A/N: Hi everyone, this is my first ever glee/puckleberry fanfiction. I've written some klaroline/tvd ff and decided on branching out after falling in love with puck and rachel. So this is a little experimental one shot, please be easy on me, I really tried. Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

I'm Here Now

The lake was her favourite place in all of Lima, Ohio. There weren't many places to hang out but the lake was one of them. During the summer, kids of all ages hung out there. It was one of the places that held memories, a lot of memories, of days spent there with her fathers or friends on hot summer days.

A dock branched out from the shore and she remembers being seven years old and falling off that very dock and into the shallow water, skinning her knee on the edge of the dock. A rope swing hung to her right from a large oak tree and she remembers being thirteen years old and swinging and jumping into the water, laughter spilling from her lips.

That was one thing about the lake, there was always laughter spilling from every surface. There was never a dull moment, whether it was kids playing in the water, or swinging off the rope or jumping off the dock or teenagers playing soccer or football in the grass by the shore edge. And that was why the lake was her favourite place.

However, now at seventeen she sat on the edge of the dock, the moon was the only source of light, and there was no joy or laughter around her. She was utterly alone. As she glanced around, she could almost hear the laughter and see kids playing around her. She could almost see her fathers throwing a Frisbee around and doubled over in laugher as a dog stole the disk away from them. Pain tore through her heart and body at the memory.

She swirled the bottle of jack in her hands, listening to the liquid swish around inside. Rachel Berry, driven to the point to drink whisky. A horrid taste but one that was quickly overcome, especially when it was the only pain reliever. Her bare feet skimmed the top of the lake, her big toe dragging through the water in lazy shapes.

Her old self would be frowning disapprovingly at her right now but her old self had never been in the position that she was now in now. This new Rachel was desperate for an escape and if alcohol could do that then she would take it. Any relief was welcomed and she didn't discriminate. Although, she did prefer drinking, it was like suddenly her problems seemed smaller and reality distant as she was able to live in her own little world.

Rachel giggled, her buzz already setting in. She pulled the bottle up to her lips, taking a large sip, not even wincing as the liquid slid down her throat. She expected the burn, welcomed it as she went back for more. Soon the bottle was finished and she was feeling light headed, all thoughts gone from her mind. So she set the empty bottle aside and laid back on the hard surface, counting the stars above, hoping one of them was his.

The thought quickly vanished though, she didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think about him and how he would be disappointed in her. She could almost hear his voice ringing in her ears which sent grief tearing through her body. Rachel felt on the verge of tears, her mind taking her back to that day. She knew there would be no escape tonight, especially tonight when she needed it most.

Her thoughts were cloudy and the pain in her heart had turned into a dull ache. Rachel rolled onto her stomach, tired of looking up at the stupid stars. Her arms were outstretched over the dock and her head rested against her shoulder. Her fingers played with the water, swirling it around as she stared into the dark depths of the lake. It was hypnotizing and she felt herself getting lost.

That was how he found her after hours of looking around town. He had gone to all their friends' houses and nothing, no one had heard a word from her for days. It worried him slightly, he knew she was strong but not strong enough to survive the grief he knew she was feeling on her own. The more he tried to hold onto her the faster she slipped through his fingers.

He was there that night. Remembered every detail from her receiving the news to her crumbling to the ground and to her falling asleep in his arms after crying for hours. That was the first time Noah Puckerman had ever seen Rachel Berry truly crack and fall apart. He stood by her helplessly, not knowing how to comfort her, this girl that he admired and adored who was always so strong was just broken.

After leaving Artie's house with no luck, he remembered Rachel talking about her favourite summer which involved the lake. It was the place where she was the happiest when she was growing up. He wasn't sure she would be there but he took a chance and set off in that direction, not bothering to get his hopes up in case she wasn't there. When he arrived he saw the familiar body of water, the only place in their small town to cool off in the summer.

His heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, a bottle tossed to the side as she played with the water. She looked so small lying on the dock, her petite frame standing out. He sat in his truck and watched for a moment, processing how to proceed, she looked so small and lost that he just wanted to scoop he her up in his arms and take her away from it all. She would never let him, or course.

Puck stepped out of the truck, closing the door behind him, no doubt alerting his presence. He moved forward, the gravel crunch under his weight as he walked toward her. She didn't move an inch, she never turned to look around to see who was invading her personal time. She knew.

"Go away," she said, her voice cold and void of emotion.

"Rach-"

"Don't."

