"i can't believe your uncle just let us go." ty lee said trying not to seem upset. ty lee never was one to be able to take punishment lightly. Not to say she's a wimp though. when azula left some bruises and burns on her,she only screamed and cried minimally. i took most of the punishment though. it was only fair, since i was the one who betrayed them both. I was the one who let zuko and his clan of wanna be saints go. ty lee was just trying to be ty lee and stop a fight.
I almost welcomed the pain from the interigation, if thats even what you could call it. Seeing as how it was better than the pain of losing zuko again, and coming to the realization of how deeply i'm screwed. this time I lost him because of something I secretly believe in too, and my stubborn will to change. I keep wondering if there was a way things could've been different. If I had been more open with him... would he have told me the truth?
"well ty, he loves me, and wants me to kill zuko." i said with a smirk thinking of the look on my uncle face if he saw me pin zuko to the wall. Which is the least I can do to him. He got me thrown in prizon, tortured, disowned by most of my family, and my uncle is now going to suffer severly for letting me go. If they don't just kill him where he stands. But then I remember they'd keep him alive to rip my location out of him, and use him as bait. Only he and I both know that right now, thats not an option that would work. If I went back to save him, there is no question that I would be caught. Then where would we both be? The only option now, no matter how painful, is to run. Even at the cost of the only true parent I will ever love or respect. Or morn... wonderful. thanks zuko, remind me to kick your ass when i see you.
I can't stop the feeling of disgust and regret at leaving him there. My uncle. The only adult i've ever know that respects me enough to care what i want out life. Rather than thrusting his idea of what i should live. I'm surprised about that still too. I mean considering his family and what he does for a living you'd assume he's a tyrant. Well not to me. I keep sighing aloud at the situation we've all been placed in thanks to the egomatic royal family. Although ursa was great but I haven't seen her in so long I think all my memories of her may be tainted with the blood ozai has spilt. I swear if zuko ever became his father, no matter how much I love him I would have no choice but to get rid of him. I couldn't stand reliving all of this crap all over again. Which Is a great possibility, considering zuko's inability to make a decision.
Don't get me wrong. I do still love zuko, but i'm still pissed that he couldn't be honest with me earlier. without me locking him in a cell. Most importantly though, what was with that stupid letter? Would it have killed him to come talk to me in person before he left? or how about all those times he came over to pout in my room? Although it was fun to distract him when that happened. Or even better, why didn't he just bring me with him? I mean ty could've gotten away easy during the eclipse, and I would be a huge asset to their cause. I would've been able to fight, sneak into places they needed, hell even keep zuko from getting angry and stubborn. Agni, why am I in love with a moron?
"so how much longer till we reach the air temple? and umm...how do you know he'll be there?" ty lee said absent mindedly playing with her braid.
"Because its zuko, something tells me he'll be there. Its close enough to the prison but far enough to go unnoticed. The biggest threat there now according to the fire nation is dust." i said slightly grimacing as the pain of my wounds began to overwhelm me. My mind was nearly as broken as my body now too. Normally i'd try to hide how i'm feeling, but I don't have the energy anymore. It helps that me and ty where in oposite cells while we were tortured, and we both know each other much more now. Nothing brings friends closer than knowing each others breaking points.
"mai are you alright?" ty lee asked concern dancing across her face as she quickly moved to embrace me. "how bad is it?" she asked looking me straight in the eyes.
i couldn't lie to her, she was my best friend when no one else wanted to know me, basically a sister. Also i was in no condition to lie about something that was clearly killing me slowly.
"...its...bad. I should be fine after some sleep though. don't worry so much... little miss perky. shouldn't you be the one reassureing me?" i smirked in hopes my almost good mood would make her calm down. I know its probably mean, but the idea of having to comfort her made me tired and irritated already. I'm sure she'd want plenty of hugs. which if you've ever met me... you know I don't hug.
"Why don't we make a fire ty? its getting colder and since its been a while since we dumped the baloon. It couldn't hurt to treat ourselves to dinner and a nap right? Maybe i'll even laugh at your bad jokes, and you can pretend i'm bubbly and fun." I said making the closest impersonation to ty's extremely happy face.
"why mai, i think i may be rubbing off on you finally." ty lee giggled as she and i started to gather wood for the fire.
"don't flatter yourself, its the fatigue and bloodloss." i chuckled to my self then glancing at ty lee's frown finished with, "i'm kidding ty..."
we wandered gathering what we could. luckly my uncle sent me off with money and supplies so i could actually survive long enough to get to a town and seek help. the only help i wanted right now was from either ty or...him. its funny, how i could admit my love for zuko to azula and yet not yet him. i wanted to smack myself for not telling him when i had so many opportunities. why couldn't i just be his mai again and stop being so damn gaurded. god i love him. loved. i reminded my self when he left again it was kinda a giant "its over" in my face. I wanted so bad to just kiss him and run away with him. I'd even be willing to help the avatar...or tolerate him, but i knew i couldn't unless i abandoned ty. I couldn't leave her to azula's unstable crazy antics. sure azula had her good times but they were almost as rare as me laughing. i looked into my arms that were starting to ache from the huge pile of timbers i'd gathered. Ok i was thinking to much. i had enough here to make three or four decent fires.
"hey ty i think we've got enough. unless we plan to burn the woods down." i said looking to the pile nearly as big in her arms. we were both thinking too much. sure we'd been through alot but we needed to move on. brooding over the past wouldn't change anything. and personally i didn't feel like remembering anything that happened or what was sure to happen if we were found. the thought made me ache from the memories from only a few days ago.