A little SuFin drabble, translation of one of my own spanish fics (you can read it in my spanish profile kiriahtan). Specially thanks to Toma ( aphport in twitter) for being my amazing beta.
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Mechanism
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There is something Tino wants and he cannot give to him. Something he cannot understand. He can see it in his smile, something nervous, when he stares at him, expectant. The way Tino smiles is peculiar: sometimes it was the most sincere, but other times it cracks there, just being held together with screws, too tightened of screws, so adjusted. So hard that his smile trembles and weakens, and although Tino manages to hold this smile it is only on his lips, not reaching his eyes.
Sweden would like to know what Finland thinks about him. Because this way, he would know what he wants from him and he could try to give it to him. Because this is all that he wants, the only thing.
Day by day, with years passing by, this is what they are now. He had helped him run away almost by chance, and since then, Sweden has been focusing on Finland more and more. That trip in middle of the night together, fleeing from Denmark, was a nightmare for both of them and it had changed something; now Tino is the center of his little world. Anything that hurts Tino, anything that Tino would like... Berwald pays attention to each and every one of these 'anythings' and fixes them. He takes care of him, like a golden treasure.
At the same time, what Finland wants is only to understand Sweden. To discover why he does all these things for him. He feels embarrassed when he drops a glass and immediately, Berwald's hands are there tidying up for him so Tino is not hurt by the broken glass; when he sees something in one shop window, Berwald appears at home the next day with what he found.
"For me?"
A nod.
Deep in his chest Tino feels ashamed for having stolen Su-san's heart, because he knows he did it, but doesn't know how. And he doesn't really want to think about how he could have stolen something so valuable, so precious. And he doesn't know how to return it.
But, obviously, there is something Tino doesn't know.
"I l've ya," whispers Sweden during the nights, near his ear, upon him, before he kisses him with a delicacy that many would think of as incapable of coming from him, with that big body and that face of so few words.
And it's because Sweden doesn't need him to return it that he is happy like this. He is happy holding Finland tightly in his arms at night, smelling his cookies in the early morning, seeing him play with Sealand, or simply sitting on the porch. He doesn't need anything more.