Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
By Kay
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. ::sighs:: Unfortunatly. But.. one day.. I will! Ya know why?
Daisuke: Please, don't say it...
Kay: Cause I'm ONLY the GREATEST SCIENTIFIC MIND IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!
Daisuke: WILL YOU STOP QUOTING WASHU?!
Kay: ^_^
Author's Notes: A sequel to "One Last Time". Contains Takeshiro! WHOO-HOO! Usually I wouldn't see this couple, but I felt compelled to write it... enjoy! TK's POV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watched him with a heavy heart, but a soft smile, as he shivered in the cold winter air, his breath coming out in small clouds of misty fog in the night. The world was covered in a thick layer of white, the aftereffects of last night's brilliant snowfall, just in time for Christmas. The air was chilly, to chilly really for us to be out here so late, standing silently in front of a frosted tombstone.
Why did we always end up in a cemetary?
He shivered again-- no surprise really when you think about how cold it was outside right now. I note when he rubs his arms through his coat. Maybe I should get him a good one for Christmas. I told him he needed a better one, not the flimsy green excuse he had for one at the moment. Then again, Izzy was always stubborn.
Still... what if he got sick?
"Thanks for coming with me, TK," he murmered, his infinitely dark eyes looking up from the inscription on the stone to meet mine. "It means a considerably great deal to me."
I shrug lightly, blushing a little at the obvious gratitude he was showing me. It was weird to have Izzy, the computer genius who was always so intelligent, be glad he could rely on someone else for a change. Then again, he's gone through so much these past years, I'm not really surprised at all. "It's okay..."
Izzy sighs under his breath and runs a finger along the snowy tombstone's top. I'd seen him do it more than once, as if he could get closer to our dead friends that way. I got the feeling he had no idea he was doing it, of course. He always has this far away look whenever he comes here, as if he's remembering something bittersweet from a long time ago. I have a funny feeling I knew what it was.
It'd been only three weeks since I'd found Izzy in this exact same place, seeing him for the first time in years. Three months and three weeks since Taichi Kamiya, my brother's best friend and the boy Izzy loved, died of grave illness. Even longer than that, years longer, since my brother Matt was killed in a car accident that changed my life forever.
The night the police came to our door, the red and blue siren lights sweeping across my face as I stood behind Mom, I had no idea about what had happened. I only caught bits of the conversation, the policemen's grave tones and Mom's hysterically questions. Then, when she began to cry, I knew something was terribly wrong.
God, I wish that night had never happened. Things would be different. Other kids grew up without big brothers, too, but growing up without Matt was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. So far, I have yet to face something tougher. You don't get by easy when things like that happen-- the world seems to fade and you feel like it's all a dream. You hate things for being there when he, only he, isn't. But there's nothing you can do about it. I had grown up in the Digital World, told him I didn't need him so much anymore, but it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that was a lie.
I still needed him to watch me grow. To cheer me on from the sidelines. To keep me going through the scary parts.
The strange thing-- it was here where I bonded with Izzy, connected onto a chain of grief similar to his. Tai had been his best friend, his anchor. And, although he never spoke to me about it, he loved him too. You could tell by the way he looked at him, the way he was so eager to impress and please.
He had loved him. And Tai had loved my brother.
It was like some web, all of us connecting, small parts breaking off until finally there was just me and Izzy. Alone, together, with our grief and our acceptance. It had taken me a long time to accept that life was going on. I think Izzy's still learning that lesson.
My heart aches. I wish he learned it a different way.
Izzy glances at me, and makes a surprised face. "TK, are you all right? You're crying..."
I blink, and raise my hand to my cheek, feeling the wetness there. "What?"
Izzy hesitates, and lays a warm hand on my arm, making me catch my breath. He's so cold. He shouldn't be out here so late at this temperature.
As if reading my thoughts, only to me, "Perhaps we should leave."
I shake my head, blinking back tears. "Yeah, I guess. It's just... I can't help remembering..."
