Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: I've never been to a yoga class so everything about yoga in this story comes from the video Yoga for beginners and my imagination, so it's not all that complex and all of it may not be true.
The Zone
We had been sitting in Ranger's black bronco for at least two hours. I had already finished my tasty cakes, dr pepper, and all my other hidden snacks. I was getting antsy. Ranger of course hadn't said a word the whole two hours, which was just annoying. He was staring blankly at the house we were doing surveillance on. He hadn't moved or even blinked for the time I was staring at him, and not the house which was pretty much the point of going with him. I wasn't even sure he was breathing. Ranger was in his zone. I, Stephanie Plum, am zone less. Times like these one could really come in handy. I wondered, briefly, if eBay has any available, before deciding Ranger wouldn't shop on eBay. This is one of the millions of times I wondered how Ranger simple drifted into his zone. My mouth must have a mind of its own because in the next heartbeat I was interrupting Ranger's intense concentration.
"Ranger?" No answer. That wasn't a big surprise since half the time Ranger decides to ignore me; probably he was thinking I would ask a stupid question.
"Ranger?" Stupid zone.
"Ranger!" Oops. I might have yelled that one.
"Babe." Ah ha. He answered.
"Where do you get your zone?"
And of course he didn't answer. This was getting really old, really fast.
"Raaanger." I said in my best whiny voice. Hopefully I would annoy him enough to tell me and not ship me off to a third world country.
"Have you ever done yoga?" Ranger said briefly tearing his glance away from the house to look at me. What kind of question is that?
"Huh?" I'm surprised I got that much out.
"That's how I get my zone, as you call it."
"You do yoga?" I asked in utter disbelief. I'm not sure if my shock was from picturing Ranger do yoga, or the fact that he actually told me something somewhat personal.
"Yes." Ranger said obviously trying stopping the conversation from going further. He probably thought I was going to make fun of him or something. However I lost my fear of Ranger a long time ago and no longer listen when he discreetly tells me to shut up.
"How on earth does that help with your zone?" I mean really, all yoga is, is a bunch of strange stretches put together while people mumble ummm. Now that I think of it, it would be hilarious to watch Ranger do yoga.
I heard a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sigh before Ranger gave in and answered my question.
"Yoga is one of the best ways to cultivate a connection between your mind and body. When I make that connection I'm in my "zone".
"That's why you do yoga? So you can have a zone." I honestly didn't expect him to say anymore, so I was surprised when he actually answered me. I think this is going in the record books for the longest two sided conversation between Ranger and I.
"Yoga is a great way to exercise. It builds strength, increases flexibility, and calms your mind. If you had the ability to be quiet for longer than five minutes I would suggest you try it." He shot a smile in my general direction, and I felt myself melt, before realizing there was an insult hidden behind his gorgeous smile.
"Hey! I can be quiet."
"Babe." So now we're back to one word answers. After five minutes of sitting in complete silence, tying to prove to him I could be quiet, I started to fidget. The second the clock showed that I had been quiet for six whole minutes I started on him again. Hey, it was longer than five minutes.
"Do you go to a yoga class?" I was getting curious about this yoga business. I vaguely remember Val saying something about taking a yoga class to lose baby weight; then again I tend to block people out when they start talking about babies and what not.
"No." People can be so annoying.
"How do you do your yoga then?" I was going to get him to answer me even if it killed me. Then again I don't really want to die. However, I'm pretty sure Ranger wouldn't let me die so I was in the clear to pester him some more.
"I've been to a few classes to learn the basics, Tank's sister is a yoga teacher and she taught me a few things, so I know enough to do yoga without an instructor."
This time it was my turn to be silent, which rarely happens. Ranger was probably enjoying the peace and quiet before I started my next round of questioning. Yoga
sounded kind of fun, except for the whole quiet thing, but I could keep my mouth shut for an hour or so if yoga was really fun and entertaining. I do it for more than eight hours every night. I suddenly wondered if Ranger would teach me some yoga, or take me to a class. It seemed really out of character for him but maybe if I asked nicely he would, if not I could drag Mary Lou to a yoga class.
"Ranger?" My voice was a bit shaky and I knew Ranger would be able to tell I was nervous about something, he is batman after all.
"Yes, babe."
"Never mind." I said quickly. There was no way I was asking Ranger to do yoga with me. Simply telling me he does yoga was pushing it. He would never do it with me. I glanced quickly at him to see if he noticed. Of course he did. Ranger was staring intensely at me, waiting for me to break and tell him what I wanted. Well it wasn't going to happen. I, Stephanie Plum, can keep a secret.
