This story maybe different from usual, but maybe it's exactly the same. - S

Back At Your Door

Chapter One

The church doors are closed when you finally arrive and it takes you another eight minutes to get a parking space in the crowded parking lot. The second you turn off the little blue Mini Cooper you rented at the airport, you have to force yourself to actually get out. There is no downpour or windy rain like there are in most movies, but it seems like there should be. Taking a deep breath, you walk briskly and your heel gets caught in a crack in the ground. You gasp loudly and immediately spread your arms to steady yourself before straightening yourself out. You try to be more careful as to where you step on the uneven pavement and are grateful when you hit the sidewalk again.

That is until you see the closed church doors again. You will have to walk through them and you know the moment you do that every head will be turned towards you. You could potentially ruin the ceremony - not that it is a happy event anyways. Taking another deep breath, you fix your black dress before brushing your dark hair with your fingers quickly. You feel so nervous, especially when the doors make that awful creaking noise you knew they would as you opened it. Just as you suspected, heads turn to look at you as your heels clack on the floor, echoing throughout the place.

You, however, barely pay attention to the whispering people and the disapproving looks, and rather look straight ahead to the person you interrupted. It's his mother. Her eyes meet yours for the longest second of your life and you can see her heart break and lift at the same time. The second she continues speaking, you bow your head and go to the closest pew, sitting down quickly. You try to ignore everyone as they go back to listening, even though more than one person is trying to casually look back to see if it was really her. You brush your hair behind your ear, your eyes watering as you stare intensely at a bible that has been left on the pew.

After about ten minutes, you dare yourself to look up. You almost break down when you see the coffins and you have to look away. The person besides you gives you a sympathetic look and puts a hand on your knee comfortingly as you shakily breathe in. Barely even feeling her touch, your blurry eyes look around the room and land on the first row. His mother had long ago sat back down and the priest was back to talking, so you find Denise easily. Her head filled with curly hair is sideways, lying on top of her young grandson. From here, you can see they fit the little three-year-old in a snug looking suit with a white pressed shirt and a tiny bow tie. He looks handsome, her blonde hair spiked up with a bit of gel.

"Oh, my God." You let out in a breathy whisper. The hand on your knee pats it again, and you blink and look at it. Bringing your hands back up, you run your hands harshly through your hair before looking back at the boy. His name is James but everyone calls him Jamie. "He's only three years old." You say, another tear going down your face. You know that your face is probably getting streaks of black mascara but you cannot help the downpour. You cannot even think of what you have lost; Jamie has lost so much more.

He lost both his parents.

"He'll be fine." The sweet elderly lady tells you as she puts her arms around you. Leaning into her touch, your eyes glide over to the person on the other side of the little boy. Another shaky breath. Another bout of tears. This is going to be so hard on that family - that precious little family that is so strong and impenetrable.

You finally just cannot stand looking at this sad church and you just close your eyes tightly, putting your hand over your eyes. You try to retreat to another place - a place where your two best friends are still alive and with their little boy and not driving through a thunderstorm. Unfortunately, the mass ends and kills your fantasy pretty quickly. You are forced to open your eyes again and the bright lights blind you for a few seconds as everyone stands and turns to each other. You feel someone give you a hug and you try to force a smile before remembering you are at a funeral mass and you don't need to.

You quickly get out of the pew and stop at the doors to the church. Everyone is filing out, ready to go to the cemetery to bury your two best friends, and you get jerked around slightly as people push past you. Your eyes are on the Grey family again, watching little Jamie look up to his grandmother confused and Denise smile weakly at him. You finally make yourself look at him and you just sigh. His hair is longer and even from here, you can tell he looks defeated.

Someone bumps into you hard and you gasp as your purse gets knocked out of your hands. The person apologizes but doesn't stop to help you. Sighing and looking at your spilled contents, you bend down to retrieve them, your eyes going back to the family instinctively. Your fingers freeze as they reach your tube of lipstick. You can feel tears rush so quickly to your eyes and you start shaking slightly.

