A/N: This is a sequel to "Not Enough" and "Love's Illusions". If you haven't read those, you might want to read them so you can understand what's happening.

I wrote this, in hopes that Sasuke and Naruto can finally find a way to heal and understand what they want, for themselves and for each other. Their story has been haunting me, so I need to wrap it up, because they do deserve a happy ending, don't you think?

This should have three parts. Written from Naruto's POV.

Disclaimer: They belong to Kishimoto Masashi-sama.

Warnings: Drama, swearing, eventual sexual interaction between two people of the same gender. It's called yaoi, homossexuality, man on man action. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!

Un-beta'd.

Recycling Hearts

Part I: Seeing You

Of all the places in the world, I never expected to be kneeling on the floor of one of the Uchiha family mansion's guest rooms.

The room is very…plain, typically Japanese, I suppose, with running white doors and polished, light colored wooden walls with simple paintings and scrolls hanging here and there.

To be honest, Sasuke, I knew you had a traditional family, but I never would have guessed that they owned such a traditional looking house (what with your parents having resided in England for so long), surrounded by seemingly endless grounds of gorgeous vegetation, with white thick walls to protect it and everything.

You told me once that the Uchiha had been a powerful clan once, their name and personal tradition living on through the centuries until this very day. I remember you trying to explain the family history to me, but I tuned you out because listening to a bunch of historical tales had sounded boring. I regret that, now, for many reasons.

I haven't been in Japan since I was three, so it's not like this is familiar to me. You taught me a few conducts when we were dating, but I seriously can't remember most of them. I do know that it's polite to bow down a lot.

I stare at the sliding door unblinkingly, my mind going blank for a few seconds before I ask myself if this really is a good idea, or if I should just get up and leave.

Coming face to face with my past shouldn't represent something scary, but it does, in a way. We were together for twenty years, after all - as rivals, friends, and later on, lovers. Both our lives were intricately intertwined until the very end of our explosive relationship, and that's not something that can be ignored, even though I tried to. At the time, I knew it was all for the best, but leaving you was like losing a very important part of my identity, a part of my life, and, most of all, a part of me, because everything that surrounded you was left behind as well.

Because, really, not everything about our love story was bad. There were times when it was impossible for us to not be miserable, but in truth, when things were alright, we weren't just happy together – we were perfect. There was just something about us that was simply it back then, and I still can't explain it today, after all these years. There was empathy, desire, need, trust, and camaraderie. There was also frustration, anger, and hatred. Most of all, there was genuine love and hope for better days.

That kind of ecstasy and passion…I still can't get that anywhere else.

I left you tired of my own convictions towards you. In a short time, I came to understand that it was your relentless stubbornness that gave me the strength to endure the rocky paths of life. We grew up together; we were always there for each other, so, without you, I was left in a position where I didn't really know what to do with myself.

On that day – the worst day of my life – I left my heart in your pocket along with other things I had trusted upon you for so long. I left half of me behind.

It was… is very hard on me, to say the truth. Some things in life just can't be forgotten. I was naïve in thinking otherwise, but there is no point in crying over spilled milk at this point.

Sasuke, to me, we were everything that mattered. I still think a lot about you – about us. I truly loved you, and in spite of all the things I said in the past, I know you were (and probably will always be) the love of my life, because no-one has managed to compare to you until now.

I'm just so sorry that we weren't smarter from the very beginning. We should've done things differently, tried to think before acting, listened to what people around us said. If we had stayed friends instead, and allowed each other to grow up before starting something deeper, I'm sure things would've been better. We didn't have time to accommodate to each other's personalities in all that teenage oblivion.

But we were too stupid to back down, too fueled up by our own hormones and the joys of love to think about that. We never really stopped being rivals, I think, and becoming lovers in such a state was probably the worst decision we ever made. We had no maturity to deal with our feelings of frustration and lust for each other. We just had to be together, come out to everyone with pride, and refuse any form of advice or criticism. Now, I see that they were all seeing something we didn't.

We were childish, and obnoxious.

In the end, it all comes down to my life (and yours) simply being poorly planned and executed from the very beginning.

Do I wish we had been patient and waited for each other a little longer?

God, yes.

People saw how much we loved each other, you know? Even your father acknowledged it; that's why he threatened to disown you and tried to tear us apart – he was scared for you, worried about the predictable fiasco we were the only ones failing to foresee.

That's why I'm here, now, holding no grudges and willing to step into your world after so long.

I am probably more nervous than anything else because my initial idea wasn't to come see you personally, per se, but I somehow have the feeling that Itachi didn't invite me just so I could have fun at your birthday party.

Of course, I can't help but to know that this is, in fact, the perfect opportunity to get to see you.

The smaller right hand in my left one squeezes it as if to wake me up from my musings. I blink, looking down at sympathetic blues eyes that match mine.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to," my thirteen year old daughter, Alice, says, with gentleness. "We can just stay at a hotel or something."

Her long blond hair – straight, like her mother's, but the color undoubtedly mine – blows gently in the soft afternoon breeze coming from the window behind us. Looking at her makes me feel warm inside as my uneasiness slowly fades away.

