AN: This is not my Roxas, but that's because I'm writing this for a friend. I promise I won't take too long for updates, Pyro.~

I lived 16 years in a week as a human.

Before that, I spent two days in blankness, and 358 days in non-existence.

And then I'll live a lifetime in him.

Staring through the eyes of someone else is something you never quite get used to. It's like you're looking out at the world with the wrong set of eyes. You want to reach left, but instead you're going right. You want to punch him, but instead you're hugging him. You want to scream, but instead you laugh.

You want to die, but instead you have to live. Breathing, but not alive. Living, but not by choice.

Secretly, I wish I never found him. I wish I had never looked, I wish I had never left, I wish I had never wondered. Sora…wasn't a bad person. But he also wasn't me. And I was not him. When I found him, floating in an endless sleep, I had accepted everything. I was going to die, and be reborn as him and him alone, within him. I would fit back in like a missing puzzle piece, and blend in with the rest of the picture seamlessly.

But that didn't happen. I awoke and there were these people that I knew but didn't know, and when I tried to say "How are you here," it was instead "I missed you!" Instead of my body running out of the room, it jumped around in circles in glee. Instead of my heart beating in my chest from anxiety, it was a calm and collected rhythm of happiness and contentment.

This wasn't my body and that wasn't my voice and these weren't my feelings. I tried to scream, but no one heard me. Because there was only him, and I was trapped. No matter if I cried, or yelled, or even laughed. I would not be heard. I wouldn't be acknowledged.

I watched through his eyes as he wandered through the town that was my home. Watched how he retraced my exact steps without knowing why he knew them so well. Instantly he stumbled upon my friends meeting grounds, and I couldn't say a thing to them. But even in my state, I wondered, why do they look so normal? Shouldn't they be worried, or sad, or something? I was…gone. Didn't I mean anything to them?

And as he turned and left, I realized that I had been erased here, too. Because after all, this was the real world. It wasn't my digital town. Those were just the shadow of my friends – or my friends were just the echo of them. Ha. Did I not have anything real? Was nothing in my life meaningful? Real?

And as he went to board the train, he looked at them, once more. My friends. Or, at the very least…their image. Their painful image of something that I actually cared about.

And for the first time since I had become trapped, some of me shined through. Because I could feel that warm liquid cascading down my face, because I was sad. I was sad. And I was heard, even though no one knew. But they didn't have to, because that was all the confirmation I needed. I would not disappear completely. I could not disappear completely. And if I was forced to this cut-off existence, then I would fight with everything I had.

It was little things, at first. Small quirks in his speech patterns that weren't there before, ideas that he usually wouldn't have thought of, things that were just big enough to be noticed, but small enough as to not cause worry or suspicion. Then it was habits that he never would have developed otherwise. When he was nervous, he would start to scratch at his arm – it was something that I had developed when I was in the Organization. I didn't understand the feeling at first, but I realized that pain helped make things a bit easier. It was something I never had the chance to get rid of.

He became a coffee person, too. I never really knew that he wasn't one before until that girl – Kairi – pointed it out one morning. He didn't quite understand the sudden craving either, so he just passed it off as something he must have picked up during his travels – the need to not want to be tired all the time had lead him to start. I have to admit, it was a good excuse. He believed it as truth, but I knew better.

Then it was his temper. I knew what kind of person he was – very easy going, and very hard to seriously aggravate. But I had caused him to flip out on Riku on more than one occasion; the first time it happened, it was hilarious. I don't remember what he had managed to say to him, but the look on Riku's face was priceless. He didn't even comprehend that he had just yelled at for at least a few beats.

But the thing that mattered the most was when he would repeat verbatim what I would say.

It happened first when – surprise surprise – when he was alone with Riku. He had confronted Sora about how he had changed; how he was acting differently, and he wasn't sure what was wrong with him. It hadn't started out bad, since Sora was good at coming up with reasons for things, but Riku liked to think he knew better, as if he knew everything. And I've never liked the guy in the first place…it seems to be a side effect of him completely blind sighting me in a fight, and sending me to a virtual prison.

During the heat of the fight, somehow, it had turned into a lover's quarrel. Riku had confessed that Sora was no longer the same person he had fallen for. He retaliated with saying that he couldn't help that he was changing; that it was a part of life. Which was met with Riku grabbing him and saying that change is supposed to be good, and that he thought he loved him. And then words just came tumbling out – "How can I love someone who took EVERYTHING away from me! You sacrificed my life without a second thought!"

The silence that followed was thick and oppressing. I was pissed, and .. and I had been heard. I had broken yet another boundary that separated me from the real world. My emotions had gotten out.

Sora didn't know what to say. Because just as soon as that burst of anger had come, it had left, and confusion had swept over him like a cold breeze. But it was Riku who had been the one to speak first.

"...Roxas?"

I could practically taste that borderline hate in his voice. It was carefully concealed behind that curious and skeptical tone, which was laced in confusion. It still took Sora a minute to recover, and when he did, all he could say was, "No, I don't know where that came from…But, please, don't say that. Organization XIII had made an effort to call me that at every turn. Can we, um, not bring that back here, too?"

