okay, sorry for not updating my other fic but i had to write this, i heard this song and saw an amv for it featuring shika/tema and just had to write this. and right when i finished it, i got reminded of a totally different song so guess what, two song fics in one. hope you like it, and do not read if you don't want to cry. also good to have the songs playing to get the mood.

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
'Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

She is in their room. Staring at herself in the vanity mirror they purchased together. Tonight though, it wasn't going to be about him. It hasn't for a while and she is starting to realize it. She wipes a tear from her cheek as she gets ready to go somewhere she knows she should not go to.


He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

As much as she tries she can't hold back her tears. She feels horrible, she calls herself names that not even her most hated enemies call her, but she does anyway because she knows those words are true. Gone are the days of mindless cloud gazing in the park with him, no more anything with him, but she doesn't leave because she does love him. Despite what she does to him…


And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dyin'

She walks out the door, as soon as it closes he sits on the couch, head in his hands. He no longer holds his tears, he lets them fall freely. He mentally bashes himself. He feels so very empty inside. He is slowly dying. The woman he has loved, loved for all his life is out with another man, doing what they had first done. The shot glass slams the table. The drink is his only friend tonight. She was his first and last right now, he was also her first, but he damn sure knows he wasn't her last and it kills him.

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

She lays in the bed, naked and covered with sweat. Her brief moment of pleasure has faded. She knows that what she is doing is killing him. She knows he will likely end up dying from this. Why can't she stop? Why won't she do the right thing for once? She doesn't even know, she just does, and she will continue.

I feel it in the air
As I'm doin' my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

She puts on her make up and fixes her hair. She walks towards the door when she sees him. Just standing in front of a picture they took on their first date. She walks up to him and gives him a hug. He leans to kiss her, but on the cheek, because he knows that's the place left that only he has kissed. "will you be out late again?" he asked "no, I'm just going out with the girls." she replies. There is a silence for they both know it's a lie. He knows where she will be and what she will be doing, more like who. He holds the tears again as she walks towards the door.


Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

He hopes she won't walk out. He hopes she stops and decides to stay with him…and only him. His hopes are lost as she walks out and closes the door. He no longer has to hold the tears. He dies some more inside. He doesn't care anymore, his heart has been broken so many times from her walking out the door he no longer feels the pain. But he does cry, he knows he isn't suppose to cry, he knows he should be too much of a man, but he still doesn't care. He will cry, and he will continue as long as he lives, til they day he dies, or they day she stays. He goes to the cabinet to once again drink his pain away.


I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...a murderer

She is about to steps off the porch when she gets an urge to just look into the window. She looks into their broken home to see him on the edge of the couch crying into his hands. She knows why he is crying, she knows its because of what she has done. Slowly tears begin to flow from her eyes as she sees the man she loved crying because she constantly cheats on him and leaves him at home alone while she is out in some other mans bed.

Our Love...his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Anymore(anymore)

"I can't do this anymore." she says to the man nibbling on her collarbone. "what do you mean?" the man asked while lifting his head to meet her eyes. "I can't do this, I love Shika. I'm sorry but he is the one that holds my heart and I don't want to hurt him like this, it's just too much." she says as tears begin to well up in her eyes. "Come on Temari, we both know how this conversation will end, we have it every month. So lets just skip it ok?" he says as he leans in only to be shoved away "NO! I won't do this anymore! I am tired of hiding this! I don't love you I love Shikamaru, and I will be faithful from now on!" the tears are once again flowing "Temari, we both know how much pleasure I give you. So come to bed and stop saying dumb things." he smirks"Fuck you! I hope you rot in hell! It's over!" she screams and runs out the door.


I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
a murderer...(a murderer)
no no no
yeah..

She runs home, constantly crying. Tonight she will tell him. Tonight she will make a mends with him. She preys to kami that he will forgive her and keep her. She will be with him forever, she wants to marry him, to have his children, to raise his family. She smiles at the thought of being a mother with him and only him. "I love you Shikamaru, please stay with me and forgive me, I will do anything to have you back, the way it used to be." she recites her speech over and over. She will try as hard as she can to keep him, to hold him, to love him. She wants to heal his broken heart. She burst through the door tears in her eyes screaming "SHIKA I'M SO SOR…"

3 minutes earlier

"Tonight, the pain will end" he says as he pulls out his pistol from the drawer.

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night

He jots down some words on a note, takes a final shot of whiskey. He positions the gun to his head, the tears rolling out. His last thoughts are her and only her. He hopes for her happiness, even though it won't be with him.


He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby


She stands there staring at the gruesome image before her. Her love, dead, face down on the very couch he cried on. She couldn't believe it, she walked over in shock and saw a note 'I will always love her, even in death.' She drops to her knees and crys harder than she ever had. She pleads and begs that this is a horrible dream. She yells and screams and weeps until she passes out from exhaustion.


The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night

Years pass. Every day she returns to the willow tree and looks upon his grave. Rumors of her affair causing his death spread. She remembers the day of his funeral.

"YOU FUCKING WHORE! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" an enraged Ino spat while furiously punching her. She does not even try to defend, she knows she deserves this, she deserves worse. Choji pulls a broken, angry and highly depressed Ino off of her. Temari gets up, blood and scratches covering her face. She walks away, head down, feeling guilty and ashamed.

She begins to cry at the memory. It WAS her fault. She knew it, she missed him dearly. She went home and stared at their old first date picture. "I'm so sorry my love, I will join you and if it takes all eternity I will make it up to you, for I love you." those are her last words to herself as she pulls out the pistol. Her last thoughts aren't of him or of her, it is of them.


She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby

well there you go. hope you liked it R&R and don't worry, i will update my current fanfic eventually. this was totally spur of the moment.