"It's fine, honey," I assure, squeezing her hand back. "They were like family, once. It was me who didn't really get in touch, but I'm actually looking forward to seeing them again."

It's true, Sasuke. I miss your parents – yes, even your dad – and Itachi, too. I don't really know any other Uchiha because this is Japan and I met you guys back in England, but I'm kind of excited about meeting the rest of the family.

Alice nods at me and offers me a small, reassuring smile before releasing my hand. I feel the weight upon my shoulders being slightly lifted, and I can't help but to be thankful for her presence. She's so smart, so mature for her age. I don't know what I'd do without her.

I still don't know how I have summoned the courage to tell her about us. Well, about me. How can a man tell his child that he has spent a good part of his life as a gay man? Worst, how could I explain to her that I have loved another man for so many years, even while married to her mother? Should I tell her that, if things had worked out between us (like I wish they had) she wouldn't be in this world?

But Alice, it seems, is far more understanding than I could've hoped for, because she accepted everything I have told her without as much as a nod. She asked me if I still loved you, and I said, yes, of course I still do.

I don't think I ever stopped. It wasn't like I tried to delude myself about it, it was more like…I felt that it was better for me to ignore that constant nagging feeling of emptiness inside of me, trying to fill it over and over again with useless things. I managed to move on, obviously, and have been doing just fine during these many years we have been apart, but some things can never be erased, no matter how much time passes.

I remember wishing that the time would come when we could be friends and have a normal relationship, a normal friendship. I wonder if that time has finally come. I wonder if I'll be able to look at you and not want to kiss you; if I'll be able to be next to you without feeling like eating you alive. I wonder if your eyes will finally stop making me feel awkward, or if I'll ever be able to breathe easily when you're in the same room.

I miss you. I miss talking to you and having you listen to every word I say. Even if you disagree, even if you throw some nasty remark at me, I know you will be listening and understanding. I miss your laughter, your voice, your calculated gestures, and that little tick on your nose when something displeases you.

I just want this longing to stop. If, for some reason, I can have you back in my life, maybe I'll find some semblance of normalcy again. Maybe I'll find the old me again.

I used to hate the old me – the person I was when I was with you. But now, when I look back, I realize that, in spite of always being as miserable as I was happy, I was undoubtedly alive. You made me feel that way, for all the good and the bad reasons.

It's funny how the world works, isn't it? And it's been…seventeen years since the day we've broken up.

I'm not sorry that I left; I'm just sorry that I had to hurt you in order to do so. I'm sorry that we couldn't be sensible enough to do things differently. I'm sorry that, ten years ago, I was selfish once again in wanting you. I'm sorry for using you to quell that insatiable need in me for you, only to abandon you once again.

I hated myself for it, because you gave in so easily. It was like going back in time and I was falling hopelessly in love all over again, like we hadn't been apart at all. It was like…everything fell back into place, then, and I coudn't explain it if I tried.

But it was precisely because we had both given in so easily that I knew we weren't ready yet - and it was a hard blow to take.

Sasuke, do you hate me? I wouldn't blame you if you did.

I am afraid of seeing you again, to be honest, because I don't know what to expect. I don't know what you've been up to, what you look like now, if you have another lover, or if you're still clinging to that idiotic 'I'm-fine-by-myself' ideology. Maybe you have fallen in love with someone else in the meanwhile. Some part of me wishes you have, while another part feels morose at the perspective. But I don't care anymore; it doesn't matter what you're doing, or who you're with.

I just want to see you happy, looking as amazing as you always did. For some reason, thinking about this makes my heart feel constricted.

"Dad," Alice whispers urgently, punching my thigh and waking me up from my thoughts. "Someone's coming!"

I straighten my back at once and notice that my vision is blurry. I quickly rub my eyes with the palm of my hand and manage to regain my composure just as the fragile door slides open to reveal my ex-almost-in-laws.

My gaze focuses on Mikoto-san first, who is wearing a beautiful white Kimono with blood red flowers on it. I notice how, in spite of the visible new found wrinkles on the corners of her eyes, mouth, and forehead, she still looks younger than her age. Her long hair, once of a dark black-bluish color, has now acquired a slightly greyish tone and is tied in a long braid resting over her chest, falling all the way down to her waist. She still looks youthful, her correct, porcelain doll features showing a still vivid beauty.

She is smiling genuinely as she enters the room in her white slippers, Fugaku-san close behind her in his dark blue Yukata, each hand shoved inside the opposite arm's sleeve, looking as tall and as severe as I remember. He looks fairly older, his own wrinkles very pronounced, but that's probably because he spent more time frowning and making angry faces than anyone I know. His hair is now almost white, but just like Mikoto-san, he is still a good-looking man, what with that imposing presence and his firm stance. I am relieved to see them healthy and well.

I get up, not able to help my own smile at seeing Mikoto-san's, and Alice follows my lead.

"Naruto, I am so happy to see you!" the older woman says in her broken accented English, coming to me with her tiny small arms stretched before pulling me in for a tight hug. "It's been forever since we've seen each other!"

