Note: so hi I really wanted to do something for the wedding fiasco, it's extremely short and vague but thoughts and feelings would be nice, thank you! :)
Also anyone waiting for an update for my other story I promise I'm working on Where Did You Go? as we speak please feel free to hit me in the face because I am the worst at updating in the whole world.
There are some things in life you can't control, like the crappy weather for example, and others you can completely. How many times have I smiled today? How often have I thought of the past? How many risks have I taken?
Twice. Once. None.
Control is a funny thing. You think you have a handle on a situation, when really everything is slowly slipping away. Once you lose that hold, you never really get it back, no matter what you do - it's all too late. It isn't the lack of control that's scary though, it's the fact that you had a chance to do something and you let it pass you by.
Okay I lied, maybe I've thought about the past more than once today. 'What if's are are a stupid waste of time, irrational and ridiculous - but that didn't stop them from infiltrating my every thought.
What if this wasn't Ohio?
What if I had been kind instead?
What if I had realized sooner?
What if I had acted on my feelings instead of suppressing them?
What if I had said something when it mattered?
What if I wasn't too scared?
What if he had never proposed?
What if it was me instead?
What if.
I guess maybe things might have been different, or not. Either way I can't influence her decision any more than I can change each and every one of my bad ones. It's life and it sucks sometimes, well, most of the time actually.
Control is a funny thing.
Maybe it's time to take that risk.
Thoughts?