"Matt," he finishes for me simply, pain in his voice. He gives me a sad, ironic look and smiles slightly. "I know."
I nod, swallowing the fierce lump in my throat that burned on it's way down. "Yeah." Glancing at him, I notice with embarrassment he's studying me slowly.
After a second, hesitantly, he removes his arm and turns away to look at the grave. "You... you look like him, you know." He shoves his hands deep inside his pockets and swallows. "Extraordinarily like him, in fact."
My throat constricts again at the thought. I knew I looked like my brother, I'd known if for a long time. And although it made me feel as if in some way I was living up to him, keeping a piece of him with me in myself, it also made me wince every time I looked in the mirror. It was a blessing and a curse. I remembered... "You thought I was Matt that night," I say, taking a deep breath. "I remember, I was so surprised... I didn't expect it..."
Izzy blushes furiously and gives a sheepish smile. "I-I was not exactly myself at the moment. I was preoccupied, and was not fully aware of what was transpiring around me."
"Yeah, well, pain does that to people."
"Yes, it does, Takeru," he whispered.
I've never heard him say my name before.
The sound of it was just as good as the music from Matt's harmonica.
Together, we stood, woven together by the threads of destiny, tangled in our pain, and somehow finding our way out. I knew I was almost out of it, moving on with my life. But Izzy's healing was just beginning.
Sometimes it takes a little push, that's all.
That or ordering him to go home with you from the cemetary after threatening to sick the so-called "Marshmellow Virus" on him.
I smiled. It was one of the best choices I've ever made. Pretty neat coincidence.
Izzy has no idea of what his friendship means to me.
No idea of what...
Of what...
What it means to me to see him smile at me in the morning when he comes over.
What it is like to have him tell me what a great basketball game it was, how good that one stupid rebound shot was.
To be able to share secret pain, and laughter with another person for the first time in a long time. It's a freeing discovery. A heart racing realization. I can still live. I can still hope for better stuff, cause it's okay.
I can still love.
Yep, that's right. I think I'm... no. I know I am, without a doubt, falling in love with Koushiro Izumi. I don't know how it happened, or why, but it's definatly happening. I don't know how well he'd take it- he still loves Tai deep down inside, but I'm starting to think that maybe he's thinking the same things I am.
God, I hope so. I don't want to be alone on this. Not when I've found something to love again.
I heard this song once- "All I Want For Christmas Is You". I don't recall the exact words, but I sure know the title fits. If there's one thing I want this Christmas, it's that I get this one wish.
The night sky is getting darker, the wind colder and cripser against our faces. We both shiver, and look at each other, silently agreeing to leave.
Far down the deserted street, most likely from some Christmas carolers, a soft, gentle song floats through into the cemetary on the wind. Izzy hears it, I can tell from the way he closes his eyes and listens carefully. I love the way his hair is laden with glistening snow, and his thoughtful face's dark eyebrows cringe together slightly when he closes his eyes.
The words slowly come to us.
i"Have yourself a merry little Christmas;/i
iLet your heart be light."/i
It's almost funny. Matt used to play this on his harmonica every Christmas Eve to get me to sleep, because I was to excited about Santa coming. I haven't listened to it for years. Now, suddenly, it makes me glad I'm hearing it now.
Hey, I may be a kid, but I still know a sign when I see one.
i"From now on, your troubles will be out of sight."/i
"Izzy?"
"Yes, Takeru?" Again, my name. I shiver-- and I'm not so sure it's from the cold. The way he says it sounds so... caring. Like he really...
"If you had a wish, just one, what would it be?"
i"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,/i
iMake the Yule-tide gay."/i
I hold my breath, half expecting him to reply that having Tai brought back to life, or getting a new computer would be it.
Izzy doesn't look at me, but looks up at the stars. They seem to be glowing more than usual tonight. The silence between us is tense, but warm and comfortable. Anticipating. Worrying. But so anxious, even more than when I used to race downstairs in the morning for my presents. Matt always beat me. Now I walk down the stairs. Alone.