I hug her back before pulling away a bit. "It's wonderful to see you, too," I mumble, looking into her dark eyes, so much like yours, Sasuke, and noticing the tears of emotion in them. "You look absolutely stunning, as usual."

She chuckles a bit and sniffs, slapping my arm slightly before pulling away completely. "You were always such a charmer. And you're still as handsome as ever!"

I smile thankfully at her before turning to Fugaku-san. He isn't smiling at all, his eyes trained on me with an expression that is hard to read, and I would've felt intimidated by that look when I was younger, but right now, all I can think about is how much I have missed even that sour face.

I strongly disliked this man in the past, but after you and I broke up, I began to realize that Fugaku-san didn't hate me – he was only worried about you and about the path we were taking together. As a father, I understand him, now, and how much of a threat I might've been to him as his son's irresponsible and impulsive lover.

I offer him a polite and respectful bow that he doesn't reciprocate.

"It's very nice to see you again, Fugaku-san," I say, chancing a small smile in his direction. "You look well."

He eyes me penetratingly in silence for a few seconds before inhaling sharply and extending his strong hand to me, something he has never really done before.

I blink at the hand a few times before taking it and shaking it vigorously, my smile growing.

"It's good to see you, too, Naruto," he replies, in his very formal tone, but the way he addresses me so informally actually takes me by surprise, since he always called me 'Uzumaki' or 'Naruto-kun'. "We are very happy to welcome you to our house. It's been far too long."

"Yes, it has," I agree, laughing a bit shyly at his words. "Life sure is full of surprises."

"To think that we saw you grow up," Fugaku-san says, hand squeezing mine strongly and meaningfully before letting go, slowly. "And now here you are, a responsible adult. It somehow feels a bit nostalgic."

I nod, silently agreeing with him. There is something akin to approval and a bit of sadness in his eyes, letting me know that, somehow, he finds it unfortunate that things turned out the way they did. This comforts me, and already I am thankful for having come here just to be able to go through such an experience.

Your father was never very talkative, but when he did open his mouth to speak, something meaningful was sure to be said.

"And this adorable girl must be Alice!" Mikoto-san notes, smiling softly at my daughter, who promptly bows down as I taught her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha," she mumbles, blushing a bit. "Thank you for having me here."

"Not at all, we are thrilled to meet you," the older woman dismisses, bowing elegantly to Alice as well, while Fugaku-san merely lowers his chin. "How old are you, dear?"

"Thirteen." Alice answers sweetly.

"Toshi, our grandson, is fifteen," Fugaku-san comments casually. "He has already been instructed to show you around, Alice. I'm sure the two of you will be good friends."

"I hope so, Sir," Alice replies, her eyes brightening up at the mention of company of someone close to her age.

"He and Sasuke left to help Itachi run a few errands, but they should be arriving soon," Mikoto-san says, gesturing to the pillows we had been kneeling on so we could go back to our previous positions. "We weren't expecting you so soon."

"I thought it would take us longer to get here from the airport," I explain, scratching the back of my head as the couple also kneels down at the table, across from us. "My Japanese is more than rusty, but apparently I managed to get here fairly quickly. I'm sorry for being early, it was probably rude of me."

"Don't worry about it," Fugaku-san huffs, as if my apologies are ridiculous. "Things are relatively calm around here, since the family hasn't arrived yet. Tomorrow, though, people will start coming to help with preparations for Sasuke's birthday. He hasn't spent it with us since he was a teenager, so we really are glad that he managed to be on vacation at this particular time of the year. Hopefully you don't mind."

"Not at all, I just hope I can be helpful in some way," I say, with honesty. "You know me, I blend in easily amongst the chaos."

"What brings you here to Japan?" Mikoto-san asks, stroking her braid gently with both hands, the smile never leaving her face.

"Well, Alice has been wanting to visit the country I was born in for a while," I start, exchanging looks with my girl. "And what better time than the summer? I mentioned it to Itachi a few weeks ago, while we were chatting online, and he immediately invited us to stay here. I was a bit hesitant at first, because I didn't want us to be an inconvenience, but Itachi insisted so much that…well, here we are."

"Japan is a lovely country," Fugaku-san comments with a serious nod, shoving his hands inside his sleeves once more. "There is a lot to see, and it's easy to get to the cities from here, even though this mansion looks like it's in the middle of nowhere. You can borrow one of my cars to go sightseeing."

I almost choke on my own saliva.

"Ah, no, I couldn't possibly accept that!" I exclaim, raising my hands in front of me in refusal. "I'm sure we can call a taxi, or just walk to the nearest train station, or…"

"Nonsense," Mikoto-san interrupts jovially. "As if we'd let you do that, silly. You're family, and we expect you to accept our hospitality as such."

"Heh…" I mutter, feeling my cheeks burn up a little in awkwardness, not really knowing how to respond to that.

It's not like I don't know they were fond of me in their own way, and still are. You and I have grown up together; I spent countless vacations with you and your family, and even after we started dating seriously and rebelled against the world, they were there for us, always wanting to help us in their own way, but we were too proud to accept any kind of charity. I know they knew we went through some rough times during college, but you and I always preferred to fight for ourselves, trying to make some kind of statement, as if we wanted to prove that we could fend for ourselves more than fine.

