'There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one.'
The day is hot.
It's nearly end of Summer break.
He's slouched on the front porch when the car pulls up. He watches from across the street as the blonde haired beauty steps out of Larry and Anna Sawyer's vehicle.
He's instantly captivated by her endless legs, her golden locks, and green tragic eyes. She looks at him and he smiles, the smile isn't returned.
He's clueless as to who this beautiful girl is. Maybe a distant relative or a niece perhaps.
She isn't a realtive though.
The news of her arrival is quick to spread down the street. Neighbours whisper to each other over garden fences. Passerby's gazes linger on the house with the perfectly manicured white roses. No one knows much about the married couple that live behind the white door, no one knows much about the people that have welcomed the sixteen year old into their home. Larry and Anna Sawyer keep themselves to themselves. There are only a few people in the town that actually know them. Karen Roe is one of those people; Anna was the only person to make her feel welcome when she'd moved into the house across the road with a little baby boy.
'Who's that girl mum?' Lucas walks into the kitchen and points through the window pane. Karen joins him in peering through the glass, her brow furrowed.
'I don't know, Anna didn't mention anyone coming to stay with them'
Lucas shrugs a shoulder. 'Well, I'm going to head down the river court'
'Ok, you be home for dinner' Karen blows him a kiss and he rolls his eyes but smiles just the same because Lucas Scott is definitely a Mummy's boy.
She's only been in her new house for a total of four hours when she makes an escape out of her bedroom window. She wants out of this god forsaken place and she has every intention of getting out.
She's made it down the drain pipe in record time. She's done this before. Plenty of times before.
She goes unnoticed and walks aimlessly in search for, she doesn't know quite what but she soon comes across a peaceful area. There is no one here. Well at least that's what she thinks.
'Aren't you staying with the Sawyer's?' The boys voice echos.
She turns.
He bounces a basket ball onto the asphalt court and she rolls her eyes. So much for peace and quiet.
'I saw you'
'I saw you' She retorts, rotating her body so her back is to him. 'Checking me out, like you're doing now'
His eyes jolt from her ass and his cheeks reden and he wonders if she has eyes in the back of her head.
She smirks and looks over her shoulder. 'Like what you see?'
He swallows. Well, she definitely wasn't shy. He clears his throat. 'So, are you a, er, are you a neice or something?'
She snorts and crosses her arms, turning fully to watch him toss the ball into the air and completely miss the hoop. 'Do I look like I could be related to people so perfect?'
'No one's perfect' He disagrees, throwing the ball up, it misses again. 'The Sawyer's included'
'Yeah, well I don't intend on sticking around to find out'
He stops and regards her carefully. 'They're good people. I don't know what your story is but you should give them a chance'
'God, you're like a fucking social worker' She sinks down onto the bleachers, delving into her pocket and producing a pack of cigerettes.
He watches on disapprovingly as she lights one up and without thinking he sends the ball into the air for his third attempt, this time his aim is perfect and it effortlessly slides through the basket.
'Nice shot'
'Nice legs' He retorts without turning back to her. He doesn't know where that came from. He doesn't say things like that. He doesn't speak to girls like her. Girls like her are trouble and if there was one thing Lucas wasn't looking for it was trouble.
She smirks. 'So what's your name perfect boy?'
'Lucas. Lucas Scott. And I'm not perfect' He tugs his sweaty t-shirt off and joins her on the benches. 'And you are?'
'Peyton. Peyton Harp'
'And how old are you Peyton Harp?'
She kinks her eyebrow. 'Sixteen'
He takes the cigerette from her hand and stubs it out.
'Okay if you're trying to piss me off you're going the right way about it'
'You shouldn't smoke'
'Okay Daddy' She glowers.
He ignores her pout. 'So you're...a foster kid?' He asks gently.
'Is it really that obvious?' She claps her hands together and smiles falsely.
'You mentioned Social workers. So the Sawyer's are fostering you? Adopting you?'
'Adopting me?' She shakes her head and laughs. 'You think they'd want to adopt a sixteen year old girl? They'll get offered a little kid soon enough and I don't plan on being here to be kicked back into a home'
'They wouldn't kick you out. Like I said, they're really good people and it's better than being on the streets. You should stay.'
She smirks and swings one leg over the bleacher so she's effectively stradling the wooden bench. 'You'd like that, wouldn't you? Me. Staying here. With you.' She shifts closer and trails her finger down his bare chest and he thinks he might just drop down dead.
Because she's looking at him, looking at him like she could devour him in one. She's looking at him like he's her prey and he's never met anyone so forward.
She laughs. 'Aw you're so cute. You don't do this much do you?'
'Do what?'
She doesn't verbally answer and he squints nervously as her head tilts closer and he gulps audibly and he hates that she's blatantly amused by him. He frowns and is about to throw some witty remark in her face but her lips are on his and his eyes are wide and he really doesn't care if she wants to laugh at him. She can laugh at him all she wants if she's going to kiss him like this.
When she pulls back she's smiling flirtatiously.
He thinks he should be repulsed by her forwardness, he thinks he should be running in the opposite direction but something keeps him seated.
'Peyton' Larry Sawyer's breathless exclaim breaks through Lucas' trance. 'I, I've been looking everywhere' He pants.
'I was bored' She shrugs, not even bothering to meet his concerned gaze.
'Sweetie I know this is a big change but you can't just walk out without letting me or Anna know? We were worried'
'Sorry' She apologises insincerely and Lucas scowls because the last person that deserves to be spoken to like that is Larry Sawyer.
The anxious man doesn't comment on her attitude, he nods istead. 'It's ok. Just don't let it happen again' He lets his eyes drift to Lucas. 'Hi Luke'
'Mr Sawyer' He can feel his cheeks burning. He wonders how much of their exchange the older man witnessed. He wonders if he saw them kiss. He really hopes not.
'It's Larry, Luke' Mr Sawyer squeezes Lucas' shoulder. 'I see you've met Peyton. She's going to be living with us'
'I heard'
'You'll be in the same year as Lucas at Tree Hill high Peyton. Maybe Lucas could give you a guided tour, I'm sure you'd rather have some one your own age rather than me take you round town'
She shows mild interest, temporarily letting her gaze drift up to Larry.
'I'd be happy to show you round' Lucas urges politely.
'Sure, whatever'
'Anna's made dinner and it'll be ready shortly. So why don't you come back with me'
She huffs and begrudgingly rises to her feet without a word and then she's marching across the court in the direction of the older man's car.
Larry awkwardly shifts his weight and offers Lucas a small smile.
'Maybe you can come round tomorrow and show Peyton around?'
'Sure Larry'
'Thanks Luke'
He stands and watches the older man jog to catch up with the mysterious girl that already has him mesmerised and just like that the quiet town of Tree Hill doesn't seem so quiet anymore.
'When I asked you to show Peyton around town, this isn't exactly what I had in mind' Larry mumbles.
He doesn't know quite how he got here. One moment he was giving her a detailed explanation of the short cut he takes to school and the next she had him pushed down on the sofa, straddling him and he could barely breathe because her hands were everywhere, her lips were everywhere and she was pressed right against him.
And then she'd tossed her top right off and his eyes had bugged out.
And then there was Larry.
And humiliation.
And blood rushing through his ears.
His palms sweaty.
He gulps.
'I know, neither did I sir. This isn't, I didn't, I'm not, she...' He's beat red. 'Peyton can you get off me' He pleads.
She sighs dramatically and gets up, grabbing her t-shirt. 'I'm going out'
'No you don't' Larry blocks her path.
'Are you kidding me? Listen old man, I'll do what the hell I want'
'Whether you like it or not Anna and I are your guardians right now and if you, if you want to live under this roof you'll abide by our rules' He avoids looking directly at her as she's making no effort to put her top back on.
'I don't want to live under this roof' She declares.
'You want to go back into a home? Cause your social worker seemed to think you weren't happy in the last one' Larry feels cruel but it's neccessary for her to see sense. 'Put your top back on'
She glowers at him and Lucas is a little scared of that look.
After a long minute she begrudgingly forces her arms back into her shirt.
'There'll be no walking out without telling us where you're going, you'll be back here by ten-'
'Jesus christ' She groans.
'No cursing. No smoking. No drinking. No drugs and no boys in the house'
'You invited Lucas-'
'Yes and I didn't realise you'd attack the poor boy'
'Hey, he wasn't complaining were you Lucas?' She smirks. 'In fact I think I made his day'
'Mr Sawyer would you mind if I go?' Lucas splutters before he can get any more humilated.