"Tell me."
With those to simple words I was spilling my guts to Ranger. Damn that man.
"Ugh, um, well I was just wondering if umm you would maybe, I mean if you're not too busy… maybe you could teach me yoga or take me to a class or something?" Oh wow that was the hardest thing I've ever had to ask.
"Babe," He paused. Oh gosh. He doesn't want to take me, it's going to be awkward between us forever now just because of one stupid question. "You know I'm all in favor for anything that will get you to exercise."
"And that means?" So I was getting impatient with him, who wouldn't be?
"I recommend taking a class first, so you can get a feel for what the atmosphere and environment should be like."
"Where should I take the class?" Even I can tell when someone is dropping a hint they don't want to do something.
"I'll take you to the best yoga studio in Trenton." Gasp. Ranger was going to take me to a yoga class?!
"You're taking me to a yoga class?" I knew he could hear the disbelief in my voice.
"You wanted me to." I did. That didn't mean I thought he would agree with my request.
"When are we going?" I was practically bouncing up and down. Who thought doing yoga would make me so excited?
"Tomorrow." Well that was real informative batman.
"What do I wear?"
"Comfortable clothes."
"Ranger! I need more information than that."
"Wear the black yoga pants you wore to the office to piss Morelli off." Of course the second he finish his sentence the classic wolf grin appeared.
The mere thought of Morelli pissed me off beyond repair. I wasn't even affected by the grin. Well maybe a little, but not as much as usual.
"What happened, babe?" Ranger asked. He must have seen something on my face or put his EPS powers to work. I sighed.
"I walked in on him and Terry Gilman. And they weren't going over a case."
"I'm sorry." Wow batman apologizing, for something that wasn't even his fault. This was definitely a night of first.
"I'm not." And I truly wasn't.
"Explain."
Another sigh. I didn't want to explain, but of course I did. I can't say no to Ranger.
"All we did was fight. It was way past time to end it, but neither of us had the guts to do it. Our relationship was an unhealthy pattern or behavior."
When I glanced back at Ranger he was grinning, and if it wasn't my over active imagination my mom always complained about, he… looked happy.
I saw headlights flashed behind us and I was suddenly worried. Had the skip we were looking for found us?
"Just our relief babe." With that Ranger started the bronco and drove away.
When we pulled into my apartment parking lot, I wasn't surprised when Ranger was matching my movements and getting out of the bronco. As we entered the building Ranger went directly to the stairs, and I went directly to the elevator.
"Babe. Stairs." Someone was being demanding.
"Ranger. Elevator." I could do that too. Ha.
Apparently Ranger didn't take orders as well as he gave them because he stalked to me and threw me over his shoulder, then preceded to walk up the stairs to my apartment. I wasn't going to point out that I still wasn't getting the benefits of walking up the stairs, at least not when I had a perfect view of his ass. I was, to say the least, disappointed when he set me down but got over it and unlocked my door. Ranger moved to check every corner of every room and I flopped on the couch to wait for him.
"All clear."
"Thanks. What time are you coming to pick me up tomorrow?"
"Three. Eat about two hours before." More needed information.
He walked silently across the floor until he was standing in front of me, and hauled me to my feet. He pressed his lips to mine. It was a gentle kiss for all of two seconds before his tongue found his way into my mouth. As soon as that happened I lost all coherent thought so I'm not sure how long it lasted but I know as soon as it stopped I instantly missed the contact and was plastered to the front of Ranger, my hands clasped onto his tight black shirt. I reluctantly removed my hands and smoothed his now wrinkled shirt. He took my hands brought them to his lips and kissed each one. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.
"I'll see you tomorrow babe."
The next time I turned around Ranger was gone. What the hell was that about?
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The next day at promptly three, I heard my locks tumble. Ranger… I hope. The first thing I noticed was what he was wearing. He was like sex on a stick. He had on black basketball shorts, most likely with spandex under them so he wouldn't flash any yoga-ers, not that the women would mind, and a black tight wife beater. As soon as the initial shock of seeing a very sexy Ranger I jumped up from my seat and immediately began pulling him back to the door, which was not an easy task. He wouldn't budge. I tried to pull and push but he still wouldn't move.