Today, I honestly wish we could've been wiser. They might not have agreed with our relationship – then again, no-one did – but they never meant us no harm. Our lives could've been a lot easier if we had just taken their advices. I'm sure they never wanted us to almost starve.

I often feel like slapping myself when I think about the past. I wonder what your parents thought of us back then, of me, of the pain I made you go through, and yet, they are able to still consider me family and welcome me and my daughter to their house with open arms.

Some part of me knows that they understood us – they knew how much we meant to each other – the love, the hatred, the happiness, and the sorrow. They knew it and they understood, that's why I'm able to look into their faces so openly.

They don't judge us anymore. I think that we did manage to make a statement, after all, even if it took so long for it to be acknowledged.

It makes me happy, Sasuke, that we managed to get through to everyone in the end. Our family, our friends…I know they all understood what we were to each other when we finally said our goodbyes. I'm not sure about you, but I lived in such a burning hell afterwards that people actually started considering calling you to come back and 'save me'.

"Naruto, honey, are you alright?" Mikoto-san's soft voice wakes me up from unwanted memories and I blink at her before forcing out a smile. I can feel Alice's eyes on me, but I don't look at her. She already knows enough as it is about us, and I don't need her to think that being here makes me sad, because it doesn't.

"I'm great," I say, shaking my head from side to side. "Just a bit jetlagged, I suppose."

She nods in understanding, but doesn't seem to believe me. "You two are probably tired and eager for a bit of rest. Forgive us for imposing on you, we just really wanted to be able to welcome you and Alice after all this time."

"Please, Mikoto-san, we're fine," I dismiss, good-naturedly. "I was looking forward to spending some time with the both of you, as well."

I can almost swear Fugaku-san's face has gained a new pinkish tone to it even though his expression doesn't change. His wife, though, beams at me happily.

"I'm glad!" she says, with a delicate nod. "The tea should be arriving soon, as well as a few treats. I'm sure you are both famished, airplane food is always horrid."

"Yes, thank you so much," Alice answers, clearly looking forward to having something – probably Japanese – to eat.

"We've been hearing about you from Itachi throughout the years," Fugaku-san proceeds austerely after clearing his throat. "We were happy to know that you have been faring well in life. Also, it was good to know that you still communicate with someone from our family."

"Well, yes…" I mumble, my muscles tensing ever so slightly at the implications in the undertone. "I always had Itachi's phone number and e-mail, but we spent a long time without actually talking to each other, and then Sasuke told me he moved here with the both of you, and I kind of felt bad because I never really had time to say goodbye." I scratch my forearm awkwardly, feeling my cheeks heat up at the feel of your name coming from my mouth. "So I e-mailed him and we've been talking, keeping each other updated and all that."

"But you don't usually talk to Sasuke, do you?" Mikoto-san inquires, in a careful, gentle way.

Alice observes me quietly, a strange stiffness in her letting me know that she is curious as to what I'm going to say, or better yet, how I'm going to say it.

"Ah, no, not really," I admit, feeling a bit stupid all of a sudden. "I mean, we did meet once, about…ten years ago, I think, but we haven't really…talked, or seen each other since then. I was going through divorce at the time, and it was a complicated period for me. I was happy that I got to talk to him, though, but I wasn't exactly on a right state of mind to initiate a friendship with him. It still wasn't the right moment yet, I suppose, and then…Time just goes by so fast, you know? And now it's been ten years."

"Time does go by way too fast, sometimes," the older woman agrees, her smile becoming a little sad. She places her hand over Fugaku-san's knee. "I reckon he's excited about seeing you again, in his own way. You know him, always keeping to himself around everybody, even today. He was always able to open up to you, though."

"Yeah," I nod, feeling my throat run dry. "Telling me exactly what was on his mind was never an issue to him."

"We are very proud of you," Fugaku-san compliments unexpectedly, in a cold tone to mask his perturbation. "Of the both of you, I mean. You have actually managed to do the right thing, at the right time, before things got out of hand. Patience is a virtue, Naruto, and you and Sasuke, unfortunately, had to learn it the hard way. I'm just glad that you are both mature enough now not to make a big deal out of this whole situation." He sighs and frowns clumsily, as if not really knowing what to do with his face. "I only hope we can finally leave the past behind and start over, all of us. I'm sure Sasuke agrees."

To know that your family is finally siding with us is wonderful. Even if we're no longer together, Sasuke, they finally want things to fall into place, and that's more than enough encouragement for me. They finally acknowledge where we belong.

Knowing that your father, this austere man that I always thought had made my life a living hell feels this way is enough to provide a boost of courage and hope in me, and I flash him the biggest grin I can before exclaiming "I sure hope so, too!"

I know, now, that it'll be alright. Coming here was definitely worth it.

oOo

I'm feeling rather thankful that Alice and I have been given separate bedrooms. She's already a teenager, and thus, very demanding of her privacy, and even though I wouldn't particularly mind sharing a room with her, I have to admit that having my own private corner is a welcomed relief. In a way, I'm a little scared of her being subjected to my emotional conflicts when we are supposed to be on vacation and just have fun and be carefree.