'Sure Luke'
'I'm sorry, about...about everything'
Larry shakes his head in understanding, something tells him it wasn't Lucas that had instigated this little make out session, he's instead convinced that Peyton hasn't given the poor boy much choice in the matter.
'Who's your friend Luke?'
They're standing at her locker. He's showing her how it works. She's not stupid but she's enjoying playing dumb and allowing him to show her everything.
'This? This is Peyton, she's the Sawyer's niece'
Her vision skitters from the two nosy girls to Lucas, surprised by his lie.
'She's going to be staying with them for a while' Lucas elaborates further. 'Peyton this is Haley and Brooke'
'It's nice to meet you' Haley greets. 'We're going to lunch, you guys want to sit with us?'
Peyton already doesn't like them. They're smiling too much. They're innocence and beauty and all things nice.
But Lucas is saying that'll be nice and then she's sitting with them all.
They ply her with questions.
Where is she from?
Charlotte. Lie number one.
Why is she living with her aunt and uncle?
Mum is sick. Dad works away. Lie number two and three.
Their eyes fill with sympathy then but she doesn't linger on the subject. She asks them what they do for fun around here.
They're cheerleaders.
She hates them even more.
'Peyton can we just...can we talk?' He licks his lips. He's pretty sure he shouldn't be complaining about her boldness but it's making him uneasy.
She stares at him. Long and hard and then expels a heavy breath before shifting herself off of him. 'Fine' She slouches back against the tree. 'What do you want to talk about? I can talk dirty-'
'No' He blurts. 'No just you know, I meant a conversation'
She grins. 'I was kidding'
He blushes and smiles awkwardly. 'Oh. Right'
She doesn't know what to say. She'd much rather let him go to second base with her but she can see she's picked the wrong guy for that.
'My mum died last year' She announces. She's intent on showing him that they can have far more fun if they skip out the small talk. Talking about her isn't exactly a bundle of laughs.
'I'm sorry' He squirms.
'Don't be' She looks out over the water. 'I'm glad she's dead'
Lucas doesn't argue. He's certain she doesn't feel that way but he isn't about to argue. Instead he waits for her to elaborate.
'When I was little I had to call nine, one, one because I found her past out on the bathroom floor with a needle in her arm. I was four. It took me a long time to realise that not all mum's do heroin. It took me a long time to realise that my life wasn't normal. A child isn't meant to be the carer'
Lucas' hand finds hers. She looks at it. She's waiting for it to creep elsewhere but it doesn't move. He's holding her hand. That's it. She wonders if he's gay.
'Is that when you got put into care?'
She shakes her head. 'She married this guy when I was ten. He was alright. He looked after us. He started hitting her around though and when I was thirteen he started touching me'
Lucas swallows thickly. 'Touching you?'
She shrugs, an indifferent smile at her lips. She finds it amusing, the way in which his brow has creased over his eyes, a perfect look of concern working his features. 'Oh come on Luke, you know what I mean' Her smile widens.
He instantly feels bad. He's being so insensitive, she obviously isn't going to want to talk about it. Only he's hoping she'd convince him that by touching she hadn't meant any of the horrible things that are currently flitting round his brain.
'Fucked me' She reiterates candidly, successfully demolishing any of his hopes.
Her bluntness has him grimacing, eyes jammed shut as he attempts to process what she's just revealed.
Her laughter has his eyes snapping open instantly though.
He doesn't find anything she's just announced funny.
'You don't like it when I swear do you?'
That's the last thing on his mind. 'I don't like knowing that somebody hurt you like that. I'm so sorry Peyton' His words are sincere and apologetic and she just rolls her eyes as she so frequently does.
'Don't apologise. You weren't the one with your hands down my pants' She smirks at his uneasiness. 'It's no big deal'
He wants to argue. It is. It is more than a big deal. But instead he keeps quiet.
'I stayed out as much as I could and then when she died I was put into the system'
'I'm sorry'
She shakes her head. 'Again- not your fault. It is, what it is'
'You shouldn't have had to go through that'
'There are people worse off'
'Anna and Larry aren't going to let you down, you don't have to be scared of them sending you away. They'll love you if you let them and Larry, he's not like that, he'd never touch you, he'll never hurt you'
She scoffs and it saddens him that she can't believe him.
She's holding a stick and he watches her dig it into the dirt. She's humming but she soon becomes bored, tossing the twig to the side.
'Can I give you a blow job now?'
His eyes bug out. 'Er what?'
'You heard' She's on her knees. She's had enough of talking. 'I'm real good-'
'Er, I don't doubt that you are but-'
'Well then' She grins, her hand finds his belt and tugs it through the buckle.
'Peyton!' He protests, his fingers covering hers. 'No. I don't...I don't want you to'
'Are you gay?'
'No!' He exclaims. 'Not that I have anything against being gay I'm just not...' He trails off. Her fingers are back at the opening of his trousers but his hand catches her wrist. 'I just don't want you to. Okay? We're not dating or anything-'
She shrugs her shoulders. 'So?'
'So I think I'd only feel comfortable doing that with someone I love'
'Love?' She snorts and laughs and he scowls. 'I'm sorry...that's just too cute'
'What?' He groans. She's starting to annoy him. He doesn't understand her way of thinking and she doesn't understand his.
'So who is the lucky girl?'
'There isn't'
'Not ever?' She kinks her brow.
He goes quiet. He doesn't like how open she is about all this stuff because he's inexperienced and she clearly isn't and it kind of makes him feel stupid and sad all at once because she didn't have a choice.
'Oh Luke, let me!' She claps her hands down against his thighs and he cowers back against the tree. 'This way you'll be able to tell the girl you love how you like it' She wriggles her eyebrows.
'Pey-ton' His voice hitches midway through her name because her hand is on him, cupping him through his jeans and no girl has ever touched him there before and suddenly he can't breathe.
She kisses the side of his mouth and he can feel her lips smiling.
And he thinks he must look fucking stupid cause his mouth is gaping open in shock and his fingers are digging into the dirt beside him.
'Just relax baby. I'll take care of you' Her voice drawls in his ear and he's completely under her spell.
He tries to break through his lust filled daze because this is wrong. So wrong but it feels so fucking good and before he even realises it she's not just touching him through his jeans, she's touching him.
Her hand is small and it feels nothing like it does when he does this to himself.
Her hand knows exactly what it's doing and he doesn't want it to ever stop but it does.
He gasps for breath.
He's semi aware of a groan escaping his lips but he's too distracted by his painful arousal to be embarrassed.
And then her lips are where her hand just was and this is something else entirely.
Wet. Glorious. Glorious. Warmth.
His mouth is open and his fingers are clenching and unclenching.
At some point she grabs his hand and presses it into her head and his eyes open wide because he doesn't want it there. He doesn't want to feel like he's forcing her do this.
But then she does something with her tongue and his fingers tangle in her hair and he can't help it.
And he's no longer thinking.
It becomes too much.
It builds and builds...it's too good...too much...and then Bliss. Bliss. Bliss.
And he thinks he may have just died and gone to heaven.
And he never wants to leave and there's nothing.
Nothing but bliss and her.
Beautiful. Beautiful. Her.
She's beside him now. Her face comes into focus. She's wiping her lips and smirking. 'See. Told you you'd like it'
And guilt. Guilt. Guilt rains down on him. Weighs down on him. His throat constricts.
He's awkwardly doing up his pants and then he's staring at her in wonderment.
She's found that stick again and he can't get over how childlike her behaviour suddenly is as she chisels away at the hard dirt beneath them.
And he hates that he just let her do that. Hates that he didn't stop her. Hates that he really, really wants her to do it again.
The next day he can't stop looking at her mouth.
She catches him several times and licks her lips slowly and then his stare is jolting up to her green, green eyes and he looks mortified.
She smiles flirtatiously.
She rains confidence and it's overwhelming.
It's lunch break and they're all sat outside at the benches.
She's sat on the table top and her feet are resting on his leg and her hand keeps messing with his hair and he wants it to stop because people are watching.
People are making judgements. People are making assumptions and he doesn't know why he cares so much.
It's not because he cares what people think of him. They can think all they like but he doesn't want them to be hasty about their judgements of her.
