Hey guys, this is my first story, and it was actually written for my English class. I know there are some grammatical mistakes but please bare with me. Thank you for reading my story!
Bleeding Heart
People say that losing an important person is hard, but you'll live. I think they are lying, conniving idiots. They say that if you are hurt or damaged that sometimes its better to just forget and move on. What happens if that incident is ingrained into your mind? What happens if you can't forget? That's how it is for me. After all, I lost my other half. The worst part is that its my fault she died.
Numbness. Thats all I feel. Its like everything is drained from your body, leaving only a shell behind. I listen to words that people say, but I don't truly hear them. The only thing I hear is her silence. The doctors wave a tiny flashlight in front of my eyes, but all I see is her there, cold and lifeless on the floor. They say I am in shock, but I am not. I just don't deserve to continue living with what I have done and lost.
A bright light blinded me, making me blink. A relieved looking man wearing a doctor's name tag gave me a tentative smile, as he pocketed the flashlight and held out his hand. I stared at it momentarily, then looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. He was a man in his late thirties with dark brown hair and shocking, brilliant blue eyes. He dropped his hand after an awkward second and said cheerfully "Hello, I am Dr. Elliott, glad to see you are finally responsive. You had us worried; you have been out for three full days." I stared back, my face feeling as blank as a sheet of paper, until he coughed and proceded to tell me about where I was and about my condition.
I didn't care; nothing mattered anymore. I should have died. Her eyes, so full of happiness, then slowly emptied into a blank glassy stare of the dead.
I snapped out of my revere when the doctor sighed and started to move around my cramped hospital room. He reached over, grabbed my arm, and injected a clear liquid into my blood stream. He smiled tiredly at me.
"It is morphine. You are obviously not out of the state of shock yet, so I gave your brain a way of taking a break. Things will get better, I promise." I tried to glare, but my eyes didn't obey. Heavy weights replaced my limbs as I tried fultily to stay awake. My eyelids where two massive tombs trying to bury my sight. As darkness finally blotted out the light, I saw her eyes; eyes that would haunt me forever and accompany me into the abyss of my mind as I became dead to the world.
The pain of awakening was excruciating, but I welcomed it with open arms. The pain and numbness were my salvation; my reminder that I should be dead; that it should have been my heart that stopped my blood that ran cold.
When I finally opened my eyes, I saw the doctor was standing to my left, checking the monitors that surrounded me, making sure I was alive. With him was a nurse, whom I started to hate as soon as I saw. She was in her early twenties with lush white- blonde hair in a pony tail. Her eyes where full of life and happiness, she was pure, untouched by dark times. I had no reason to hate her, but for the reason that she reminded me of her, I did. No one should have life without pain, except her. She was the only one who could smile like that.
Her smile vanished when she saw the look on my face, I poured all my emotion into a glare and sneered at her, before facing the doctror, ignoring her. A smile graced his face when he noticed that he had my attention, missing or ignoring my interaction with the nurse.
"Would you like to go to her funeral today? You may go as long as you have an escort for the hospital. You are only here until you are mentally stable again." My eyes hardened at the mention of her, but I nodded mutely. He smiled, probably thinking this was a step toward moving on. How stupid!
"I will leave you with Marie then, " he nodded toward the stupid excuse of a nurse, " to get ready." With that he left. I turned my eyes to her, the force of emotion behind it made her take a step back. "You," I snarled, "leave!" She paled and stammered something that I didn't catch. "GET OUT!" With a swift movement I sent the untouched luch slamming against the wall. "Get out! Are you so incompentent that you can not understand a simple demand?" I said, "GET OUT!" The words ripped out of my throat sounding like a vicious clap of thunder in the silent room. The nurse's shaking hands dropped my clothes as she dashed out of the room, tears pouring down her face.
After she disappeared from my sight, I yanked the I.V's from my arm in a series of brutal movements. With my arm free from it's restraints and oozing blood, I stalked over to the clothes and scooped them up on my way to the bathroom.
The eulogy seemed infinite as the preacher prattled pathetically on as if he actually knew her. The mourners crowded around me with eyes full of pity and their empty condolances slipping easily off their tongues like lies. They continued to crowd around me, scaring my lamb of an escort farther into her mute shadowing, until I shoved ruthlessly through the crowd to follow the casket. Gasps and words of pointless chargin ensued as several mourners fell to the ground. The patter of my escort's feet, though, was the only thing I could truly hear.
The casket that held the most important person in my life lay near the six foot grave where it would later rot in months to come. My escort's furious grip on my arm tightened the closer we got. Then she made the mistake of letting go of my arm to gasp when she saw the picture of the girl who lay underneath the casket. I swung blindly, hitting her in the stomach, freeing myself from her to launch myself at the casket.
"Why? Why did you leave me? I wanted to die! I am dieing!" I screamed at the casket. Tears fell like rain down my face as I lay there on the casket. Snow fell from the heavens like frozen tears as I mourned. A prick of pain in my arm was the last thing I felt as my world turned black.
I awoke from my terror filled sleep with a soft gasp. Unease washed over me in waves as I glanced around my room warily. Seeing nothing amiss, I looked down at Arika, my identical twin sister, and smiled. Apparently she had snuck into my room to lay with me like when we were children. She looked up a me sleepily , her eyes filled with joy at being with me in my final weeks.
" Please, please don't give up. I love you so much." She whispered, her voice fading at the end. Confused I smiled and whispered back, " I don't want to give up. Soon we will be together for all of eternity. I love you too." The smile slipped from her face and her eyes took on a glassy sheen. Frightened, I sat up, jossling the sheets, and shook her. "Arika! Arika! What wrong? Tell me please.." The tears in my eyes refused to fall. Her head lolled like a dolls, side to side, as I shook her. A small vial caught my eye, Arika held it in her fist previously hiddened by the sheets. I knew that vial, it was my sleeping pills. Agony settled in as I realised what she had done, silent tears slid down my face as I wrapped my arms around her slim figure and pulled her close. The shouts of our parents and the sirens of an ambulance never pierced the fog I was in, as I lay with my other half, my reason for living and my surrounding shrank until all I knew was my body and hers.
Tears leaked from my eyes as I awoke. Agony ripped through me as I cryed and curled into a ball. Why, why did she have to be so selfless? Why couldn't she let me die? I was dying. My heart was deterioting itself. She had given me a way to live by dying herself.
My eyes opened to see the grim face of Dr. Eliott. A needle was held in one hand and a clip board in the other. "It is time for you hear replacement surgery, Adree. Your parents have signed all the papers and your replacement heart is here. When you wake up your sister's heart will be inside of your chest." He smiled, trying to make me feel better, but all he succeeded in doing was make me even more miserable. He reached to inject me, but I shoved him. Within moments a nurse was there to help, it was moments later that the dark abyss that I knew so well reached up to embrace me.
I awoke from my terror filled sleep with a feeling of unease. I glanced around my room warily looking for anything out of place. Seeing nothing amiss, I looked down, and she wasn't there. The soft thumping of her heart resonated through me, reminding me that she never was truly gone.
Three months after my surgery , I decided that I would finally make peace with my sister, Arika, today. With our heart filling lighter for the first time in months, I got ready and headed toward her resting place.
The hand sign changed to green, telling me it was okay to cross the busy intersection, and as I stepped into the center of the road a car horn blared. Time seemed to slow down as my body was thrown into the windsheild and tossed to the side like an old, used rag. I felt no pain as numbness took over. My body grew unbearably cold until I saw Arika's face. Her arms beckoned me and her eyes held the joy of life once again. I smiled at her as the black abyss embraced me for the final time.