He looks beautiful in moonlight.
i"From now on, your troubles will be miles away."/i
i"Here we are as in olden days"/i
"What would you wish for, Takeru?" he whispers.
i"Happy golden days of yore."/i
I consider, breathing lightly. "I-I guess. Matt back."
"I mean something that is physically possible."
"I... I..." Could I tell him? Should I?
All I want for Christmas is you.
i"Faithful friends who are dear to us/i
iGather near to us once more."/i
Izzy looks at me finally, his eyes desperate and filled with a longing I can definatly understand. "Takeru, do you think it's possible to have a second chance?"
"Y-yes."
"Tell me what you would wish for? Please?" He grabs my arms, and I can feel him trembling. "It means.... I.... please. Tell me." Whisper in the night only, but I feel like it's louder than a bullhorn up to my ear.
"You really want to know?" I ask, my heart pounding. Did I dare?
He nods, unable to speak, silent.
"I wish..."
i"Through the years we all will be together/i
iIf the fates allow."/i
Suddenly, I know I have to do it. Because I want to be happy. And Izzy makes me happy. He makes me happy every day, every night. He could make me happy for the rest of my life.
"I wish you would kiss me, Izzy."
i"Hang a shining star upon the highest bough..."/i
The stars are shining in the sky.
So are my love's eyes.
Izzy nods, and takes a deep breath, releasing it, and smiles widely for the first time in a long time. "Are you sure?"
"More than anything, Izzy."
i"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."/i
We smile, and slowly, as the song fades away, leaving a wonderful glow of joy in my heart, he takes my face in his hands. Looking deeply into my eyes.
The moment our lips touched, I couldn't even feel the cold. The whole world disappeared, the music faded, and the tombstones disappeared. There was just Izzy, all Izzy, all black eyes and red fiery hair. Warm lips and soft smile. Curious, smart, steady Izzy. Hurt sometimes, helping the other, everything I wanted-- everything I needed.
His arms were cold. He was cold. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, holding him close.
I made a vow right then and there.
"Izzy, you're so cold... I'll always keep you warm."
And that's just what I did. For the rest of our lives. Forever.
And through all those moments when I did, when I kept him warm, kept him safe, when we poured our love through to one another. When I laughed at his habits, and he teased me about my facination with hot chocolate. When he played on that laptop thing of his, and when he always came to my games, and always cheered for me. When we visited the graves, slowly drifting from death's memories, into the sunlight together. Learning to let go. Learning to love. Year upon year, for as long as we lived, through every rough spot and every good moment. Every joy and pain.
When he loved me, and I loved him...
I kept thinking one thing;
So this is what heaven feels like.
i"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."/i
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END: One thing to say.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! ^_^;;; Oh, I just KNOW I'm gonna be flamed for this... first of all- TK and Izzy are only, what, 2 years apart! Sheesh! Gimme a break! They're older now! ;) And.... well... it just seemed right for this fic! I usually dont' write Takeshiro, but I kinda liked this. If you didn't... well... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!
Daisuke: You know, Kari doesn't make so much noise.
Kay: Oh go back to your cage, slave.
Daisuke: Witch!
Kay: EVIL SPAWN OF GREEN JEELLOOOOO!!!
Daisuke: Wanna challange me?!
Kay: You bet I do! Bring it on, Goggle Head!
Daisuke: Better my goggles than TK's GILLIGAN HAT!
Both: ::pause::
Kay: Very true.
Daisuke: Okay... here's the plan. You go for the left, play decoy, and I go for the right, and GRAB THE FREAKIN' HAT.
Kay and Daisuke: ::football style:: BREAK!
Minutes later... somewhere faaaaaar away...
TK: DAISUKE! KAY! GIVE ME BACK MY HAAAAAT!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Kay
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. ::sighs:: Unfortunatly. But.. one day.. I will! Ya know why?