He's already noted the dirty looks she's getting from the girls on the cheerleading squad. He's already noted the way Brooke and Haley keep exchanging looks. But they don't know Peyton, they don't see what he sees so clearly.
She's not a slut. She's not a bitch.
She's just a bit broken.
Only they don't all know that.
And she's doing nothing in her favour to change their opinions.
She's teasing Haley for her choice of outfit and Brooke is quick to defend their bookworm friend. 'Well at least she's wearing clothes'
Lucas' stare darts between all three girls. He wants to leave because he senses this isn't going to end well but of course he stays. He sees something spark in Peyton's green eyes.
'What're you saying?'
'Nothing just that you know, some of us have a little more self respect, a little more dignity'
He thinks Brooke's one to talk but he keeps his mouth shut.
He rises to his feet cause he thinks Peyton's about ready to lurch across the table at the feisty brunette.
'Brooke' Haley attempts to diminish the sudden tension. 'Seriously it's fine'
'It's not fine. She's got absolutely no reason to be a bitch to you. She's just jealous because Nate's more interested in you than her'
Peyton snorts at that.
'Honey, if I wanted Nathan Scott. I'd get Nathan Scott'
Haley's eyes widen at that and Lucas doesn't like seeing the hurt that's quick to transcend across her face.
Brooke laughs. 'He's got a lot more taste than a skank like you'
'Think all you like honey but guys are interested in one thing and one thing only and I know that she aint giving it up. All I'd have to do is drop to my knees and show him what he's missing out on and he'd be all mine'
All faces at the table cringe, Lucas Scott included.
'Peyton that's enough' He murmurs.
'Lucas knows. Don't you Lucas?'
He's bright red and all he can see is Haley's face go from hurt to confused to shocked to a perfected disapproving glower and he knows he's going to get an earful tonight.
She's going to tell him he's unbelievable.
She does...well her version isn't put so nicely and is about three pitches higher than her normal voice.
'You absolute pig, Lucas Eugene Scott! I can't believe you! You talk about love and marriage and you go to the park with that skank and let her, her do that!'
'It wasn't like that-'
'She's vile Lucas. She's a slut. Do you think you're the only guy she's been doing stuff with? I don't understand why you want to be near that- all she's done is cause drama-'
'Don't be mean Hales, it doesn't suit you' He cuts in. 'You don't know her like I do okay? She's had a lot of shit happen to her and I know it doesn't excuse her behaviour but it explains it'
Haley's scowl softens, she crosses her arms. 'What do you know that none of us do Luke?' She wonders apprehensively, her lips still thin with doubt.
'I'm not about to start gossiping about her behind her back-'
'Well you seem so eager for us all to be friends but you know what, so far she's not given us much reason to want to be'
He looks troubled. He is troubled because Haley is his best friend and they don't have secrets but these aren't his secrets to share.
'She's not the Sawyer's niece is she?'
His eyes dart up to look at her.
'I'm not stupid Luke. Who is she?'
He swallows thickly. 'She...she's a foster kid' Haley nods once, seemingly unsurprised by this revelation. 'And you can just imagine that she's been through some, some not so nice things'
'Right. Has she told you about those things?'
He nods once. 'Her mum's dead and..and her step dad use to, to abuse her, sexually' He avoids her eyes.
'Oh'
'Yeah' He exhales a heavy breath. 'She acts, she acts like it's not a big deal but it, it is Hales. And I know, I know she's hard work but it's not like you to give up on someone, can you just, just trust me and trust that there's a good person in there somewhere. She, she'll expect you all to hate her, I think she finds it easier if she just keeps everyone at arms length but she needs some friends so can you just please give her another chance? The thing with Nate- she won't try anything, she's just all talk and besides do you really not trust him?' Haley sheepishly shifts her weight. 'She's use to being used by guys, I don't think she gets that someone can just be interested in friendship'
'See Luke, you just tell me all that, you're saying how awful it must be for her. That I should be nice, that Brooke and I should make a real effort because she's been through hell and back but here you are just acting like every other guy she's ever known!'
'Hales-'
'I'm not finished!' She yells. 'All she's used to is men using her, that's what you said and yet you take her to the park and make her give you a blow job?'
'I didn't make her do anything!' He snaps.
'I don't care Luke! How hard is it to say no? NO-'
'You weren't there okay?' He flails his hands. 'I feel awful. It just keeps happening'
'Keeps?' If looks could kill he wouldn't be alive round about now, he's sure.
He sinks onto his bed, head in hands. 'She makes it hard to say no Hales'
'Because she's been taught that to get someone to like her it's what she has to do'
He nods glumly.
'I really like her Haley'
'You like her or you like what she's willing to do to you?' She proposes. 'Because that's two different things entirely Luke and you should think about it'
'Why aren't you touching me?' She complains, pressing his palm against her breast.
'Peyton' He extracts his hand from her grip. 'Stop'
'What? What's wrong? Do you want me to take my top off?'
'No!' He snaps, grabbing her hands. 'I mean no' He repeats calmly. 'This needs to stop'
'What does?'
'This. Coming here. Doing this' He's aware he's not making much sense but this isn't easy, especially with her pressed against him.
'Well we could go to your house but Anna's always lurking at mine and watching my every fucking move'
He gives her a disapproving look like he does every single time she bad mouthes the Sawyer's.
'What? She does!'
'I didn't mean we can't come here anymore. I meant we've got to stop doing this'
She gets it this time and is quick to distance herself.
Without a word she moves off of him and is gathering her belongings.
He waits for her to say something but when it becomes clear that's not going to happen he's on his feet and shadowing her moves. 'Peyton' He touches her arm.
'Don't fucking touch me queer-'
'Hey' He grabs her. 'I just want us to slow this down because I like you so much' He blurts out before she breaks free.
She stares at him, her eyes narrowed.
'I don't want this to just be about the sex'
'We've not had sex'
'Can you just stop being so god damn obstinate for five seconds. You know what I mean. I just want to take you out on a few dates, I want to take you to dinner and to the movies and-'
'Why?'
'Why not? Because it's fun'
'If you're not into me then-'
'I think you're so fucking beautiful that I can't think straight half the time but I want to get to know this' He puts his hand over her heart.
He thinks she looks like she's about to cry but just as quick as it's there her hard expression is back and then she's smiling. 'You just said fucking'
He smiles. 'So I did. So what do you say?'
'Fine. But you're buying'
'I wouldn't have it any other way'
'Why're you sat out here?'
'Because he's being a fucking jerk. So I don't feel like doing any work, he doesn't have to get up in my face about it'
Lucas sits down. He doesn't get why she plays up so much at school. She's not like this when they're alone. 'Why're you doing this?'
She's sulking and he's not surprised when he doesn't get an answer.
'Peyt you've got to do the work. You think I feel like doing it half the time? We have to do it so we can get out of here and get jobs out in the real world'
'Well I've got news for you Lucas Scott, I've lived in the real world and you don't need fucking fractions and multiplications to get by'
He notes her watery eyes.
He's not seen her cry. Not once.
She's tough. Tougher than anyone he knows. Stronger than anyone he's ever met and yet she's sat here getting upset over some math lesson and he doesn't understand.
And then it clicks.
'Are you struggling to keep up with his lessons?'
'I'm not stupid. I'm not'
No, he thinks. That's the last thing she is.
She's fiddling with her fingers. She's avoiding his stare and then she's speaking again in a fast ramble of words.
And it's honesty and his heart swells because it's the first time she's shown any trust in him.
'I just, before I moved here I, I didn't exactly go to school properly for a while and... and it's, it's hard'
'Peyt it's okay. Haley helps me out all the time because I suck at everything accept English. If you just let him-'
'No I'm not talking to that fucking sleaze' She blurts.
'Okay, okay. Well how about Haley. She's a tutor. I'm sure she'd help you'
She's biting her finger nail and looking so unsure of herself and he wants to hug her but he doesn't because he knows she'd see it as pity.
'Haley hates me' She musters quietly.
'She doesn't hate you. She may not be fond of you'
A small smile curls her lips and he squeezes her knee.
'And her being my best friend and all means she has to do me favours once in a while' He grins. 'But it would help if you could try not being such a bitch to her'
She bites her lip. 'I suppose I could try'
'That's my girl' His arm moves round her and he kisses her on the lips. And suddenly maths doesn't seem to matter at all.
'Hey honey. Good day at school?' Anna smiles and it's mothering and kindness.
Peyton shrugs.
