This is my first attempt at fiction so please review this story and tell me what you think would help it along. Please nothing overtly negative. Also I would like to Say thanks to he who fell from grace for allowing me to use one of his ideas and giving me the idea for this story. If you'd like to read his story search for "The Emperor works in weird ways".
So after those words enjoy.
Lance beams and gauss blast crisscrossed the darkness of space. Heralds of Light chapter master Mark Anthony smiled as he saw another Necron ship go up in a silent explosion. Suddenly a second salvo of lance beams from the Space Marine battle barge Harbinger of Dawn struck another medium size Necron vessel vaporizing a sizable chunk of it. Turning to the chapter serf in charge of fleet communication Mark said "notify Brother-Captain Nero to move his strike cruiser Dawn's Rays and finish of that crippled Xenos abomination." "Your will lord" said the serf, transmitting the message.
Suddenly a bight light appeared in front of the Harbinger of Dawn. "What was that?" Mark asked. "The Illuminating Brilliance's Nova Cannon scored a direct hit on the Necron flagship, Lord" said the serf in charge of sensors. "Good, Tell Brother-Captain Marcus to press in and get more hits" Mark said. Suddenly the serf in charge of sensors screamed "energy spike detected from the Necron tomb ship!" "bring it up on the main view screen" Mark shouted. The main view port on the bridge started to display the image of the Necron tomb ship on screen.
Shaped like a half oval with a bite taken out of the middle, In the middle of the ship a golden pyramid started to glow radiantly. On the tip of the pyramid a green ball of roiling energy was forming, growing bigger by the second. "Lord all remaining Necron ships are converging on the tomb ship" the sensor serf said. "What???" Mark roared. "look at the main screen again" the serf said. Looking at the screen Mark could see the remnants of the Necron fleet flying from off screen to slow down and then combine with the tomb ship in showers of green lightning. Also growing larger was the orb on top of the pyramid.
"Sir the orb is increasing with each ship that combines with the tomb ship" "I can see that" snapped Mark. The serf flinched from the harsh words. "maybe you should apologize after all its not his fault." blared a harsh mechanical voice. "Gregor when did you arrive on the bridge?" Mark asked exasperatedly. "since those Xenos filth started to run away" the Dreadnought replied. Mark glanced back at the white box with golden trim that housed his first and longest friend. Sighing he turned to the sensor serf and said "I aplologize" Mark said.
Swiveling back around Mark was starteled to see that the green orb had grown even bigger. "Sensors how big is the orb?" "It has grown to the size of a red giant star and…" "Never mind that an orb of that size can swallow the entire chapter fleet!" "Fleet Comms tell the rest of the fleet to fall back with all haste" Mark bellowed over the hooting and ringing warning klaxons. "To late Mark" said Gregor. Whirling around to the view screen Mark was just in time to see the orb detach it's self from the tomb ship. The green light enveloped everything before darkness consumed him.
If one had been an observer from a good enough distance one would have seen an entire Imperial Space Marine chapter fleet with an Imperial Navy detachment attack a smaller fleet of Necrons gathered around a Hive world halfway through harvesting it's population. 30 minutes through the battle one would also have noticed the Necron fleet fall back and Combine with the tomb ship. About 2 minutes after that the giant green orb descended on the Imperial fleet swallowing it entirely before turning and twisting in on its self and disappearing in a blinding flash of light. Leaving the massive Necron ship alone in orbit above the planet, after a brief pause it then heeled around to continue harvesting the Humans on the hive world.