Daisuke: Please, don't say it...
Kay: Cause I'm ONLY the GREATEST SCIENTIFIC MIND IN THE UNIVERSE!!!!
Daisuke: WILL YOU STOP QUOTING WASHU?!
Kay: ^_^
Author's Notes: A sequel to "One Last Time". Contains Takeshiro! WHOO-HOO! Usually I wouldn't see this couple, but I felt compelled to write it... enjoy! TK's POV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I watched him with a heavy heart, but a soft smile, as he shivered in the cold winter air, his breath coming out in small clouds of misty fog in the night. The world was covered in a thick layer of white, the aftereffects of last night's brilliant snowfall, just in time for Christmas. The air was chilly, to chilly really for us to be out here so late, standing silently in front of a frosted tombstone.
Why did we always end up in a cemetary?
He shivered again-- no surprise really when you think about how cold it was outside right now. I note when he rubs his arms through his coat. Maybe I should get him a good one for Christmas. I told him he needed a better one, not the flimsy green excuse he had for one at the moment. Then again, Izzy was always stubborn.
Still... what if he got sick?
"Thanks for coming with me, TK," he murmered, his infinitely dark eyes looking up from the inscription on the stone to meet mine. "It means a considerably great deal to me."
I shrug lightly, blushing a little at the obvious gratitude he was showing me. It was weird to have Izzy, the computer genius who was always so intelligent, be glad he could rely on someone else for a change. Then again, he's gone through so much these past years, I'm not really surprised at all. "It's okay..."
Izzy sighs under his breath and runs a finger along the snowy tombstone's top. I'd seen him do it more than once, as if he could get closer to our dead friends that way. I got the feeling he had no idea he was doing it, of course. He always has this far away look whenever he comes here, as if he's remembering something bittersweet from a long time ago. I have a funny feeling I knew what it was.
It'd been only three weeks since I'd found Izzy in this exact same place, seeing him for the first time in years. Three months and three weeks since Taichi Kamiya, my brother's best friend and the boy Izzy loved, died of grave illness. Even longer than that, years longer, since my brother Matt was killed in a car accident that changed my life forever.
The night the police came to our door, the red and blue siren lights sweeping across my face as I stood behind Mom, I had no idea about what had happened. I only caught bits of the conversation, the policemen's grave tones and Mom's hysterically questions. Then, when she began to cry, I knew something was terribly wrong.
God, I wish that night had never happened. Things would be different. Other kids grew up without big brothers, too, but growing up without Matt was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. So far, I have yet to face something tougher. You don't get by easy when things like that happen-- the world seems to fade and you feel like it's all a dream. You hate things for being there when he, only he, isn't. But there's nothing you can do about it. I had grown up in the Digital World, told him I didn't need him so much anymore, but it wasn't until he was gone that I realized that was a lie.
I still needed him to watch me grow. To cheer me on from the sidelines. To keep me going through the scary parts.
The strange thing-- it was here where I bonded with Izzy, connected onto a chain of grief similar to his. Tai had been his best friend, his anchor. And, although he never spoke to me about it, he loved him too. You could tell by the way he looked at him, the way he was so eager to impress and please.
He had loved him. And Tai had loved my brother.
It was like some web, all of us connecting, small parts breaking off until finally there was just me and Izzy. Alone, together, with our grief and our acceptance. It had taken me a long time to accept that life was going on. I think Izzy's still learning that lesson.
My heart aches. I wish he learned it a different way.
Izzy glances at me, and makes a surprised face. "TK, are you all right? You're crying..."
I blink, and raise my hand to my cheek, feeling the wetness there. "What?"
Izzy hesitates, and lays a warm hand on my arm, making me catch my breath. He's so cold. He shouldn't be out here so late at this temperature.
As if reading my thoughts, only to me, "Perhaps we should leave."
I shake my head, blinking back tears. "Yeah, I guess. It's just... I can't help remembering..."