'I'm making cookies' The older woman announces.
The teenager slouches on the sideboard, showing mild interest.
'You want to help?'
'Pot cookies?'
Anna's eyes widen.
'Joking' Peyton grins. 'It's okay; Luke's coming round' She starts to head toward the stairs.
'That's fine sweetie, but you keep the door open okay?'
Peyton halts in her path, a perfect glower on her lips. 'Sure. When we want to have sex we'll go over to his'
She bites her tongue because she doesn't want to get into a fight. Anna exhales heavily as the skinny blonde's feet continue and then they're thumping up the stairs and she jumps with the bang that follows as the bedroom door is slammed shut.
She wants to be this girls friend. She wishes more than anything that they could be friends but it's been more than six months and she's sure Peyton hates her impossibly more with each passing day.
'Hi Mrs Sawyer' Lucas' voice tears her from her daze.
'Oh Luke. Hi honey' She wipes at her glassy eyes and forces a smile.
'Is...is everything okay?'
'Oh yes. Yes. Fine, everything's fine' She nods enthusiastically but her eyes say something else entirely.
'Okay then. Is she upstairs?' He points to the ceiling.
'Yes'
He nods and hesitantly moves in the direction of the hallway.
'Lucas?'
He turns back. 'Yes?'
'How, how...is she okay?' She's looking down, avoiding his young blue eyes. 'She doesn't...she's not too fond of me and well I...I worry'
He steps back into the room. 'I think' He pauses because he wants to word this well. 'I don't think it's that she doesn't like you Mrs Sawyer. I think it's that she likes you a whole lot'
'Well she certainly doesn't show it'
'Of course she doesn't' He's standing directly next to her now. 'Her mother never cared about her, not as much as you do and she barely knows you. I think that's really difficult for her to understand and I don't think she'll allow herself to have you because having you means she can loose you and who's ever stuck around to make her trust that you might stay?'
Anna looks at him for a long moment. 'I'm glad she's got you' She squeezes his shoulder. 'Smart boy'
He smiles. 'I'm the lucky one. When she's not being a bitch she's actually alright' He jokes.
Anna smiles but then it falters. 'I...We've told her she can't have anyone round after ten and that the door has to stay open if she has a boy round'
'That's fine, I understand'
'I'm not so naive that I think that stops you though'
He's suddenly not so at ease and she smiles reassuringly.
'You're being safe aren't you?'
'We're not...' He shakes his head. 'We haven't...we haven't...'
'You haven't?' She's surprised.
'No'
Her smile widens tenfold. 'That makes me a whole lot happier honey. She, she's been through a lot-'
'I know'
'You do?'
He shifts his weight and nods. He wants to get out of here because this whole conversation is making him uncomfortable.
'She's talked to you?'
'Not really. The odd thing' He swallows. 'Can I, can I...' He points to the door and then Anna's nodding and apologising.
'Of course, yes go on up'
He's pretty sure Peyton would want to skin him alive if she'd heard any of this conversation but it's worth it because Anna looks truly happy and that means everything.
'How's things with Lucas?'
Peyton shoves her dog eared workbook back in her bag and shrugs.
She's been meeting Haley at Karen's cafe once a week. It's a safe zone and usually Lucas is lurking nearby to make sure they're both getting along. Not that it's really necessary any more.
'Fine. Why?' She kinks her brow and watches suspiciously as Haley busies herself with packing up her pencil case.
'Oh no reason. I just wondered. He really cares for you'
Peyton licks her lips and pulls the strap of her bag over her shoulder. 'We're just hanging out' She doesn't want Haley to make this into a big deal. She doesn't want to define what's going on with her Lucas. She's aware that suddenly people have started referring to them as a couple and she doesn't appreciate people putting that label on them.
'He won't ever hurt you'
Peyton's knowing green eyes narrow. 'Why do you say that?'
Haley swallows thickly because the blonde's expression is fierce. She shakes her head dumbly.
'He told you didn't he?' She crosses her arms in front of herself and rolls her eyes. 'Of course he told you'
'Peyton-'
'Does everyone know?'
'No of course not'
'You expect me to believe you've just kept this juicy bit of gossip to yourself?' Peyton snorts. 'Haley you may be a goody two shoes but you're only human'
'Nathan. Nathan knows too' The conscientious brunette is hasty to spurt. 'He won't tell anyone. I won't tell anyone. Peyton I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine-'
'Don't pity me Hales. It's not a fucking big deal. Everyone always thinks it's a big deal'
'What's going on?' Lucas has appeared.
Peyton doesn't even bother to glance at him. 'You can stay out of it' She mutters, her feet quickly carrying her to the cafe entrance. Despite being half way out the door she manages to hear Haley's parting hushed words behind her.
'That's because it is a big deal'
She hasn't spoken to him for thirteen days.
She won't see him.
And he dies a little bit inside when rumours start buzzing round the locker room that she was at some party last night and she hooked up with some college guy.
His fellow team members make crude comments about her and the next thing he knows is Nathan is holding him back and preventing his fist from causing any serious damage and then he's in the principles office and he's never been here before.
He's let off lightly with a detention.
He has his good reputation to thank for that.
She's lurking by his locker when he's finally set free from his punishment.
He walks straight past her and she runs a couple of paces to catch up.
'Lucas'
'Leave me alone'
'Did you really get in a fight?'
He stops walking. 'Did you really fuck some stranger at a fucking party last night?'
Her eyes are wide and her mouth opens and closes.
'You know, I know you're pissed at me right now and sure, maybe you have every right to be but that, it is not okay' His voice echos down the empty corridor. 'I know we've not talked about this and I'm sure you weren't exclusively with me in the beginning but things have been different for a while. This' He wavers his hand between them. 'This was a relationship and you don't, you don't get to-'
'I didn't fuck him!' She exclaims.
He's breathing heavily. He doesn't feel relief because her eyes are teary and then one escapes and races down her cheek.
'I...I...we, we made out and he, he touched me and stuff but, I couldn't...I got upset-'
'He hurt you?' He asks through gritted teeth.
She shakes her head vigorously. 'No. He was sweet about it actually. He took me home.' She sniffles. 'I'm grounded now too because they said I couldn't go and on top of that I missed my curfew' She whispers.
He pinches the bridge of his nose.
'Lucas I'm sorry' She croaks.
Her hands are grappling at the front of his jacket and he's torn between shoving them away and tugging her close.
'Please...I'm so sorry' She babbles. 'I'm an idiot. Everyone's right. I'm a slut and, and you deserve better...I just, I was mad...I'm fucking stupid...I'm...fuck...I-'
'You're not stupid' His hand hesitantly laces over hers. 'It's okay for you to be mad at me' He says slowly. He's trying to keep his voice calm, he fears if he speaks any faster his rage will arise with it. 'But, but this, we, we're exclusive. Do you understand? You don't get to do that again. Ever'
She's nodding and he wipes away the tears that are making tracks on her red cheeks.
'I'm sorry'
'Me too' He presses his forehead to hers. 'No more fucking games'
'You swore'
'You made me'
'I promise never again'
And he believes her.
They're in his room.
Karen is working late.
She's topless and so is he and her denim skirt is hoisted up round her waist and they both know this is different to any other time they've done this.
There's an intensity to their kisses.
There's an unspoken understanding that they're going to go further than touching each other.
Her fingers deftly work open his pants and then her feet push his jeans down and her adept movements keep reminding him that she's done this before.
But her confidence dwindles when his hand toys with the waistband of her panties.
But he knows her and he notices because he notices everything. 'Are you okay?'
She bites her lip as she looks up at him through long lashes. 'I, I've not done this'
'You haven't?' His eyebrows shoot up on their own accord.
'In a while. I haven't done this in a while.'
'You haven't?'
She whacks him.
'Sorry, I just, I mean, I didn't mean to say, to sound-'
'Lucas' She whispers pleadingly for him to shut up. 'I know' She knows that when she first got here she gave off the pretence that she was sleeping around. She wasn't aware that he actually thought it. 'I've done stuff...just not this, I haven't...not since...not since him'
He swallows and strokes her cheek. 'We don't have to do anything, we can stop'
'No, I, I want to, I just, I don't want to disappoint you'
'That's not possible and anyhow I've, I've never...I've never done this so there's nothing for me to compare it too' He admits.
She isn't surprised but she doesn't tell him so.
