Following Orders

Death Note Intermission

The woman stood in the window, gently rocking the small baby in her arms. Little gurgles and giggles were all that the woman received as she tried to get the small child to sleep. Llana could only smile at the little girl as Layla reached for her hair, a huge toothless grin on her little face. The woman rubbed her nose to the baby's, "It's time to sleep Layla."

The baby simply laughed and gently tugged at her mother's hair. Layla Lawliet Matsuda was very like and unlike her father. She had his dark hair that hung neatly like her mother's (to the woman's joy) and her father's dark eyes. But Llana was sure that even as a baby L was very quiet and reserved.

"Is she asleep yet?"

Llana giggled as she looked over her shoulder at Matsuda, "What do you think?"

Matsuda took the child from the woman, leaving her to watch him in awe as to how good he was with the little girl. He bounced her around a little and kissed her head, "Layla we go through this every night. Mommy needs to sleep."

The baby gurgled and giggled some more, settling in the man's arms. At some point during the walk from the middle of the small room to the crib, Layla was fast asleep.

Llana yawned and put a hand on Matsuda's shoulder, "Works every time. Maybe I should just stop trying."

The man blushed, "Don't do that. I guess she just likes me."

"Hm." The woman crossed the room and sat no the windowsill, staring out at the falling snow, "Everyday I try to figure out if it was supposed to happen like this."

Matsuda watched her sadly as she wiped at her eyes, "Llana…"

"Some days I feel like I can't do it. I can't look at my little girl and bear how much she looks like him. I wonder why this happened to me, and if it was even supposed to."

Llana was only slightly startled by the man's warm yet strong embrace. His cologne was the same as it had always been, subtle but still so sweet. He felt just as strengthening as always, he felt like her rock.

"He knew."

"What?"

Matsuda still held her tight in his arms, "He knew you were pregnant. Way before even you did. He told me to take care of you and protect you."

Llana pulled away from him, "Are you trying to tell me that what you're doing for me. What you have been doing for me…is lies?"

"What?! No! I would never lie to you!"

The woman stood abruptly from the couch, "You're following his orders! You're watching over me and my daughter because you were told to!"

The brown-eyed man was hurt. That was definitely not what was going on.

Tears formed in Matsuda's eyes, "I…I would n-never lie to you. Or hurt y-you. I love you."

"Do you really?" It came out so cold. Llana wished she could take it back but it was too late. She had only seen that hurt look on his face once before. And she hadn't liked it anymore than now.

"Yes! I was so happy when you asked me to step in as Layla's dad! It gave me a chance to be closer to you! It gave me a chance to prove myself to you! I fell in love with you that day in the coffee shop and I didn't stop loving you when you chose L!"

Llana could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she listened to Matsuda's pained words.

"I told myself everyday that I would love you even if I had to spend my life without you! So when you ask yourself if this was supposed to happen to you I say yes! That you were supposed to feel the love of a man who could love you and give you a child, and then be given a man who could love and protect you for the rest of your life."

Matsuda grabbed at her hands to pull her back onto the couch next to him, holding her close once again. Feeling proud of the courage he suddenly had, the courage to speak his mind. "If I'm following orders then I am grateful to the person who gave them to me. Because I get to be with you."