"Matt," he finishes for me simply, pain in his voice. He gives me a sad, ironic look and smiles slightly. "I know."
I nod, swallowing the fierce lump in my throat that burned on it's way down. "Yeah." Glancing at him, I notice with embarrassment he's studying me slowly.
After a second, hesitantly, he removes his arm and turns away to look at the grave. "You... you look like him, you know." He shoves his hands deep inside his pockets and swallows. "Extraordinarily like him, in fact."
My throat constricts again at the thought. I knew I looked like my brother, I'd known if for a long time. And although it made me feel as if in some way I was living up to him, keeping a piece of him with me in myself, it also made me wince every time I looked in the mirror. It was a blessing and a curse. I remembered... "You thought I was Matt that night," I say, taking a deep breath. "I remember, I was so surprised... I didn't expect it..."
Izzy blushes furiously and gives a sheepish smile. "I-I was not exactly myself at the moment. I was preoccupied, and was not fully aware of what was transpiring around me."
"Yeah, well, pain does that to people."
"Yes, it does, Takeru," he whispered.
I've never heard him say my name before.
The sound of it was just as good as the music from Matt's harmonica.
Together, we stood, woven together by the threads of destiny, tangled in our pain, and somehow finding our way out. I knew I was almost out of it, moving on with my life. But Izzy's healing was just beginning.
Sometimes it takes a little push, that's all.
That or ordering him to go home with you from the cemetary after threatening to sick the so-called "Marshmellow Virus" on him.
I smiled. It was one of the best choices I've ever made. Pretty neat coincidence.
Izzy has no idea of what his friendship means to me.
No idea of what...
Of what...
What it means to me to see him smile at me in the morning when he comes over.
What it is like to have him tell me what a great basketball game it was, how good that one stupid rebound shot was.
To be able to share secret pain, and laughter with another person for the first time in a long time. It's a freeing discovery. A heart racing realization. I can still live. I can still hope for better stuff, cause it's okay.
I can still love.
Yep, that's right. I think I'm... no. I know I am, without a doubt, falling in love with Koushiro Izumi. I don't know how it happened, or why, but it's definatly happening. I don't know how well he'd take it- he still loves Tai deep down inside, but I'm starting to think that maybe he's thinking the same things I am.
God, I hope so. I don't want to be alone on this. Not when I've found something to love again.
I heard this song once- "All I Want For Christmas Is You". I don't recall the exact words, but I sure know the title fits. If there's one thing I want this Christmas, it's that I get this one wish.
The night sky is getting darker, the wind colder and cripser against our faces. We both shiver, and look at each other, silently agreeing to leave.
Far down the deserted street, most likely from some Christmas carolers, a soft, gentle song floats through into the cemetary on the wind. Izzy hears it, I can tell from the way he closes his eyes and listens carefully. I love the way his hair is laden with glistening snow, and his thoughtful face's dark eyebrows cringe together slightly when he closes his eyes.
The words slowly come to us.
i"Have yourself a merry little Christmas;/i
iLet your heart be light."/i
It's almost funny. Matt used to play this on his harmonica every Christmas Eve to get me to sleep, because I was to excited about Santa coming. I haven't listened to it for years. Now, suddenly, it makes me glad I'm hearing it now.
Hey, I may be a kid, but I still know a sign when I see one.
i"From now on, your troubles will be out of sight."/i
"Izzy?"
"Yes, Takeru?" Again, my name. I shiver-- and I'm not so sure it's from the cold. The way he says it sounds so... caring. Like he really...
"If you had a wish, just one, what would it be?"
i"Have yourself a merry little Christmas,/i
iMake the Yule-tide gay."/i
I hold my breath, half expecting him to reply that having Tai brought back to life, or getting a new computer would be it.
Izzy doesn't look at me, but looks up at the stars. They seem to be glowing more than usual tonight. The silence between us is tense, but warm and comfortable. Anticipating. Worrying. But so anxious, even more than when I used to race downstairs in the morning for my presents. Matt always beat me. Now I walk down the stairs. Alone.