'I...I think you have it in your head that I, I'm experienced or whatever and I, I guess I am but I'm not at the same time because whenever I've done this it's, it's never been because I've wanted to...it's...' She trails off because his eyes have glazed over and she's never seen him look at her the way he is. She smiles and shakes her head. 'This conversation is a right turn off isn't it?'
He blinks. 'I fucking, I fucking hate...I wish I'd known you...I'd kill him...I really wish I...'
'Hey' She wants to change the subject because she's just made this sombre when it's meant to be anything and everything but that. 'No one's ever looked at me like you do'
He forces himself to breathe deeply. To focus on her not on all the awful things she's been made to suffer through. 'And how do I look at you?'
Peyton smiles. 'Like I'm, I don't know, like I'm special or something'
'You are' He tells her sternly, cupping her face. 'So, so special'
Her hands join behind his neck and she brings his mouth down to hers and she's suddenly not so nervous because although she's spent a long time associating this act with pain, it's completely different this time. Because Lucas could never hurt her.
He's too sweet. Too kind. Too fucking much of a gentleman.
He does nothing but kiss her for a long while. Then their hands map out each other's body and then, when the time finally comes their eyes stay locked as he pushes into her and she's amazed at how tender and gentle he is and her heart flutters when his voice husks across her lips.
'Are you okay?'
Her legs wrap around him, cradling him, bringing him impossibly closer and he groans and drops his forehead to hers.
Her fingers dig into him and he worries. He worries too much. He worries it's because she's in pain and his eyes snap open and he asks her again if she's okay.
'Mm. I just, this feels so different'
'Good different?' He hopes.
She arches her back. 'Fucking great different' and rolls her hips to meet his thrusts 'Do that again' And he tries to imitate whatever the hell it is he just did but he's struggling to listen to her words because this is mind numbing. 'Are you sure you've not done this before?'
He smiles into her neck. He hears those words and he's sure she's just trying to make him feel better about the fact that this is going to be over pretty quickly but all the same he appreciates it.
'I love you Peyton' He murmurs in her ear as he comes.
She doesn't say it back.
She hears every last syllable though and a tear races down her cheek, not because she's sad. But because she knows it, because he just showed her, because she loves him too and she's never been happier.
'Anna?' She loiters in the older woman's bedroom.
Anna looks up in surprise.
It's a late Saturday morning.
'Is everything alright honey?'
'I was...I was wondering...'
'Yes?' Anna urges.
'Would you help me?'
'Of course darling. What is it?'
She pulls out a crumpled green satin dress from behind her. 'This' She shifts her weight. 'It, it was my mum's'
Anna pats the bed beside her and Peyton tip toes further into the room, hesitantly seating herself on the edge of the mattress.
'I...I was hoping to maybe wear it on Lucas' birthday next week'
'That's a lovely idea honey' Anna's fingers caress the satin material. 'The colour matches your eyes'
Peyton bites her lip. 'I can remember she wore it when I was real little. I...I had this obsession with wanting to be a ballerina for a while...it was stupid' Her eyes skitter up to the older woman's loving gaze. 'She...she persuaded this guy she was dating to take us to the ballett...it's one of the few things she did for me and I felt like a princess and she looked so happy'
'I'm sure she'd love you to wear it'
Peyton laughs. She doubts that but she doesn't say so.
'The last time she wore it she was more than a little drunk' She closes her eyes and turns the crumpled dress over to reveal the red wine stain covering the front panel. 'It was my fault'
'It wasn't your fault'
You weren't there. You don't know.
She sees that night play over in her head so frequently. The night her mother actually realised what was going on behind her back, the night her mother found out but did nothing to protect her. She can hear the screaming. Her mother's vile words directed at her not him. He hits her mother and tells her that he doesn't want her anymore. That she's not good enough. That Peyton is who he really wants. And when Peyton tries to console her hours later the glass of red wine pours down her front followed by the piercing scream of you're not my daughter. Not anymore.
'Honey?'
Peyton opens her eyes. 'Is there any way we can fix it?' She wonders quietly.
'I'm sure I could do something'
Peyton's answering smile is small.
'Darling, she may have said and done things that are unforgivable but know that she didn't mean them. She loved you. Even if she didn't show it sometimes' Anna softly tells her.
Peyton's vision blurs under the onslaught of threatening tears. 'I'm so sorry I've been so mean to you' She abruptly blurts.
'Oh sweetie, you haven't. Not really' Anna runs her hand over Peyton's golden head and cradles her in her arms and the teenager doesn't struggle or fight. She surrenders. She's done fighting and for a moment she allows herself this. She revels in this; in a mother's loving embrace.
She doesn't get to wear that dress for his birthday though.
Mick Wolf's arrival in Tree Hill causes a stir throughout the town. He's here for one thing only though. He's here for his aledged daughter.
Unlike the rest of the neighbourhoods hysteria, Peyton's less than pleased. Life, for the first time in ever has suddenly become perfect. She's happy and she never knew what that felt like before. She doesn't know this man. Well, of course she knows him, she just doesn't know him as her father and she doesn't want to.
There's arguments. Larry and Anna don't want her to go either. They want to adopt her.
That word resonates in her mind as it filters loudly up the stairs.
Despite having not been there for her at any point during her life, her biological father is seemingly hell bent on being a parent to her now.
Lucas comes round amidst the onslaught of legalities being exchanged. He slips upstairs unheard and when he enters Peyton's room she's crying.
'I don't want to g-go'
He holds her tightly. 'You're not going anywhere. I won't let him. I can't loose you. I love you' He breathes into her hair and she clings to him.
They all know what this is. Somehow it's been leaked that Mick Wolf was conencted to Elizabeth Harp once upon a time, it's leaked that he's in fact the father of the love child that was thrown to social services. To save his reputation he's having to take responsibility. Only he doesn't seem to care that this isn't what she needs. He claims he can provide the best life for her, but can he povide love? Right or wrong doesn't enter the equation.
Peyton's forced to leave.
The two young lovers are pulled apart and Peyton screams as she's dragged to the car and Larry and Anna tearfully promise her they're going to see her again.
It's three month before they do.
She's sitting in the foyer of a hotel in New York, when they walk through the spinning doors.
They've flown here especially to see her.
This has been her home for the past twelve weeks- the pent house, only she doesn't think of it as a home. She wondered how many kids would have been jumping up and down with joy at such a change in fortune. Eighteen months ago she was in a home, now she's living with a rock star living the high life. Only she isn't happy, nor does she appreciate any of it. She was happy in Tree Hill, she was happy with the Sawyer's. She wanted to be a Sawyer.
'Peyton' Anna grins, hurrying over to her. They embrace tightly and Peyton smiles at Larry over her shoulder. 'Oh I missed you honey' Anna pulls back and kisses her forehead before looking deep into her eyes. 'Are you alright?'
'I'm good'
'You sure? Because if he-'
'Mick's fine'
'Yeah?'
'Yeah'
They spend the day together and Peyton is quiet and closed off.
She pleads them not to take this to court.
She knows they can't afford to go forth into a legal battle with Mick Wolf.
And she knows they haven't got a hope in winning.
They tell her they won't ever stop fighting for her.
It breaks their hearts when she stands up in court two months later. Her eyes blank of emotion as she announces 'I'd like to stay with my dad. I'd like to stay with Mick Wolf'
They don't understand.
Lucas understands. He gets her. He hates her in that moment. He wants her to think about herself and not everyone else because that's exactly what she's doing.
She thinks he deserves someone better. She thinks the Sawyer's don't need her to put up with. She thinks it's easier if she stays here.
'Honey why did you do that?' Anna demands afterwards.
'Cause now I have this' Peyton hands over a crumpled cheque and their eyes widen in confusion.
'What's this?'
'A lotta money' Peyton's smile is forced and weary. 'I couldn't stop you from fighting for me and I know it cost you a lot of money, money that you can't afford but now you don't have to worry financially about anything and you can do all the things you've ever wanted and go all the places you've ever wanted. Just think of it as a thank you'
'Honey we don't want that money. Our finances are our concern not yours. We'd never accept that, especially when it's money that he's bribed you with. We want you' Anna's voice quivers. Larry takes the cheaque and tears it up.
'I can just put it in the post'
'And I'll tear it up again and again' Larry sternly tells her. 'We want you'
'Maybe but, it, it's better this way' She steps back. 'Please don't call or write me anymore'
Her number has been disconnected. He's not surprised. She's made it clear she's not going to talk to him and of course that means her getting a new number. A new number that she'll never give him.
