He was fighting again. Fighting his current enemy, his hollow, his exhaustion, and his pain. He had become so accustomed to doing this that he performed the actions automatically. It was like he became a machine every time he was forced to drench Zangetsu's blade—his soul—in the blood of his enemies and Zangetsu's hilt in his own blood.
He knew his friends looked at him oddly when he fought now. He could sense their unease when he stopped showing mercy to his foes and killed without hesitation or pressure. He didn't know what else he could do though-if he didn't kill, the enemy would simply rise up like a zombie to attack those dear to him again. It was much better to kill than to allow others to be killed. As for himself…he couldn't remember the last time he cared whether he survived a battle. He lived as a matter of instinct and habit and to keep those who did care from crying.
He didn't realize that he still caused them to cry when his face hardened and his eyes died. He didn't realize that his Grammy-worthy acting was not enough to fool those who had fought and survived the most hopeless battles with him. He didn't realize his father had taken up smoking again or that Karin no longer bothered to talk to him anymore. He teased Yuzu about the boy from school she so often mentioned and complimented her cooking without ever realizing that Yuzu had actually made fried tofu just to see her brother moan over his most hated dish.
He didn't notice he obeyed Rukia's orders without question or complaint like he had always done or how it frightened the little shinigami to see him so compliant, following her every demand like a dog or a robot. He didn't notice his human friends and classmates edge away from him as even their weak instincts made them aware—even if only subconsciously—that despite his apparently normal façade, his every movement screamed dangerous. He didn't notice when Orihime's heart finally broke under her fear for him and her fear of him. He didn't notice he called all the members of the Gotei 13 their proper titles or the regret and pity that flashed through their eyes whenever he did so. He didn't know he was the subject of more than a few official captains' meetings and even more unofficial ones. He didn't know that Head Captain Yamamoto had declared him "unstable" and "a possible threat to the Soul Society" at the last meeting. He didn't know how much the people he trusted hated to have to rely on his strength when it was obvious it was killing his heart if not his body.
But they would never know how much he sacrificed for them or how empty he felt when there was no longer any enemy to protect them from. They would never know how lost he was after his execution (there was no other term for it) of Aizen. They would never know how thankful he was to be practically forced into the Gotei 13 after he had watched them rip apart his human body. They had wanted to mold him into an unresisting tool, he had let them and now they were going to use him until he broke. It wasn't until he did, however, that they understood what they had created with their actions.
AN: Wow…umm… not really sure what this is. It was written between 2:00 and 2:35AM so there are probably horrible typos and grammatical errors so please notify me of them if you actually bother to read this. I would also appreciate any commentary on whether or not this has potential to be developed into a full-fledged story. Really, any feedback is cool.