Author's note: This is very AU, so don't worry about when it's set, you'll understand it throughout the story. Also, this is my first try at a HIMYM story and my first story in quite a while, so I hope it's okay :) Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own How I Met Your Mother or any of its legendary characters.

Chapter One - It's Time

When their father began telling those stories that supposedly led up to how he'd met their mother, Luke and Leia hadn't been very happy about it. Who wanted to listen to his stories? They were all crazy tales that spoke a time long past, a time that didn't even really matter anymore. They started in the year 2005, 25 years ago - it might as well be a lifetime! But as the plot thickened, they started getting attached to the characters like they weren't their own family, like they didn't know how it all ended, and soon they actually started looking forward to story time.

That's why Luke and Leia one day found themselves sitting on the couch, looking fixedly at the door while they waited for their father to get home. Truth to be told, by then, they didn't care about how their father met their mother, so they couldn't just ask her to continue the story. It had to be their dad, he was the only one who knew what happened next.

"Dad, tell us what happened next!" Both kids exclaimed, not giving their father any room to even breathe as he got home. Sighing, Ted nodded and, after saying hello to his wife, he sat down and got started on the story telling.

"Okay, where was I? Oh, right... Kids, I don't think you're going to like this part, but listen to it thoroughly. It's very important."

It was so normal for this to happen that no one even paid attention. Of course, it was all very discreet, too, but that was mostly just protocol. At Altrucell, an employee - especially one of the high-ranking ones - being arrested was no more than routine. For Barney, even, it was routine. Public urination incident aside, he every single time he'd been arrested (and those cases weren't even on his file) it'd been at Altrucell. To get that high meant accepting some things, making some compromises, and a bit of time inside an interrogation room was a small price to pay.

He couldn't take his eyes off the ground this time. Even though no one even turned their attention away from their jobs, Barney felt like the whole company was staring at him, judging him. Now, he could understand what Marshall went through every time he went to read a magazine in the bathroom, imagining what everyone was thinking. Oooh, he really screwed up this time, huh? I bet he's not coming out of this one, one of the ladies would think, her tone more amused than condescending. Imagine what's going to happen to this one... Prison, maybe worse, and we know how long he'll last in there, that was Bill, a colleague of Marshall's. Of course, Barney knew no one was even looking, they never were, but he couldn't help his imagination. What had he gotten himself into?

"Dad!" Leia complained, slamming her fist into her leg in protest. What had Barney done? What happened next? With their Uncle Barney, there was never any way to tell, and hadn't their father just said that they weren't going to like this story? That had to mean that something bad happened to their favorite uncle, he knew how much this would upset the two little fans. "You can't just cut the story like this, we're... We're curious!"

Luke nodded in agreement, shooting his father a pleading look with his early-teen puppy dog eyes that still had some infantile appeal. "You have to tell us what happens next!" He begged, taking his sister's hand for emphasis.

"Sorry, kids, it's going to have to wait until after dinner. Your mom isn't going to be happy if all the food goes to waste because this story was much too long." Ted gave the kids an apologizing look and stood up, wondering if maybe he'd been telling them too many stories. They seemed to be much too hooked up on them, more than he expected when he started.

Huffing, both kids stood up and made their way to the table, sitting in their places with their arms crossed over their chest in a protesting gesture. "What's wrong?" Their mother asked them, frowning and giving Ted a questioning look, wondering what her husband had done to upset the kids so much. They'd been so cheery a few minutes before, anxiously waiting for their father's arrival, and now they just seemed frustrated. Had they been expecting something from their father that they wouldn't tell her?

"Dad won't finish the story because we need to have dinner." Luke explained, pouting. "This one is supposed to be sad or something. He said we wouldn't like it but that it was important."

Ted shot his wife a look, confirming her suspicions. Like the kids, she'd had a thorough eduction on the long story that led to their meeting, though she never seemed to get quite as hooked up on them as the children seemed to be. "You'll get back to it soon." She said, instead of jumping in to defend them like she usually did. "Just have your dinner first and let your father rest, he's had a long day at work, I trust."

Luke and Leia looked at each other, then at their mother, confused and with growing suspicions. By then, they'd already caught up on the telepathic communication the adults seemed to have every once in a while, and they knew that something was up. However, they didn't argue, they just nodded and got started on dinner, pretending not to notice it when their father slipped out and went up the stairs to his room. They had a feeling they knew what he was going to do, but asking about it would be pointless. Ted always denied it, but they all knew he missed his bachelor times, his adventures looking for "the one", his legendary outings with Barney, everything. Who wouldn't? It seemed like he'd had the time of his life, even if he hadn't found the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

While his wife and kids ate, Ted dug through his things, looking for something he hadn't even thought of in years. It was still there. After so long, it was still there, just as he had left it. Part of him had expected, even hoped, that it'd have vanished, been erased from existence. Ted picked it up, feeling the old dusty leather under his fingertips, and he sighed. He'd hoped he never had to tell his kids this story, that he'd find a way to explain everything without having to go through this particular chapter, but he knew now that it was impossible. This had marked everyone's lives too much for him to just skip it. His fingers traced the fake golden lining for a few seconds before he built up enough courage to actually open the little book he was holding, allowing a paper sheet to fall off. Squeezing his eyes shut to keep himself from reading the words that were still imprinted there, he picked it up and placed it back inside the book.

"Dad? Your dinner is getting cold!" Leia called him from downstairs. It was time to go back, to allow time to progress closer to the moment he'd have to continue his story.