He can't not talk to her though. Even if he can't hear her voice back. So he writes. He writes her a lot.
He never gets a reply. Not that he expects one.
She'd made it pretty clear that she felt like he was better than her, that he deserved more than her. She'd told him that she needed him to move on. That they were over.
He knew better than to believe her words. Her words and thoughts have never really matched up.
She says one thing and thinks the other.
She kept her true feelings under wraps because it was safer that way.
But he'd known. He'd been persistant and he knew her. He knew the way she worked.
So he writes, continues to write because he wants her to read his words, to know that he's not given up on her, to know that he's not going to give up on her.
He's so certain of his love for her.
He doesn't think he can feel this way about another human being. Ever.
It's so intense.
So overwhelming at times.
And he knows she's troubled, he knows she needs help.
It doesn't phase him.
Because he needs her right back. It might not be obvious to anyone else. It might not be obvious to her. But he needs her too and it doesn't matter that she doesn't even know it yet.
Or so he thinks.
She thinks he can stand on his own two feet just fine. She thinks she's burden.
But he knows that's not true.
It's why he's standing outside the building she now lives in.
It's why he's ignored the fact that they've not spoken a word face to face for going on two months.
His mother wouldn't let him come until he finished all his exams.
He's argued with her about it. It's probably the first time he's yelled at her.
But he understood at the same time.
He gets why she put her foot down.
He knows she has his best interests at heart.
And he feels nothing but relief as he stands on the busy street.
Because he thinks he's going to walk into this building and get Peyton to see sense.
'Can I help you?'
He's not surprised by the barriers before him. She's living with a rock star, that alone makes her inaccessible.
'I'm visiting a friend- I think she's in the pent house, Peyton-'
'Yes Miss Wolf. Is she expecting you?'
Miss Harp. He thinks. Her name is Miss Harp.
'Er no. I-'
'I'm sorry but-'
'Can you just tell her I'm here. She'll come down if she knows I'm here'
The person behind the front desk looks at him dubiously.
'Can I take your name?'
'Lucas, Lucas Scott'
His heart sinks when the girl wh the smiling face disappears and her boss comes back not moments later looking sympathetic.
'I'm sorry Mr Scott but Miss Wolf isn't here at the minute'
'I'll wait'
'Son, it's time to go'
'I'll wait'
'Peyton doesn't want to see you'
His eyes narrow.
He doesn't believe this man.
He needs her to tell him.
He backs away from the reception.
He waits all day.
He sits across from the building. And waits.
It's early evening when he finally spies her.
His heart races.
She looks different.
Her hair is dead straight.
She's wearing a dress that isn't her and he thinks if he didn't know her so well he'd question as to if it was really her.
But it is.
He knows those legs. Those lips. Those eyes.
She's with some man and he assumes it's a body guard because that's the kind of circle she's running in now. The kind where her father's famous face could potentially put her in danger.
He hates that. It makes him light headed.
And he doesn't see how it's any less detrimental to her than it was being in a home.
It's isolating.
It's exhausting. Lonely and completely fucks with your mind.
It's the last thing someone like her needs.
She's gone through the rotating doors now and he doesn't care that he's already been turned away from the front desk.
Determination fuels his every steps.
Without much though he finds himself round the building. Through a back entrance. Up a fire escape.
He finds his way through the maze of corridors and stairs.
Somehow he finds his way.
But as soon as he's standing where he wants to be he wishes he wasn't here at all.
He wishes this wasn't her.
Because she's kissing the man she came in here with and she's straddling the man she came in here with.
And she's suddenly a stranger and she's not his Peyton at all.
But she is. She is.
And his heart breaks.
And his stomach turns.
And he hates her and he loves her and he wants to kill this man.
This man is a lot older. That's all he can focus on. Old enough to be her dad.
And in his mind this man resembles the step father that hurt her.
And he sees red.
And he wants to kill.
The man notices they have company and then she's looking at him too and her green eyes are shocked and horrified and she's pushing herself up and off of her guest and she's holding her dress up over her chest and he doesn't know why because he's seen her naked. Plenty of times.
And then she's walking across the room and her hands burn him as they push him out of the room and she pulls the doors shut behind them.
'What the hell are you doing in here?' Her voice hisses. Her arms go back through the sleeves of her gaping dress. The zip and the side is tugged up.
He doesn't answer at first.
This isn't her.
He wants to start the day over.
He wants to grab her on the sidewalk and try to speak to her down there.
He wants to do everything differently.
Anything that changes him seeing her doing that with someone that isn't him.
'What am I doing? What're you doing?' His face is red hot. 'He...He's old enough to be your fucking dad Peyton!'
A lump forms in the back of her throat.
'Noth-'
'You...you were-'
'We're not together Lucas, you and me, we're not together. You're not my boyfriend anymore! And you're trespassing on private property, you can't just fucking waltz in-'
'You wouldn't see me, now I see why' He barks.
Tears sting her eyes but she turns away so he can't see. 'You need to go'
'No. Not until you tell me why' He grabs at her arm and spins her around and she closes her eyes tight because she doesn't want to see the hurt written all over his face. 'I love you Peyton!' He shouts.
'Lucas I'm sorry! I'm sorry okay?' She snaps suddenly. She opens her eyes, cold and hard. 'I'm sorry I did this to you, that you think this' She wavers her hand between them. 'Was more than what it was-'
'Don't do that. Don't make out like it didn't mean anything!'
'It didn't! Not for me anyhow'
His hand withdraws from her like he's just been scolded.
He knows in his heart she doesn't mean it. He just knows but it doesn't make it any easier to hear. It doesn't stop him from doubting the simple truth.
'I wrote you nearly everyday'
'You need to stop. I don't read them. I throw them away' Her words don't waver. Ice cold, reigning strong and loud through the thick air 'It meant nothing'.
They stand in silence. His back is hunched and she wants to wrap her arms around his waist and tell him she doesn't mean it. But she doesn't because he needs to believe her.
She doesn't tell him that what he just walked in doesn't mean anything. He's her father's friend. She's doing it to piss him off. She's doing it because she's bored. She's doing it because she can. She's doing it because she can't do it with who she really wants. Because she's set free Lucas Scott.
'Fine, you don't want a relationship with me. That's fine. I can't do anything about that but you should stay in contact with the Sawyer's. You can block me out but you can't block them out' He's speaking calmly. Rationality has found him and he depends on it because otherwise he's going to break down. Right here in front of her.
'Why would I stay in contact with them?-'
'Because they're your parents' He looks at her.
She snorts. 'Lucas they aren't my parents'
'No? Peyton, they took you in, they made you their priority despite everything you did they didn't want you to leave, they loved you. They still love you'
'I don't owe them anything. I gave them money. What more do they want' She barks.
He stares at her. Blue eyes wide and unforgiving. She's wrong he thinks. She owes them everything.
'Did you ever wonder why Anna and Larry never had their own baby? Did you ever wonder why they invited you into their home'
Her eyes are looking at him, wide with curiosity that she doesn't want to show but she wants to know. She wants to know what secrets he knows because she's intrigued. She's more than intrigued.
'They did have a daughter' He announces, his stare hard and voice ruthless. 'Emily. She was a year older than me and she was my best friend. We played together all the time'
She doesn't speak. Doesn't dare say a word because she's waiting for the rest.
'She died when I was eight. Car crash. Anna was in the car too. Her life was in the balance for a while but she made it despite the odds'
Now she's not speaking for a whole different reason. She wants to cry. Her throat burns and she doesn't know why.
'When they decided they wanted to have a child again they decided to try and adopt instead, they thought there was someone out there that needed them as much as they needed her'
She blinks.
'They were right. Only she's too damn stubborn to see what she needs even if it's right in front of her' He grits his teeth. 'Push me away all you like but don't you dare hurt them. They don't deserve it. They've already lost one daughter'
He's just finished his second year of college. He comes home for summer break.
She's sitting on the steps of the Sawyer's front porch and he thinks he's seeing things.
He stands there staring.
She has to be a dream because this can't be real.
She looks different. She looks good. She looks healthy.
He's been standing there for so long that she's risen to her feet and walking down the path.
'Luke' She smiles and he blinks several times. 'Hi'
'Er...hey' He's a little lost for words because she's not a dream. He's not going crazy. She's here. Standing in front of him. 'You're here' He points out the obvious.
