Okay, I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning, so if the quality's not terribly great, I apologize. Anyway, it's sort of AU, and it was inspired by the song Happy Birthday by Flipsyde. Some of the lyrics are included.
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Please accept my apologies, wonder what would have been
Would you've been a little angel or an angel of sin?
Tomboy running around, hanging with all the guys.
Or a little tough boy with beautiful brown eyes?
I paid for the murder before they determined the sex
Choosing our life over your life meant your death
And you never got a chance to even open your eyes
Sometimes I wonder as a fetus if you fought for your life?
Would you have been a little genius in love with math?
Would you have played in your school clothes and made me mad?
Would you have been a little rapper like your papa da Piper?
Would you have made me quit smokin' by finding one of my lighters?
I wonder about your skin tone and shape of your nose?
And the way you would have laughed and talked fast or slow?
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Roy stood looking out at the city skyline, thinking hard about the decision he had just made. There was nothing he could say to himself to justify what he had agreed to. Even though his lover wouldn't be able to afford to take care of the child and he was too busy with his work in the military, he thought they could have managed. But the woman couldn't live that way. She didn't want anything to do with Mustang or the child that was still inside her body. She didn't want to wait five months to give life to it. She had cried. He hadn't been able to refuse.
He sighed. Even though he had ended so many lives, this one seemed especially vile. He was allowing someone with his own blood to be killed, before they even had a chance to live. Before they could walk, before they could talk, before they could laugh, smile, look at their father's face and understand that he would protect them no matter what.
He blinked away the tears that began forming in his eyes and went back into the hospital. The abortion was almost complete. He waited for it to be over so that he could bid the woman farewell. He went into her room and looked into her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He held up a hand and waved before leaving her behind.
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Think about it every year, so I picked up a pen
Happy birthday, love you whoever you woulda been
Happy birthday...
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
Happy birthday
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
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Roy stared out the window of his office. It had been a year since he had given up his chance at fatherhood, and it still hurt him, almost as much as Ishbal did. He pulled out a pen and began unconsciously writing on a piece of paper, but he stopped when he heard the door open. He turned it over.
"Sir?"
Roy looked up at Hawkeye, trying to hide his pain under a mask of sleepiness. "Oh, you're back already."
"Yes, sir. Are… you all right?"
Roy blinked and felt a small amount of moisture in his eyes. "Fine. Just tired."
"Well, it's almost midnight. You've done enough work today, sir. I think it's time to go home."
Roy yawned and stood up, unwittingly shifting the paper and sending it to the floor. Before he could grab it, Riza picked it up and looked at it. She paused.
"What's this?"
Roy took the paper and threw it away. "Nothing."
Riza, however, didn't accept that answer. "It can't be nothing. An apology from you is rare, sir. No offense."
Roy sighed as he got his coat. "You remember… it was about a year ago. That woman."
"You were apologizing to her?"
"No, to someone else." Roy left the office, leaving Riza to finish closing up shop.
Riza pulled out the paper and looked at it again. Underneath the words "I'm sorry" was another sentence. I love you whoever you would have been.
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I've got a million excuses to why you died
Bet the people got their own reasons for homicide
Who's to say it woulda worked, and who's to say it wouldn't have?
I was young and strugglin' but old enough to be your dad
The fear of being my father has never disappeared
Pondering frequently while I'm sippin' on my beer
My vision of a family was artificial and fake
So when it came time to create I made a mistake
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"Sir!"
Roy started and sat upright in his chair as Fuery ran up to his desk. "What is it, Fuery?" Roy asked.
"It's the Elric brothers, sir. Alphonse wants to talk to you. He says it's urgent."
"Where is he?"
"He's coming up right now with Lieutenant Hawkeye."
"All right. Thanks for the heads up."
Fuery saluted and left the room to go back to whatever he had been doing, leaving the door open. Seconds later, Riza and Alphonse came inside. Roy quickly greeted Al before getting to the point. "What happened?"
Al couldn't move his face, but Roy could tell he was in a state of panic. "It's brother. He was kidnapped last night. I left to get something and when I came back, the window was broken and he was gone. I went outside to go after him, but I couldn't find anything."
Roy was surprised at how clearly Al had spoken, but then he remembered that while Al could express emotions, he didn't have a body that could interfere with his voice's clarity.
"I came here right after that," Al finished.
"Where were you staying?" Roy asked.
"At a hotel in the southern part of the city," Al replied.
Roy immediately turned to Riza. "Organize a search party and search the southern quarter of the city. Whoever took Fullmetal is probably armed and dangerous, so be on the alert."
"Sir!" Riza saluted and left the room. Roy turned to Al and patted the chest piece of his armor.
"Don't worry. We'll find him."
Al nodded. "But aren't you going into this more quickly than usual? The last time something like this happened you waited a week."
Roy shrugged and grabbed his coat. "Let's go, shall we?"
Al stood in the office for a moment before following the Colonel out of the office. On the desk lay a paper with Roy's handwriting on it. I met someone a few years ago. I promise I won't fail him the way I failed you. I won't let him die like I let you die.
