Here Be Acolytes
Fenton T. Edelman found himself stumped. Not that being stumped was something he was unfamiliar with. As one of Bayville's building inspectors he was often puzzled by the strange and often bizarre way homes and other structures appeared after they had been constructed. Mostly due to the final product turning out vastly different than what had been laid out in the original blueprints or the effects of years of wear and tear. But his latest assignment had him stumped on a far more basic level.
"Where the heck is the door? There must be a door leading into this place," Fenton muttered as he walked around the large warehouse complex. He was supposed to conduct a surprise inspection of the place since there had not been any records of an inspection ever having been done on it. There were also no records about how or when the place had been built, but this had been attributed to bureaucratic oversight. Still, Fenton had circled nearly the entire exterior and still had not found any way to get in.
"This is getting ridiculous. There has to be a door or window somewhere...hey," Fenton noticed a strange outline hidden within the shadow of an enormous steel dumpster. Further inspection found the outline to be a large hole. A hole that looked remarkably like the silhouette made after someone had being thrown through a wall. "Well, a way in is a way in," Fenton shrugged as he carefully made his way through the hole.
Fenton found himself in the middle of a long metal hallway. "At least this place has electricity." He glanced at the lights and started down the hallway. "Though something weird must have happened here recently. Lots of wrecked panels and scorched surfaces. And are those claw marks?"
CRASH!
"What was that?" Fenton paused as he heard what sounded like shouting in the distance. He tried following the sound, but stumbled upon several more series of hallways and quickly became lost. "Great. First I couldn't get into this place. Now I'm worried about finding my way out."
SMASH!
"At least I'm closer to whatever is making that noise," Fenton neared what appeared to be a large open doorway. "Hello? Is anyone there? I'm here to inspect the building."
"AAARRRGGGHHH!" A very irate scream echoed off the walls. "I don't believe this! Those stupid, long nosed menaces managed to completely disable the base's security system! Not to mention breaking into some of the water pipes and flooding my entire bedroom! If I ever see another one of those meddlesome monstrosities around here again it will end up as shish kabob!"
"Hello?" Fenton was about to enter the room right before a dozen very large and very sharp metal spears shot from it and impaled themselves into the wall. "AAAHHHHHH!"
"Who is that?" The voice sounded very dangerous. "Is that you Colossus? If you're still keeping that stinking Snuzzles around here, you're dead! DEAD YOU HEAR ME?!"
"AAAHHHHHH!" Fenton yelled and scrambled down the hallway, desperately trying to get away. "Oh gosh, what the heck was that?"
"Don't you dare try to hide from me!" The voice roared as the metal walls began to shake. "I'm not finished with you yet!"
"Eeep!" Fenton quickly dove into a dark side room and huddled against a wall. He clapped his eyes shut and sensed something whoosh by and fly down the hallway. "Please don't kill me...please don't kill me...please don't kill me..."
"Polo!"
"Huh?" Fenton opened his eyes and saw a shadow swiftly dart past the doorway followed by a round of laughter. "Hey, is someone out there? I need help!"
"Polo!" More laughter echoed before fading away.
Fenton cautiously stepped back into the hallway, but could not see anyone. "Can somebody help me? Hello?" Fenton then noticed the floor was covered with what looked like glowing playing cards. "What the...?"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Fenton yelped as he was surrounded by explosions. He stumbled and ran down the hallway while frantically trying not to get blown up. "YEEEOOOWWW! OW! OW! OW! HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! AAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!"
"Marco!"
"Gah?" Fenton gasped as he twitched and felt the entire floor began to shake. "Oh gosh, what now?"
"Marco!" A metal giant appeared in the hallway with his arms raised in front of him. He loudly stomped his way down the hallway while seeming to wear some sort of blindfold. "Marco!"
"AAAGGGHHHHHH!" Fenton screamed and quickly fled in terror.
"I heard that!" The giant boomed and began to chase after him. "Your tricks can not distract me now. I have you!"
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Fenton yelled.
"Come back here!" The giant flailed his arms around trying to grab him. "You can not escape!"
"HELP! HEL...AAAUUUGGGHHH!" Fenton tripped and sprawled onto the floor. The giant just missed splatting his head open with his boot and continued running past straight into a wall.
CRASH!
CRUNCH! CRUNCH!
"Hey, where did you go?" The giant was heard calling out in confusion. "Marco! Marco!"
"GAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Fenton scrambled back to his feet and fled the other way, frantically looking for a way out. "I gotta get outta here! Flying spears, explosions, metal robots! WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!"
FWOOOOOOSSSHHHHHH!
"AAAHHHHHHHHH!" Fenton screamed as a huge flaming spider appeared in the hallway
"Hahahahaha!" The sound of maniacal laughing could be he heard all about him.
"AAAGGGHHHHHH! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!" Fenton shrieked as the spider seemed to chase after him. He tried to run, but found numerous smaller flaming spiders crawling all over the hallway. "AAAHHHHHH! HELP! THEY'RE GONNA EAT ME! NOOOOOOOOO!"
"Yeah! Yeah!" The laughter grew more and more insane as the entire hallway was completely engulfed in flames.
"YAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Fenton somehow managed to make his way clear of the blaze. He glanced back and to his horror saw the spiders speedily creeping after him. "AAAUUUGGGHHHHHH!" He screamed and frenetically took off once again.
"Click! Click! Click!" The spiders snapped as their flaming bodies crackled and popped from the heat.
"AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Fenton shrieked in terror. "This can't be happening! It's a nightmare! It's not real!"
WHUMP!
"Ooof!" Fenton gasped as he ran into something large. He felt himself being lifted up and looking at a creature with wild hair, long claws and very, very sharp teeth.
"ROOOAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!"
"Mother..." Fenton whimpered right before he passed out.
"Hmmph, what a wimp," Sabertooth growled and snorted disdainfully. "He's gonna need to change his clothes when he wakes up."
"What is going on here?" Magneto demanded coming up to him.
"We got an intruder," Sabertooth said showing him the limp body. "Non-mutant by the look of him."
"Great," Magneto groaned. "I hate it when the security system is down. Find out how he got into the base and report back."
"Right," Sabertooth growled tossing the body aside. "He passed out right after I spotted him. Not sure how much of the base he's seen."
"Don't worry. He won't tell anyone about us," Magneto promised. "I'll make sure of it."
The next day...
"Hey, we got a new case here," A large orderly said stepping out in front of Bayville's Home for the Bewildered.
"Gah?" Fenton twitched as he lay cuddled up in a ball on the front walk. He was also bound in a metal straightjacket. "Werewolf...fire...explosions...metal robot...fire..."
"Man, what happened to him?" Another orderly asked.
"Don't know. He just appeared. Don't know how he got here," the first orderly explained.
"Giant spider...giant robot..." Fenton mumbled as he was carefully led into the building. "Claws...spears...teeth...big teeth...boom, boom, boom! Spiders...fire spiders..."
"Great, he's gone," the second orderly decided. "Looks like he's gonna be in here for a while. Any idea who he is?"
"Yeah, he has a wallet on him. Only thing in it is an ID," the first orderly checked. "He's some kind of city building inspector."
"Oh man, not another one," the second orderly groaned. "This is the third one this month!"
Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution. Bayville's Home for the Bewildered comes from Red Witch.