You always accuse me of finding humor in the act of torturing people with horrific nightmares. You always assume that I do it not just because it's my job but because seeing people suffer is the only thing that makes me smile these days. I find it somewhat unbelievable that you would think such things, despite that I do indeed laugh when I see innocent Pokemon scream out in their sleep, their bodies shivering in fear at the mere mental images that soar through their minds when they are resting, dreaming.

Heh, you think I find vast amounts of amusement in doing such a thing – watching both humans and Pokemon cry and scream out at night? It's quite amazing how such horrific dreams can occur in their heads but yet never wake them up, although I have seen cases where the Pokemon rush forward and out of their dream states, sweating like there's no tomorrow.

And yes, I laugh at this. Why? It's simply because it's the only way to dissipate my own fear of nightmares.

You see, I am indeed the grim reaper of the Pokemon world, terrorizing those with fear and insanity for no plausible reason apart from keeping the balance of life going. Yes, I am very much of the loner type, like a lost, lonely phantom who has no place in the world.

Well, no place that appeals to most peoples' liking, anyway…

Ah, fear. It drives me, you can sort of say; it is my boost to keep going and the timer that convinces me to get up in the morning. Of course, you wouldn't know the joy it brings, as you rely on light and valor. If I didn't find you worthy enough of my liking I would've said that such things were quite pitiful.

However, fear has its own way of attacking me, too. It may be my excuse to drive people insane with horrific nightmares, but even it can backfire on me.

And it always does.

After spending a day terrifying people with dreams of man-eating monsters and prophecies of impending doom, I return to my island for a nice, long nap to help refill my energy for the next day (where I would continue with my said daily routine).

You probably don't know this, but that's when my lust for fear retaliates on me.

I have nightmares, horrific nightmares, when I sleep. I have nightmares of death and destruction that usually involves my own termination, or that of the ones I care about. I usually wake up screaming, constantly wishing such dreams never had a chance of becoming real. Despite that I find it quite funny at realizing how similar I am to those who suffer from my nightmares, I find the situation no laughing matter. I never do.

Why?

Because even I get scared. Even I huddle up in a corner sometimes, my eyes closed tightly as I mumble to assure myself that such events would never ever happen. Regardless that they usually don't happen, I am never able to shake off the feeling of nervousness that my nightmares give me.

You think differently of me now? Heh, you haven't even heard the worst part.

I constantly see images of creatures suffering from my nightmares when I dream. Their faces that express pure horror and sadness race through my mind like a speeding flashback, and it's then and only then when I feel guilty for the things I do – sympathy for the people I torture.

I invariably wish the dreams would stop, ending their horrific reign of terrorizing me in my sleep. They don't stop, though, and they probably never will for as long as I give innocent beings nightmares. The sad truth is is that I can't stop that, either.

There is, however, some nights where I dream an actual dream – a happy one. Despite that I don't enjoy the cliché sunny backdrops and vast fields of green that these dreams usually show, there is one Pokemon that is always there to bring a smile to my face and make the whole situation worth it.

You.

Surprised yet? Eh, probably not. You probably still hate me for my acts of finding enjoyment in giving people nightmares. I guess I can't blame you since you aren't aware of the suffering I go through because of it.

You know nothing. Nothing.

Why do I never bother to tell you about my own nightmares – about the horrific visions that soar through my head at night and make me feel guilty for once in my life? Well, there's the expected answer that you wouldn't believe me because of my background, finding it hardly understandable that a monster of horror such as myself could be scared of his own power.

Now you know why I usually stay up all night, never closing my eyelids for a second in the paranoia of living through the feelings my victims feel when they suffer from my nightmares.

I guess, when you think about it, that implies that I'm quite scared of myself. Pitiful, right?

Go figure that the nightmares I'm afraid of are technically real (seeing as how they're flashbacks of the people I have tortured), and the dreams to where I'm with you are nothing but visions in my head brought onto me by my constant want to wrap my arms around you, sharing my love with your amazing person.

Out of character for me? Trust me, I know.

I love you, Cresselia, therefore I usually never want to wake from my dreams of you since I know such acts would never happen in real life – since I know you would never return my love for you. I mean, who would normally want to?

It's funny how things work out, huh? Me sitting here and constantly pretending those happy dreams were real – those fake visions of pure paradise.

I guess the only thing I would want from you is for you to let me sleep some more – let me enjoy my times of happy dreams so I can't feel the loneliness I do when I'm awake and aware of your hatred towards me. You know, the times where I am away from the sad truth that you don't love me and probably never will.

To tell you the truth, the only real times in my life where I am performing an act that brings actual happiness to me is when I'm dreaming of you, despite that they're all nothing but fake visions – happy moments I probably don't deserve and therefore shouldn't experience.

Or simply another one of my make believe realities that I – for once – wish was for real.