"Raanger." I seem to be whining a lot lately. I mentally added to my list of things to work on. The list only seemed to get longer and longer. Occasionally it shortened up, but that was probably because I forgot something.
"What's the rush?" Ranger said with his eyebrow raised.
"I don't want to be late." I'm pretty sure yoga people frown upon that. Then again what do I know about yoga? Nothing more than Ranger told me.
"The class doesn't start until four." So we had exactly fifty three minutes to get there. Where ever there was. Why was I even worrying? Ranger's never late to anything.
"Let's go!"
"Babe." He hooked his arm around my neck and walked into the hall way. Just when the debate between stairs or elevator starting in my mind, Ranger kissed me, I was surprised I remembered my own name much less my fight for elevators everywhere. So we made our way down the flight of stairs and to Rangers Porsche.
As soon as Ranger made sure I was tucked safely in the passenger seat and jogged around the car to his side I asked, "How long is the drive?"
"Thirty minutes."
"Who's the instructor?" I asked, silently hoping it was Tank's sister.
"Tank's sister, Kenya."
Then Ranger slipped into his zone and the only thing I could think of was soon I'll have a one just like it. My mind wondered for the next thirty minutes. After what seemed like hours we pulled up to a studio. It had a huge sign that said Kenya's Yoga Studio in bright purple and had a picture of a blacked out woman in a pose that I would never be able to do. I must have been staring at the sign longer than I realized because the next thing I knew Ranger was opening the door and yanking me out.
"Come on babe. We don't want to be late." That sped me up.
I was surprised when he went to the back of the Porsche and popped open the trunk. He pulled out two rolled up mats and handed me one. What the…?
"Yoga mats." Stupid ESP.
"Babe." Ugh.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the studio. It was decorated in earth, and calming tones. Ranger, still holding my hand, walked up to the front desk and stated his name. The receptionist or whatever she was was dressed in what looked like expensive clothing and jewelry and was very beautiful. Apparently she hadn't realized Ranger was holding MY hand because she was looking at him like he was lunch. After a few more minutes of staring she pointed us in the correct direction and Ranger was back to dragging me, down a narrow hallway into a large room. There were no windows or mirrors just wall painted a soothing tan. There were several plants in the corners, and a lot of people, suddenly I wasn't so sure about my yoga idea.
"Uh, Ranger?" I asked uncertainly. I was afraid everyone in the class would know exactly what to do and I would be lost, like always.
"It's a beginner's class. No one knows what they're doing."
"Except you."
No answer.
Ranger lead me to the back of the room where he could see everything and spread his mat out, I copied his movements he was the expert after all. We both sat on our mats and waited for Kenya to appear. I was about to turn to Ranger and ask him where the heck our instructor was when the door opened and a tiny petite women stepped in. She was about 5'2, and looked like she weighed nothing. Her skin was dark caramel and flawless. She was the complete opposite of Tank. Ranger tapped me on the shoulder and I suddenly realized Kenya was talking.
"..And now we will begin." Huh. I guess I missed the introduction. I wonder if I was important. "We'll start in the classic meditative pose. Follow me. The most important thing in yoga is your breathing. Always concentrate on your breath filling your lungs and opening your chest, when you exhale focus on your body relaxing. Please remember that we need a quiet peaceful environment to fulfill tranquility. Keep all questions and comments to yourself until the end of class, and then feel free to ask me. I will give you a brief and quiet description of each move before I start it, if at any time you don't know what I'm doing follow the best you can." I guess she felt the need to remind everyone of the rules.
Kenya sat on her mat at the front of the class and crossed her legs, Indian style. She placed her hands on her legs, her palms facing up.
"This is our beginning pose. Place your hands palms up for openness or palms down if you feel like you need grounding. Breathe deeply." She spoke so quietly I had to strain to hear her. Her voice was very soothing; I could see why she became a yoga instructor.
I, of course placed my hands facing down, I needed the grounding. I quickly glanced at Ranger and saw he had his palms up. Good, he needed some openness. I almost laughed at that thought, but quickly stopped myself; we were supposed to be quiet. After about ten minutes of sitting there just breathing, I was about to fall asleep, thankfully we moved on to the next move.
"The next moves are called the dog and cat. Arch your back for dog, and relax for cat." She was freakishly quiet again.
Kenya started putting the moves together. I guess it was suppose to stretch your back or something. It just looked like she was humping air to me. Hmm. With that thought I immediately turned to ranger. He of course looked sexy, like I was expecting any different. I look the moment to really look at Ranger, something I haven't done in a long time. He looked completely relaxed, just like everyone else in the room except me; the few lines that usually graced his face disappeared. He looked young.
