Before everything : I'm French, so english is not my maternal language at all. But I try to improve myself, and when the idea of a fanfiction came to my mind, I decided to write it in english.

Basically because none of the french PLL fans that I know reads fanfictions. Write something in a language that no one speaks and understand is kind of useless, so, there it is, my first english fanfiction. I hope it's understandable at least. I tried to do my best. If you see any big mistake, please let me know in reviews !

Okay, so this is my first fanfiction ever . I started to read a lot of Sparia stuff recently, and I love this shipping, but one night the idea of Spencer being hurted by Ian the crazy psycho came to my mind, and was impossible to forget. So, there it is : Spencer, protecting Aria, but dealing with some horrible stuff at home … I'm kind of twisted I know ! So, a little fluffy Sparia, and some of Spian ? Iancer ? Is there a name for this shipping ?

Warning : Rated M for language, sexual content, and rape scene. Don't like don't read. R&R please !

The characters belongs to ABC family. I own nothing.

En avant, c'est parti !

I'm scared. Like every night. I ate, I tried to stay late in the living room watching TV, but I knew inside of me that it would not change anything. So I said Good night to Mum and Dad, and I went to my room, did my homeworks, call her, and try to be happy and relaxed on the phone, because I don't want to bother her, I don't want her to think that there is something wrong with me … I read some books, and Oh god it's time to sleep, so I turn the light off, and now I lay down on my bed, and I wait. Like every night.

I know I've got, maybe one hour before this happened. My parends and Melissa must be asleep. The house has to be empty and silent like an hospital. I also know that in this case hours seems to be minutes.

Every night I wait, and every night I try to convice myself that nothing bad will happen, that He is not such a bad person as this … I have to rationalize this. I have to keep my mind full, think to another stuff. If I start to think at all the things he's going to do with me I'm gonna cry. And crying is not good. If I cry something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything's fine. Spencer Hastings can't be wrong. Spencer Hastings can't be wrong. Spencer Hastings have to be okay, despite of everything. Everyone. Come on. We have a math exam tomorrow, I'm not ready, I can't have bad marks, bad marks is for people with problems, I have no problems, I'm fine. But I'm scared.

« Don't start, don't start, you start sobbing and moaning in fear , that's not good Spencer, come on, stop, everything gonna be allright, maybe tonight he will not come, maybe Melissa has something important to do with him, maybe she needs him, she's pregnant after all, maybe they're watching a movie in the barn, come on, you're not sure right ? You can't be sure he's gonna come, don't start to panic » And I try to confort myself with this melody. Sometimes it works. Not tonight.

The house is silent now. I start to fall asleep. Maybe tonight will be a harmless night after all.

Then I heard the door of the kitchen squeak. And the stairs crack. I can see him coming. I close my eyes, burrow me in my covers, plug my ears. But I see him in my head. He's walking in the hallway. Walks in front of the bathroom, avoiding the squeaky floor. Now he's in front off my door. I bite my lips so hard that I taste blood in my mouth. I'm freezing in my bed. My cover is not an armor against night monsters, i'm not a child anymore, and this monster is real. And dangerous.

I feel the bed shift as he lies down besides me. He pushes my hands from my ears and take them behind my back. His grip is tight, I know I'm gonna have bruises tomorrow, but it's nothing besides what is following next.

« Hello my angel »

I can't restrain a groan of terror. Oh god why. I have to be quiet, I know that, damn, there is nothing he loves more that seeing my fear. Just a groan for god sake, just a groan, and I almost can see him smile victoriously, as if he had already won.

« Open your eyes Spence. Open it … You don't want to make me furious right ? Open your eyes, look at me »

I can't fight. I open my eyes, and all I see is his face near to mine. He crashes his lips to mine and start to kiss me.

I want to die. At least I want to be far, far away from here, with all of my friends, with my family, with everyone who counts for me, without school, without him, especially without him.

I feel his tongue into my mouth, and I want to puke myself. Oh god why. I can't breathe. It's better. I want to go away from here.

« Oh my angel, are you crying ? But you know that I'm going to be very, very kind with you, right ? »

« Ian, please … please, leave me, don't … »

He slaps me, violently. I see black dots in my vision before he starts to touching me. Everywhere. On my breast first, in my crotch after, and his hands are not hands but sticky snakes who walks up and down my body. I'm crying, already, like a little child, or a hurted animal, which I am for now, and I hear him whispering and moaning and licking my tears. All I can do is stay here, try to be as silent as possible, while he rip off my pajamas and threw it on the floor. All I can do is try to think about something else. Someone else. No, not her, not here, not now, oh god …

Every night I try to get used to the pain. Every night it's more and more awful. Maybe one day I'm gonna die from this pain ? He's getting his way inside of me slowly, I feel the weight of his body crushing mine's, I'm burning in pain inside, I grip the sheets, and close my eyes despite his order, because that's all I can do now for escaping myself far, far away from him.