I have to admit that, in a way, this big, traditional house does feel like home. It's not familiar at all, visually speaking, but the environment is familiar enough - the atmosphere - and it feels nice to be here now that I no longer feel trapped by your family's reproach. It's weird, but I like it.

I think this whole situation has been a valuable lesson to all of us, and the fact that your parents seem to want me back into their lives, somehow, is proof enough of that. I'm not sure what they're expecting at this stage, but I suppose they're content in getting something positive out of it, just like me.

It's also weird that I don't feel like a stranger here. I don't feel nervous anymore, I feel…expectant, excited, yes, but not nervous.

After we ate and talked some more about trivial things, Mikoto-san has showed us around only enough for us to know where our rooms are and where is what so we don't get lost. She probably expects us to make ourselves at home. There are less servants than what I expected, actually, only five for such a huge mansion – three women and two men, which means that everybody in the house works, including the owners. It's pretty shocking considering your parents are loaded, but then again, they only had a butler and a housekeeper in England.

Of course, even though my former parents-in-law went back to their affairs and allowed us to have a bit of time for ourselves and 'get comfortable', Alice and I didn't really explore much, instead opting to enjoy the sunset from the front entrance porch while we played with the two large Akita dogs we found lurking around. They are both stunning – one of them is of a pure, snowy white – the female – while the other – the male – is of a reddish brown with white in his paws, tail and chest. Alice and I were happy to discover that they are actually calm and friendly, albeit proud creatures.

I am now sitting on the wooden floor of the porch with my feet resting on the single step. I pull the sleeves of my sweater up before leaning forward and resting my elbows over my knees. The white Akita is lying down beside me with her head up in a contemplative alert stance, electric baby blue eyes watching as the male and Alice play catch in front of us.

The breeze is warm and carries the scents of the beautiful and colorful flowery garden surrounding us. I can hear birds singing over Alice's soft laughter and the dog's occasional bark of excitement as she waves the dry stick she has found over her head, keeping it away from the animal's reach before throwing it. I can't help but to smile. She is such a well-behaved child, truly a kind, sensitive spirit. Every day I thank God she takes more after me than she does her mother.

I had expected her to ask questions about the Uchiha family – about you – once we were alone, and yet, she didn't, and I'm glad, because it means that she understands how important this is to me, how much I need my emotional space right now. But I know she is watching me, evaluating my every move, studying everything very carefully. She wants to know, to comprehend me, but she knows she won't get that sort of information from my mouth.

It is better this way, I think, because I will never be able to explain it to her, not in a way that is faithful to the truth. Who you are to me, what we were, our story, everything…I don't think words alone will ever be enough.

The Akita beside me gets up suddenly, startling me. Only when the male stills his playing with Alice do I hear the sound of a vehicle approaching outside the tall walls that surround the mansion. The male Akita releases one single, authoritarian bark and then runs to the black irony doors, the female following suit. Together, the two wait with their fluffy tails wagging excitedly.

My heart speeds up as the vehicle (a car, I guess) seems to come to a halt. I can hear the engine being turned off. With my heart racing a bit in expectancy, I listen attentively to everything happening outside these walls, things I can't see but can only picture inside my head. Alice straightens up and looks at me with her clear eyebrows disappearing underneath her fringe.

Doors opening and slamming closed are followed by voices chatting casually. I can recognize yours, low and deep, even now, and Itachi's, too, even though you seem to be speaking Japanese. Alice gulps and quickly runs to me, her blond hair billowing behind her.

"Is that them?" she asks agitatedly when I get up and pat the dust from my bottom.

"Yeah, I think so," I say, smiling a bit as she grabs my arm with one hand and quickly tries to compose her dress and hair with the other. "Don't be nervous, pumpkin, you'll love them and I just know they'll love you, too."

Even if I say this, I can only try to pretend that the sound of your voice makes nothing for me, when in reality, I feel like I'm about to have a stroke. I am experiencing a small feeling of euphoria inside, but I prefer to keep a low profile, so as to not alarm Alice. I can keep it cool. I've been doing it professionally for years.

"Don't tell me not to be nervous, what about you?" Alice hisses, looking up at me with a cute pout. "Aren't you supposed to be nervous?"

"I'm fine." I assure her, caressing the top of her head.

"Sure you are…" she mumbles, frowning worriedly at me. "Dad, we can…"

One of the dog barks again and the sound of keys entering the door's lock and turning can be heard. In my ears, it echoes like the sound of a hornet announcing the start of a war, but I school my features to keep them calm and…well, as mature and as confident as I can.

One of the heavy doors creaks open and the first figure emerges, at once being assaulted by both dogs, and I recognize Itachi. He looks as I remember, with long hair that is now a dark grey color, tied in a loose pony tail, still tall and imposing with expensive-looking clothes that fail in being casual. I can see signs of age making him resemble Fugaku-san, but still with a kinder face. Itachi pets both dogs to calm them down, and you come in as well, followed by a teenage boy who shuts the door behind him that I fail to observe properly, because the moment my eyes set on you, everything else seems to disappear. I am vaguely aware of Alice squeezing my arm before my lungs effectively forget they are supposed to function in providing air.

