A/N: Well hi there! This is my first fanfiction, so expect it to not be great, okay? I just want to clear something up – the title was inspired by a book I saw while browsing the library the other day, Notes From a Liar and Her Dog. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.

This chapter has been edited... if you spy anything wrong, please tell me.

I should have never let them into my house – the sneaky little pests that they are. I should have expected the first thing for them to do was to go through my things and find the object I bought yesterday…

"Hey, Mr. Edgeworth!" the spirit-medium's back said in an overly peppy voice. It amazed me how the younger sister of such a well known defense attorney could be so childish… but I guess it's just youth. Besides, on the inside, she's wiser than you would imagine…

But she's still mostly childish.

I'm sorry; I'm getting a bit off topic. The girl turned from ruffling through my personal belongings to face me, hugging something pink and flowery to her chest. "What's this?" She held it out for the whole room to see – an old password journal. I snapped to my senses and abandoned my conversation with Wright, but I managed to keep my composure with ease.

I took a sip from my tea, my eyes closed as I spoke. "That was here when I bought the house; apparently somebody left it, maybe one of the mover's daughters." Maya tilted her head questioningly to the side, a confused look on her face, Wright mimicking her.

"Why didn't you throw it away then? You're not one to be a packrat, Edgeworth," Wright said, now looking at the journal. "But maybe you have a secret life we know nothing abo—"

I cut him off with my glare, shutting him right up. I put down the teacup gently without removing eye contact. "I never got around to throwing it away. It was someone's old toy; after all, wouldn't that be cruel?"

Maya, meanwhile, was fighting with the lock to get it open. "Well, we could – eeh! – throw it out when we leave," she commented between struggled tugs. "Dang, this thing's tight!"

"No, that's quite alright. I'll do it later." I was now standing up, filing through the bookshelves diligently. They were in alphabetical order, if I do say so myself. I pulled out a slender manila envelope and shoved it to Wright. "There you are. Now if you were to be so kind as to get out of my house." I sneered the last part, glaring at the lawyer venomously.

Maya set the journal down on the red silk couches and bowed to me. "Thank you, Mr. Edgeworth!" she chimed, beaming happily. Wright, however, instantly grabbed her hand and scurried out the door, the poor girl being dragged behind.

I sighed as I picked up the journal, looking at it solemnly. 'What am I going to do with you?'

I sat down, staring at the cover. Pess (the lovable oaf that he is) padded up to me and wagged his fluffy tail, looking at me with those big brown eyes of his. He had been sleeping when the intruders came, apparently. I scratched the yellow fur along the top of his neck as he plopped down on the floor beside me. He sniffed at the journal curiously, but deciding it wasn't very interesting he laid his head down.

I also turned my attention back to the diary. Well… there only seemed to be one logical thing to do at a time like this.

I grabbed a pen, spoke a soft word into the microphone, and began to write as the magenta sides folded back.

Never let Wright into the house without Pess ready to bite him.