You didn't mean to bring attention to yourself. It was never about that - coming here wasn't about that. But kneeling here in a your favorite black dress he bought you last summer on a whim and with black tears rolling down your face, that's all you brought yourself. Denise gives you a tightlipped smile and Jamie looks at you with even more confusion. Besides him is Jason who stares at you for a second before tears come rushing to his eyes too. He knows they were your best friends too. Jason closes his eyes for a couple seconds before looking away.

And Shane…well, Shane just stares at you.

xxx

"That was quite a scene you made at the church today." You look up, blinking as the sun hits your eyes. The plastic chair you are sitting in digs into the dirt as you put more of your weight on it, hoping to just disappear when you see the blonde that is currently towering over you. "But that's Mitchie Torres, isn't it?" she continues, sitting down next to you.

You don't bother looking at her and rather just stare forward. You watch the people as they come towards the seats without really seeing them. "What do you want Tess?" you say after you realize she's still there. Surprisingly, she sighs and leans away from you.

"I don't know." She whispers, her voice breaking for a second. She frowns and looks to the graves waiting to be filled. You turn to her, your eyes lost, sad, and confused. "I mean, I used to like her. She used to be my best friend back before we started hating each other. And Nate - I mean, Shane was always my quote unquote favorite Connect Three member but…that doesn't mean I didn't think Nate was amazing. His curly hair was adorable." She adds with a small smile before falling silent. "Is it true?" she mutters, kicking her heel against the chair in front of her. You turn to her and she swallows. "About why you and Shane broke up four months ago? Are the rumors true?"

Yes, you want to tell her. But you don't. "Tess, this isn't appropriate right now." You snap lightly before crossing your arms across your chest. She nods, her blonde hair flying in front of her face.

"That must have sucked." Her voice almost gets lost in the wind but you hear her. "To be betrayed that badly by -" you cut her off with a strong glare, the memories coming back so quickly to you. Only her response is to raise an eyebrow as you speak.

"Tess Tyler, please shut up and show your respects. Stop trying to get me for gossip." You scold her, your eyes burning with tears. She moves her head, like if you had just slapped her before blinking and looking away. You breathe in and out before bringing your eyes back to the coffins.

"I wasn't trying to get you for gossip. I was worried about you." she says, her voice a little snide. She clicks her tongue before standing up without giving you another glance. "And for the record, Shane already told me that even happened. You just chose to believe her instead of him even though you guys have been together forever…" she says, scoffing a little

"Oh, so now it's my fault? Claire told me what happened, and she was my friend. Why would she lie? And to be betrayed like that by her? That hurt like hell, but to be betrayed by Shane" you trail off, your eyes flashing with pain. "…this isn't the place, Tess." You repeat, your throat closing up.

Tess stays quiet for a while. "You realize that people make mistakes right? They also lie and make rumors. But…you get a second chance. Nate and Caitlyn? They don't. Their story ended rather forcibly." She says, shaking her head. You close your eyes, wanting to clamp your hands over your ears. "But you and Shane? The only difference is that you ended a chapter, but you can keep the story alive." She whispers, crossing her arms sadly over her chest. Shane and you were always seen as the fairy tale.

But not anymore. He fucked it up. He messed everything up.

"Tess, stop." You argue just as Denise and Jamie arrive. They are a little in front of you, and Tess is standing in the way of them for you to make out how Jamie is doing.

"Fine." She says, shaking her head angrily. "Just remember Nate and Caitlyn don't get to be in love anymore. They're dead." You swallow harshly before giving up. You grab your purse violently, standing up and almost kicking over the chair. You do not want to hear about forgiveness and love and death. You don't want to hear any of this. You just want to wake up from this demented dream. You want to go back to the days that Shane would wake you up at five am just to kiss you and drag you to take a shower with him for no reason whatsoever. You want to go back to the days where if you felt sick to your stomach he would go to Rite Aid in seconds to get you candy and soup, along with putting in The Breakfast Club because he knows it's your favorite. You want to go back to before he slept with one of your friends.