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and nods.
'You- I...When, how... are you living here?' He rambles.
'Yes' She smiles.
His brow furrows, his eyes skitter over her. She's holding a book in her arms and he squints to try and make out what it is because Peyton doesn't read.
'I've been here for about a year'
'My Mum didn't tell me' He's flabbergasted more than anything but he's angry too because his mother must of known.
'I asked her not to. I didn't want to distract you from college'
He rubs the back of his neck. This is a lot. A lot to take in and he wants to sit down and he wants to reach out and touch her and he wants to ask her a million things.
'You were right Luke...about pretty much everything' She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. It's darker now. More natural and he loves it. 'Anna and Larry are...wonderful, have been wonderful. They've helped me so much.' She sucks her bottom lip into her mouth and it strikes him how nervous she seems. 'I'm doing this course' She holds out her book and he can make out the words now. 'Social work...I'm going to help people like me. I think I can do that'
He feels his heart swell with pride because she's striving to do something with her life and he couldn't be more proud. 'That's great Peyton. You'll be wonderful at it'
Her lips curl into a smile and she shrugs. 'I hope so... How's college?'
'Alright' He nods. He doesn't want to talk about him. It's boring. She, on the other hand, he wants to know every single thing about. He leans on the fence. 'So what happened with Mick?'
'I'd turned eighteen. I could do what I like. He didn't really say much'
'I'm sorry'
She shakes her head. 'I should be the one saying I'm sorry...will you come inside?' She proposes.
He looks past her to the house, uncertainty lingering in his blue eyes.
'I promise I won't try to jump you' She jokes awkwardly.
He smiles. He remembers that day so clearly that it merely seems like yesterday. He remembers her forceful hands pushing him down on the sofa. He remembers her lips on his. He remembers her broken green eyes.
She's changed from that girl.
'Okay, just for a bit'
She pulls back the gate separating them and they go inside.
She leads him straight to her room and he thinks perhaps he misunderstood her intentions but then she's opening her closet door and standing on her tip toes and dragging a cardboard box from it's home.
'I wanted to show you something' She reveals. Setting the dusty box on the bed.
His eyes that have been greedily taking in her lived in room, move to the box in question and his brow raises.
'I lied to you. I said I hadn't read them. I said that I threw them away' She lifts the lid. Letter upon letter tumbles from the bulging box, onto the bed. 'I didn't. I kept them. I read every single one'
His heart is racing.
'I know them all off by heart.'
His mouth opens and closes. He doesn't know what to say. He wants to voice his relief. His frustration. His anger.
Because she broke him and he knows it's not her fault. He knows she's not to blame because she's been through a lot in her life and she's come a hell of a long way.
But he's missed her and it's been hard but now- seeing her bed covered in his words, his words of love, he feels relieved.
'Peyton...why, why're you showing me these?' He needs her to be honest with him. He's spent his time wallowing, concentrating on his studies to avoid having to think about where she was, if she were safe, if she were happy. He's spent his time thinking that she doesn't care about him.
'Because they mean everything Luke. To me, they mean everything' Her eyes are quick to look away.
And his heart soars because he knows she's telling the truth then. She doesn't ever look him in the eye when she's speaking the truth and he knows it's because she finds it hard to speak the truth, to be honest.
'I don't expect you to forgive me or anything. Not after the things I did and said and although deep down I hope one day you will be able to, a part of me really hopes you don't because you deserve so much better than me and-'
He can't listen to anymore of her words.
Because they're turning into nonsence.
She gasps when his hands touch her face and tilts her head to look at him.
He smiles.
'I forgive you' He says simply.
Because it really is that simple.
'What's wrong?' He's watching her. Reading her. Knowing her.
He does it so very well.
'Nothing...just this kid, I'm having trouble getting her to trust me and I think she really needs my help'
She flips through the file on the table before her and he stops drying the plates on the draining board.
They live together. They're adults.
'What kind of trouble is she in?' He asks tentatively.
His eyes are focused solely on her now but she doesn't look up, she's skimming over the reports and half listening. He waits because he knows how wrapped up she gets in these cases. It can be a bit much sometimes. It puts strain on their relationship from time to time but he knows it's important for her to be able to talk to him and she does, just in her own time.
'Peyt?'
'Sorry' She urges him closer and he stands at her side, hand on the back of her chair. 'She's fifteen, there's been an ongoing investigation since she was about twelve. Her Mum's in prison and she lives with her step dad and social workers believe he's sexually abusing her but she denies such claims and there's no proof'
'Have you told her?'
'Told her what?'
'That you've been through exactly the same thing' Her eyes avert to him. He knows she doesn't like him bringing up this subject. She'd once talked about it candidly. As though it meant nothing but now it's different. Now she clams up and falls to pieces.
'Luke-'
'Peyt' His hand soothes over her cheek and he bends down to kiss the top of her head. 'Maybe if you're honest with her, she'll trust you. She'll realise you understand more than anyone'
'Happy Birthday Baby' She spins around in front of him in their walk in closet.
'Wow'
She smiles bashfully at him in the mirror.
'You're beautiful'
'You like it?'
His hands snake round her satin covered waist.
'Do I? So beautiful' He whispers.
'It was my Mum's' She bites her lip.
He stops running his hands up and down her sides because she never brings her mother up.
'Yeah?' He turns her and cups her cheek.
'Yeah...I hate her so much Luke'
He listens attentively.
'But, but wearing this, I feel...' She closes her eyes. 'It's wrong that I love looking in the mirror and seeing her looking back at me' She abruptly moves away. 'Why do I want to feel close to her in some way when she...I hate her. God I'm sorry, it's your birthday. Time and a place right?'
'Baby' He's behind her again, one hand at her waist, the other moving up and down her arm. 'You can hate and love someone, it's okay' His voice soothes in her ear. 'She wronged you in so many ways but at the end of the day she was your mother and I bet she's looking down on you right now and she paid ultimate price. She's missed out on you and I know she wishes she could come back because no one could ever have enough of you'
She rests her head back against him and cranes her neck to look up at him. 'That's a load of shit Lucas Scott' She mutters with a small smile. 'But thank you'
He laughs. 'I don't think it is'
'I know you don't' Her hand holds his to her hip. 'But I can tell you one thing- if there is a fucking heaven there's a hell and that's where my Mother is'
He kisses her shoulder with a smirk. 'Okay, so she's not looking down, she's looking up'
Peyton shakes her head. They've come to agree to disagree when it comes to matters of the after life.
'You were right though'
'I usually am'
She rolls her eyes. 'About one thing'
'What thing?'
'Riley...the girl...I told her...I told her everything about me and she, she told me everything'
He knows how hard that would've been for her and he's prouder than proud and he tells her so and she laughs and shakes her head and twirls around in his arms.
'You're too good to me do you know that?'
'No I'm not. One day I hope you realise that you're the one that keeps my head above water'
She looks at him like he's stupid cause she thinks he is when he says shit like that but he says it so frequently that a small part of her is starting to think perhaps he's right. Perhaps he needs her too. Perhaps that's why they're so good together.
'So what's happening, to the girl?'
'We're trying to find somewhere for her to stay. She's been put in a home. There's a few foster parents available I just, I don't think any are suitable.' She scrunches her nose up. 'I guess I just find it hard sometimes, because no one can be as suitable as Larry and Anna were and she needs a couple just like them' She's looking at their joined hands. She likes how her smaller pair look in his. She likes the engagement ring that sits on her left hand. She likes that soon she'll be tied to him legally. 'Why are we talking about this right now? We should go, we'll miss our reservation and Nate and Hales are probably waiting' She starts to drag him out of the cupboard.
They're at the top of the stairs when he speaks again. 'What about us?'
'Hm?' She glances up at him, brow raised.
'What about us' He repeats.
'What're you talking about?'
'Riley. The girl. Why doesn't she come live with us?'
Her mouth gapes and then she's frowning and then she's smiling and shaking her head in disbelief. 'Have you lost the plot with your old age?' She teases.
'I'm really serious right now' He smiles. 'Come on, we'd be good at it right?'
'Erm...I dunno- our idea of fun is stuffing our faces with food and watching a film. We drink too much and we've never been responsible for anyone other than ourselves'
'Okay you just made us sound like couch potato alcoholics' He pokes her side. 'We're also financially stable. We love each other. We're ambitious and educated. You're a social worker. You're use to being around kids like this, you were one of these kids and me, I've dealt with you since the day we met!'