He ignored her, stepping forward and onto the dock, his heart racing at the sight of the broken girl laying out before him. He sat down on the side, his body turned slightly towards her head as his feet dangled over the edge. He reached out, touching her arm which tensed visibly under his touch.

"Don't touch me," she snapped, pulling her arm out of his reach.

Puck frowned, removing his hand to rest it in his lap. He didn't say a word, instead letting her grow comfortable with him there. She never moved, never turned to look over at him, her hands still gliding through the water.

After what felt like hours she spoke again. Her head turned slightly to look over at him and her voice barely above a whisper, "what are you doing here?"

"Your dad is worried about you; I'm worried about you, Rachel. No one has heard from you in days."

She shrugged lightly, turning back to looking over the dock. "It's a little late for you or anyone to care about little ole' me," she replied, voice thick with fake sweetness.

"Come on, Rach-"

"I'm fine, now leave me alone."

"You are not fine."

"Why do you care?" She snapped, jumping up so that she was towering over him with hands on her hips. He followed her movement, standing up and reaching out as he noticed her sway a bit as a hand clasped the side of her head.

"Because I don't want to see you destroy your life by drinking it away. Alcohol isn't going to help anything, you're stronger than this," he said, wanting to desperately to pull her into his arms and just make everything go back to how it was. He knew it wouldn't, nothing would ever be the same again, but it couldn't hurt to try.

She pulled out of his grasp, eyes narrowed, "How I choose to deal with my grief is my prerogative, it's none of your business. So do us both a favour and leave me alone."

Puck watched as she walked away and quickly chased after her. When she tripped over her own feet and was sent tumbling forward, he reached out, his arm curling around her waist, before she could reach the ground. He pulled her back upright, hands on her hips to steady her.

"I don't need your help," she said defiantly.

He turned her around, staring down into her brown eyes. "It's been months, he's gone and he's not coming back-"

"And I just need to get over it?" She finished for him, sending him an icy glare. As she pulled out of his grip again, she placed her hands on her hips. "Tell me, Noah, did you just get over your father leaving you? Did you get over giving up Beth for adoption? He was my father and he died, there is no getting over it."

"I didn't mean it like that," he tried but she shook her head.

"This is all your fault. He is dead because of you. If you didn't drag me out to that party. If you didn't ditch me halfway through the night. Then I wouldn't have called home, begging my father to pick me up. He wouldn't have been on the road at one a.m. and he wouldn't have been in the middle of that intersection when that drunk driver hit him. He would still be here today, but he's not. So excuse me if I don't want your help."

"I know how you're feel-"

"Do not finish that sentence, Noah Puckerman," she yelled, interrupting him in typical Rachel Berry fashion. "You do not know what I'm going through. My father is dead and I will never see him again. You do not know how I feel, you could easily see Beth again or your dad if you really wanted to. So don't you ever tell me you know what I'm going through!"

The anger washed off her in waves and a lone tear escaped the corner of her eye, rolling down her cheek. He stepped forward, heart aching at the sight of the girl in front of him, and pulled her into his chest.

Typical stubborn Berry she fought against him, anger radiating from her as she hit his chest. "Let go of me!" She screamed, her small fists pounding on him. He just held her closer, willing her pain to ease.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair, fighting hard to hold onto her. She wasn't hurting him, barely doing any damage; she was so small. Her beating slowed, sobs wracking her body as she stopped fighting with him and sagged into his arms, hands fisting the front of her shirt.

Puck tightened his arms around her so she was crushed against his chest, one hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. When she quieted down, he scooped her up, one arm under her knees and the other under her back and led her back to his truck. He got her situated in the passenger seat and as he pulled back he felt a resistance. As he looked up he saw she was still holding onto him, her eyes pleading with him to stay. So he slid in beside her, wrapping his arms around her and tugged her onto his lap.

She curled into him, her face buried in his neck as tears silently ran down her cheeks. He sat there not saying a word for there was nothing to say. No words could comfort her but him being there, holding her, rubbing her back and just being there to support her would be enough. Because even if Rachel Berry liked to talk, this was not something that she could easily talk her way out of to make herself feel better.

A little while later when she grew weak in his arms, tears dried up, he checked his phone. It was well past midnight and knew her father was probably worried so he sent off a quick text saying she was safe and staying the night with him, knowing she didn't want to go home. That it was filled with too many memories that she wanted to avoid.

The past month he tried to be around but things got in the way, like Quinn and his mother and he hadn't been there for her in the way that he should have. But he knew enough that she didn't like her home anymore. She rarely stayed there and opted to stay at Kurt's or Tina's place most the time. He understood, hell he wouldn't want to be home if he was going through what she was going through. Her house was littered with pictures of happier times.

