Wine glass in hand, Sirius runs up the staircase of his Uncle's house. Even as he reaches the second floor landing, he can still hear the laughter and chatter of the party below. Suddenly the noise levels rise sharply as someone opens the door to the dining room and steps out into the hallway. He hears the click of heels on the marble floor, and then a clear voice calls out, "Sirius, where are you going?"
At the top of the staircase Sirius turns and ses his Aunt Druella poised with one hand on her hip and the other holding an elaborately embroidered serviette. Hatred wells up inside him, and for a few moments he remains silent as he tries to control his temper. He loathes her, and all the others in that room...loathes their arrogance, their pretentiousness, their snobbery, but most of all he loathes everything that they believe in.
"Answer me!" snaps Druella.
"To smoke," Sirius replies curtly.
Druella's cold expression turns to one of disgust. "Such a filthy Muggle habbit. I suppose you learnt it from those Mudbloods you insist on associating with. You're a disgrace to our family, Sirius," she sneers at him, and without waiting for his response, she turns and sashays back into the dining room.
Snarling to himself, Sirius strides away from the staircase. He doesn't particularly care where he goes; just as long as he gets away from his family. As he walks, he mutters insults against his family under his breath, which continue until a nearby portrait shouts, "Speak up boy! We all want to hear!"
Sirius immediately stops talking to himself; by now he should know to be more careful about what he says. In this house, there is always someone watching, always someone to report back his carelessly spoken words to his parents or his Uncles and Aunts.
The door to one of his Aunt Druella's parlours is partially open, and remembering that this room has a balcony, Sirius slips in. At least there he should be safe enough from prying ears to be able to rant. He moves quietly through the parlour and opens the door to the balcony with a simple spell. He shuts and magically locks the door behind him, and finally lets his guard down. For now, he is safe.
Sirius takes a swig of his wine and reaches into his robes for his cigarettes, only to discover that the packet is empty. This seems to be the last straw for Sirius, and he hurls the empty packet out into the night.
"Disgrace am I?" he yells after it, "WHY?! Because I'm not Slytherin? Because I like Muggles? Because I've dated Mudbloods? Because I don't enjoy killing for pleasure? I'm NOT like you!" He roars the final sentence back towards the house, and then falls silent.
He stares moodily out towards the gardens of the house, and takes a few more gulps of his wine, "I'm not like them," he says softly, "I don't victimise people. I give people a chance. I'm nice! I don't go around killing people, I don't support You-Know-Who. I'm not a Slytherin. I'm tolerant, I'm helpful – look how many times I've done Peter's homework for him," he pauses for a moment and then in a more hopeful voice adds, "Maybe I'm adopted. I mean, how could THEY produce someone like me? I'm different."
Sirius's posture relaxes and a faint smile crosses his face, "I'm not like them. I don't treat people like they're scum. I don't bully-"
"You bully Severus Snape," a cool voice says from behind him.
Sirius whips round and sees his cousin, Bellatrix, standing in the doorway of the balcony.
"Don't think I don't know the things you do to him," she continues.
"That's different," Sirius replies confidently, "He's a slimy git who deserves what he gets."
Bellatrix smiles and moves to stand beside him, looking over the garden, "Of course that's different. Of course there's a reason. 'Never act irrationally', isn't that what Grandfather used to say? It's easy to find rational reasons to act; but it's harder to find people who agree with your reasons. What about Pettigrew?" Bella adds, suddenly changing tack, "I've seen how you treat him. You think he's nothing but a worthless fool."
"No!" Sirius exclaims, "I don't think that. He's my friend. He can be a bit...slow sometimes, but he's a good person. He's very funny and he tries hard at everything..."
"How very Hufflepuff," Bella says dryly.
"...besides, I've always stood up for him, protected him when your lot have picked on him for being a Mud....I mean-"
"Being a Mudblood? Don't correct yourself Sirius. There's no other term for people like that."