He looks beautiful in moonlight.
i"From now on, your troubles will be miles away."/i
i"Here we are as in olden days"/i
"What would you wish for, Takeru?" he whispers.
i"Happy golden days of yore."/i
I consider, breathing lightly. "I-I guess. Matt back."
"I mean something that is physically possible."
"I... I..." Could I tell him? Should I?
All I want for Christmas is you.
i"Faithful friends who are dear to us/i
iGather near to us once more."/i
Izzy looks at me finally, his eyes desperate and filled with a longing I can definatly understand. "Takeru, do you think it's possible to have a second chance?"
"Y-yes."
"Tell me what you would wish for? Please?" He grabs my arms, and I can feel him trembling. "It means.... I.... please. Tell me." Whisper in the night only, but I feel like it's louder than a bullhorn up to my ear.
"You really want to know?" I ask, my heart pounding. Did I dare?
He nods, unable to speak, silent.
"I wish..."
i"Through the years we all will be together/i
iIf the fates allow."/i
Suddenly, I know I have to do it. Because I want to be happy. And Izzy makes me happy. He makes me happy every day, every night. He could make me happy for the rest of my life.
"I wish you would kiss me, Izzy."
i"Hang a shining star upon the highest bough..."/i
The stars are shining in the sky.
So are my love's eyes.
Izzy nods, and takes a deep breath, releasing it, and smiles widely for the first time in a long time. "Are you sure?"
"More than anything, Izzy."
i"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."/i
We smile, and slowly, as the song fades away, leaving a wonderful glow of joy in my heart, he takes my face in his hands. Looking deeply into my eyes.
The moment our lips touched, I couldn't even feel the cold. The whole world disappeared, the music faded, and the tombstones disappeared. There was just Izzy, all Izzy, all black eyes and red fiery hair. Warm lips and soft smile. Curious, smart, steady Izzy. Hurt sometimes, helping the other, everything I wanted-- everything I needed.
His arms were cold. He was cold. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, holding him close.
I made a vow right then and there.
"Izzy, you're so cold... I'll always keep you warm."
And that's just what I did. For the rest of our lives. Forever.
And through all those moments when I did, when I kept him warm, kept him safe, when we poured our love through to one another. When I laughed at his habits, and he teased me about my facination with hot chocolate. When he played on that laptop thing of his, and when he always came to my games, and always cheered for me. When we visited the graves, slowly drifting from death's memories, into the sunlight together. Learning to let go. Learning to love. Year upon year, for as long as we lived, through every rough spot and every good moment. Every joy and pain.
When he loved me, and I loved him...
I kept thinking one thing;
So this is what heaven feels like.
i"And have yourself a merry little Christmas now."/i
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE END: One thing to say.... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! ^_^;;; Oh, I just KNOW I'm gonna be flamed for this... first of all- TK and Izzy are only, what, 2 years apart! Sheesh! Gimme a break! They're older now! ;) And.... well... it just seemed right for this fic! I usually dont' write Takeshiro, but I kinda liked this. If you didn't... well... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!
Daisuke: You know, Kari doesn't make so much noise.
Kay: Oh go back to your cage, slave.
Daisuke: Witch!
Kay: EVIL SPAWN OF GREEN JEELLOOOOO!!!
Daisuke: Wanna challange me?!
Kay: You bet I do! Bring it on, Goggle Head!
Daisuke: Better my goggles than TK's GILLIGAN HAT!
Both: ::pause::
Kay: Very true.
Daisuke: Okay... here's the plan. You go for the left, play decoy, and I go for the right, and GRAB THE FREAKIN' HAT.
Kay and Daisuke: ::football style:: BREAK!
Minutes later... somewhere faaaaaar away...
TK: DAISUKE! KAY! GIVE ME BACK MY HAAAAAT!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~