Tess watches as you turn around and walk away from the funeral. You just cannot do this anymore. You should have been here; you shouldn't have run away to Texas. If you were here, maybe they would still be alive. Maybe Caitlyn and Nate would be having dinner right now with their small son. Maybe they would still be here.

But they're not. They're dead.

Your best friends. Two people you have loved for so long are just dead. A sob escapes your lips and tears gather in your eyes again. You unconsciously look around for Shane but you do not see him. You watch the ceremony from afar, as if you were never part of that family. Denise is crying. Caitlyn's parents are not even moving. Everything is such a mess. "I'm sorry." You say into the wind, choking slightly on your words. Right before the ceremony finishes, you turn your back on it and start to go to your car.

"Running away again?" you gasp and turn around as you pass a huge tree. Lying at the base of it is your ex-lover. Your eyes widen as you take in his appearance. His suit is wrinkled and his shirt is pulled open, his tie loose around his neck. His eyes are bright red and the smell of liquor is strong. You open your mouth to respond but the words get lost as tears slip down your face. "Yeah, you are, because Mitchie Torres doesn't know what else to do." You gasp as if someone hit you and you almost fall when you take a step back. Turning around, you don't notice Shane's quick standing up and you freeze when his fingers curl around your wrist tightly. "What the fuck are you doing here?" his voice is low and dark as he twirls you around.

Your eyes widen in fear for a second and you immediately look over to the ceremony. When you are sure no one is looking at the two of you, you turn back to the intense boy in front of you. You wince and don't meet his eyes. "They're…were my best friends." You spit out, your throat rough. You have never seen him like this, but then again, he isn't who you thought he was.

He laughs mirthlessly, his sad, bitter eyes filling with tears. "Oh yeah? Was Caitlyn your best friend? I can't remember. Memories of her begging for you to stay and for you to believe me just cloud my mind. Plus, you and Nate always made such a point to get along." He says sarcastically and you close your eyes tightly. You don't want to think of the fights and tears you had before you left.

"Shane, I cannot do this right now." You cop out, your voice grainy. He growls slightly under his breath and takes a step forward. The green in his eyes are even more apparent because of the anger he holds in them. You bite your lip harshly; why is he angry? He doesn't deserve to be angry with you. He is the one who cheated on you!

"Sorry, we'll talk about this next time one of my brothers is interred into the ground." He snaps, tears finally falling. You swallow harshly, crossing your arms weakly. Your eyes soften when you see the wetness on his cheeks, and you almost want to hug him. The feelings in you are so conflicting.

"What do you want from me, Shane?"

He laughs again. "I want you to admit you're a selfish bitch who runs away all the time. I want you to admit that you were wrong in pushing me - us - away because of some fame whore who was trying to get attention, and I want you to admit that you shouldn't have left me and you should have at least listened to me before you run crying to your mommy." He yells, his voice starting to echo. You notice subconsciously people are starting to get up and the ceremony is done, but you focus more on him.

"You cheated on me!" you scream back, your eyes so blurry. You try to wipe them away furiously. You feel like he is repeatedly hitting you for something you haven't done. You don't even want to see his face again.

"I didn't cheat on you!" He argues, throwing his arms up. "Some fucking girl tells you differently and you believe her? I don't know if you know this Mitchie, but we've been together since we were eighteen and twenty years old. Five fucking years, Mitchie. How the fuck could you believe someone over me?" He gets closer to you, his voice definitely echoing throughout the place. His eyes are dark and cloudy.

You sigh raggedly, your eyes falling to the floor. "Because why wouldn't you sleep with her? She is so much better than me." You whisper, running a hand through your dark hair. Shane growls somewhat again, his eyes burning with tears as he struggles to keep it together. His hand grabs your dress, pulling at the fabric to keep you close when you take a step back. He opens his mouth but he gets cut off.