"I...he's not!" Sirius stammers, "It just slipped out – not surprising after having to spend all evening with that lot." He glances sideways at Bella and sees her smirking, "Don't look at me like that. I'm not like you! I've dated girls who are...whose parents haven't got magical powers. I'm friends with them!"
"Perhaps it would seem more valiant if you weren't so desperately trying to prove a point," Bella says, "You date Mudbloods to try to show people how open and unprejudiced you are, but most of all you do it to try to show your family that you're different. Well, you're not.
You're a Black, Sirius, and you always will be. If, like my worthless sister, you really were different, you wouldn't have to keep proving it to yourself. You and Potter are just like us; you run around Hogwarts pretending you own the place, whilst you intimidate people, victimise them, play jokes on them....mess up their lives. You are exactly like us. You just pretend that you're not, but the only person you're fooling is yourself.
Being a Black means to have power, and not to be afraid to use it. It means being Pureblood and proud of it. It means being talented, intelligent, attractive...and Sirius, you are all of those things," Bella finishes in a seductive whisper.
Clenching the stem of his wine glass, Sirius finally breaks his silence, "You're wrong Bella," he says through gritted teeth, "I'm NOT like you, and I'm NOT a Black."
Bella chuckles roughly, sounding most unlike her usual, perfectly-coached and musical laugh "You are," she hisses, "You are a Black. You were born one, and you'll die one. You're just pretending to be like all the other stupid Gryffindors, but deep down you know that you're better than they are-"
"Shut up!" Sirius snaps at her.
"You were born to it," continues Bella, in a soft whisper, "You were born to power. Born to rule over them. Your pure blood gives you the right- no, the duty to be in charge of those filthy Mudbloods. Those dirty little freaks don't deserve to live."
"SHUT UP!" Sirius yells at her, "You're the freak if you believe all the rubbish you've just spouted. They're NOT inferior to us; they have as much of a right to live as us."
Bella smiles, and leans closer to Sirius so that she can whisper into his ear, "Us and them? I always said you were a Black. You know there's a diving line. Well done, Sirius."
Sirius's hand plunges into his robes and pulls out his wand, and whipping round he points it at Bellatrix. "You vicious little bitch," he snarls at her, "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! GET OUT!!"
Bellatrix's gaze travels from his wand, up his arm and to his face. Sirius is barely controlling his fury at her, but she doesn't really believe that he has it in him to hurt her. He might be a Black, but he's still a Gryffindor.
All the same, there's a nasty look in his eyes, and Bella can't help but think that perhaps she's pushed him too far this time. Besides, there's a great party going on downstairs and it's not as much fun to wind Sirius up when there's no-one around to admire how clever she is. Bella smirks at him, and then turns and walks back into the house, but she doesn't return to the party straight away. Instead, she ducks down by the edge of a window and peeks through a gap in the curtain.
The moon is still bright, and Bellatrix can make out Sirius's figure as he hurls his wine glass to the ground, shattering it. He roars in anger and then punches the edge of the balcony before slumping to the ground. He huddles down in a corner and after a few moments, Bella hears muffled sobs. She hurriedly gets to her feet and backs away from the window.
Anger is an emotion which Bella understands. She loves to make Sirius angry; she's known him long enough to know exactly how to get under his skin, and how to control him; but tears...? Bella doesn't understand that, and the idea of an almost grown-man...and a Black crying makes her skin crawl. For a few minutes she stares at the door uncertain how she's supposed to react, but gradually, a smile spreads across her face.
Tonight, she has learnt how to break Sirius. And more importantly, she has learnt that she has even more power over people than she thought she had. And what does Sirius matter? To her, he's nothing more than a play thing. Despite her claims that he's a Black at heart, she knows that he'll never amount to anything; he's too fond of Mudbloods and Gryffindors. Laughing to herself, Bellatrix walks out of the library and back downstairs to the party.
Alone on the balcony, Sirius weeps. He doesn't deserve to be a Gryffindor. Everything Bella said about him is true...he is a Black, and he can't deny it.
"I'm one of them," he chokes out, "it's hopeless...it's hopeless."