Enter THE DOCTOR, ROSE, ACTOR #1, and ACTOR #2
THE DOCTOR: Hi! Welcome to "Allons-y!" I'm the Doctor.
ROSE: And I'm the Doctor's companion.
ACTOR #1 & ACTOR #2: And we are everyone else.
ROSE: Wait, so we're naming the show after your catchphrase?
THE DOCTOR: Why not?
ROSE: Well, the last show was named after the arc words.
THE DOCTOR: I was the Doctor for three and a half series. I had a lot of arc words.
ACTOR #1: But what if we combined them? It could be, like...Torchwood...
ACTOR #2: Harold Saxon...
ACTOR #1: Disappearing bees-
ACTOR #2: Disappearing planets-
ACTOR #1: And he will knock four times.
THE DOCTOR: Right. "Torchwood Harold Saxon, the Disappearing Bee Planet that Will Knock Four Times." Excuse me if I don't go with that one.
ACTOR #2: What if we arranged them in a different order?
ACTOR #1: The Four Disappearing Planets of-
THE DOCTOR: No, no, no. We're not doing this rearranging-a-laundry-list-of-humorously-juxtapose d-words gag anymore. It's old and it's trite and nobody likes it.
ROSE: I like it.
THE DOCTOR: You guys do whatever you want.
ACTORS exit.
THE DOCTOR: All right, I'm ready for this. Brand new face. It's time to stop acting like a bloodthirsty warmonger and start acting like the Doctor again.
ROSE: Wait. I'm not sure you are the Doctor.
THE DOCTOR: What? But...you saw me change. I was telling you about how I ate the banana, and then I was over there, and that's when things got all bendy.
ROSE: Doctor, are you okay?
THE DOCTOR: You've got the light...from the console...keep you, lift you up. They shine like...little angels...
(He passes out. ROSE quickly goes to revive him.)
ROSE: Doctor!
THE DOCTOR: Gaah!
ROSE: You just passed out. What's going on?
THE DOCTOR: I don't know. It must be the regeneration. Something's gone wrong. It's too soon to say for sure, but I think that this lifetime will be rife with feelings of angst and generally overly emotional behavior.
ROSE: Either way, I'm still not convinced you're the Doctor.
THE DOCTOR: How can I prove it to you?
ROSE: Do you still have that button that fires the missile?
THE DOCTOR: Yeah. By satellite.
(Takes button out of his pocket.)
ROSE: Well, look at that.
(ROSE points upward. DOCTOR looks.)
ROSE: There's a Sycorax spaceship floating above us. They're a threat to the human race. Should we blow them up?
THE DOCTOR: What? Are you insane? No, I would never!
ROSE: Because it would be murder?
THE DOCTOR: No, because the burning shrapnel could do heavy damage to the surface of present-day London.
ROSE: You are most definitely the Doctor.
They hold hands and run offstage.