"Stop it." You and Shane spring apart, and you gasp softly under your breath when you see the distraught eyes of Mrs. Grey. "Please. I don't need this right now." She looks so heartbroken that you look down ashamed. Shane squeezes your hip but lets you go, tears running freely down his face. You hate that his touch still makes you shiver and you try to hide it by wrapping your arms tightly around yourself.

He makes you feel so guilty for leaving.

It's not fair.

"Now, can the two of you be civil enough to come with me to the opening of the will?" Denise continues, not waiting for a response before walking ahead. Her heels clack on the sidewalk as she strongly holds herself together. You frown and run to catch up with her, leaving Shane behind. He sighs raggedly and he shakes his head roughly.

"Why won't you just believe me?" he mutters defeated, sniffing loudly. Denise turns around and gives him a look, and you freeze. Stop it, you mouth to him but he is too emotional. He runs his hands roughly through his hair. "No, damn it! I wouldn't fucking lie to you. Can you just believe me, please?" His voice cracks and Ms. Grey puts a hand on his arm.

"Relax, and let it go. Right now, we have bigger problems." She swallows down a new batch of tears and turns back around. Shane frowns but doesn't say anything. You shuffle awkwardly before stopping.

"I think I should go. I just wanted to give you a hug before I left to Dallas again, and to tell you if you ever need help Jamie, I'll be there in a second." You tell her, putting your hand softly on Ms. Grey's shoulder. She presses her lips together before pulling you into a strong hug. You can hear the deep gasp of air she takes that is filled with tears and stress. You try to hold her tighter but she pulls away. She has always been like a second mother to you; you love her like one anyways.

"Thank you, honey." She mutters, patting your back. A single tear falls from her face when she takes a step back. Suddenly, she is leaning in again to whisper in your ear. "I love you like you were my own, but I trust my son with all my heart. Give him a chance. He has been miserable and now with Nate and Caitlyn's deaths…please." You freeze and look away when she clears her throat.

Images of Shane, Claire, and the magazine articles come rushing to your mind. The tears, the begging, the finding, the screams. The betrayal. The anger. The pain.

"But you still have to go back with us. You were named on the will." You blink at her and Shane's eyes widen.

"Oh." You mutter, and try to ignore Shane. The stare he gives you is mixed with emotions - from anger to desperation to sadness. You flinch when you meet his eyes and wrap your arms around you. You have to be strong. Your mother was cheated on by your father so many times, and she always believed his lies. You will not do the same.

But it hurts. You trusted him so much. You put all your faith, all your love, all your hope into him. You told him all your secrets, shared all doubts and faults. You told him so much, and he betrayed you. Nothing hurts more than that, except maybe the fact that you still love him. You just wish it never happened because he took all that faith and love and hope and twisted it into absolutely nothing.

"For what?" Shane's voice is harsh and a shiver goes through your body.

Denise freezes and looks at the two of you with sadness in her eyes. "You two love each other so much. Don't let a misunderstanding - or a mistake - keep you apart." She starts out with. Your eyes flash with anger and you press your lips together. She notices and gives you a soft glance. "You will need to work together." She continues and Shane raises an eyebrow confused. She sighs. "You two are Jamie's Godparents. You will have custody of him. Together."

XXX

Ahh! So this is my new story. I don't know if it is long awaited for you guys, but it definitely is for me. I missed posting and reading your reviews and being awesome together :D I have a new crew, a new attitude and a new life. So I really hope you liked this. It is sadder than usual, but maybe that's the point.

Tell me your thoughts. I would love to hear them! Let me know if you guys want me to continue with this. I'll upload the next chapter at 20 reviews? Is that fair?

Send me a PM if you want as well.

Love ya!

Also I have a new blog - just for me - where I speak of my life. It is found at the link on my profile.

Sandy

PS - I really hope you like this story. It will be a little rough and will most likely be rated M quite soon. Maybe chapter 2 or 3.