Disclaimer: Are these necessary? Yeah please don't sue me. I'm just using a sappy pop song to convey some emotion, well almost. Anyone can do that, right? Isn't that what pop songs are for? And if anything, it wasn't me.

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Okay first the story; cause there's always a story. For some part of my life I've been quite fascinated by gay males; not so much of anyone in particular, but the general "always want what we can't have" human state of mind basically drew my attention to these abundant characters. Being a straight female I realized that there never would be a chance to call one of these my own, and so the fixation, laughable yet real, grew off itself for a while. In any case, the fetish died off over time and is now merely a laughing matter amongst friends. So that's reason number one.

Then there's Dmitry, one of my dearest "bestest" friends who can always take a joke and is naturally the butt of many, especially the gay jokes. Never does this wonderful kid cease being this great specimen of potential homosexuality, no matter what great pains he must go through to keep up the tight, barely-breathable clothing style and those oh-so-sexy, large pecs.

To finally top everything off, there's the moment of impact of the idea for a gay parody. "Fate has a place and time," as stated by the real 98 Degrees song, and the concept can surely be applied in explaining this. The inspiration hit one day while taking a drive with Dmitry down Ocean Parkway and being forced to listen to "The Hardest Thing" by this oh so poppy and so his taste boy band. It hit vaguely but grew. And today, I'm glad to say that while this is pretty horrible and pretty much keeps nothing of the real song but rhyme, I am able to make a true dedication to the kid that has played such an enormous role in making me laugh throughout the past nearly two years. Thank you Dim for everything, this is yours.



The Hardest Thing [a tribute to the male fruitcake in my life]

We both know that I've been hiding this

But this isn't wrong

And baby it's killing me, it may kill you

But both of us gotta be strong

I've got somewhere else to be

Another gender to see

Other guys who love me

And theirs, I choose to be

I've made up my mind

There is no turning back

I'm coming out today

Cause they deserve better than that

(Chorus):

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye

And tell you I don't love you

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to say

To let you know it's just plutonic

Announcing that I'm gay

I wish you'd see

What boys mean to me

When my hands are tied

I don't wanna break free

They're so hot, to me

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To turn around and walk away

And tell you that I am gay

I hope we don't meet again

But thank you for your time

Although you'll now move on with your life

You were the manliest girl I could find

Like George Michael,

All my love I'll be sending

To all those blazin hotties

In his videos' endings

(Repeat Chorus)

Maybe another guy, another day

As much as it may hurt you, I am gay

(Ooh)

I've made up my mind

There is no turning back

I'm coming out today

Cause they deserve better than that

(Repeat Chorus)

I don't want to live a lie

What can I do…