She whacks him lightly.
'You probably couldn't find more perfect people' He goes on.
'There's a shit load of documentation and legalities you have to go through to do this, you can't just roll up and volunteer to take on a child-'
'I know, but you know everything there is to know about this. We could do this' His hands are on her face and his blue eyes are twinkling with hope. Excitement. Happiness.
Butterflies flap restlessly in her stomach. 'You're serious?'
'A hundred percent'
'You're not just saying this because you think I need to help this kid- because we always said my job, this, that it wouldn't ever come between us'
'I'm saying this because I think we can help her. Because I want to. If you don't-'
'I do' She cuts off quickly.
And then she's smiling.
'I do'.
'Are you sure you're okay with this Luke because this is your choice too'
He's making the bed. It's striped purple, blue and pink. He wonders if it's too girly or if it's not girly enough.
He eyes her. She's standing across the room. The room that is soon to be the teenage girl they're welcoming into their life. She's chewing on her finger nails something he's come to know, means she's anxious about something.
'Baby if I wasn't up for it I would of said' He tucks the duvet in on the last side and then his attention is fully on her. He walks over to where she's awkwardly standing and presses his forehead to hers and strokes her cheek. 'I want to help her just as much as you I know you do'.
She nods once. Blinks twice.
'You do want to, right?'
She frowns and then walks away from him, further into the room. Her hand ghosts across the bed he's just made.
'Peyton?'
'Luke this has just got a whole lot more complicated' She abruptly turns her body to face him.
'Why?' He demands. He doesn't mean to sound angry but she can't be having second thoughts about this. She of all people knows that. They've already told Riley. They've already taken the time to get to know her. They've got her to the point where they hope she trusts them. This is not the time to be changing their minds.
'Peyton'
'I'm...I'm, I just found out that I'm, I might...'
'What?'
'I think I'm pregnant?'
His eyes bug out because of all the things he was anticipating her saying that was not it.
This isn't really something they've talked about in depth. He's always assumed it would happen one day because it's something he wants with her but he also knows she's a little bit iffy on the subject because she's got it into her head that she won't be a good mother.
She's not smiling. He's smiling.
'What?'
She pushes her tongue to the roof of her mouth. 'The doctor rang me up a little while ago but he could be wrong- they do make mistakes'
His in front of her. His hands find her abdomen. He's overjoyed and can't help but show it.
'This is going to be good Peyt. This is going to be wonderful. You don't need to worry' The expression on her face is sombre and it unsettles him. 'What's wrong? You don't look at all pleased'
'Lucas we're just about to bring a fifteen year old kid into our home, a fifteen year old kid that needs a lot of attention and support- a baby isn't ideal right now...'
His eyes narrow because he doesn't quite want to know what she's thinking right now because the underlying suggestion that is wrapped up in her words makes him feel sick because he won't let her get rid of this child. Their child. That is not an option. 'We can handle this. Riley is doing well. She's doing great, we can do this'
She runs her hands over her eyes and takes a shaky breath. 'I can't do this Luke! I can't be a mum'
He does well to disguise the anger flooding through him because he wants to shout at her that she can do this. That she's going to do this because this is his choice too.
'I can't do this' She's repeating it over and over like a mantra and he cuts in.
'Are you serious? Because you've already made that choice- with Riley'
'That's different. She's fifteen and I get her. I understand her'
'You'll understand your own child too'
'Will I?'
'Peyton-'
'My Mum didn't understand me Luke. She didn't know me at all, she didn't protect me'
He holds her hands because her voice is getting higher and she's getting distressed and he just wants to protect her.
'He came into my room at night and she did nothing. She hated me because he wanted me. She hated me for letting it happen' Her voice wobbles and she attempts to walk away but he holds her. He forces her head onto his shoulder and hums into her ear. He tells her he's right there. That he's got her. And she relaxes because he's all she needs. He's always got her.
'You didn't let it happen' His voice is stern in her ear.
She nods. Rationally, she knows that.
'She didn't protect me'
'No, she didn't' He agrees. 'She failed you baby. She did. But you're not her. You're far too kind and caring and loving to do what she did to you. You're going to be wonderful at this. We are. Together'
There's some complications with the baby and it's then that she knows she has to have this child.
The thought of this baby being taken away from them almost breaks her and she feels like it's her fault. She feels like she's brought this upon them. She'd initially contemplated options like termination, like adoption. It was her fault.
Of course Lucas doesn't see it that way when she breaks down, blubbering apology after apology.
He holds her and tells her it was just bad luck.
He holds her and tells her not to worry because this baby is going to be okay.
Like always, he's right.
The baby is born late summer.
When she holds her in her arms for the first time she knows this little life is her reason for existing.
She knows she'll do anything for this little baby.
Ten tiny fingers. Ten tiny toes.
For the first time she's certain that they'll be able to do this.
Lucas is stroking her hair away from her face as she stares down in awe at this perfect little baby that they created.
'We still haven't chosen a name' Peyton murmurs.
He kisses her forehead.
'I've thought of something pretty perfect I think'
She lifts her head to look at him. 'Oh?'
He smiles.
They call her Sawyer.
Peyton tells them she wanted her daughter to have a name she regards as her own, a name that has taught her what love and family really is.
Anna and Larry cry. Tears of joy. Tears of pride.
'Where do you think you're going?' Peyton shouts madly, running down the porch steps.
Sawyer is crying from upstairs.
She can hear Lucas, trying to calm her but his voice is frantic because he wants to be helping her with the situation that is unfolding on the front lawn.
Peyton grabs the determined youngsters bags, halting her departure.
'You've got a baby. You've got this wonderful life and I'm not a part of it-'
'Like hell you're not' Peyton declares loudly. 'You're a part of this family'
The sixteen year old shifts her weight and glares down at the ground and Peyton suddenly sees herself standing right before her.
'Honey' She exhales. 'Lucas and I, we wouldn't have invited you into our home unless we wanted you. Unless we were sure'
'I know that' Riley scuffs her shoe against the pavement. 'But you didn't know you were having a baby then. Things are different'
'No. You're right. We didn't' Peyton runs her hands through her hair. She's frantic and her heart is racing and she's trying to stay calm but she knows she can't physically force this girl to stay but she needs her to because she loves her. She does and it doesn't matter that this isn't her child. She understands now. She understands how Larry and Anna feel about her. She understands that they love her even though she was never theirs to love and it means so much more, it means so much more because they chose her and now she's choosing Riley. 'We didn't know and things are different and I don't regret having Sawyer, not for a second but if I could I would've made sure she came later. For you. Because we wanted you to settle in. To feel completely at home and I'm sorry if this baby makes you feel like you're not welcome here but that's not the way it is Riley' Her eyes are watering and she doesn't even try to disguise it. 'We love you'
The teenager's eyes skitter to the floor.
'We do and you can run away. You can fight us but I'm telling you now. We won't ever give up- I won't let you go'
'You say that now-'
'And it won't ever change' She cuts off. 'Did you know that after I'd been living with the Anna and Larry for about a year my biological Dad suddenly appeared?' The young girl's eyes wait impatiently for her to elaborate. 'I went to live with him. But they fort for me, it went to court and everything but I had it in my head that they'd be better off without me, that I was just trouble so I made it clear I wanted to stay with my father'
'You stayed with him?' She whispers.
'For a while. Yes. Until I realised I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Until Lucas showed up and made me realise that it wasn't just me that needed them. It was them that needed me too' She reaches for Riley's hand. 'Honey we don't just want you, we need you.'
The young girl's bottom lip quivers.
'So what do you say?'
Sawyer Scott is five years old when she stands at the end of the aisle holding her big sister's hand.
She scatters rose petals haphazardly in front of her throughout the ceremony.
They're like chalk and cheese.
Riley's hair is dark. Sawyer is all blonde curls.
But their skin is porcelain and their smiles are identical. Their smiles are the result of Peyton and Lucas.
They each say 'I do' and then they're kissing.
And Sawyer knows what that part means. She knows they're married now. At long last.
She holds her arms out and Riley lifts her up and she chants I do too, they both do and they laugh together.
And then their parents are looking at them.
And it's official. They are all Scotts on paper.
It's not just a marriage of their parents.
It's a marriage of the four of them.
Lucas, Peyton, Riley and Sawyer Scott; a family.