Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I just take them out for playtime.
This was requested by and written for my friend, SouthernWitch69, who requested I write something where Snape wrote a letter to Lily. She also beta'd it for me, bless her.
One Regret Too Many
by Soul Bound
Lily,
I am writing you this now to say the things I can never tell you aloud. I thought for years that the worst mistake I'd ever make was the word I said to you that day in our fifth year. I called you a Mudblood. In my anger and humiliation, I lashed out at you and drove you into the arms of the one I hated most. After that, I thought there was nothing worse that I could ever do. I was wrong.
Lily, I've made another grave mistake. This one is worse than the first. I lost you with a careless word all those years ago, and now I fear I've made another error in my anger and fear. You must surely know through our mutual contacts that I joined the Death Eaters, the Dark Lord himself. You must also know that my allegiance is not with the Dark, that I have given my life to repenting for an act done out of desperation and hatred. What you don't know is that I am the reason you are now hunted. It was I who heard the prophecy that forced you into hiding and I who foolishly reported it. I can never take back my mistake, but I want for you to understand that had I known that it was your child referred to and you who would be endangered, I would never have been so very foolish.
I cannot even bring myself to ask for your forgiveness, for I know I don't deserve it. I lost any right to beg your mercy the day I betrayed our friendship and insulted you so foully. It's something I must live with, something I hope I can one day atone for, but until that day, if it ever comes, there is something else I need for you to know.
It is this: The day I drove you away was the worse day of my life because it was the day I lost not only your friendship, but also any chance that you would ever return the love I held for you. Hold for you. I love you, Lily. I know that there is no point in telling you this now. You are married with a child on the way. You're happy. I can't tell you how pleased I am that you have found happiness; no one deserves it more. My only regret is that it wasn't with me.
I'm telling you this now because my life is a life filled with remorse. After everything else that I will spend whatever is left of my life atoning for, I don't want to regret not telling you that I love you. Should I die in this madness, know that I love you and that I will always love you.
Yours,
Severus
Harry Potter blinked back tears as he stared at the aged parchment. He'd spent several days going through the wreckage of his parents' home in Godric's Hollow, but he'd never expected to find proof of Severus Snape's humanity. The final battle had been over for days, and Snape was scheduled to receive the Kiss for the murder of Albus Dumbledore and for High Treason. Until now, Harry had believed he deserved it, but after reading Snape's most private words, he could no longer abide letting the man become a soulless shell, bound for eternity to wander restlessly in darkness. Harry knew that as the savior of the Wizarding world, it was in his power to determine this man's fate. He could sit by and watch as Snape received the Kiss, or he could say the word, and the man would be free. All it would take was the guarantee of the Boy Who Lived to give him his life back.
Harry folded the letter and slid it into his robes. He had questions that needed answering and a prisoner to see.
SB's Notes: This was an interesting one to write. I am actually a Snape/Lily fan, and I think that we'll find out in book seven that there was something between them. This was just my take on it. Thanks for reading!