You are wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, classic but stylish black boots and a casual dark blue, short sleeved shirt that suits your still elegant and fit body all too well. Sunglasses cover your eyes, but I can see that you still look far too young for your age, and far too handsome. Your hair, unlike Itachi's, is still mostly pitch black, only now instead of only having those gorgeous bluish highlights, I can see flecks of dark grey as well.

The female Akita jumps around you happily, trying to get both yours and the boy's attention, and you smile at her before crouching down and petting her snout with both hands affectionately.

I am mesmerized by your calm smile, perfect teeth showing, and when you speak to the dog, you do so in Japanese, but I don't care about what you're saying, I just want to focus on your voice and on all the things it makes me feel, even though I can't seem to be able to identify what they are, exactly. It's like going back in time, and I just want to absorb this new image of you. I'm so overwhelmingly happy that you look just the way I had expected you to.

"Naruto!"

It's Itachi's voice that wakes me up from my trance, but only for a moment, because at your brother's exclamation, you seem to notice me and your face tilts up and turns in my direction. I can't see your eyes, but I just know you are looking at me. The smile fades from your face. I don't take it as a bad thing; it's been years since we've seen each other, so it's only normal.

Before I can process anything, arms surround my shoulders in a tight hug, and I notice that it's your brother, because you are still standing there, way too distant, like a vivid dream I desperately want to be real. I allow myself to breathe before I pass out from lack of oxygen.

"It's good to see you!" Itachi says in English, leaning away a bit with his hands on my shoulders, and have to look away from you to look at him, who is still taller than me, unfortunately. I pat his back in a friendly, familiar way, remembering that the world does not revolve around you and that I also missed Itachi. "If we had known you were here already we'd have gotten home sooner! And why didn't you call? We would've picked you up from the airport."

"You're saying way too many things at once for me to know how to properly answer to them," I laugh, finding it surprisingly easy to regain my composure. "We're alright; we got here safe and sound, and your parents were the perfect hosts. It's already enough that you lot have to put up with me."

"Don't be stupid," Itachi replies, smiling openly and shaking my shoulders a bit. "Damn, you look old."

"Geez, thanks," I mutter, rolling my eyes and making a displeased face. "You just crushed my ego to crumps."

"Nah, I didn't mean it like that," the older Uchiha explains, letting go of me. "I meant to say that you look older. We haven't seen each other since you were, what, 27? 28? You definitely look different. But don't worry, you're aging rather gracefully, if I may say so."

I grin at him and he ruffles my hair affectionately, just like he used to do when we were younger, making me feel rather nostalgic and pleasantly childish. I can sense you approaching, the dogs following you faithfully, but you're still a few steps behind the young teenage boy, that Itachi pulls by the arm to his side.

When you move to remove the sunglasses from your face, my eyes are instantly drawn to you, desperate for a glimpse of yours, and you don't disappoint, staring straight at me with that cool, impassive look that is so yours.

Those eyes are as intense and deceivingly dark as I remember, like the troubled sea on a stormy night, so erotically alive and clever it makes a familiar shiver run down my spine.

The corner of your mouth twitches a bit in a semblance of a smile. When your lips part, I watch them move as if my life depends on it before you speak in that amazing husky voice of yours "Hello, Naruto."

I swallow hard, a little taken aback by the chills running all over my skin, but offer a small smile as well, relieved that you didn't address me with your usual aloofness or distaste.

"Hi, Sasuke," I greet back, my voice somehow more steady than what I had predicted, your name sounding oddly sinful coming from my mouth after all these years.

There is a light tension in the air, but not a hostile one. It's not exactly awkward, it's just…curious, cautious.

"Naruto, this is my son, Toshi." Itachi introduces, effectively cutting the heaviness in the air around us, which makes me focus my attention on the younger male and notice for the first time how incredibly attractive he is. He has the same pale, defined features all Uchiha seem to possess, his expression very serious. His hair is rebel and as black as black can get; his eyes are minty green and shine under the setting sun's light. The boy nods politely at me, and I nod back. I can't help but to feel an odd pang of sadness at the memory of those green eyes, and once more, Itachi doesn't seem to be too keen on letting the atmosphere grow tense, because he immediately looks at my daughter and flashes her a smile that is as charming as it is seductive. "And who is this beautiful young lady?"

I look down at Alice, whose eyes are opened wide as she stares at the Uchiha trio with obvious embarrassment and fascination. Her eyes quickly travel from Itachi to Toshi, then to you, the wheels spinning rather clumsily inside her head.

"Ah, this is my girl, Alice," I introduce, softly, brushing my fingers through her hair. "Say 'hi' to Toshi, Itachi and Sasuke, honey."

She blushes violently but politely bows down to all of you, effectively earning a lick to the nose from the white Akita in the process. She makes a disgusted face and straightens up at once, blushing even more furiously.

You are looking at her with interest, something in your mind causing your features to soften. It makes my heart melt all the way down to my feet. Toshi smirks at Alice's discomfiture, and it reminds me so much of you at that age that I find myself feeling a bit emotional.