"Rach," he whispered, "I think we should get you home now."

"I don't want to go home," she replied, voice hoarse and scratchy.

"I'll take you to my house, is that alright?"

She nodded against his chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around her small frame, hugging her into him as he kissed the top of her head. He moved her carefully onto the bench seat, watching her slide over and do up her seat belt as he hopped out of the truck. He walked around to the other side, quickly getting in and setting the truck in drive. It sputtered a bit before accelerating as he turned onto the main road.

Minutes later he was pulling into his driveway, Rachel slumped and fast asleep. He easily picked her up bridal style and carried her into his house, his mother jumping up from the kitchen table. She was about to come over, concern etched across her face but he shook his head, taking her upstairs to his room. He carefully set her on his bed, taking off her shoes and pulling the covers up to her chin. He left after kissing her forehead, making sure the door was closed behind him.

"You're late," his mother said from the round table as soon as Puck entered the kitchen. She looked up at him with a disapproving look because he was past curfew and hadn't called to tell her where he was.

"She needed me, I'm sorry," he replied, collapsing in the chair across from her.

Her features visibly softened, "how is she?"

Puck shrugged, "not that great. I found her at the lake. Her father hasn't spoken to her in days, she locks herself in her room before or avoids her house and dad all together."

His mother reached across the table, her hand gently squeezing his. "She'll make it through this."

"But what if she doesn't?"

"She will, she has you."

Puck looked down, sliding his out from under hers, "she blames me for everything that happened."

"Noah, honey, that's the grief talking. She's angry and upset and you're an easy outlet." He nodded, his gaze remained casted downward and Mrs. Puckerman seemed to read his expression and continued. "You're a strong man. You helped this family when your father walked out on us years ago. Don't ever doubt your strength, you'll see her through this."

He smiled at the words of reassurance from the lips of his mother, "thanks, ma." She let out a soft yawn and he realized how late it was and that she had waited up for him. "I'm sorry for staying out so late. It won't happen again; I know I'm still grounded."

"No, you're going to call me next time something like this happens. I was worried about you. But I want you to help Rachel get through this. She shouldn't be alone." She said, standing up and walking over to his side of the table. "I love you, my boy and have faith in you" she whispered, kissing the top of his head.

Puck looked up at his mother, staring into her dark eyes, "I love you too."

He watched his mother make her way up the stairs and when he heard the door to her room close, he moved and began his own ascent up the stairs and sneaked into his room. Rachel was curled up on the edge of the bed, hugging the covers close to her body. She looked peaceful for the first time that night and he wished she could feel like that all the time.

He slipped off his shoes and pulled off his jeans before sliding into the bed beside Rachel. She whimpered a bit, her face contorting and a tear sliding from beneath her closed lid. Puck reached out, pulling her into his side and she moved unconsciously so her head rested on his chest with her hand on his stomach. He looked down at her and her face was relaxed again, the edge of her lips curling up slightly. She looked content. Puck smiled down at her, kissing the top of her head before settling in and closing his eyes.

When he woke up the next morning there was something wet against his neck and his shirt felt damp. His eyes slowly fluttered open as he heard sniffling and quiet sobs and looked down to see Rachel crying softly into him. He wrapped his arm tighter around her, his free hand lifting her chin to look up at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," she managed between hiccups. "It was that night I found out he died and I had to relive it all over again."

"Shhhh," he whispered as he turned his body to the side so he could wrap both arms around her and pull her into his chest. "It's just a dream."

"It felt so real, Noah; I can't even escape from reality in my sleep."

His eyes closed, feeling her pain, "I know, I know but I'm here."

Rachel shook her head, more tears pouring out fast than before, "why? Why do you want to help me?"

Puck frowned, his heart breaking at the thought that she may not want his help. "Because I care about you and I hate to see you like this. So broken but you don't have to be alone anymore, Rach."

She nodded quickly and turned her head into his chest, her sobs slowing and growing quieter before mumbling, "I'm sorry for everything I said last night."

"Already forgiven, just promise no more disappearing or binge drinking. If you need a shoulder to cry on then you call me, we're in this together and we always will be." Her eyes reverted back up to his, uncertain and insecure. "Rachel, you understand I'm not going anywhere, right? It's me and you."

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. "I understand, me and you, we're in this together"

"Good," he said kissing her forehead. "How about some breakfast then?"

Rachel broke out into a smile, the pain momentarily leaving her eyes, "I would love some, I'm starving and I need something to cure this hang over."

A/N: So what did you think?