Author's Note: Four crappy one shots for owldistraction. One shots. As in the following chapters are not continuations of each other, nor related. Just kinda there. One-sided Lysander/Castiel in this first one here. I probably should've made sure that slash was alright first, before I just went with it...Sorry owldistraction. If you'd prefer me to take this part out/redo it, no problem. Oh, and the title is because I had the tube on in the background when I was writing this and it's true. I seriously hate the toaster strudel commercials. You know, the ones where the pastries have wings and there's that creepy ass blonde kid with the lederhosen? And he goes "Toaster strudel, yah?" And then I'm just NO! No, toaster strudel yah.
"Why are we taking the stairs?"
"I already told you, the elevator's broken," Lysander murmured wearily. And of all times for it to be down, now was rather rotten luck. His apartment was on the third floor and Castiel was so drunk he could hardly take three steps without stumbling over himself on level ground. Hence why Lysander was bringing him home in the first place. He couldn't leave him alone like this.
"That sucks," the redhead slurred. He nearly tripped over the next step and Lysander tightened his hold on his arm to steady him.
"It could be worse. We're almost there." And Lysander kept his hold tight until they reached the door. He let go to fish around in his pocket for the key. But then a firm warmth pressing against his neck startled him so suddenly that he nearly dropped said key.
"God, you smell good. You always smell this good, Lysander?" The ridge of Castiel's nose pushed into the skin right under the vein that pulsed and jumped with his rapidly quickening heartbeat. Lysander felt Castiel's nostrils flare as he inhaled his supposedly appealing scent and struggled to keep himself from flinching. This close, he irresistibly caught a trace of Castiel's scent as well. His real scent, not the dense odor of alcohol and marijuana that blighted his breath and clung to his clothes. Leather and basil. Lysander had to pull away before he choked on it.
"You're intoxicated." It was answer enough. Brusquely sliding the key into the lock, Lysander crossed the threshold and ushered Castiel along. His heart was still fluttering uneasily in his chest and he willed it to relax. But his heart wouldn't relax. It kept fluttering, betraying him once more just like it'd been doing since the moment he fell for his best friend.
"Tell me about it...Where's your bathroom again?" Red-rimmed charcoal eyes dazedly shifted to Lysander. Lysander felt just a little bit like smacking him because he's been here more than enough times to remember where the bathroom is, so if he's too damn drunk to remember that, he's really, really hit the bottle too many times.
But Lysander didn't even have time to answer before Castiel clumsily dashed for the kitchen sink and upheaved the liquidly contents of his stomach. Mentally wincing at the sounds, he shuffled across the kitchen tile and gathered back the redhead's damp tresses as his head dipped down again. The next twenty-three seconds felt quite a bit longer than so, and were rather unpleasant to say the least.
Castiel groaned and lifted his head, Lysander's fingers sliding out of his hair. He patted him on the back and turned on the faucet. The spray nozzle recently purchased for a decent price rinsed out the mess with ease, leaving the steel sparkling and clean. A presence pushed between Lysander's shoulders blades and kept him in place. Castiel's forehead, he realized after a heartbeat and stiffened accordingly.
His friend nuzzled his face in, and Lysander could feel his body heat through the material of his jacket. Castiel exhaled softly in contentment and one hand sluggishly raised and relaxed atop Lysander's shoulder. He paled as his gut harrowingly lurched forward. The contact felt intimate. It wasn't, it never would be, Castiel was simply uncoordinated and Lysander provided convenient support. But the way he was leaning into him felt so, so painfully intimate.
With a sharp intake of breath, Lysander abruptly stepped off to the side. Castiel was instantly thrown off balance and ungraciously tottered forward.
"Sorry!" Lysander grabbed him by the collar a moment before he met the countertop face to face.
"S'all good," Castiel muttered and waved him off. "I'm gonna go lay down." He apparently had remembered the layout of Lysander's apartment, because he went staggering off down the hallway.
And then went for the last door on the right. "No, no." Lysander took his arm and steered him away. "That one's Leigh's room."
"Oops. Where's that guy at anyway? Haven't seen 'im in like a month."
"He's with Rosa. And you just saw him last week."
"Month, week. Whatever." Castiel shrugged and ineptly stumbled over the threshold of Lysander's bedroom, flopping down on his back on the cotton comforter.
"You should be on your side," Lysander informed him gently. "In case your system decides to reject any more of the alcohol you've consumed."
"Eh?"
"In case you vomit again."
"Hell, Lys, should've just said that in the first place. S'hard to understand you when you're being all classy. But don't worry 'bout that anyway. M'good." He made crooked hand motions that Lysander couldn't help finding amusing and a bit endearing.
"Alright. I'll come check on you in a little while." He turned and started out, only for a hand to catch him around the wrist and tug him back again. Castiel gruffly pulled him to the mattress.
"Where you going, huh? Was'sup with you? Being so tense. Didn't drink enough tonight?"
"I think you drank enough for the both of us," Lysander replied with a forced smile.
"Guess you're right," Castiel chuckled. His fingers uncurled from his wrist and slid back down to the mattress, lightly brushing Lysander's hand on the way. "Man, did you see Lynn tonight? I didn't know she could dance like that. God...That ass. You see that ass on her, Lys? I'm usu'ly more of a boob guy, but damn. That ass." He made a groping gesture and Lysander felt a tiny, unwelcome thorn of jealously penetrate his straining heart. Envy was a hideous thing and he cringed just knowing it a touch of it resided inside him, but it wasn't a feeling he could just get rid of. He couldn't get rid of any of his feelings. Things would be so much easier if it were as simple as that.
"She is certainly an attractive girl," he replied quietly. What else could he say?
"Yeah. I got a picture of her, you know? Rosalya gave it to me. I know it sounds kinda weird, but I think...I think I might love her, Lys. Like really love her. When I look at Lynn all that mush shit happens to my insides."
He loved her? He loved her? The assessment took a moment to process. Lysander could practically hear the fleshy, meaty rip as his heart was torn out of his chest. It must've bled and the blood must've been rising in his throat because the next thing he knew, his lungs were burning and something thick and hot was cutting off his air intake.
"I haven't felt like this since Debrah," Castiel continued on, words still slurring and tainted with the perfume of booze. "I just wanna be with her, you know? I wanna touch her. I wanna hold her hand. Make her smile. S'pretty embarrassing, but it's true. You can't tell her any of this, though. This is our little secret."
Lysander rapidly blinked back the beads of moisture in the corners of his eyes and swallowed down the tangled mass of emotion in his throat. "Our secret," he agreed. The words stung his tongue.
"Good." Castiel patted him on the hand and then inquisitively tilted his head to the side. He fixed Lysander with a glassy, curious gaze. "You ever been into anybody like that? With the whole mushy love thing and all?"
"Yes," he answered with fatigued honesty. "I have."
"Heh. I figured as much from some of your songs. They're so legit, they've gotta be written from experience. So who? Anybody I know?"
This entire conversation was torture. Like walking on razors and rolling in shattered glass. A pained noise rose in the back of Lysander's throat and he couldn't answer. He just shook his head and the lie would have to suffice.