"I think she likes you," the boy notes in perfect English, crossing his arms over his chest. "She doesn't usually like the female gender. That's Yuzuki, by the way, and the male is Yuudai."

"Huh…yeah," Alice stutters, chuckling nervously and rubbing the remnants of dog slobber from her nose with the back of her hand. "Anyway…It's…it's nice to meet you all."

The three of them bow to her as well, in a more graceful fashion, which effectively makes her grin more confidently.

"We are very happy to meet you, as well," Itachi says honestly, winking and extending his hand cordially to her. She looks at me and I nod at her encouragingly. She takes Itachi's hand. "Which is why we should both help Toshi feeding the dogs before dinner time. My mother doesn't like having them around the house, so they have a little corner of their own where they spend the night, right next to our family shrine in the main garden. Have you seen it yet?"

I feel like laughing at Itachi's not so subtle excuse for leaving the two of us alone.

"No, Sir, not yet." Alice mutters, letting go of my arm with a bit of hesitance.

"Please, drop the formalities and call me Itachi," the elder Uchiha requests, good-naturedly, already pulling her along as he walks away, Toshi whistling to make the dogs follow them, which they do, in the most obedient of ways. "You are going to love it here; we live rather traditionally, but the Japanese have the most fascinating rules of conduct. I have spent most of my life in England, did Naruto tell you?"

"Yes…" Alice replies before looking at me over her shoulder, as Itachi keeps mumbling stuff, a strange expression crossing her features. I know she is a little disgruntled at the prospect of being dragged away by two complete strangers, but at the same time, there is understanding there, and excitement, the light in her eyes wishing me good-luck.

I wave at her while shaking my head from side to side, somehow moved by the scene while you move closer to stop beside me, both of us watchin them until they disappear around the house.

For a few seconds, we just stand here, side by side, close enough to be conscious of each other, but not enough to touch.

The reality of your body is fascinating to me. Like a ghost demanding awareness, your presence feels different from other people – strong, familiar, and so unmistakably you. It's like my soul has stirred to life in the presence of yours.

Relief washes over me like anguishing suffering melting away.

It feels nice to just have you around, to be conscious of your living existence.

I turn to you, not able to contain the way my mouth stretches to the sides in a huge smile. You look at me as well, head slightly tilted to the side with a curiosity that is expectant and almost innocent. You don't smile back, but your eyes are calm, watching me with that stoic attentiveness I had wanted to see for so long.

There are so many things I want to say to you, Sasuke, but even though I have opened my mouth, the words won't come out. I know it's a fragile moment, the one we are sharing, and even though I am so eager to finally talk to you the way we should've talked all those years ago, I know it's better to wait, to treasure the simplicity of the right now. Hopefully, we'll have time for it all.

You wait for me to say something, patiently. When I fail to do so, you make a familiar clucking sound with your tongue and break the silence. You casually hang your sunglasses in the collar of your shirt and say "Could you stop staring at me with that ridiculous look on your face? Because it's seriously creeping me out."

I swallow the lump in my throat down, the sound of your voice unblocking my momentary disability.

"Fucking hell, Sasuke…" I breathe out, a sudden happiness at the mere sight of you invading me. That's about all I can say before my body moves on its own and I'm pulling you in for a hug, my arms around your neck to hold you as close as I can. I bury my nose in our neck and my hands in your still spiky but silky hair, my whole being relishing in that amazing everything that is you.

You don't feel different from what I remember, your body full of all the right angles, perfect, and comfortable. You still smell of the delicious scent of Davidoff's Cool Water.

You tense a bit, but don't let your mind get the best out of you, because your arms surround my waist and you hug me back confidently, silently showing me that you have missed this as much as I have.

It feels right. Inside, I know I still want you and desire you with everything I have, and yet, it doesn't overpower the innocent need of you as person. There is lust, simmering deep, of course. How can I not feel it, when you are still as good-looking to me now as you were when we were younger? How can I not, when I still remember everything about you, about us, and that strong, inescapable chemistry that could always blow us away and make us forget everything?

Even now, your fire consumes me, making me burn all over.

But it's not the same as it was ten years ago. There is no raging desperation to possess you, to need for you to heal me and assure me that you still feel the same way, because, Sasuke, I know you do. Loving you is like breathing.

I just need…you. Your presence, your smell, your voice, your snappish words, and your company. I don't care if we ever get to make love, or even kiss again. I don't care if you no longer want to belong to me. You probably do have someone else, because there is always someone out there who is desperately eager to keep you.

As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

You belong to you. You are free, and so am I. I gave you my heart and you chose to keep it, but that doesn't mean we have any obligation towards each other, just like we always thought we did. That was why we couldn't move on, because we wanted something from each other that was never the right choice.

It doesn't matter anymore. None of it does. You are Sasuke and I am Naruto, and we're no longer lovers. It doesn't matter as long as we can be friends. I just want you in my life. I can't live without you in it anymore. Even if we don't see each other every week, month, or even every year, I just want everything to be right, for us to finally find our rightful place in each other's future, like it's supposed to be.

My eyes water, something I had absolutely swore I wouldn't allow to happen, and yet, I'm far beyond caring at this point.

