in the Game...
by Strawberriee
¤ ¤ ¤
... and so Link goes face to face with Ganondorf. He is playing a tune on his organ.
Ganondorf: Hello, sweet Link.
Link: You look different than usual..
Ganondorf is dressed in a pink sundress and flip-flops. And warts and zits and pimples and a gay hairdo.
Ganondorf: (Whispering to imaginary friend) I told you the plastic surgery went good.
Link: Plastic.. what? You got surgery? Why?
Ganondorf: I wanted to look cute and feminine.
Link: You ain't going anywhere.
Ganondorf: And why the hell not. I am adorable, no? And..
Link: Retard..
Ganondorf: Huh? Retard? How dare you.
Link: What's the fucking problem, bitch? It ain't gonna hurt anyone. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Ganondorf: ...
Link: I never knew you were, well, gay.
Ganondorf: Well now you do. And hopefully you don't have anything against gaywads.
Link: Oh no! Never! (Snickers)
Ganondorf: Why are you laughing? Jealous of my feminine look?
Link: Who the hell do you think you are? You're the dumbest bastard I ever-
Ganondorf: Linky, dear. I am not a bastard anymore. I am a bitch.
Link: Bitch! Dumbest bitch I ever met, besides Saria who tried to date Mido. But enough of that.
Ganondorf: Well, I am not completely girlish, but I need about five more surgeries and I am girl-complete.
Link: Are you going to throw your useless manly life away to become the gayest he-she wannabe ever?
Ganondorf: Such words you must use. But yes I am.
Link: (Screams) Whoa. And this game was rating Everyone.
Ganondorf: I will show you my womanhood.
Link: Ugh, you're gay!
Ganondorf: I know.
Navi: I am here from my coffee HOLY MATRIMONI, GANON GREW BREAST!
Ganondorf: Another change in puberty.
Link: He took surgery to make himself more 'feminine' as you may say..
Navi: Ganondorf? Why?
Ganondorf: Link, even when I was a human male, I always thought Link was cute and handsome.
Navi: I can't believe what I'm hearing! Dear lord of Hell, help me out!
Link: Ew! I am not gonna date you, not even for one million dollars!
Navi: Not even sixteen cents.
Ganondorf: Then I must kill you. Any man that refuses to date me must be sentenced to death.
Link: And who the hell said that?
Ganondorf: Me, of course. And from now on, my name isn't Ganondorf.
Navi: It's Ganondork?
Ganondorf: No, it's GanonSally! Mu ha ha!
Link: GanonSally? Now that is the gayest name I have ever-
Ganondorf: Die, you must die! (Hangs Link by the neck)
Link: Ack! (Gags)
Navi: No..
Zelda then comes running in with a dagger.
Zelda: Unhand my boyfriend, Ms. Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: I am not Ganondorf's mother, and certainly not his sister. I am the real Ganondorf, now GanonSally.
Zelda: No! Ganondorf! You got plastic surgery to make yourself girlish?
Ganondorf: Yes, dear Zelda. Sorry kids if I've screwed the game up, but I love my figure now.
Zelda: Wicked! Let's go to my house and paint one another's toenails!
Ganondorf: Indeed. I hope I can meet cute boys there.
Zelda: Hey, have you ever tried thongs?
Ganondorf: Thongs! I hate them. They are like atomic wedgies!
They both walk away, giggling. Then Link unstraps himself from the rope.
Link: Zelda blacked out on me.
Navi: This is impossible. Ganondorf? He's now GanonSally, a he-she wannabe, and now he's interested in his worst hobby - painting toenails.
Link: This is insane. That is the weirdest conversation heard in all of this game.
Then Malon barged in the door.
Link: Have I ever told you that you look hot seven years older?
Malon: Yes. I am going to replace Zelda, now. For she has gone to bond with GanonSally, her new friend.
Link: Cool! Oh, did you answer my letter?
Malon: Letter? Did I? Hell no.
Link: It had a sex wish on it, dammit.
Malon: Link, there is serious problems with Hyrule.
Link: Tell me about it.
Malon: We must save Hyrule!
Link: Save Hyrule!
Save Hyrule, Save Hyrule, Save Hyrule!
Link: After a quick show of PB and J Otter and a quick whiff of cheerleading.
A/N: I am sorry if you thought it was mentally gay or it sucked. But I am always into crude humor. Please review with positive ones. Please no flames. More chapters to come. This is not the only never-before-seen conversation. Now that Malon is taking other what will happen? Remember to review! And I will not continue with more conversations if I don't get enough happy reviews and enough reviews telling me to continue. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I no way own Zelda, Link, Malon, Ganondorf, Navi, and other Zelda characters. Maybe I own GanonSally.