I could feel his heartbeat. He wasn't even believing himself anymore, and he had a very good reason not to. Because I had finally been acknowledged, and was getting closer to existence.

They didn't talk about it for the rest of the day. They didn't tell Kairi, or any of their other little friends. But when he went home that night, and lay in bed, quietly he asked, "Are you there?"

Even though I said yes, he didn't hear me. He laughed and played it off as just being tired, and that was okay. Just for now.

Two whole years had passed without change. I hated it. Things had been working out so quickly in the beginning, but it seemed like I had reached my limit of existence. Sora had started dating Riku, and they had returned to their normal lives. I still hated kissing Riku, and it bugged me seeing Kairi. She looked too much like Naminé—and Xion. She was like a reminder of everything I had—everything I lost.

And that brings me to where I am now. Sitting in a Starbucks café sipping a vanilla bean frappuccino, right across from Riku.

"Exams are coming up, you know."

"Yeaaaaaahh…" Sora said lazily, taking another sip from the straw. "But I'll study later. We've still got plenty of time, right?"

Riku sighed. "You said that last time, and you barely managed to scrape by. What if I end up dating a guy who couldn't even pass high school all because he didn't study?"

Sora poked out his lip in annoyance; certainly not something he got from me. It was this mock-pout thing that Riku found…cute. "You'd love me anyway, though? Besides. I'll totally pass! What's a little studying compared to saving the worlds, anyway!"

Riku opened his mouth, but he was interrupted by another voice – one that I was easily able to recognize, and one that managed to send chills down my spine.

"Oh? So it's Mr. Hero here in the flesh? I was wondering when I would run into you on this tiny little island..~"

Sora, on the other hand, didn't seem to have a clue as to who it was, even after he turned around to get a good look at the speaker.

Blonde hair, green eyes, and a dangerous glare that could put anyone on edge. Case in point, when "Mr. Hero" started to fidget in his seat. But it was my voice who managed to come to the surface, and overtake his stupid question of, 'who are you?'

"Łarxene."

She smirked, and Sora just looked confused.

"Oh~ So the big hero hasn't forgotten little 'ol me?~"

I felt him frown, and he seemed to be sifting through memories trying to place her. Unfortunately, he wouldn't find any of his own. Those were gone. Naminé had made sure of that – to get rid of everything that had happened within Castle Oblivion. She had shown me, once, everything that happened. She wrote everything into my memory – she told me it was proof that she could actually feel. I didn't have the capacity to believe her claim at the time. But I do now, even though it's not worth a thing.

"No, I…Who are you? I'm sorry, if that is your name, it was just a lucky guess or, something?"

He was nervous, and started to itch at his arm. Łarxene was quick to catch the action, but before she could get out whatever witty reply she most likely though up, Riku appeared by Sora's chair and stared at her. Sora may not have retained his memories of that time, but Riku had chosen to remember. He knew her.

"Why are you alive, Nobody," He spit, and if I had the power at the moment to make his eyes narrow, I would. "You should be dead. I know you died back there."

At that, any confusion Sora had was dispelled and was replaced with a sense of urgency – I could feel the thoughts running through his head…Nobody? The Organization? One of 13 that had already been killed off, how is she…

"Calm yourself, or you'll die young of a heart attack ~ It's true that I did die," she replied, shifting back on one of her heels. "But I woke up in Radiant Garden. Don't know how long I was gone, but it was long enough to know that our little group was disposed of. ~ And you can't call me a nobody. I've been reborn with my very own heart..~" There was a pause, in which she turned to face Sora, instead. "It seems not every one of us was as lucky."

And before I could register, something cracked open. I don't know what it was, or how, but I felt my blood run cold, but I could feel, and everything wasn't detached.

"Ha…you can say that again."

And the words spoken came from me. Me. Not him…And I was in control.

Łarxene seemed amused, and when I looked at Riku, he stayed still as a statue. But the emotion burning in his eyes said a completely different thing.

"Roxy, darling.~ I was wondering when you were going to speak up completely.~"

This time, I laugh. It may not be my voice, but it was better than nothing. It was better than anything I had felt in years. "To be honest, this is the first time I've been able to do this. It's only been small phrases that I've ever been able to get through. His expression," jabbing a finger in Riku's direction, "says it all. I was supposed to have disappeared but I didn't. Much like…you, I suppose."

Łarxene unzips her purse and takes out a small card and a pen, and scribbles something down on it and hands it to me. When I take it, I realize that it's a number.

"I think we have a lot to talk about, Roxy.~ Give me a call sometime, we'll set something up. I'm not the only one in town, after all"

She winks at me, but she's walking out the door before I can get another word in. And then I feel Riku's hand gripping at my shoulder, and he's whispering through clenched teeth, "Let's go."

And I follow, because I don't see what else to do. I fully intend to get out as much as I can with him, because I don't know how long I will be able to last like this. He's not the only one who has bitter feelings here. And I'll be damned if I don't make that crystal clear.