It's been far too long for me to try and act tough. It was because we both acted that way that we made so many mistakes. In the past, pride was always more important; that's why I want to bury it. Not every single bit of it, just the bad details, the pain, and the mistakes.

I sigh against your skin, infatuated by the softness of your cheek against my temple. That stupid, unwanted tear rolls down from my eye and I nuzzle my face against the curve of your neck, a weak sob escaping me.

You rub my lower back a little before your fists close around my sweater and you pull me even closer.

"You are such an idiot…" you whisper, but from your tone, I know you are smiling.

Everything feels different. Why does it feel different? Because we are older? Because we have, finally, understood what we were doing wrong?

Because we know we can't afford to screw anymore?

I value you more now than I ever did, and it's painful to realize it. I mean, you always meant the world to me, but now I have Alice, and she is the most important thing in my life, which means that you are placed on a different level in my heart and in my heart's priorities. It's not just about you and me, anymore, and yet, we need time for each other, to figure out where we stand, once and for all.

I can't believe I'm here, with you.

I want to say these things out loud, but again, I can't.

You push me slightly away and I let you, not really letting you go. Your expression is funny, because you are smiling, and yet, there is frown marring your forehead, and I let out a small, pathetic laugh.

"You're still so damned childish," you mumble, rubbing the tears away from my eyes with one firm, but gentle thumb. "Crybaby."

"I'm crying in defeat," I joke, my voice shaking a little at the feel of your fingers. "Why do you have to look so damn good at almost 45? Seriously? Bloody hell…"

You smirk cockishly, shaking your head from side to side.

"You were always making fun of me for doing skin treatments, and now look who's on top," you tease, ruffling my hair just like Itachi did a while ago. "I score, loser."

I bite my lip. Really, how can this feel so…casual? So normal?

"Bastard," I reply, cupping both your cheeks in my hands and looking at you in a way that I know is highly inappropriate, but I can't help it. "Ten years, Sasuke."

Your smirk diminishes to an inconsistent curve of lips. "No, Naruto. Seventeen," you correct, not moving away from my touch. "That's how long it took for the right nowto not feel like it's the end of the world only wearing our underwear. I can barely believe it myself."

I bite my lip again, trying to prevent yet more stupid tears from falling.

"I missed you," I whisper, joining our foreheads together. "I missed you so much, Sasuke."

It's your turn to sigh, your breath warm and clean against my parted lips. We remain silent for a few seconds, somehow happy to just be in each other's arms like this, the contact intimate but oddly unsexual.

"Naruto…" you whisper back, one arm tightening around my waist while your other hand is flat against my chest as you caress it innocently. "We have to talk. About…well, everything."

"Yeah," I agree, closing my eyes. "We need it. I really…want to make it right."

I hear you inhaling sharply, but you don't answer. We stay like this for a few seconds, just to make sure that this is as real as it feels. Then, you heave a steady sigh and move away, only to press your lips to my forehead in chaste gesture of respect that almost brings me to tears again. However, I am proud to note that I'm too happy to find it in myself to cry anymore.

You move away, taking one step backwards so we're not so shamelessly pressed together and I let you go in the process, knowing that it's a sensible move to make. My body regrets the absence of yours instantly, but I don't complain.

Suddenly, we're not touching anymore. You shove your hands inside your pockets and I cross my arms over my chest, just to keep my hands from aching for you.

We exchange a significant look. I smile. You chew on the right corner of your lower lip in contemplation.

"Welcome home," you end up saying, in a delightfully casual and simple way, devoid of malice, and I understand the implications of your words all too well.

"Thank you," I whisper, with a small nod. "It sure feels like home, now."

You snort a bit, reminding me of you as a teenager, and lower your head in hopes that your bangs will conceal your broader smile, but I can still see it. It makes feel warm all over. When you straighten up and look at me, that seriousness is still there.

"We should probably go inside," you suggest in a relaxed demeanor. "They probably think we're screwing on the porch or something."

I laugh good-humoredly.

"God forbid," I reply sarcastically. "Not that it'd be a first. I reckon your dad already has his share of traumatizing images of us."

You smirk, but end up rolling your eyes. Your cheeks become slightly rosier and I feel my heart beating clumsier again. I feel slightly dizzy.

Why are you still so fucking beautiful after all these years? It's not fair. You don't make it any easier for me, ever.

In your eyes, I see that you are perceiving my thoughts, but thankfully, you keep your mouth shut and prefer to act as if you didn't notice. Instead, you shrug and make a harsh move with your head, towards house.

"Come on, my mom probably needs help in the kitchen," you say. "She said she was going to make something special for you."

"Don't tell me…" I gasp brightly, following you to the house. "She wouldn't!"

"Oh, I think she definitely would," you tease.

Together, we enter the wooden, traditional house as we exchange meaningless words, both content, I'm sure, in just being around each other without worrying about anything else.

I know we'll have to talk. Eventually, things will be brought up and we're going to have to confront ourselves (and each other), but I have faith in us, Sasuke, so I know we'll be fine, in the end, even if the healing process that leads us to it is painful.

I don't ever want to hurt you again.

For now, it's just you and me, and that's all that matters.

TBC…

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