, and she hopes it hurts like hell when he realizes she's not heartbroken over him in the least, and that she's not alone, either.
When she peeks her head in without knocking, Freddie is leaning back on his bed, and there's some kind of music playing in the background. He's bobbing his head and texting someone on his phone, with his feet crossed at the ankle. Katie feels warm all over and a smile automatically spreads across her face. She lets herself the rest of the way in, and he quickly sits up, putting his phone in his back pocket, like he was trying to hide it away.
"Hey," Freddie says, smiling and swinging his legs over on the edge of the bed. Katie smiles and awkwardly invites herself to sit on the bed next to him, not sure what else to do with herself. She strides over confidently, though, pretending she's not buzzing all over with nerves and hormones and that it's not going to hurt like hell if he tells her he doesn't want her back and she has to go home and break up with Danny knowing she's got no one but Emily left.
"Hi!" Katie says, crossing her legs on the bed. There's a moment of silence when they just sit there and Katie breaks it. "So I'm going to end things with Danny officially," Katie confesses, looking at his face for a reaction of any kind. He smiles broadly and nods his head.
"That's great, Katie, really great. He doesn't deserve you at all. You should have done it a long time ago," Freddie says it so sincerely that Katie feels like she's worth a million and a half of any other girl out there, and she can't help but let a huge smile break out on her face.
Katie's sure he notices the pink flush that she's tried so desperately to hide with makeup, the flush that broke out as soon as she started thinking about his tanned face, his warm brown eyes, and his hands, the hands she'd found herself watching over the last two weeks. They were callused and bigger than hers, and they looked warm. Instinctively, she reached out across the small gap between their bodies and grabbed his hand with hers, cupping it and setting it between them.
"So what do you want to do, you want to take a walk or go out to the shed or something? Have you got anything to drink or like, some spliff or whatever?" She tumbles over the words, not looking at him, feeling hand in hers has made her head fuzzy and Katie can't help but think she's made a mistake in this whole thing by being bold enough to take it. She imagines him letting go and shuffling to put more space between them, but he doesn't. Katie looks up and his brown eyes meet hers, and he's smiling. "Nah, let's just hang out in here," Freddie says, and he pushes his fingers through hers, settling their intertwined hands in his lap.
Katie does the only thing she can think to let him know how glad she is, and leans over, squeezing his hand, and presses her mouth against his. Freddie's lips are warm under hers, and he kisses her back, reaching up with his other hand to touch her face and push her hair back. They stay that way for some time, and when she pulls away to look at him, he smiles and tells her she's beautiful. Without breaking their hands apart, Katie leans in again, and kisses Freddie with all she's got.
When she comes home with a flush in her cheeks, feeling better than she has in a long, long time, Katie goes upstairs into her bedroom. She tells Emily to go downstairs and get some popcorn and she'll tell her all about what's been happening with Danny. When Emily's gone, Katie sets up the video camera in front of her mirror, strewn with rejected clothes from when she was getting ready for tonight. She could do this now, she could let go of Danny without being afraid. She was Katie Fitch, for fuck's sake, and she was so much better than a slimy creep like Danny.
"Danny Guillermo, you greasy fuck…"
A/N: Well there you have it. A bit of an in depth view of Katie. It's a little different than what's mostly posted here since everyone around this place appears to be E/N fans, which I personally have been mostly indifferent about. Katie is my favorite character of this gen and I was really aiming for in-character, so please let me know if you think I've managed it. In any case, review whether or not you liked it. Even if you'd like to flame me, so long as you give me a damned good reason. Thanks for reading!