Author's Note:
Hi guys! I don't really have much to say to this so sit back, relax and enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I gain profit from this. All rights are reserved to Masashi Kishimoto.
"..." - speech
'...' - thoughts
cursiv - flashback/emphasizing
BIU - Quotes
Smile.
A facial expression characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision.
Isn't it funny, that you just have to put on a small smile to fool people into thinking that you are okay?
That if you act carefree and happy noone will suspect that you are in reality sad?
I personally believe it's hilarious.
I have my whole village fooled. The citizens, my supposed-to-be friends, even the Hokage.
They all have this image of me being this happy little orphan who lives life to the fullest without a care in the world. That I'm never sad, that I never cry, that I never scream, that I never have struggled to stay afloat..
They are wrong.
They are so so terribly wrong.
I'm dying inside.
Everyday.
In fact, I already feel dead.
I'm just a shell of my former self.
Left alone, broken and bruised.
Sometimes I fool myself into thinking that I don't care about all of this..
..but..
It hurts.
It hurts that my friends don't know me. They just have this false image of me that I have to life up to. They never stop to really look. To really focus and ask if I'm okay.
"Look underneath the underneath."
Hah, what a joke. They always told us to think ourselves, to question everything we're taught, to not just accept everything we're told, to wonder, to ask, to learn, to grow..
Yet absolutely noone does that.
Take me for an example.
Everyone knows that all these years ago the Nine-tailed fox demon who destroyed nearly the whole village and cause of many deaths, was sealed into me.
Yet everyone treats me like I am the demon.
So blinded by hatred and fear, they are unable to look underneath the underneath. To see that I'm just the Kyuubi vessel, not the demon itself.
...
Humans are strange creatures.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't born a human.
Sometimes I am ashamed to be a human.
...
Well, if you would ask anyone else they would confirm that I'm without a doubt everything but a human.
More like a monster, a demon in human form, born to bring destruction upon humanity.
...
In all my 18 years of living I have probably thought about death the most.
To finally fulfill the wish of the citizens and die.
So they can be happy and live life in peace.
It was especially tempting when I was a little kid, being all alone up against the world.
Sometimes I fooled myself into thinking that people would care, that they would mourn my death..
but then I thought about my funeral and how noone would come, that I would still be alone even after death.
...
It's sad, isn't it? To think that you are all alone in this big wide world.
...
...
I really want to die sometimes. To finally kill myself. To be finally free of all this hurt and sadness. To be happy.
...
But I won't do it.
I won't give them the satisfication they all wish so dear upon.
They want to get ride of me?
Hah, they can try all they want.
But they won't succeed.
...
After all, you can't kill someone whose already dead.
"Small minds can't comprehend big spirits. To be great, you have to be willing to be mocked, hated and misunderstood. Stay strong." – Unknown