"Now we do sun salutations." I almost didn't hear her that time.
Everyone stood up, but me. I was lost in Ranger's hotness. I scrambled to catch up, but was already a few motions behind. Oh gosh. Now I was confused. What was I suppose to do if I was completely lost? I did what I usually do.
"Ranger." I whispered as quietly as I could.
A few people close to us sent me dirty looks. This is yoga! I thought they were supposed to be all happy and relaxed. The good news was Kenya didn't look back to see who disturbed her class and Ranger opened his eyes to stared at me. I silently tried to communicate that I was confused and he should show me what to do. Luckily he didn't turn off his ESP for yoga class. He expelled a breath of air, glanced at Kenya and slowly repeated the movements. As soon as I was caught up his eyes drifted close, and I knew he was in his zone.
I was up to speed for all of two minutes when I was left behind again. I finally decided to pretend to know what I was doing and admire Ranger. He made the movements look so smooth and graceful.
The next half of the class went pretty smooth with Kenya only shooting me a warning look once when I asked Ranger for help a little too loudly.
"Our last move is the corpse. Relax and breathe deeply." Finally the class was almost finished. I didn't know how much longer I could be in this room without screaming.
I watched as Kenya dropped to the floor and laid silently on her back. I could do this one, was the last thing I remembered thinking before blinking my eyes and seeing Ranger's face above mine.
"Babe." The sides of Ranger's mouth were tipping up into his famous almost smile. I was being amusing.
I glanced around and realized we were still in the yoga room, alone except for Kenya and one of the yoga-ers who were talking quietly in a corner. I can't believe I fell asleep during yoga class. Then again I slept through most of high school so it wasn't that big of surprise. Old habits die hard.
Ranger held his hands out, which I quickly grabbed, and hauled me to my feet.
We quickly made our way out of Kenya's Yoga Studio and into Rangers Porsche.
"Well that was fun." Well it wasn't that fun. I knew I was never going to a yoga class again.
"Babe, you're lucky we didn't get kicked out."
"What? Why?" What did we even do?
"You talked through half of the class. You're not exactly quiet."
"Well why didn't we?"
"Babe." He wasn't telling me something.
"Tell me."
"No."
"Why?"
Silence. Not that I expected anything different. When we were a few blocks from my apartment Ranger shocked me by breaking the silence.
"Kenya has had a crush on me since we were kids."
"Huh?"
"That's why we didn't get kicked out today."
"Oh." I was jealous. There's no point in denying it. I knew it, he knew, and now everyone else knows it.
"Jealous babe?" He knew I was.
"No." Even if I wasn't going to admit it to him.
As we rounded the last corner and my apartment came into view I realized that I've never been this happy to see it. At this point I would even be happy to see my crappy bathroom. The car was filled with a mixture of sexual tension which wasn't unusual unless it was mixed with awkwardness, like it was now, at least for me.
As soon as the shiny black car rolled to a stop I jumped out, and proceeded to speed walk the lobby. Much to my dismay Ranger was close behind me. He even took the elevator, which was exactly what I needed, to be in another small space with him. After
what seemed like an eternity the elevator stopped of the second floor and Ranger went into body guard mode. He held out his hand for a key, which I willingly gave him since I was use to this by now, opened the door and quickly yet efficiently checked every square inch of my apartment for bad guys. Of course when he came out from checking my bedroom I wasn't outside waiting like he told me to do. I was plopped down on the couch. Yoga makes me tired.
"Babe."
"Hmm." I was to exhausted for words.
After the silence stretched on for a few long minutes I looked up and didn't see anyone. I might as well sleep in my bed. Even if it wasn't as comfortable as Ranger's it was a lot better than this couch. As I was walking to my bedroom I crashed straight into a wall. When did that wall get here? I didn't have any black walls in my apartment. I peered up and was confronted with Rangers amused face.
"I know, I know I need to be more aware of my surroundings." In my defense Ranger just checked my apartment for scary people, so I didn't need to be aware.
"Babe." After uttering the one word that always managed to make my heart flutter he pressed his lips to mine and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of me. Not that anyone was complaining. When Ranger finally pulled away I was breathing heavily and was pleased to say his breathing wasn't all that normal either.
With the final words, "I like you way more than Kenya." Batman disappeared to save the world.
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