And suddently it's done. As usual he start to fall asleep on me, in me, and as usual I wake him up, cause I have to go and wash myself before starting to puke, or scream, or maybe both. No words. Just a awful, lustful, possessive gaze on me, lying naked on the bed, as he start to get down. He put his shirts and pants on, and he goes, deadly silent as usual.

It wasn't that horrible. Some night he made me things much more disgustings than this. And painful. This ... This is a calm, relaxing night, compared to some others one.

I can't take a shower. Mum said that shower at 1:00am is waking her up, and if I want to take a shower I have to do it sooner in the evening. So, I clean myself up like I can, put an another pajamas on, and walk down to the kitchen. I can't fall asleep now anyway. So, to the kitchen I go, put my forehead on the cold table, and start to think. I can't cry now. I think I've spendt all my stock of tears this night. I've got an headache. Great.

I think about her. I think about all that Ian could make to her, and suddently i start to feel comforted. All of this is for her. She's alive, and she is happy, and If she is happy I am too. So, everything is perfect.

Ian caught me with her one time. Aria and I. We did nothing wrong. We just kissed. It was a raining day, and I was alone with her in my room, and, well, one second I was just sitting in my bed, the other I was here, lying with Aria's body right next to me, kissing her, laughing with her between two kisses, whispering in his ears while she was sucking this sensitive point in my neck. We were here. Just happy to be together, alone, for once.

It wasn't the first kiss we shared. The first was a long, long time ago, way before Ali's death. Maybe it was a way for both of us to share a secret that even Ali shouldn't know. Aria did the first step. I loved it. It was soft, smooth and sweet... Perfect, basically. I can see, I can feel every little details of this kiss right now, in the kitchen, and I smile. If I make an effort I can remember all the kiss we shared together. Kiss and other stuff. Nothing like sex or anything, no, it's nothing like that. All we do is kissing. She seems to be happy like that. She's dating Ezra now, maybe it's all she can give to me now. It's allright. It's not like if I could date her, right ? I mean, I want his happiness before everything else. Anyway. Aria was my first kiss. Ian can't take this off from me. Maybe my memories is the only thing whitch belongs to me now.

Anyway.

I turned off and saw Ian staring at us with a wicked smile. He show me his phone victoriously, and he left my room. I was worried about this but never, ever, ever in my worst nightmares, I could imagine the price of his silence. Later this afternoon, after Aria's leave, Ian went to my room. My parents was away, my sister was sleeping in the barn, and Ian was here, with me. All this time I thought he hated me. Oh god, why did he can't just hate me, and nothing more ? But, the point is, Ian like girls. Every of them. And when he likes one girl in particular, it's very difficult for him to deal with his obsession. That's what he explain to me this night. He shows me the pictures he took, of Aria and I kissing, touching each other … And he asks me how much I was ready to gives to him for thoses pictures.

My parents are very stricts with this. I can have a boyfriend, I can date whoever I want. But if Emily's mother is intolerant with homosexuality, mine is worst. She think it's a sin. She think homosexuality is sickness, monstruosity, and nothing in earth will make her change her mind, I know that. But i can deal with the hate of my mom, I can deal with everything from my family, if I have Her on my side. The anger of Mum is nothing. That's what I tell to him.

« Ok Spence. Well, I guess I have to be a little more specific. Where does the tiny cute angel Aria lives ? And she is often alone, right ? Who knows what could happened to her, alone, in this big house ? After all Aria is a good starter … A word Spencer. A word and I leave your special friend. All you have to do is obey me. If you obey me, everyone will be safe. If you don't … I hurt Aria. And this little lesbian whore, Emily. And Blondie. Maybe I can hurt someone else who cares for you Spence, I can find someone else, trust me. So, what are you doing, my sweet little princess ? Did we have an agreement ? »

I'm tired. Of all of this. It's barely morning now, I see the rising sun from the kitchen's window. Maybe I can have some rest ? At least I can try. I'm going up to my room, take the sheets and threw them in the washing machine, and lay down on my bed. I fall asleep, not for so long. And in the middle of the darkness, I see her face. Maybe it's worthless. Maybe she will always been in love with Ezra. But she's safe, and right now nothing else matters. Like every other nights, I fall asleep with the pictures of an angel in front of my eyes. And the devil who hurt me every night can't take this angel away from me.

Edit : Thanks anon for pointing the "silencious" mistake on ! It's corrected ^^