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Now you've got a little brother maybe he's really you?
Maybe you really forgave us knowin' we was confused?
Maybe every time that he smiles it's you proudly
Knowin' that your father's doing the right thing now?
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Roy combed the streets with Al trailing behind him. He went into an alley and saw some broken glass on the ground. Considering that none of the nearby buildings even had windows, he made a connection and continued down the alley. Al went to find backup.
He heard an angry scream from the end of the alley. He sprinted down to the end and turned a corner. What he saw shocked him.
Ed was on the ground, his shirt torn and a blade poised to go through his heart. The person who held the blade looked up at Roy and grinned. "Well, look at this, your military friend really did come."
"Dammit, let me go, you freak!" Ed shouted. Roy instinctively pulled his hand out of his pocket. He was wearing one of his gloves. Ed's assailant laughed and shook a finger at Roy.
"Now, now, you burn me, I'll drop this and it'll go straight through this kid."
Roy lowered his hand and glared at the man. "What do you want?"
"Revenge, of course. I hate the military, and I hate alchemists, so I figured, why not kill two birds with one stone? And in this case," the man continued, licking his lips. "I really will kill two."
Roy snorted. "Yeah, right."
The man pulled a small knife from his belt and threw it. It flew straight at Roy. Roy ducked just in time, and the knife only cut some of his hair. "Oh, think I won't be able to throw before you do your nifty little flame alchemy? Don't try me, Mustang. I will kill you both, no mistake about that."
Roy looked back at Ed, who caught the Colonel's glance and nodded slightly. He slowly moved his hands closer to the blade as Roy continued to distract the man.
"And why do you hate those two things so much?" Roy asked.
The man snorted. "Why wouldn't I? Your precious alchemy's done nothing for me." Before Roy could move, the man brought the sword up and brought it down with so much speed that it was a miracle Ed got his hands on it in time. And he wasn't on time. He moved enough that he avoided a fatal wound, but the blood still sprayed everywhere.
Roy snapped his fingers and sent the man flying. He spared a glance at Ed, and when he saw that Ed was still conscious, he made his way to the would-be killer and leaned in close, grabbing the man's hands to prevent another attack.
"Your damn revenge won't get you anywhere, especially if you go after children, you bastard." With that, Roy let go of the man's right wrist and brought his curled fist into the man's face.
Once he was sure the man wouldn't be able to attack again, Roy went to Ed's side. By this point in time, backup had arrived, and someone went to work on Ed's wounds, trying to stop the large amount of blood flowing from Ed's side. Ed looked straight into the Colonel's eyes. "You didn't have to be so extreme, you know," he said, pointing at his forehead with his right hand. His bangs had been singed, and there was a small red mark on his hairline.
Roy smiled guiltily. "Sorry about that."
Ed smiled back. "No problem. If you hadn't come, I wouldn't be able to complain at all. Thanks."
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From the heavens to the womb to the heavens again
From the endin' to the endin', never got to begin
Maybe one day we could meet face to face?
In a place without time and space
Happy birthday
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
Happy birthday
What I thought was a dream
Make a wish
Was as real as it seemed
I made a mistake
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Al hummed a simple tune to himself as he brought some books to his brother's hospital room. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see someone inside, sitting next to Ed's bed. He was holding a notebook, and he was writing something in it.
"Um, Colonel?"
Roy looked up, shut the notebook, and set it on the table. "Morning, Alphonse."
"Morning." Al set the books down next to the notebook and looked at his sleeping brother. "You can wake him up if you want to talk to him."
Roy shrugged. "Maybe later."
"What were you writing?" Al asked.
Roy looked down. Al could tell there was pain in his eyes and immediately apologized.
"No, it's fine." Roy stretched and looked back at Ed. "I just made a mistake a few years ago. Actually, a certain anniversary was on the day your brother was kidnapped."
"A mistake? Is that what made you want to find brother so badly?"
Roy nodded. "I didn't want to end another child's life, not when I could protect him."
Al hesitated before asking something else. "Is it… what you're talking about… is it from Ishbal?"
Roy smiled sadly and shook his head. "No, actually… I had a chance to be a father, but I gave it up." He stood up and walked to the door. "That's why. I didn't want to make another mistake."
Roy left the hospital room, forgetting his notebook on the table as he walked down the hallway. Al's curiosity got the better of him. He picked up the notebook and looked at the page Roy had been writing on.
Maybe he's like you, someone who's lost a chance at a happy life. Someone whose father abandoned him. Someone I could have helped. Well, I learned from my mistakes. I will help him from now on. I will make sure he can live. I'll make up for my pathetic role as a parent and also his father's, if I can. I can't change the past, but I'll try my best to make the future better.
I love you, and I always will.
Happy fourth birthday.
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Okay, just a note, I am anti-abortion, but that doesn't have much to do with the story, I was more focusing on the idea of Roy making a decision he regrets and tries to make up for it, like the mistake Ed and Al made that they're trying to fix. So… yeah…